Things guys don't want to have an SP do or say during a session

[rockinbods35]

I have found that in the course of pooning I have come across several mood killers that can seriously affect the outcome or the tone of session and make a ok session go downhill fast. I will share mine, and guys can chime in if they think of any others I have missed. I am doing this so that perhaps the ladies will read this and maybe avoid saying or doing some of these things that can make a difficult situation worse.

1) If I am having trouble getting it up DO NOT ASK IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. ARE YOU NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR ME?-this does not help matters, sometime these things just take time..be patient it usually works itself out. Not to be a jerk, but I am not there to build up your self esteem, so do not put that on me.

2) If I am not getting hard during a BJ- DO NOT POINT OUT THE FACT I AM FLACID- I know that is the case, it's my dick after all, and pointing it out to me only makes me more self conscious about it

3) If I am early into the session DO NOT ASK ME CONSTANTLY IF I HAVE CUM YET- that may be acceptable if our session is drawing to a close but not in the first 5 mins of intercourse. Its annoying and distracting to me and will make me want to prolong the sex now that I know you are probably not going to offer me a second shot.

4) Before, during or after a session-DO NOT HIT ME UP FOR A TIP- This pisses me off more than anything. It is up to me to decide if I want to tip you based on the quality of the experience I had, I do not want to feel coerced or pressured into doing so. No one would enjoy tipping a server at a restaurant if before, during and after they reminded you that you should be providing a gratuity if you had a pleasant dining experience.

5) Before a session begins-DO NOT COUNT THE DONATION IN FRONT OF ME- It implies that I am looking to short change you, or a lack of trust and sets the wrong tone for the session. I understand this is a business transaction, but please be discreet. Count it when I am in the bathroom having a shower, etc. If there is a problem and I miscounted then bring it up to me after I get out of the shower, etc.

6) This one is going to generate some heat and is linked to no.5- DO NOT ASK FOR THE DONATION AS SOON AS I WALK IN THE DOOR- now I know that there is a certain etiquette around these things and no doubt girls have been ripped off in the past and guys have too. It has just been my experience that for the most part those SP's that demand payment upfront are not providing the best service out there.

Those that accept payment after generally offer better service and have a better attitude towards the arrangment than those that do not. Do you pay for your car repairs before you car has been fixed? If you are sitting down for a meal at a restaurant does the server ask for the money upfront? Of course you don't, you pay after you are happy with the service provided.

I find the the girls that accept payment after, work harder to give better service than those that want the money upfront. Once you have my money, you can choose to provide some, none or all of your services to me and say it is a YMMV thing and my mileage wasnt very good. I do realize the reputable ladies will not pull that kind of shit, so they would be the exceptions to the rule.

I can't think of anymore at the moment, if someone does feel free to ad to the list

 

[cjac7214]

Don't call me "Hun".

Ewww....

 

[HappyHarryHardOn]

DIET, SLEEP & EXERCISE ... you may want to speak to your GP

I found that along with a balanced healthy lifestyle, try to incorporate jelqing into your routine. After a two week program, you MAY find you have better blood flow to the penis causing quicker, longer lasting and larger erections and therefore no need to pop the "blue pill"


Here's a good starter program ... Discuss w/your doctor


Attention:

There has been much discussion about the LOT Theory and it's benefit to PE. It seems to be, that the consensus among the veteran PE'rs on these boards are;
The LOT Theory makes no difference in gains.

When I wrote the Newbie Routine, this was the prevailing determining factor in which direction to exercise. The feeling now, is that exercises should be done in all directions, regardless of LOT.


LOT (Loss of Tug).

This is a very important factor in the way you exercise.

Grasp your flacid penis under the glans in the O.K. grip. (Palm down)
Stretch straight up (This is 12:00) Do several hard Kegels. Do you feel it tug back?

(No need to pull too hard, as this can be very noticeable or can be very subtle.)

Stretch straight out (9:00) do several hard Kegels. Do you feel it tug back?

Stretch straight down (6:00) do several hard Kegels. Do you feel it tug back?

When you DON'T feel it TUG BACK, this is your Loss of Tug or LOT.

