Things I have noticed lately

[ScottyTwoHotty]

1. Only VERY fat women drive minivans and Firefly's
2. Old beer belly, balding men wear Speedo's to the pool and seem to think they are sexy
3. Chinese will NOT drive a car made in North America
4. Without fail, my dick wakes up before I do, EVERY morning
5. Extremely ugly people always hang with one good looking friend
6. Purchases ALWAYS look better in the store than when you get it home
7. The fast lane is usually the lane thats moving slowest
8. Moderator never posts about how cute I am
9. Television sucks, even during primetime
10. The more you complain, the less people listen
11. The more you listen, the more you feel like complaining
12. If you post a review, its a shill
13. If you don't post, your not contributing
14. If you take a short cut to avoid traffic, you will find construction delays

 

[sdw]

Just some of the little things I have noticed lately:

1. Only VERY fat women drive minivans and Firefly's

1. 
   Why do they insist on wearing leotards or hot pants?
   

   [*]Old beer belly, balding men wear Speedo's to the pool and seem to think they are sexy

   I wear a thong. However despite being fat and old, I have hair. Everywhere.
   

   [*]Chinese will NOT drive a car made in North America

   Chinese think North America is a province of China.
   

   [*]Without fail, my dick wakes up before I do, EVERY morning

   Hmmm, yes, having seen your posts, probably most of the day.
   

   [*]Extremely ugly people always hang with one good looking friend

   That's why I have so many friends. I can make anyone look good.
   

   [*]Purchases ALWAYS look better in the store than when you get it home

   I let them age in the store and check to see if they continue to allure.
   

   [*]The fast lane is usually the lane thats moving slowest

   That's because my wife switched lanes in her firefly. She calls it "being environmentally concious"
   

   [*]Moderator never posts about how cute I am

   Does anyone else?
   

   [*]Television sucks, even during primetime

   Reruns of 20 year old shows. Then, 8 good shows, 8 channels. Now, same 8 shows, 800 channels.
   

   [*]The more you complain, the less people listen

   Huh. Did I hear a whine?
   

   [*]The more you listen, the more you feel like complaining

The trick is to never listen to people like massage lady.

 

[visioneast]

Hahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!