What Do You Regret Not Having Done?

[PlayfulAlex]

H. Jackson Brown, Jr. is an American author best known for his inspirational book, Life's Little Instruction Book, which was a New York Times bestseller (1991–1994). One of his many now-famous quotes is:

"Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."

Rarely do I regret doing something. I'm a pretty calculating person and I tend to put a lot of time, energy, and research into all of my decisions. You might think that makes me lack in the spontaneity department but I'm not one to like nasty surprises. Yeah, I guess I even plan my fun, to a certain degree!

Like the time I was on vacation with a male (platonic) friend, I plotted out a) how to invite the (clearly married) guy at the resort that I'd been drooling over, to follow me back to my room, and b) how and when to do it while said roommate was out of our room for a while! I even introduced said roommate to married-guy while suntanning, and my roommate never figured out what had transpired! PS It worked out awesome!

Sometimes, though, I think about regretting things that I didn't do, and this made me think of the above quote.

Then I think about how different my life would be today, if I hadn't made the decisions that I'd made in the past. In which case, this would indicate that there isn't anything for me to regret, because I really am super happy with my life as it is now.

Anyway, if I was going to regret something that I didn't do, it might be that I didn't discover this hobby/playground a lot sooner.

So, what do you regret not having done?

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Wow great topic. Easy answer live life with no regrets when one door closes another two open. Make proper choices, let your conscience be your guide. Realize that nothing great was ever accomplished without some risk. Strive step forward no retreat no surrender but sometimes you need to go in a different direction.

I've had a lot in my life that I can look back on and say if only or I regret doing that. However, we need to use our choices from the past to be the rudder that guides us in the future. I look back with fond memories on the stuff I've done or accomplished. You can't move forward if for constantly crying about what happened to you in the past. Choice made choices earned

All good points, BJohn, but sometimes, you just won't ever have the chance to do something that you didn't do.

Two (completely made up) examples:
A) You didn't run a marathon. Well, there are 80 year-olds who started running late in life, and ended up running a marathon. Moral: it's never too late to start running.
B) You didn't have children. Well, there's a biological clock, and old people aren't the most likely to get accepted as adoptive parents. Moral: if you don't make the decision to have children soon enough, you will definitely lose the opportunity to do so in the future.

Some decisions are bigger than others, obviously.

You know the song...If I Could Turn Back Time...what would you do differently, if you could turn back time?

 

[Sonny]

If I Could Turn Back Time...what would you do differently, if you could turn back time?

I would have listened to a truly good friend who suggested that I should not get married.

 

[Caramel]

this is very interesting PAlex! Its true there are many more things that I regret NOT doing with my life, than things I've already done. There are very very few things I regret, and a whole list of things I wish I had done in my short life so far...and this has affected my whole future. I'd rather not mention any of it because its quite personal, but I really agree with this concept.

 

[yazoo]

I would have listened to a truly good friend who suggested that I should not get married.

yah, but then you'd be regretting not having experienced marriage.

I regret being scattered in my approach to career management - but then I've had an interesting life, so on balance it is all ok.

Maybe that bbfs night and now the twins in the Philippines....

 

[thehedonist]

Started seeing sp's at a much younger age - like 14. Dropped out of high school and learned a trade.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I regret not having kept any of the properties I've owned in my life in Vancouver (7). Would I have done things differently, if I'd had a crystal ball...duh! :doh:

Do I still want to buy property today...maybe!

 

[Sonny]

yah, but then you'd be regretting not having experienced marriage.

Nah, I could have done all right without experiencing marriage. Maybe it's good for some folks, but not this guy.

 

[luvsdaty]

I regret not stocking up on Cuban Lunch chocolate bars :-( man i miss those.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I regret not stocking up on Cuban Lunch chocolate bars :-( man i miss those.

With a small investment of ingredients and 20 minutes of your time, I believe you can have (some of) your dream back:

http://www.food.com/recipe/cuban-lunch-candies-85173

 

[blazejowski]

Learning how to skate when I was younger. Wasting the first 10 years of my life in a shitty bar job, and blowing all my money on booze. Eating shitty. Not having a driver's license until my mid-20's. Not getting an education when I was living at home with the 'rents. Basically my whole life until now... lol...

 

[kauffman]

Wow great topic. Easy answer live life with no regrets when one door closes another two open. Make proper choices, let your conscience be your guide. Realize that nothing great was ever accomplished without some risk. Strive step forward no retreat no surrender but sometimes you need to go in a different direction.

I've had a lot in my life that I can look back on and say if only or I regret doing that. However, we need to use our choices from the past to be the rudder that guides us in the future. I look back with fond memories on the stuff I've done or accomplished. You can't move forward if for constantly crying about what happened to you in the past. Choice made choices earned

i dont regret anything. Im not so self riteous as to think I should have made better choices. The "mistakes" I made gave me insight and charachter. Sometimes I wish that i had been more of my own person more often and not let others guilt me into feeling like I should "follow" their well worn paths. I love going off the beaten track and surviving . And I love the people I meat aloing the way that have the same "i'll see for myself" attitude.

 

[Fakenham]

i used to regret all the time i wasted feeling regret.

 

[Flanders]

i dont regret anything. Im not so self riteous as to think I should have made better choices. The "mistakes" I made gave me insight and charachter. Sometimes I wish that i had been more of my own person more often and not let others guilt me into feeling like I should "follow" their well worn paths. I love going off the beaten track and surviving . And I love the people I meat aloing the way that have the same "i'll see for myself" attitude.

 

[rickoshadows]

There are regrets for choices made which one wishes he had made differently. Then there are regrets for opportunities missed for no good reason. I believe the OP is referring to the latter. As I look back, there are decisions I made which turned out to have been wrong, or less appropriate, but when I do a post-mortem, I feel I would have made the same decision given the info and circumstances I had at the time. I try not to beat myself up over those. The opportunities missed are the ones I really feel regrets for. One such chance was a trip to Cuzco and Machu Piccu many years ago which I passed up for a weekend of drinking and time wasting. Fortunately I had a chance to make that trip again, at much greater cost and I slap myself to this day for not doing it the first time.

 

[BonerHardBiceps]

I wish i never knew about escorts and tried to get regular girls with hard work.

 

[frisky69]

I regret not spending a year in Whistler being a ski bum while I was young enough to do it.

 

[Larry Storch]

Wayyyy back in the mid '80's when the intarwebs was just starting up there was a place in Nanaimo where you could buy time online. Back then Alta Vista and Excite were the main search engines. Just for the hell of it I searched for chevy.com and got a notice saying "That domain does not exist. Would you like to register it?" I searched for a lot of others like ford.com, dodge.com, rollsroyce.com etc etc and kept getting the same.
I thought that I would get in HUUUUGE trouble and get sued back to the stone age by the companies so I didn't register them.:doh:

I try not to think about it too much.

But, because of some experiences years later (being burned financially by someone I trusted) maybe it was for the best. I feel bad about the money I lost to this person, but would probably feel worse if I lost millions rather than thousands.