If your LOT is 6:00, you will need to do your exercises straight out and straight up.

If your LOT is 9:00 or higher, you will do exercises straight out and straight down.

You always want to exercise AGAINST the TUG

Most men find that they have low LOT. Mine is at 6:00. This means that the gains come harder and require more dedication and work to see the gains.

Men with high LOT, are very lucky. Their gains come easier and can utalize weight hanging. But don't be discouraged, the Gains will come if you are dedicated and stay on the program I have outlined below.
These are exercises to help you gain, regardless of LOT


Warming UP.

This is one of the most important things you do to prevent injury:

With a HOT wash cloth, warm your entire groin area for a period of 8 to 10 minutes. Re-heat washcloth every minute or so to keep it hot.

Making sure your penis is wrapped and throughly heated.
You want to feel your penis radiating heat when you are through. You want to warm all the LIG's even the ones under your penis and the sides of your groin area.


If you can, do these exercises in front of a full length mirror.

Grasp your warmed up,FLACID (Try and stay as flacid as you can for these stretching exercises, 30% erection is ideal)PENIS between the thumb and first finger at the base. Palm toward belly. Stretch out slightly and do what are called "Helicopter Shakes." Useing your wrist, swing your penis around in a circle, about 5 revs per second for a quick count of 20.

Grasp your penis under the glans in O.K. grip and stretch to the left. holding the stretch against the theigh.
While holding this stretch, do 25 quick (a quick count to 25) Kegels.
Next, while still holding the stretch, pull straight out and do 10 stretches in a BIG circle to the left and 10 to the right holding the pull.

Return to the base and repeat "Helicopter Shakes". It will be easier to do now, as your flacid length will be longer. This will get the blood back into the glans.

Stretch to the right and do 25 quick Kegels. Pull straight out and do 10 BIG circles to the left and ten circles to the right.

Repeat "Helicopter Shakes."

Stretch straight out, do Kegels, repeat circle stretches.

Repeat "Helicopter Shakes."

Stretch straight up do Kegels and repeat circle stretches.

Finish with "Helicopter Shakes."

These are the basic stretching exercises I want you to do as a prelude to the next step, Wet Jelqing.


WET JELQING:

No need to re-warm as your Ligs will be nice and loose now.

Useing a good lube. (I use a water based lube by the brand name of Suave, with Vit E and Lanolin, found in any drug store)

A couple of squirts of lube in each hand. (Re-lube often when it starts to feel dry) Hint...get a little water on your hands, this re-activates the lube already on the hands and shaft.
Grasp your penis at the base firmly, in the O.K. grip, palms faceing down.
Slide, holding the grip, up to the glans. While holding the grip at the glans, start your other hand at the base. when half way up the shaft, release the grip at the glans and continue the slide up, trapping the blood at the glans and upper shaft. Both hands count as one rep. Repeat these "Wet Jelqs" for a count of 50 reps. If you become erected, stop and wait for it to subside some. You want to be about 60% to 70%* erected for these. Do these slowly. About 3 or 4 seconds per rep. As you become more used to these exercises, it won't feel as much like masturbation and you will not get erected as easily. Do these exercises straight out.
-------"V" JELQS
Next, do what are called "V" Jelqs. These are done by useing the V between your middle and fourth fingers. Cup your hand and slide up the shaft with your fingers curled toward your belly and the underside of your shaft resting in the "V". The fingers should be rideing on the sides of your shaft. Make sure you use lots of lube as you want to slide smoothly for these exercises. When you reach the glans, start your other hand up. These are a great exercise for Head Girth,Overall Girth and Stretching.

As you are sliding up the shaft, pull straight up. Alternate by pulling up and to the right, up and to the left. Do 30 of these reps.

Repeat with 50 "Wet Jelqs" and 30 "V" Jelqs.

Do a total of 150 "Wet Jelqs" and 90 "V" Jelqs.

*Revision.....7/9/04

After further research, I am now recommending: Not Less than 30% and Not More than 60% for all exercises in this routine. I feel (after going back and doing this Newbie Routine for a couple of weeks now, trying to improve upon it.) that 60% to 70% is too erected to acheive the desired results.


