the hypocrisy of escorts and dating sites

[BallzDeep]

this is just a quick rant i suppose. im sure ill get a few face palms and dont care really.

let me preface with :

1) im all for escorts doing their thing (work)
2) im all for escorts wanting to find love and long lasting relationships (dating)

but... what i cant fathom is how escorts on dating sites all say "must not be looking for intimate encounters" or some such, when any chump with enough change in his pockets can sleep with you, for a price.

im not interested in getting involved in their personal lives dont care honestly, and i wouldnt msg one saying "hey i know you" obviously discretion goes both ways, but how can a hooker say no to intimate encounters when thats the very thing they do for work? stumps me. and bogus really. but i guess everyone lies...

 

[BallzDeep]

i think youre missing the point i was making. sure, theres free will involved, sure escorts like certain guys more than others, and hell maybe even some like the agressive sarging nature of the joe45's of the world that cant find the right hole or know how to stick it in.

its still hypocritical though in nature. if youre an escort, then by definition you are open to intimate encounters. the fact she charges for it is sort of irrelevant. so why lie about it? best course of action imo is to just leave that line out altogether.

conversely id probably be a tad upset if i gave up pooning to date a girl only to find out shes an escort later.
and how many guys, seriously now, pooners at that, would put up "must not be looking for intimate encounters" on their profiles? LOL thatd be the day.

 

[BallzDeep]

I've said this a million times and I'll keep repeating it. Escort are people with heart and souls...Period!!

Outside this board or industry, they can choose whatever they choose to do and live the way they want to live....like any one of us .

If they are on dating sites .......kudos to them :clap2:. Just another set of their own rules they'll go by :thumb:,

I can only speak of myself on this.....but like me, being a guy, I would think that, they to, would like to leave this industry and try and find someone at some point and live a normal life. Just saying.

yes, as i mentioned in my preface im all for it. were all looking for love and long lasting relationships like most people at some point in our lives.

the issue isnt escorts nor pooners for that matter on dating sites. im ALL for it.

i just dont see the need for an escort to tag on "must not be looking for an intimate encounter", some things are just better left unsaid, and this is one of those things. ignorance is bliss.

 

[jw90]

Well I think the reasoning for this is exactly what it says, they aren't looking for guys who are looking for "intimate encounters".

They are on there looking for a relationship, they aren't looking for a one night stand and they aren't looking to pick up clients.

 

[blueberrymuffin]

I've said this a million times and I'll keep repeating it. Escort are people with heart and souls...Period!! They are no different then anyone else on here, or in general when it comes to the bare wire.

Outside this board or industry, they can choose whatever they choose to do and live the way they want to live....like any one of us .

If they are on dating sites .......kudos to them :clap2:. Just another set of their own rules they'll go by :thumb:,

I can only speak of myself on this.....but like me, being a guy, I would think that, they to, would like to leave this industry and try and find someone at some point and live a normal life. Just saying.

Have you seen the documentary "After Porn Ends"?

 

[BallzDeep]

When a woman puts "must not be looking for intimate encounters" it means she is looking for a relationship and does not want to be used for "just sex".

and therein lies the crux of my argument (or rant i suppose) is that its a giant catch-22. you cant really say you dont want to be used just for sex, when as an escort thats what you do. so to say on a dating site you are against it, is like being a nuclear physisist working on developing the atomic bomb and saying you're against the use of such bombs and/or their testing. then why work there? lol.

i dont wish for this thread to veer into clients dating escorts and vice versa, thats been covered numerous times before.

honesty is the best policy, but sometimes white lies are better. im only saying escorts should leave the intimate encounters part blank, and the blatent hypocrisy aspect of it goes away. just my humble opinion.

 

[BallzDeep]

Should a lawyer give out free services because he is on a dating site?

sure, but do lawyers put on their profiles "must not be seeking free counsel" as a stipulation to dating them? didnt think so.

my post wasnt about pooners looking for escorts on purpose on dating sites for the means of free sex, im not joe45 here lol.

by and large i think were on the same page im just irked by this one glaring anamoly.
if youre an escort on a dating site, omit the intimate encounters part, be true to yourself, and the right guy will come along anyway, no need to even state it.

