The Process of "Natural Selection"....

[cruiser]

A lot of us have our reasons for pooning....but one that I've been thinking about is regarding the "process of natural selection". Let me elaborate..

There are those of us in society who are born with good looks (either male or female)...we have the right looks that people want...perhaps if we're male, we have the right physique...have the right amount of hair...aren't overweight...and a nice smile to top it off. If we're female, we have a nice body, nice smile and a warm personality.

In saying that, I believe that it's not an unfair statement that the good looking people in society will find it a much easier time to find a "mate" then those of us who aren't born with the "best or most desired" features. Those of us who are "left over", have to look for other ways to find satisfaction (i.e., pooning for one).

Why does it happen that if a good looking person walks in a bar (for example), that they will attract all the attention (but perhaps they don't have anything to offer), whereas a guy standing off to the side who doesn't have the most "desired" features physically (and everything else going for him personally), won't get any attention?

Personally, I'm tired of hearing "you just haven't met the right one yet"....or "she hasn't found you yet". How about if there is no one for me and I'm supposed to be single. (not something I'm hoping to be the answer!).

I believe that a person should like someone for who they are, but a person gets tired when society ignores you totally on your physical appearance and doesn't look beyond that for what else the person might have to offer.

Feedback...........

 

[87112]

I've seen people who are not the least bit attractive find mates. How? They dont shoot for the moon and realize if I'm triple a and not major league why not find the same as me. Often we go in and instantly forget finding someone who is equal but instead have the heart's desire on an upgrade or 2. I'm the same, I consider myself average but have dreams of marrying Asian Airline flight attendant beauty. The chances are nil to none unless I pick up my game and money to the 1000th degree.

 

[Ray]

Most guys who want women to judge them for who they are, rather than the lack of physical appearance, tend to hit on the hot chicks.

 

[apple juice]

Why does it happen that if a good looking person walks in a bar (for example), that they will attract all the attention (but perhaps they don't have anything to offer), whereas a guy standing off to the side who doesn't have the most "desired" features physically (and everything else going for him personally), won't get any attention?

That's funny that you mention it...it's always the opposite reaction for me. I may see a hot man walking into the bar...take a quick glimpse but nothing more...because like you said...he will attract all the attention...and do I really want to compete with everyone for one man's attention...not really...not ever. It's the man in the dark corner that will peak my interest...a man so self-contained...so mysterious that will stir my imagination...and capture all my attention.

 

[georgebushmoron]

In saying that, I believe that it's not an unfair statement that the good looking people in society will find it a much easier time to find a "mate" then those of us who aren't born with the "best or most desired" features. Those of us who are "left over", have to look for other ways to find satisfaction (i.e., pooning for one).

Why does it happen that if a good looking person walks in a bar (for example), that they will attract all the attention (but perhaps they don't have anything to offer), whereas a guy standing off to the side who doesn't have the most "desired" features physically (and everything else going for him personally), won't get any attention?

Did you know you prefaced your question in the 2nd paragraph by stating the answer in the 1st paragraph? I'll bet you didn't even realize you knew you answered yourself!

I'm not one who usually garners much attention when I walk into a bar, or any other place for that matter. Only once in my entire life did a woman approach me on the street to say she was attracted to me. Other times if there was any attraction at all, they would hide it (but I figured it out). For lack of physical attraction that some of my male friends have (ie: they're 6 feet tall, and dark, and handsome, and broad shouldered), I've had to compete and consequently I've learned to read women I meet. Luckily I was born with some intelligence and skill. What I counted upon as well was that women typically do not look upon physicality as the main source of attraction unlike men.

