This will get me shot, but in my defence it's really well done!

[Massagegirl]

Subject: Things a women can say to a naked man

30 HARSH THINGS A WOMAN CAN SAY TO A NAKED MAN

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahhhh, it's cute.

3. Why don't we just cuddle?

4. You know they have surgery to fix that.

5. Make it dance.

6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?

7. Wow, and your feet are so big.

8. It's OK, we'll work around it.

9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

10. Oh no... a flash headache.

11. (giggle and point)

12. Can I be honest with you?

13. How sweet, you brought incense.

14. This explains your car.

15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

16. Why is God punishing me?

17. At least this won't take long.

18. I never saw one like that before.

19. But it still works, right?

20. It looks so unused.

21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

23. Are you cold?

24. If you get me real drunk first.

25. Is that an optical illusion?

26. What is that?

27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

28. Does it come with an air pump?

29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.

 

[BabyBelle]

*giggles*

 

[Restless]

31. Have you been swimming?

 

[williewheeler]

and furthermore.....

Massagegirl:

What did the elephant say to Adam?

"It's cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

 

[Massagegirl]

Lol, thanks, that's much better than being shot!

Maybe there is a female equivalent to this joke? Anyone?

Personally #1 and #30 are my favorites...

 

[Restless]

32. I nearly choked on a small bone.

 

[DDawGG]

Interesting place to wear it L2L

good hiding spot though

 

[LonelyGhost]

#32: is that a microsoft product?

 

[Massagegirl]

Darn Coco I just got back from the lake! It was nice, but the water's a bit chilly now, didn't stop me though. I will be going this week-end FOR SURE both days, unless it rains! Be in touch!

 

[Massagegirl]

Ok, let me know when you get back!

 

[BlueBells]

33. You know, they make a pill for that...


Thanks Massage, the list gave me a much-needed laugh, I sincerely hope no one shoots you.

 

[Massagegirl]

I just found the complete list at aspd.net, so here it is, some good ones too!

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes. (LMAO)
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

 

[The Lizard King]

Shit... heard 56 of them....might have been 57, one was debatable, but I'm also trying to at least salvage something for the old ego

 

[stryker]

#61
is it in yet????