Threats and bulling from friends X boy friends.

[johnsmit]

I don't take threats lightly.. or being Bulled. But not much I can do unless the guy actually get physically with me ..

I dont really understand why any of the boy friends of my friend feel threatened by me ..I 60 yrs old ..not some one any 30 yr old is going to run off with ..
Of course they can all way count on me the be there to help when things are not so good .. and I find my self doing what I fig any decent person would do in a relationship ..but their boy friends weren't doing .
Girl really know how to pick great guys ..
Never the less this ones been abusing my friend in one way or the other for most of their relationship .and she did not want to leave .. or could not or would not ..All though now she has gone back to escortING just to try and get enough money to get away ..and then she pays it to him for money she owes...

Well he threatens her.. takes her phone..and now is treating me so I don't help her if she contacts me .What a fuck en ass hole.

Of course it won't stop me from helping if I can and I can deal with him if he does come after me ..
I'll do what I have to to defend myself ...

 

[1nitestan]

Get out of the situation while you can. Chances are even if she pays him back, their relationship will be a clusterfuck and you don't wanna be caught in the middle. It's just not worth it.

 

[Lo-ki]

These situations are unfortunetly what we may encounter with this hobby. My best advice to you is
do what you think is right. But remember that you come first.

cheers

 

[johnsmit]

It not that I can do that much for her theses day
I have no truck any more . And make less then min wage at work I do ..

But I just don't drop.a friends .that I have stood by for the past 6 yrs. Through all that she goes through .
Yah it Fucked for sure .. and she been trying to get out if this.. but jobs have screwed her .. social assistance have screwed her..and other then still having one or two friends to go to..There has not been much she could do .. it all ways so tuff for women to get out of abusive relationship ..and the physiological effect ....

I seen it a few times..and shake my head .. no one takes advice...or will alway take help.when it's offered .

 

[badbadboy]

Either ignore it, report the threat or deal with it.

More times than not the threats are BS

If you have been threatened with violence then report it. Should you ever have to defend yourself at least it's been reported.

Not recommended to deal with it because you never know what's waiting for you. If you have to, bring a good friend as a witness or backup.

 

[johnsmit]

I personally think most of it is B'S. ...but I know some of his past .so I do know he has beat on people .
And gone to jail for it..
Question is does he want to go to jail again ..
I am not going to push ano issue.or go out of my way to step in the middle of it..
She know what choones she has...

What he is doing with me is just more of that abusive nature thing to chase friends away .and isolated there victims even more .so that they think no one cares..
If I walked away I would be helping him....
And I don't think that it all up to me .. it's not ..There are other people.
And other ways for her to get help..
It just fuckING annoying. ...because I am not a violet person..and that I have to imagen my self defending my life in an extreme violent way.. over nothing that I have caused. .Just an moron with an inferiority Com plex ..maybe some daddy issues. . And a small Dick

But then it not that simple..

 

[johnsmit]

Problem is this is not about me. ..it about some one else .. it am out one person taking advantage of another .. that is being bet down.. by Circumstances. . One after another... and I don't know how much more she can take..

The system has failed her.. on many levels..and I know she is tired of trying to get help when it really not there any more..

And yes she is one of those people that this Fucked up government says they want to help ..but have nothing out there to help people .. they just ran out of their 20 million. Or more likely pissed it away .
That how they help women in need.

Call the cop and tell them what .. I think my friend is in an abusive relationship...Being controled and coersed in to prostitution ..and beING pimped ..by some guy that allso seem to be treating me to stay away..
I am not sure how that would go over With the police..

 

[Real Sonny Burnett]

In post #8, you wrote that this person had been to jail for assault. So if you reported him to the authorities, they might take it seriously due to his criminal past.

 

[apl16]

Call the cops and media saying he is abusing a dog. Then they might give a shit!

 

[sybian]

I've been following this thread in silence for some time now, and I understand how some people, if they are not familiar with violence, will shy away from it...and there isn't anything wrong with that.
It seems that you want to help her, and you want to be there for her, and that is an honorable thing, and more people should be like you.
The brutal fact is...Your friend should start the file ....He has a history and conviction of violence, you also claimed he has uttered threats. If some of the threats have been directed towards you, then you've already become involved. If she was to start a file, you could colaberate her story, and in that way help her case...and in turn help protect her.
I'm not unfamiliar with violence, and it does get my blood boiling when a so called "Man", trys to throw his weight around, thinking he is indestructable with bullying tactics, using natural fears ,to put himself in the situation that benefits him.
I deal with real bulls everyday, and it's been my experience that....No matter how big and tough the bull is, he always ends up going through a grinder, just because of what he is.