Many years ago I found myself heartbroken over a major loss at the time. She was incredibly physically beautiful, and highly sought after by most men. For whatever reason she decided to go with me, it was only to last a year before she dumped me. This was all before I learned about the nature of females and how they function in the world, and how they see men. So even though I was not attractive, not knowledgeable, and not skilled, she still decided to make me her boyfriend, so I considered myself super lucky to have been with her. And when it was over, I was devastated. That was a real life lesson. I sought to understand what happened, and recover as quickly as possible, and then learn how to land another one like her. I read voraciously, many different books. I read self-help books. I read about women's lives. In particular I recall one book, "Unfinished Business", short stories of women's lives in different ages about their trials and tribulations. I also read fiction from a woman's point of view. In short, I studied women. I learned how they usually saw men, what their struggles were, what things they responded to, what ways of talking engaged them, what vibes they needed to feel from men to get to the next level, what made them fearful of men, what made them want to get closer to men, what were the main motivations at certain ages of their lives, how they compete against other women, what their pecking order is among other females, etc. Then I put my study to practice: I went to places where women tended to go. I joined book clubs, took some dance lessons, hung out at "artsy" places, did the dating thing over the internet, etc. Since that time, I've dated 13 more women in long term relationships. I can not say that I've dated super models, but I never considered the women I've dated since that time below average in looks - in fact, roughly half of them were considered very attractive and the rest above average. I'd say luckily you are a man trying to find a way to attract a woman and not the other way around. Women have far less tools at their disposal in attracting a man - simply because we men tend to focus mostly on physical beauty whereas women do not have that specialized focus.

Personally, I'm tired of hearing "you just haven't met the right one yet"....or "she hasn't found you yet". How about if there is no one for me and I'm supposed to be single. (not something I'm hoping to be the answer!).

It is very possible that some people will never find anyone. Finding the right person has a lot to do with being humble, being able to give of yourself, understanding the other person and sympathizing with them, and they likewise to you. Those who believe they can be fat and lazy, not put effort into their relationships, etc., would probably not find someone or if they do, will lose them, or will find someone who is also fat and lazy and does not put effort into the relationship either. If you are tired of hearing "she hasn't found you yet", then you should ask yourself the question: "am I sitting here waiting for her to come along?". If you are, it's not going to happen. Women in general will not come along to pick you up. They're expecting to be in your position, not the other way around.

I believe that a person should like someone for who they are, but a person gets tired when society ignores you totally on your physical appearance and doesn't look beyond that for what else the person might have to offer.

It's nice that you have an opinion on how the world should operate, but don't stake your life on it. It would be wiser for you to open your eyes and see what's really going on in the world and adapt, and adapt quickly.

 

[cruiser]

Very impressed GeorgeB.....

You do raise some good points...and then taking it to a new depth.....viewing the whole "relationship" aspect using psychology does help...

I was always "lead" to believe that a person shouldn't have to work at creating a relationship....what about being polite, friendly and being yourself...and letting fate intervene and you walking past her in a grocery store and she catches your eye.

If need be, I have no problems doing research......I know what I want from various aspects of a persons personality, mannerisms, etc to what I will or will not accept in looks, etc...I'm not fussy as I've dated slim to medium size women. I have one friend that would never look at woman who was over a size 5 (literally)...no matter if the curvy one was hot....she was to big for him. I'm not that way and do have my eyes open......

Is it fair to say that with the development of the internet, along with society becoming very selective, etc., that we need to take these extra steps to ensure our happiness?

I see that it has helped you George...how about other opinions from the viewing public??

 

[MissSunisa]

