Although I seldom chime in with reviews (never my own thread, just post on other's threads about ladies who aren't well known) this board has been very valuable in learning some things about the hobby. Being that I'm still very new to this, this board as well as one sp who I get along with really well has helped me learn more and faster than I would have otherwise. Better ways to approach a session (getting better service because of it) and the like, and you know what, it's worked.
The other night I ended up having quite a long conversation with a favorite about different topics related to the industry, and I just feel need to discuss them with more people. Maybe it helps some people, maybe it doesn't, maybe some can just get a different pespective (as we know there are tons of reasons people partake and tons of different things people are looking for out of this).
The discussion was along the lines of expectations, a clients participation and energy level, right down to seeing the woman herself as a person and not simply a means to an end. Now I've never been embarrased, felt shame or guilt about paying for companionship or sex. In fact the odd people I discuss it with in my life laugh that it almost sounds like I'm bragging (hey, great times with fantastic women without any drama and all it costs me is some money I would have pissed away on something worthless anyways - what's not to like?). Hearing some of the things the other night, however did make me feel some guilt and shame though.
I've always wondered what it is I can do to be a good client, not good at sex or anything, but someone who when I book the woman will at least think "I can deal with this guy easily" to the best of "sweet, John's gonna come by". You know, things beyond simply being clean, following proceedures, perhaps tipping the ones who're worth it. I dont think I've asked outright how to accomplish this, but through the board and conversations I've figured somethings out and how to have a good time at it as well.
I'm finding if I put expectations on someone to do certain things, behave certain ways and then leave it up solely to them to get this done, without providing enthusiasm or energy myself, I'm going to be disappointed. Not only that it's going to put extra pressure and stress on the woman herself. That's alot ot overcome to having a good session. Personally my preferences to a session are mostly centered around a natural feel to it, that's my thing I guess, so I tend not to focus on having a checklist of service x then y followed up by some z. Besides I can see from her website/reviews what's likely to happen before I even introduce myself, and if I've seen her before I already know; I'm not understanding the need to constantly ask about services before even meeting, just a little harder to have any sort of personal chemistry to a session if it's already started off as a "service orientated" affair.
Maybe it's just me, and what I'm looking for out of this. Meaning I like a natural feel and clicking with someone to an extent moreso than scripted mechanical service orientated bookings. Maybe the more I dabble here the more weight I place on a woman's ability to be gfe as oppose to simply provide gfe services. But I have definitly found that I've gotten some great service (even in this short of time in the hobby) out of, talking to a woman like a person instead of someone just providing a service, realizing they have needs as well - not simply sexual needs, but needs to be made to feel comfortable, at ease, not under pressure to be something they really aren't, for someone to realize that they may be able to make lemonaid out of lemons but cant make water into wine so to speak, dont expect her to be superwoman and be able to handle anything and everything at the drop of a hat, that's she's busy with work even when not with a client and will get back to you eventually have some patience dont add the extra pressure or expect her to treat you like you're the only client that matters, as there are probably alot of other guys doing it as well. I've found bringing my own energy/enthusiasm to a date really helps out a woman be at her best, that a little appreciation (beyond "that feels great" lol) goes a loooong way. I find not having expectations have led me to enjoy some sessions which otherwise I would have been disappointed in as service x didn't happen or whatever; still was able to enjoy other aspects which were new/different.
I dont know, some of the things I heard the other night were hard to listen to. Clients being pushy about services (even when everything is detailed in black and white in webpages/reviews as well as being easy to find), clients not realizing they're dealing with another human not a sex bot which can perform at the flick of a switch, people having attitudes, being needy, confrontational. I've seen some bitter remarks in reviews, and in threads about different things. I cant help but think if you're always having these negative experiences with different providers and the only thing which is the same in each situation is you, then maybe the problem is you.... I've seen alot of remarks about women are this, women are that, then I turn around and hear that men are behaving in the exact same way towards their providers, hypocritical plain and simple and it's very much a sign that some people have no ability to see faults of their own and simply blame others.
I'm also not sure why some hobbyists want some providers who aren't comfortable under certain arrangments with certain services still want to press on. There's a myriad of women out there, some willing some not, why is there a need to find one who isn't willing and get her to conform to your desires. Move on, find one who is and no harm no foul.
A little consideration goes a long way. I told a new provider that I had grabbed a dull blade when shaving my stomach and junk and had some razor burn, was she ok with that. She thought it was sweet to give her some forwarning, when she got me naked she spent a good amount of time kissing my tummy, rubbing it, teasing me about the proper way to shave all while fondling my dick very teasingly. It was nice personalized service that provided a nice buildup, all because I was a little considerate to warn someone about something, which really was relativly minor, it didn't require a script or several requests and it all happened within the flow of things.
