The Pope Goes Driving

[BDAClub]

After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.”

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never

gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pope floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

" Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and

gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the f*****g Pope as a chauffeur!!"

 

[stryker]

HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA,,ROTFL,,,,HAHAHHAHHA
,,,GOOD ONE BDA!!!!

 

[Morrigan]

Nice one. I needed a good joke!

 

[Beldar Conehead]

Buddy's Good Deed

It past midnight and Buddy is getting ready to go to bed, putting on the christmas thong......for the wife. Suddenly there is a knock at the door.

Wife: "Buddy? Aren't you gonna get the door?"

Buddy: "Nope."

Wife: "Come on, it's christmas.....I'll make it worth your while....you stud you."

Buddy: "Okay, okay."

Buddy puts on some sweats, heads downstairs and opens the door. Sees there is a drunk standing on the stoop swaying back and forth.

"What do you want?" says Buddy in a nasty tone.

"I need a push" says the drunk in a slurred voice.

"Fuck-off says Buddy", then he slams the door and heads back upstairs.

Wife: "Who was it dear?"

Buddy: "Some drunk who wanted a push."

Wife: "Did you give him one?"

Buddy: "Hell no!"

The wife crosses her arms and gives Buddy a nasty look.

Wife: "Shame on you, remember last week when you needed a push and Ken and Charlie dropped what they were doing and came over to help."

Buddy: "Yah but...."

Wife: "No buts Buddy, it's christmas, go down stairs and help that fellow."

Buddy: "Okay, okay."

Buddy heads back downstairs opens the front door but the drunk is gone, he looks around but is dark and he can't see anything. He calls out to the drunk.

Buddy: "Hey fella you still here."

From the distance he hears the drunk.

Drunk: "Yah" ( in slurred speech )

Buddy: "You still need a push. "

Drunk: ( again is slurred speech ) "Yah"

Buddy: "It's dark, I can't see you. Where are you?"

Drunk: "Over here......on the swing...."

 

[BDAClub]

LMAO that's hilarious