Many years ago I found myself heartbroken over a major loss at the time. She was incredibly physically beautiful, and highly sought after by most men. For whatever reason she decided to go with me, it was only to last a year before she dumped me. This was all before I learned about the nature of females and how they function in the world, and how they see men. So even though I was not attractive, not knowledgeable, and not skilled, she still decided to make me her boyfriend, so I considered myself super lucky to have been with her. And when it was over, I was devastated. That was a real life lesson. I sought to understand what happened, and recover as quickly as possible, and then learn how to land another one like her. I read voraciously, many different books. I read self-help books. I read about women's lives. In particular I recall one book, "Unfinished Business", short stories of women's lives in different ages about their trials and tribulations. I also read fiction from a woman's point of view. In short, I studied women. I learned how they usually saw men, what their struggles were, what things they responded to, what ways of talking engaged them, what vibes they needed to feel from men to get to the next level, what made them fearful of men, what made them want to get closer to men, what were the main motivations at certain ages of their lives, how they compete against other women, what their pecking order is among other females, etc. Then I put my study to practice: I went to places where women tended to go. I joined book clubs, took some dance lessons, hung out at "artsy" places, did the dating thing over the internet, etc. Since that time, I've dated 13 more women in long term relationships. I can not say that I've dated super models, but I never considered the women I've dated since that time below average in looks - in fact, roughly half of them were considered very attractive and the rest above average. I'd say luckily you are a man trying to find a way to attract a woman and not the other way around. Women have far less tools at their disposal in attracting a man - simply because we men tend to focus mostly on physical beauty whereas women do not have that specialized focus.

What an interesting topic -- and great response above. A man who studies women, who understands our nature -- that’s a very attractive characteristic that’s beyond the physical (and mainly, because not many men have this curiosity.)

Sometimes reality is hard to absorb. I used to have similar feelings. Most men only approach me because of my appearance, a cute busty girl. It always made me feel like my personality and intellect had no importance. As well, being in this industry gives me a stereotype of having only my body and nothing else to offer. You have to realize that not everyone is superficial. Don't give up, but don't anticipate an ideal relationship either.

I can say a club is not a great place to meet people if you’re looking for something beyond the exterior.

 

[BC_Boy]

contrary to popular belief, its not looks or money that makes women attracted to a man. its his personality, level of masculinity, body language, communication & such.

Brad Pitt is often regarded as the most desired man....but despite his good looks....he always plays characters that are inherently attractive (Tyler Durden, Rusty Ryan)

 

[BigBlue]

...I learned how they usually saw men, what their struggles were, what things they responded to, what ways of talking engaged them, what vibes they needed to feel from men to get to the next level, what made them fearful of men, what made them want to get closer to men, what were the main motivations at certain ages of their lives, how they compete against other women, what their pecking order is among other females, etc....

OK, I'm hooked. I know it opens a whole can of worms, but can you elaborate? Any or all of the above.

 

[apple juice]

MR. George...

I admire your dedication to wanting to understand us women...so complex...yet so simple...lol...regardless of looks. You mentioned you read self-help books and all that other stuff...good for you for doing your research...that always helps. I also find that observing people also helps too.

 

[no3]

As "advanced" we are as a species from the other species that we share this world with, we still react primarily from the input we receive from our senses ie. Taste - mmmmm chocolate
Sound - chocolate wrapper being unwrapped
Smell - mmmmm chocolate
Feel - I think you get the picture

Anyways, the "good looking" guy/gal who walks into the bar will ALWAYS get the initial attention mostly because of their looks (see above) but also partly because of how they carry themselves (confidence). They will even get laid quicker because of this. Having said all of that, we also have a brain that says if the guy/gal has an a-hole for a personality, you can usually guartantee that they will be seen at the same bar again and again because they cannot find the right partner for a long term committment (unless the guy is lucky enough to find a woman with an over inflated Florence Nightengale syndrome...but that's another story).

So to summarize - Looks + personality = great..........Personality + average/below average looks = good (unless they play in a band - then great)..........Looks + no personality = one night stand............No looks + no personality = a call to your local escort

 

[LonelyGhost]

this is why i love escorts ... wish i had discovered them sooner
and saved myself YEARS of misery ...

i have no idea what women want and even after talking to some
for ages, they stand up and go after the exact opposite of what
they just described ...

and even if you meet one who likes you, her first goal will be to
change you ... dump your friends, change your clothes, find you a
better job and then complain that you're not the same man she
loved when you two met!

and god forbid you don't change ... then you're not growing and
she has 'left you behind' ...

and even if you manage to change but stay the same, then its not
you, its her, and she needs to 'find herself' or a new career ...

and even if you support all that, she will have an affair because,
its not about sex, it was just something that happened, unless it
happened to you and then its a betrayal of everything your
relationship ever stood for.

so, its just gonna be me, the cats, the local pizza place, peace and
quiet and the occasional escort who might or might not appreciate
me beyond my monetary value ...