Warm Down;

This is VERY important. This will prevent trama injury to your penis.

Do the same as warming up, HOT wash cloth. Warm down for a minimum of 5 to 6 minutes. Do these exercises to start, for 5 days and then, Important, take 2 full days off from PE. This will give your penis a chance to heal and grow, but continue to do your Kegels. Try and do 300 to 500 a day.

As you start to see results, usually girth and flacid length, first, the temptation to go overboard will be great. But, and I stress this, Don't try and jump into some of the advanced routines posted here in this, or other forums. These exercises are designed to start you on your way to a Longer and thicker penis and to PREVENT injury.

As you progress, and master these exercises, usually about a 3 month time period to see length gains, but you will see flacid and some girth gains as early as 3 weeks. If you have any questions, please post in the NEW thread I started in this forum, titled "Newbies Please Sign In." Remember all of your gains are permanent. Good luck to all, in your quest to become a Betterman.
These Supplements are all you will need.

Stay away from Penis Enlargement Pills. These are a waste of money.

Take these every day for the duration of this program. Then decide if you want to continue with these supplements.*

1 Super B complex.
1 Multi Vitamin & Minerals.
1 60 mg Zinc.
2 500mg L-Arginine capsule.
1 500 mg L-Lysine.


REVISED:

To avoid build-up in fatty tissue, of some of the vitamins such as "A", decrease all these supplements to a 5 day on 2 day off routine. Your body will sluff-off any build-up in this period.

 

[*emmanuelle]

DO NOT COUNT THE DONATION IN FRONT OF ME Count it when I am in the bathroom having a shower, etc. If there is a problem and I miscounted then bring it up to me after I get out of the shower, etc.

Out of curiosity though, what would be your reaction if you were sure you had given her the right amount, but when you got out of the shower, she said you were short 50 bucks? Would you just automatically give her the benefit of the doubt and pull out another 50? It sounds like things could get kind of iffy, no?

It's in your best interest to have her quickly and discretely count the money in front of you. If she realises later that you accidentally short changed her, your appointment can technically be considered sexual assault (because sex for money is legal here)

It's only a quick 3 seconds of awkwardness, then you are both feeling at ease and ready for play!

 

[grusse]

do not answer ur phone

do not have a roommate knock on the door to get a condom

do not leave the room to get something...have everything ready before the session

do not fake moan,nor say "oh yes,baby,so good" etc(I had one sp say this while I was less-than-rigid trying entry,lol

I don't mind the cash upfront if its my 1st visit,and I actually give the donation by counting out the 20's,both sides know how much
has changed hands

 

[george.caruthers]

"We don't need that, I can't get pregnant" Oh yes she did say that! :faint:

 

[HappyHarryHardOn]

"We don't need that, I can't get pregnant" Oh yes she did say that! :faint:

1. when they feel the "need" to explain that this is just a business transaction, and if by chance on another occasion we happen to "bump" into them on the street, that we should not acknowledge them in a civilian setting; as if we don't already know that, after all ladies, WE called you. Pretty sure most of the clients know that this is just business.

2. or how about when you get an inexperienced sp and she starts talking smack for no reason. Had this one girl tell me during a session in a sarcastic tone that she was a virgin. What was that supposed to do make me feel like I was her first?

3. don't wanna hear about your reasons why you are an sp, your background and family problems, or how long you've been doing it, I really don't care (don't mean to come off as sounding callous, but clearly we're NOT friends, we're conducting business so please maintain your professionalism)

4. or in the middle of session, I don't wanna hear YOUR description of what YOU find attractive in a man, the session is not about you, it's about me

 

[Dgodus]

Out of curiosity though, what would be your reaction if you were sure you had given her the right amount, but when you got out of the shower, she said you were short 50 bucks? Would you just automatically give her the benefit of the doubt and pull out another 50? It sounds like things could get kind of iffy, no?

It's in your best interest to have her quickly and discretely count the money in front of you. If she realises later that you accidentally short changed her, your appointment can technically be considered sexual assault (because sex for money is legal here)

It's only a quick 3 seconds of awkwardness, then you are both feeling at ease and ready for play!