I dont know, it was pretty hard the other night to hear some of the behavior the lady in question was experiencing from hobbyists. Made me quite embarrased to be a man and associated with it.
The other night I ended up having quite a long conversation with a favorite about different topics related to the industry, and I just feel need to discuss them with more people. Maybe it helps some people, maybe it doesn't, maybe some can just get a different pespective (as we know there are tons of reasons people partake and tons of different things people are looking for out of this).
The discussion was along the lines of expectations, a clients participation and energy level, right down to seeing the woman herself as a person and not simply a means to an end. Now I've never been embarrased, felt shame or guilt about paying for companionship or sex. In fact the odd people I discuss it with in my life laugh that it almost sounds like I'm bragging (hey, great times with fantastic women without any drama and all it costs me is some money I would have pissed away on something worthless anyways - what's not to like?). Hearing some of the things the other night, however did make me feel some guilt and shame though.
I've always wondered what it is I can do to be a good client, not good at sex or anything, but someone who when I book the woman will at least think "I can deal with this guy easily" to the best of "sweet, John's gonna come by". You know, things beyond simply being clean, following proceedures, perhaps tipping the ones who're worth it. I dont think I've asked outright how to accomplish this, but through the board and conversations I've figured somethings out and how to have a good time at it as well.
I'm finding if I put expectations on someone to do certain things, behave certain ways and then leave it up solely to them to get this done, without providing enthusiasm or energy myself, I'm going to be disappointed. Not only that it's going to put extra pressure and stress on the woman herself. That's alot ot overcome to having a good session. Personally my preferences to a session are mostly centered around a natural feel to it, that's my thing I guess, so I tend not to focus on having a checklist of service x then y followed up by some z. Besides I can see from her website/reviews what's likely to happen before I even introduce myself, and if I've seen her before I already know; I'm not understanding the need to constantly ask about services before even meeting, just a little harder to have any sort of personal chemistry to a session if it's already started off as a "service orientated" affair.
Maybe it's just me, and what I'm looking for out of this. Meaning I like a natural feel and clicking with someone to an extent moreso than scripted mechanical service orientated bookings. Maybe the more I dabble here the more weight I place on a woman's ability to be gfe as oppose to simply provide gfe services. But I have definitly found that I've gotten some great service (even in this short of time in the hobby) out of, talking to a woman like a person instead of someone just providing a service, realizing they have needs as well - not simply sexual needs, but needs to be made to feel comfortable, at ease, not under pressure to be something they really aren't, for someone to realize that they may be able to make lemonaid out of lemons but cant make water into wine so to speak, dont expect her to be superwoman and be able to handle anything and everything at the drop of a hat, that's she's busy with work even when not with a client and will get back to you eventually have some patience dont add the extra pressure or expect her to treat you like you're the only client that matters, as there are probably alot of other guys doing it as well. I've found bringing my own energy/enthusiasm to a date really helps out a woman be at her best, that a little appreciation (beyond "that feels great" lol) goes a loooong way. I find not having expectations have led me to enjoy some sessions which otherwise I would have been disappointed in as service x didn't happen or whatever; still was able to enjoy other aspects which were new/different.
I dont know, some of the things I heard the other night were hard to listen to. Clients being pushy about services (even when everything is detailed in black and white in webpages/reviews as well as being easy to find), clients not realizing they're dealing with another human not a sex bot which can perform at the flick of a switch, people having attitudes, being needy, confrontational. I've seen some bitter remarks in reviews, and in threads about different things. I cant help but think if you're always having these negative experiences with different providers and the only thing which is the same in each situation is you, then maybe the problem is you.... I've seen alot of remarks about women are this, women are that, then I turn around and hear that men are behaving in the exact same way towards their providers, hypocritical plain and simple and it's very much a sign that some people have no ability to see faults of their own and simply blame others.
I'm also not sure why some hobbyists want some providers who aren't comfortable under certain arrangments with certain services still want to press on. There's a myriad of women out there, some willing some not, why is there a need to find one who isn't willing and get her to conform to your desires. Move on, find one who is and no harm no foul.
A little consideration goes a long way. I told a new provider that I had grabbed a dull blade when shaving my stomach and junk and had some razor burn, was she ok with that. She thought it was sweet to give her some forwarning, when she got me naked she spent a good amount of time kissing my tummy, rubbing it, teasing me about the proper way to shave all while fondling my dick very teasingly. It was nice personalized service that provided a nice buildup, all because I was a little considerate to warn someone about something, which really was relativly minor, it didn't require a script or several requests and it all happened within the flow of things.
I dont know, it was pretty hard the other night to hear some of the behavior the lady in question was experiencing from hobbyists. Made me quite embarrased to be a man and associated with it.