 

[BallzDeep]

You write a thread about nothing, the problem here, is you're the hypocrite, not these women. There's something else here, something that maybe even you can't articulate that pisses you off about this. They can put what they want, its none of your business, and they don't have to justify themselves to you. So, why do you care, is what I want to know. Why? Who gives a shit? You label them hypocrites, but you're looking in the wrong direction, pal. Take a look in the mirror, there's your hypocrite, a guy starting a thread about jack shit and making a mountain out of a molehill, because there's something else gnawing away at him, that he doesn't want to discuss because, maybe, it won't reflect so well on him. Man, am I ever tired of this crap. Stupid ass threads like this one and if an sp gets up to pee. Seriously, what a bunch of old ladies.

i dont have to justify myself to you either.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I'm just having a hard time making the correlation between what she does for her vocation (SP) and the relevance of that when she's expressing what she's looking for on a dating website. Many SPs wouldn't even bother with dating sites, because they are rife with guys (and girls) looking for free hook-ups. But, if she was on a dating site, I'm sure the last kinda guy that she'd want to be approached by is the guy who's looking for an intimate encounter...

Because she's not looking for an intimate encounter in her dating life, in no way defines how she feels about intimate encounters in general. Clearly, the definition of intimate encounter varies from person to person but, on dating sites, it fairly typically represents the notion that the individuals have no interest whatsoever in seeking a mate. They are there for the sex, be they married or single.

Also, let's be fair about the fact that SPs tend to be in the more attractive percentile of the female population. Thus, putting anything out there that shows her attractiveness is ever-so-likely to gain quite a bit of attention. And it's highly likely that those guys that are looking exclusively for intimate encounters would jump on her profile in a heartbeat. She'd spend half her time wading and weeding through those profiles and, even though she may have to do that anyway, by stating it in her profile preferences, she's hoping to circumvent their hello...IE head it off at the pass!

So, her stating that, oh-by-the-way-if-you-were-thinking-about-just-fucking-me, I'm-not-looking-for-that, completely makes sense to me. imho

 

[thehedonist]

There are still guys who use dating sites? I realized what a scam it was years ago.

 

[blueberrymuffin]

This sounds like POF.

*starts signing up*

 

[vancity_cowboy]

it seems to me from what has been described by ballzdeep that the women are looking for a non-sexual companionship relationship... at least to start with

somebody to see the town with, go to events with, and see what develops from there

obviously nobody in modern north america believes that any relationship 'might' not evolve to including sex, but the women are looking for a guy-friend to date platonically to start

and there are guys that will do that too. i would, but i might require that the lady think about sharing costs, at least for anything major like hockey games, symphony, ballet, skiing trips etc.

as things evolve and maybe we do start talking about having sex, then I would be prepared to start picking up the entire tab for expensive dates as well

just sayin...

 

[BallzDeep]

I get what the OP is saying, that it is not necessary to specifically say that. He knows an SP might be looking for commitment and a relationship which is fine, she just doesn;t need to post what she is not looking for. Actually often when we focus on what we do not want, that is what we end up getting.

That all being said maybe she was getting approached a lot for casual sex and is looking for something more serious so she felt the need to say that. I'm not sure why it would bother you so much and get your knickers in a knot. Just move past that profile. People have said worse things on their online dating profiles for sure.

I always laugh when I see someone on a hookup/casual sex type site with family photos like wedding or ones with a baby in the picture, yeah that's hawt, sign me up! lol

by gosh i think someone gets it!

the intent of a dating site is to "date", it should be a given. so for an escort to state not looking for sex is sort of redundant and unnecessary.

and no i actually find it rather humorous when i come across this, kinda like "hahaha but youre an escort?"
i dont lose sleep over it if thats what youre thinking.

 

[CJ Tylers]

I don't see an issue with it at all.

