Those are nice pants ... can I test the zipper?

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Hello ladies and gents:

Glad to be back...I will be available this long weekend. Please forward questions to me by email at me@yasminelove.com or contact me at 778-838-9907.

kindest regards,
Yasmine Love
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
A hot looking blonde walks in to a casino and wanders up to one of the craps tables. She looks at the two table handlers and says “I want to bet $25,000 dollars. It’s all the money I have. The only request is that I play topless as I have found that this provides me the most luck at winning.”

The two men agree and watch anxiously as the woman unbuttons her blouse, removes it, and then removes her bra. She puts the money down on the table and rolls the dice. As the dice stop, she starts jumping up and down and screaming, “I WON I WON I WON!” She gathers her winnings puts the chips in her bag, pulls on her shirt and walks out.

The two men at the table look at each other, one asks the other, “So what did she roll?” The other man says, “I thought you where watching?”
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Hello Guys!!

My availability is limited this week. I will be accepting requests for no later than Thursday this week. Advance booking always recommended ......

Thank you :humble:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
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Hi Beautiful people - I will be away for 2 weeks as of today. Please enjoy the remainder of the month of July


Hugs and kisses

Yasmine Love
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Hello ~

I'll be coming back on Tuesday August 2. Feel free to contact me to set up in advance. :behindsofa:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
A guy walks into a bar. Hillary Clinton is the Bartender.
He see a sign over the bar that reads Cheese sandwich $1.50 Hand Job $10.00
He says to Hillary, "Are you the one that gives the Hand jobs?"
Hillary says, "Yes I am!"

He says "Well, wash your hands bitch. I want a cheese sandwich!"

Thanks to the perbite that sent in this joke:hippie:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Hi Guys !! I'm available to meet. Availability upon request
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Exciting news .... Giving my website a makeover. Looking forward to Launching it this month ! Stay tuned ...

Available upon request. Advanced bookings recommended to ensure availability!

Have a great week :thumb:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Three little old ladies are sitting on a park bench feeding the birds. A man comes along and flashes them all. The first two little old ladies have a stroke but the third little lady couldn't quite reach.

Happy Tuesday !!
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Hi guys

I am prebooking for this upcoming weekend. Have a great day :love:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
A lesbian is trying to convince her straight best friend to have sex with her, she says, "but i am straight." So the lesbian replies back, "so is spaghetti, until it gets wet".

Have a great week :bump:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
I wonder if a receptionist has ever used the term, "Thanks
For coming," at a sperm bank. :rapture:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
A man goes to a bar and meets an escort...

... after talking to her for a bit, he asks her, "Alright. Enough talk. How much is it gonna cost me for a handjob?"
"$50," She says.
"$50 for a handjob? You've got to be kidding me!" He replies.
"Come over here," She says. "See that car outside?" She points to the window. He looks out, and sees a brand new sports car.
"Wow, that looks pretty expensive." He says.
"I bought that purely off $50 handjobs." She replies.
The man thinks to himself, "Hell, they must be pretty good." So he gives her $50, and sure enough, best one he's ever had.
He goes back the next night and finds her again. After a few drinks he says, "Alright. That handjob last night was pretty good. How much for a blowjob?"
"$500." She says.
"$500? That's fucking ridiculous." The man replies.
"Come here. See that house on the hill?" she says. So the man comes over, and looks out the window. Outside on the hill, he sees an immaculate mansion. Easily more than 20 rooms.
"Wow, that looks extremely expensive." he says.
"I bought that off of $500 blowjobs." she says.
So following suit, the man gives her $500, and sure enough, it's the best blowjob of his entire life.
On the third night, he returns once more. "Alright," He says. "No more playing around. How much is it gonna cost for some pussy?"
She replies, "Hell, if I had a pussy I'd own this town!"
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip, do you think about me?"

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

_________________________________

Thanks for the PERB member whom sent me all his jokes.
More to come ...
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"

availablility :

tuesday sept 27th from 3 pm to midnight
wednesday sept 28 from 9 am to midnight
thursday sept 29th 3 pm to midnight
friday sept 30th noon to midnight

have a beautiful week :humble:
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Come see my updated website !

http://yasminelove.com

Thursday 9- 11 am and 3 pm to midnight
Friday Noon to midnight
Saturday 10 am to 10 pm

Limited availability - advance booking always recommended
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Kissing under the mistletoe

Jennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl. In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section. 'How much is this gold tinsel garland'.

The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, 'This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre'.

'Wow, that's great', said Jennifer, 'I'll take 12 metres'.

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.

She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, 'My Grandpa will settle the bill.'
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of purity. The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response, until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and all the other bells went off.
 

yasmine

Queen of the Jungle
Feb 11, 2014
296
0
0
Hi guys !!!!!

I was away and am back now. Hope you all are doing great !! My phone has been turned back on and am
Accepting calls and texts. Thank you kindly , Yasmine Love
 
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