Never had a woman count it in front of me, pretty much all been veterens in the business too. Very doubtful a recognizable/reputable sp would claim you shortchanged her when you really didn't as there is a chance the pooner is a board member somewhere and would make note of it in a review. That extra 50 bucks could cost alot of business down the road.

 

[overdone]

If she realises later that you accidentally short changed her, your appointment can technically be considered sexual assault (because sex for money is legal here)

Wouldn't it technically be fraud for shorting her? A civil matter probably, for not paying for services rendered?

the guy shorting her isn't assault, wouldn't he have to not pay and make it clear up front that he isn't and then force her to go thru with the act?

It's low, classless and despicable, but I find it hard to believe it would lead to a conviction of sexual assault?

wannabe lawyers? well?

 

[*emmanuelle]

Wouldn't it technically be fraud for shorting her? A civil matter probably, for not paying for services rendered?

the guy shorting her isn't assault, wouldn't he have to not pay and make it clear up front that he isn't and then force her to go thru with the act?

It's low, classless and despicable, but I find it hard to believe it would lead to a conviction of sexual assault?

wannabe lawyers? well?

I asked this guy about it, he told me yes, it is in fact sexual assault. http://web.uvic.ca/philosophy/people/kluge/index.php

I could easily be wrong though. I mean, the law if a matter of interpretation and I've never heard of a case like this go to court. Plus Dr. Kluge is a little bit crazy.

When it has happened to me (after the fact) I told the client and he brought extra funds the next time.

 

[Dgodus]

Do clients expect SP's to have change if they don't have the exact donation and don't want to tip?

Do ladies keep small bills on hand to make change?

Is it improper to hand over the bills and ask for $5 or $10 change back?

lol I'd feel like such a cheap dope asking for 20 bucks back on nearly a 600-1000 dollar, um, purchase.

Of all the points made which are very very true, I find point number 6 to be the most important one. It has come to the point, and I'm going to lay it out there, I'm really tempted to simply walk out on any girl that demands money upfront from now on. It has nothing to do with ripping anyone off, it has nothing to do with deliberately trying to waste anyone's time. The most memorable and enjoyable sessions where chemistry was great - it has ALWAYS been pay after. When a lady sort of hints/demands/expects money upfront, it signifies to me - we don't have the chemistry, you don't trust me enough, and sure enough - 9 times out of 10, the pay before sessions were poor to mediocre at best. I used to be the guy that showed up, left the donation on the drawer, and hit the shower. I've never short-changed anyone, I've never forgotten to pay, and if the donation is an uneven amount I ALWAYS round up, never down if I don't have the exact donation. ie) $280 in 20's if the donation is $270 and I have no 50's.

This one thing alone tells me all I need to know about how the session will play out. Call it my gut instincts and my intuition.

If you have the attitude from the get go that it wont be a good session, you're bound to have a self fullfilling prophecy and no the session wont be good. I'm not one to look for "hidden gems" or try out lesser known providers, but all the session I've had were "have your donation ready at the beginning". No woman has ever told me or hinted at it (like you said, I just drop it off first thing into the room), and I've seen 9 different women over the past year, only 1 of those fell into the poor category, maybe 1 into avg the rest were either exactly what I was looking for or absolutly stellar. I'm certain some I've seen multiple times aren't concerned with when the donation is laid out (hehe one woman threw it out as I had left the envolope in the wine bag!) as they know I'm going to pay them, but frankly at that point I'm not concerned when the donation is laid out either because I know they're going to rock my world. I suppose if you're seeing providers that are more into having repeat business (thus their reputation is important to them) then they're going to give their full effort regardless, may as well give them that extra bit of comfort knowing you paid.

Besides if you do have a "pay after" are you going to say I'm only giving you 200 as that wasn't worth 280 to me? Cant go to a pub and go to take care of the tab after saying "food wasn't as good as I wanted, drinks didn't get me as drunk as I wanted, atmosphere wasn't as good as I wanted, I'm only paying 80% of my tab". Or is this something that has just become a "matter of principle" (hey I can understand that, but really the logic isn't totally there to warrant it being that big a deal otherwise)

 

[Frank Dux]

I personally don't mind if an SP counts the money in front of me. I mean, I'm paying for sex, I made the appointment and brought the envelope. And who the hell am I hiding it from once I've walked in the door? Please count my money, it saves me from being embarrassed later if I was too stupid to count properly. And, like Emmanuelle wrote, there are no questions if the donation is short. Once you have seen someone a couple times I can understand not needing to count the bills right away, but I can totally understand an SP protecting herself when seeing new clients.