 

[huggzy]

It sound like she's half your age??

Dude, one of a few things is likely happening here:

1. She's embellishing things to get your sympathy because she knows your an easy touch and will empty your pockets for her, or
2. She's generally retarded emotionally and she will never leave this abusing douchebag

Either way you're best off to turn around and walk away. She's not going to leave him because of anything you say (and she really isn't going to leave him for you if you're half her age.)

 

[johnsmit]

Well she not say to much to me about why happening . But it has been going on for money month.and the time she did say any thing ..It was never about gaining my simpathy . .
It been yrs since I have giving here any amounts of money .these days it was 20 here and there to pay for something ..I dont have it to give.
I dud dive her around a lot .. This so called boy friend . Never wanted to bother..and negated it to me . And then some time was pissed when I did..
.
It a typical Fucked up relationship .that I have found so Maney escort get them selves into ..In her case .she had been turning her life around ..partly due to this relationship ..But he Fucked things up and then got more abusive and bulling ..
Of. course he has never hit her..

But his treats on me or what he say he will do to me is a big part of why she has not got me to involved ..
Yes I am half her age..and know she not interested in me any more then just as a friend ..
And that what she needS. . But more some one who this guy kniw would put him in his place .. I not that person .. I'll defend myself if some one come after me.. and I am confident I'll infect some damage if that happen ..
Win ..no idea.. there would be know winning for him either way ..A 35 yr old 280lb guy going after a 60 yr old .. Yah he would get charged ..

I know she has to make the chooses .. and not be afraid of what he threatens ..because I don't think he will

 

[ddcanz]

If the guy has a record and has been incarcerated then you or your friend need to just call the cops or make a formal complaint. He will be dealt with. if he comes after you he's back in the tank- period.
You sound like a stand-up guy and you're trying to do right by your friend. There seems to be a lot of drama involved here. She's not your girlfriend, your wife or your family, but you have hard choices to make- either step up or step back.
Good luck to you both.

 

[johnsmit]

How do you get help for some one in an abusive relationship .
When they are so beat down afraid ..degraded. and threatened ..that When ypu say "your being a abussed".

They reply " yes but he has not hit me.."... As if that is better to say with what you know .then have no one

The thing is there are other people out there that care for her ..and she has .push them away ..is afraid to ask for help be cause he has threatened to beat on any one that she goes to ....

It go the point he controls her phone .. intercept her calls..and When he wants money he let's her go sell her self .. and then she gives him the money ..

If she tries to work on her own ..He sabotages her adds .. to the point of one time he some how but up an add with her real name and clear. Face pic.


HOW do you save some one from this.

 

[escapefromstress]

HOW do you save some one from this.

Can you get together with some of the people who care about her and hold an intervention?

 

[johnsmit]

No I don't think that is a possibility .
There is no signs of physical abuse. ..and she won't go along with it 5 hen it is us assaulting sone one .

As it stand he is trying to isolate her from her friend .. face book is closed.. he control when she can make money for him .. and he is sipping her with drugs to keep her dependent on him ..
He threatened all the drug dealer a few yrs ago .. cause he know who they are ..

He has basically turned her into his sex slave ..He gets.it or else ..
And he has a few other girls on the side..

You can't imagine .. but this guy has turned in to a pimp sinario..and that is some thing she never would go for yrs ago ..

My choose is the police .and yet I don't if they will get her out if she refuses to go. Or just cause him to escalate the abuse . Buy kind king her put . And no drugs ..

I was so proud of her when she turned her life around 3 ..yrs ago.
And I did my best to make sure she go to doc appointments.. to get her meds. And helped her get to work on time ... and then it all feel apart ..Part due to the bad relationship..and part do to the system failing her ..

It will not be easy getting the cops involved if she does not want it

 

[Tugela]

There isn't much you can do to help if she doesn't want the help. The only thing you can do really is let her know you are there as a friend, but outside of that she is the one who has to decide to get out of the situation. You can't do it for her.