 

[COLONEL ANGUS]

hallelujah

this is why i love escorts ... wish i had discovered them sooner
and saved myself YEARS of misery ......

so, its just gonna be me, the cats, the local pizza place, peace and
quiet and the occasional escort who might or might not appreciate
me beyond my monetary value ...

My sentiments exactly... I am opting out for early retirement in a few years,
learn portugese, sell the house, find a place in one of the more obscure coastal
towns of Brazil and kick back. Hire one of the local women to come in
once a week to keep the place clean or just to keep me entertained when I get bored.

 

[wannaliquorbox]

give up, give up now. lonely ghost's handle says it all, except for the pizza. expend your energy elsewhere - work, sports, movies, weekly entertainment - at least that how it has been working for me.

 

[Sir_frixalot]

I am not selling this, but I have studied it - A book called "Double Your Dating" - it's how you BEHAVE that attracts women. Looks are very subjective, so how do you know if she likes your looks? She's NOT going to tell you. But if she will talk to you, you look OK. The guy has to take the risk and speak first - that's the game... she's looking for that trait to potentially pass on to her babies, without even knowing it. Whether she ever has any or not, if she is not attracted to you, you are pissing up a rope.

SOME guys naturally act the 'right' way, and are successful with women, most of us, however, leave it to luck... never really figure it out...

The techniques in this book are difficult to master, I have to admit. It will take a lot of work and practice, but from what I have seen (there are dvd's too) it is not just BS like 99% of the 'experts' that think they have it all figured out. Before you throw in the towel, look at some of this stuff...

 

[BC_Boy]

I am not selling this, but I have studied it - A book called "Double Your Dating" - it's how you BEHAVE that attracts women. Looks are very subjective, so how do you know if she likes your looks? She's NOT going to tell you. But if she will talk to you, you look OK. The guy has to take the risk and speak first - that's the game... she's looking for that trait to potentially pass on to her babies, without even knowing it. Whether she ever has any or not, if she is not attracted to you, you are pissing up a rope.

SOME guys naturally act the 'right' way, and are successful with women, most of us, however, leave it to luck... never really figure it out...

The techniques in this book are difficult to master, I have to admit. It will take a lot of work and practice, but from what I have seen (there are dvd's too) it is not just BS like 99% of the 'experts' that think they have it all figured out. Before you throw in the towel, look at some of this stuff...

to add on to thise, we did not become the dominant species on this planet merely because good-looking guys mated with good-looking girls

 

[mick_eight]

For 99 percent of mans time on earth, it was about toughness, who was the alpha male and on down the line, looks didn't have a lot to do with it. The best looking female went with the strongest and more important, the tough ones picked the females they wanted and the females went along. Because before money, ladies went for protection from the badness of pandora's box.

 

[2tall66]

been there

Not wanting to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, having grown up with a speech impediment and been bullied and ridiculed for it for years did not do wonders for my social life. For years I was extremely withdrawn and self-conscience about how girls would take me after I started conversing with them. they always seemed to lose interest soon afterwards not seeming to want to take the time to get know me for who i was as a whole. To me it seemed like they were only interested in outward appearances. It got to the point where i dreaded going out with friends in fear that they would try to fix me up. not sure if this is even relevant to this post but just wanted to add my 2 cents.

 

[belair]

Wow, that's deep

to add on to thise, we did not become the dominant species on this planet merely because good-looking guys mated with good-looking girls

You mean the human species I presume?

 

[wannaliquorbox]

saw it on my favourite weekend show, national geographics, or was it nature...some female birds, though supposedly mate for life with good providers, would have 'affairs' with better looking males in hope of getting impregnated with better genes for their offsprings. the poor suckers, i mean providers, sometimes raise whole families of chicks that arent even related to them.