igns of Abusive Relationships
Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:
harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching
tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say
frequently humiliates you or makes you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)
threatens to harm you, or self-harm, if you leave the relationship
twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions
demands to know where you are at all times
constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends
Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are also red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect. When someone says stuff like "If you loved me, you would . . . " that's also a warning of possible abuse, and is a sign that your partner is trying to manipulate you. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want — not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused
In addition to the signs listed above, here are some signs a friend might be being abused by a partner:
unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks
excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason
secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family
avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense
A person who is being abused needs someone to hear and believe him or her. Maybe your friend is afraid to tell a parent because that will bring pressure to end the relationship. People who are abused often feel like it's their fault — that they "asked for it" or that they don't deserve any better. But abuse is never deserved. Help your friend understand that it is not his or her fault. Your friend is not a bad person. The person who is being abusive has a serious problem and needs professional help.
A friend who is being abused needs your patience, love, and understanding. Your friend also needs your encouragement to get help immediately from an adult, such as a parent, family member, or guidance counselor. Most of all, your friend needs you to listen without judging. It takes a lot of courage to admit being abused; let your friend know that you're offering your full support
abusive people feel they have the right to "test" you or "teach "you as though they are superior and feel justified in making you their project "for your own good"
Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:
harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching
tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say
frequently humiliates you or makes you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)
threatens to harm you, or self-harm, if you leave the relationship
twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions
demands to know where you are at all times
constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends
Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are also red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect. When someone says stuff like "If you loved me, you would . . . " that's also a warning of possible abuse, and is a sign that your partner is trying to manipulate you. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want — not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused
In addition to the signs listed above, here are some signs a friend might be being abused by a partner:
unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks
excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason
secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family
avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense
A person who is being abused needs someone to hear and believe him or her. Maybe your friend is afraid to tell a parent because that will bring pressure to end the relationship. People who are abused often feel like it's their fault — that they "asked for it" or that they don't deserve any better. But abuse is never deserved. Help your friend understand that it is not his or her fault. Your friend is not a bad person. The person who is being abusive has a serious problem and needs professional help.
A friend who is being abused needs your patience, love, and understanding. Your friend also needs your encouragement to get help immediately from an adult, such as a parent, family member, or guidance counselor. Most of all, your friend needs you to listen without judging. It takes a lot of courage to admit being abused; let your friend know that you're offering your full support
abusive people feel they have the right to "test" you or "teach "you as though they are superior and feel justified in making you their project "for your own good"