Many/most guys on those web sites are simply looking for as many girls as possible to booty call. These girls are stipulating that they are wanting something other than that. The fact that they have sex professionally simply means that their mechanical sexual needs may or may not be met on a regular basis (as much as an sp might put into a session, I highly doubt her emotional needs will be met... just as a mans emotional needs aren't met).

In the case of being an sp, there is a transaction... fair trade if you will - mutual using... whatever you want to call it. In the case of a relationship, if one is a user and the other isn't looking to reciprocate on that level, there's a problem. I'll be quite honest, in any online profile that I have, I ALSO stipulate "not looking for sex" (I also ignore the ones looking for "just friends" or "just chat" because, well, I have no interest in only doing that stuff).

It just means you're looking for someone that is seeking more than a purely physical relationship, maybe even something that can develop into a serious relationship... there's nothing wrong minded, duplicitous, catch-22ish or insincere about that. Someone who works in the sex industry is still a person with hopes, dreams, desires and needs. Would you deny them that?

 

[Strawberry]

They aren't being hypocrites by stating that. A person is not what they do, and if in one aspect of there lives they choose to not engage in certain activities then so be it. I think a lot of people find it hard to believe sex can just be sex, and when the day is over and real life starts , hey they aren't interested in a casul encounter. State what are looking for , seems obvious .

 

[BallzDeep]

Such an ignorant thing to say!!! :doh: Just because we do this for work doesn't mean in our personal lives we are looking for the same type of escapades. Great you can pay me to sleep with you, but can you sleep with me for free? now thats a real challenge. Most girls have their price, a few drinks, a few dinner dates, a few shopping sprees. Your almost always paying to play ... You just are to small minded to see it that way.

Its like you think we are entitled to sleep with you just because we are escorts. Work and Personal lives are two different things and if the person posting is wanting more then just an intimate encounter then so be it. Why can't an escort be a working girl and have non intimate encounters with other gentleman. Please explain you reasoning ... Your not entitled to have sex with her just cause she is an escort. I hope this isn't your argument.

Kisses Melina*

im not sure where you got any of this from my original comments.

ive plainly stated im all for escorts escorting and dating and doing BOTH. my post has zero to do with being a pooner scoping out escorts on dating sites and being 'entitled' to anything. the reason i joined a dating site was to date and find a relationship also, if she happened to be an escort thats cool too, but certainly not my target or goal by a long shot. in the end we all want love and happiness. believe me i get that.

but its still hypocritical, or at the very least a double standard. you cant really say youre against something if that something is what you do for work. and if youre truly against it, you wouldnt be doing it for work to begin with. like icecream saying it hates milk, lol.

 

[BallzDeep]

They aren't being hypocrites by stating that. A person is not what they do, and if in one aspect of there lives they choose to not engage in certain activities then so be it. I think a lot of people find it hard to believe sex can just be sex, and when the day is over and real life starts , hey they aren't interested in a casul encounter. State what are looking for , seems obvious .

the difference here is you wont find a pooner or any guy for that matter saying hes against an intimate encounter, my profile certainly doesnt have it. im using a dating site to date as the primary objective, same as what i would think is the escorts. only i dont have to say im against it.

 

[BallzDeep]

So basically everyone is a hypocrite if they check that box? Or else everyone that has sex, guy or girl?

you still need this explained to you?

you are a pooner. if you said youre against intimate encounters but still pooned, yes youd be a hypocrite. the escorts do this time and time again, and while its perfectly acceptable they can do as they please, its hypocritical.

i wish people could take that comment for what it is. and not rearrange it to something that it isnt, like filmgeek and a few others to name a few. its so simple if you want it to be.

 

[Strawberry]

the difference here is you wont find a pooner or any guy for that matter saying hes against an intimate encounter, my profile certainly doesnt have it. im using a dating site to date as the primary objective, same as what i would think is the escorts. only i dont have to say im against it.

You do have to state that !!! It saves you all the headache of dealing with replies for "casual encounters"
I totally get what you have stated, but you really need to not label a person like that. Just because you work in a steak house doesn't mean you can't be a vegetarian .

 

[trackstar]

This thread makes my head feel stoopider