One thing I don't like SPs doing is being too over-the-top in their "theatricality". I understand there's a degree of performance needed to make a guy feel special, but unless there's been a request for porno-style action (or it's your specialty) there's no need for goofy dirty talk. I'd rather get a lady off legit on our third meeting because she's let me know what she likes and we have good chemistry than to hear "Oh baby, your cock is so huge!" for the tenth time.

 

[the old maxx50]

These are some iof the reason I stay with seeing girls that i have seen before .. and more i see them the less i feel it is about business .. I never had a problem paying before .. even with a new girl i all way payed more then the fee posted . i have a limit witch i think is reasonable .. it is usually between $250 and $300 ,I know it kind stops at the low end of the Vancouver girls ..But I am in Victoria .. If ever go to Van to see some one . i will adjust accordingly .
With the those i see these day I may say at the beginning what i am paying , But they still wait for me to pay at the end .. Some time i will just pay more then what I said Most are friend and i have payed for stuff socially many times .. it i not just about money , if i have it then it gets spent..

When it come it to some one saying the wrong thing while having sex well that can happen with the best of friends LOL If you can't get hard . i am sure a women will say something .. best thing is to man up and talk about it or find that happy place .. some time you just have to say well it ain't going to happen ..I have done it and still have to admit some time that i am not going to cum no matter how long a beat the meat .

I like a girl to talk a little dirty if they want to , but don't put it on to thick.. Faking orgasms is an no no .. I like some vocal , if it is making you feel good .. and I live to here and feel a woman having an organism .. But if i am not doing it for them .. i want to here .. or i will ask ..I don.t expect them to be in the mood for sex just because i am ,I can be a little different with the girls i see these days .. because it is not a regular client thing .. But I had the same attitude when i did see any other escort... Of course if we don't hit it off i won't see them again ..

 

[Sleepmonger]

I've not yet had a good session from a girl who asked for the donation at, or anywhere near, the door. So, nowadays if it's brought up within minutes of meeting I feel a bit concerned.

The two times that I did end up paying after, were also two of the best encounters I've ever had, but I don’t feel this was a result of paying after. I think the paying after was actually a result of the good encounter.

That said, In both of those encounters I wished afterward that I had paid in advance. One time, we both completely forgot about the donation until I was already back at my car. She had to buzz me back in, and I had to count out and hand the money to her at the door. It was awkward and embarrassing and totally killed the glow I had going from the proceeding events. The other time the girl never noticed me put the envelope on the table and asked for it as I was leaving. Of course there's nothing wrong with that, the girl has to make sure she gets paid, and she waited until the very last minute to ask, but it still made me feel awkward and killed the mood I was in.

Thus, I prefer to pay before the session, with a pre-counted amount in an envelope, placed on a counter, in plain sight. I also don't get offended when asked for it if the girl hasn’t seen it by the time I get out of the shower. I don’t even mind being asked as I'm heading to the shower, but please don’t ask the minute we meet.

I do feel a bit awkward if someone counts it while I’m watching, but with a new SP the first few moments are a little awkward anyways. So it doesn’t really change much.

I don’t mind girls that make noise naturally, but I’m not big on theatrics. Faking an orgasm is actually a pretty big turn off.

 

[Dgodus]

What part of "I've never short-changed anyone" did you fail to observe?.

