US Thanksgiving

[BS Detector]

Just wanted to wish our American friends a Happy Thanksgiving.
If you're like me and can't tell for sure when the turkey is thoroughly cooked and not all dried out, give this recipe a try. I'm no gourmand but it worked for me so it can work for you.

Ingredients:
 1 12-20 lbs. Turkey
 2 cups melted butter
 3 cups stuffing (the kind that comes out of a box is fine)
 1 cup uncooked popcorn (low fat)
 Salt/Pepper to taste

Instructions:
 Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F.).
 Put turkey in baking pan and brush well with butter, salt and pepper.
 Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
 Place baking pan in oven with the neck end toward the oven's back.
 Listen for popping sounds.
 When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open, it's done!

 

[BS Detector]

Another holiday joke.

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful Doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600." The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote
 "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
 "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home. I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
 "Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
 "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."