I didn't fail to observe, the question was more a reinforcement that you wont be shortchanging anyone (I've read enough of your posts to know you're sensible). The fact is on nearly every etiquette page of a woman's website it states "have the donation ready and please dont make me ask for it". If someone lays out rules, and you dont follow them; then yes they're going to be put off about it (and consequently you'll notice that "off" feeling, because frankly they may be a little irked about you not following their instructions). Again it's self fulfilling sometimes, I'm sure there is solid basis for your opinion, but even without alot of pooning experience, if a person/business sets ground rules/instructions/guidelines for dealing with them which are then not followed, customer service will lack (more often than not actually). It's like trying to get out of a fine with a cop, if you tell them how it is you're most likely going to get a ticket. Patronize them, play along, jump through those hoops and you've got a chance of getting out of it. Yes I always leave my donation as soon as I walk in the door (basically empty my pockets, envolope, bottled water/juice, etc) but with the provider I see most often she doesn't look for it till after (like I said, she even threw it in the garbage once), so it's no different than paying after (as far as she's concerned she got paid at the end) - service has always been the same. Anyways just saying, not following rules and trying to impose your own will cause bad service just as much as it will predict it (which again, is across the board for more than just pooning). I've nothing else to add on the matter.

oh and if I was asked for it right when I stepped into the door, that's an entirely different ballgame. That's like walking into the house and having the SO immediatly start talking you ear off. As Chris Rock says "let me get my coat off, let me breath, let me TAKE A SHIT"

One thing I don't like SPs doing is being too over-the-top in their "theatricality".

Figure I should maybe add something to the thread instead of just counterpoint things. This I agree with but to a slightly different extent. Dont lay it on too thick with the compliments. Yea I do like the odd compliment, it does feel nice, but I'm not really there for a full on ego stroke. Dont tell me "I'm so good" at everything I'm doing (and saying it repeatedly). Less is more (well in my case anyways), and bonus points if you can compliment things that I've heard from civilians before (makes it infinitally more believable). I'm not commenting about someone being loud, vocal, or active (god I love that) just dont purposefully try and stroke my ego with saying nice things about myself or what I'm doing.

I know some fellas like to be specific about how their sessions go and what takes place in them. Some of us dont care beyond "there will be plenty of forplay, then plenty of sex" so if you ask what I want to do, or what position I want etc and I say "doesn't matter, pick your preference" - I do mean it. Some of us like a natural feel/flow to a session and dont enjoy so much the activities in and of themselves but the enthusiasm/energy behind said activities. So when I say "pick your poison" I just want you to do things you know you're quite comfortable with maybe even prefer (heck even things you think you're really good at, which if I was forced to make a decision I might not go for), which in turn is going to make things better for myself (the energy just seems better anyways). So dont do something just because you think its what I want, if you're doing something with enthusiasm and energy I'm going to like it.

Dont tell jokes or try and keep up a conversation while I'm fucking you k thanks.

 

[joho]

That is so awesome. LMAO

Gave a lady an envelope and jumped into the shower. She knocked on the door and came in an said that I might have made a mistake. Apparently I gave her the envelope with my gas bill.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

I've had enough experience to round them all up and noticed a very sizable trend - the pay after girls were ALWAYS the best.

I've not yet had a good session from a girl who asked for the donation at, or anywhere near, the door.

the two foregoing statements exactly mirror my experiences

and like sleepmonger, i experienced a session where in our post-sex langour i forgot to leave the donation and the escort forgot to ask for it. that afternoon i got a call from her and we arranged that i drop it off to her where she worked! it turned out her regular gig was being a travel agent, so it was not at all unusual for her to be meeting clients and for them to be leaving envelopes for her... and did she ever look sexy dressed up like a regular chick doing a regular job. i mentioned her civilian sexiness to her, and she looked up and winked and said, 'not here tiger, but next time...'

 

[shyboy123]

Don't call me "Hun".

Yeah have to agree. I don't know anyone that likes that.

 

[visiting]

Yeah have to agree. I don't know anyone that likes that.

I sorta like the name calling...

But it's funny how the delivery can be different from one lady to another.... a sexy voice can call me anything, :nod:

 

[Dgodus]

You'd never wanna hear an SP say this.....

"I just had a tag team session with InTheBum and LAG...." :fear:

This is why I always have enough Saran wrap to cover myself from head to toe.

And what's the deal with "Hun". I've always called gf's hun, hmmm might explain a few things. I suppose I do find "dear" to be abit condescending and patronizing.