THE EPIC LIMERICK OF SEXPEARE
Yesterday I saw an ad on LL
The girl looked like a real belle
With a pair of itty bitty titties
Such that I’d never seen in any cities
She surely had a fantasy to sell.
So I decided to TOFTT for an hour
She didn’t live in a condo tower
But, I found out later, in a low-cost “hotel”
An old building on Richards, with smell
The place turned my enthusiasm sour.
For a moment I thought of bailing
But the junior was already up for playing
So I waited in the lobby full of people
Some seemed high on drugs and needle
But I was now in with no escaping.
The “belle” came down to fetch me
At once I felt like I wanted to flee
She had a big belly under a tight gown
That barely hid the widest ass in town
“Hi honey”, she said to me with glee.
She had a cute face, though with pimples
And also with a nice little dimple
So up I went with the “belle”
Climbing the dirty, smelly stairwell
Her body didn’t allow her to be nimble.
Her room was full of clutter
That made me wince with fluster
She blared the music on TV,
Against my desire and plea,
Lest neighbors hear a stranger banging her.
She took off her tight little gown
I saw between her thighs Amazon jungle crown
Then she said her hair (on head) is damp from shower
Would I do her a favor and brush it for her?
I said yes, and did the job without a frown.
Then she did a thousand little chores
She turned up the music volume even more
Taking the longest time in the world
Before finally climbing in the bed and curl
Then came the loud knocking on the door.
She promptly climbed down the bed
I was a bit peeved and a bit scared
She shouted through the door, who’s there?
Somebody outside spoke but I couldn’t quite hear
“It’s ok in here, don’t pound on the door,” she said.
She returned to the bed where I lay naked
But things got a bit more complicated
When she said she needed to pee
But her room didn’t have a bathroom, you see
So, she quickly put on a spandex and left as I waited.
Now I was hit with a big case of anxiety
I’d heard enough about scams and notoriety
So I quickly put on all my clothes
Lest gangsters come in to rob me with blows
I cursed myself for my impropriety.
But thankfully she came back without any one
With surprise she said, why are you dressed, hun?
I said I didn’t want anyone else to find me naked
I was a bit jaded but to have some sex I had awaited
I again shed all my clothing, ready for fun.
She pursed her lips and gave me three kisses
Then gave me a lame BJ, worse than my Mrs
Then she lay down on her back
And I sank in her jungle crack
As soon as I came I grabbed my clothing pieces.
When the clumsiest deed I’ve ever experienced was done
She asked if I wanted her to walk me down
She left the blaring music on for the day
I could hear the music far down the hallway
An experience I’ll not forget in Vancouver downtown
Outside she gave me a hug and said
I’m welcome any time to join her in bed
Sure, lady, good luck, I muttered to myself
I quickly turned around to flee as far away as to Guelf
I kicked my own shin, angry with myself with a face beet red.
An angry dog on sidewalk suddenly barked and whined
I was startled and woke up from the sleepy dream of mine
“Thodi, you okay?” mumbled Mrs. Wifey, half asleep
“I’m ok,” I said, thanking god, it was only a dream in my sleep
Or, was it? The question made me feel like a swine.
Yesterday I saw an ad on LL
The girl looked like a real belle
With a pair of itty bitty titties
Such that I’d never seen in any cities
She surely had a fantasy to sell.
So I decided to TOFTT for an hour
She didn’t live in a condo tower
But, I found out later, in a low-cost “hotel”
An old building on Richards, with smell
The place turned my enthusiasm sour.
For a moment I thought of bailing
But the junior was already up for playing
So I waited in the lobby full of people
Some seemed high on drugs and needle
But I was now in with no escaping.
The “belle” came down to fetch me
At once I felt like I wanted to flee
She had a big belly under a tight gown
That barely hid the widest ass in town
“Hi honey”, she said to me with glee.
She had a cute face, though with pimples
And also with a nice little dimple
So up I went with the “belle”
Climbing the dirty, smelly stairwell
Her body didn’t allow her to be nimble.
Her room was full of clutter
That made me wince with fluster
She blared the music on TV,
Against my desire and plea,
Lest neighbors hear a stranger banging her.
She took off her tight little gown
I saw between her thighs Amazon jungle crown
Then she said her hair (on head) is damp from shower
Would I do her a favor and brush it for her?
I said yes, and did the job without a frown.
Then she did a thousand little chores
She turned up the music volume even more
Taking the longest time in the world
Before finally climbing in the bed and curl
Then came the loud knocking on the door.
She promptly climbed down the bed
I was a bit peeved and a bit scared
She shouted through the door, who’s there?
Somebody outside spoke but I couldn’t quite hear
“It’s ok in here, don’t pound on the door,” she said.
She returned to the bed where I lay naked
But things got a bit more complicated
When she said she needed to pee
But her room didn’t have a bathroom, you see
So, she quickly put on a spandex and left as I waited.
Now I was hit with a big case of anxiety
I’d heard enough about scams and notoriety
So I quickly put on all my clothes
Lest gangsters come in to rob me with blows
I cursed myself for my impropriety.
But thankfully she came back without any one
With surprise she said, why are you dressed, hun?
I said I didn’t want anyone else to find me naked
I was a bit jaded but to have some sex I had awaited
I again shed all my clothing, ready for fun.
She pursed her lips and gave me three kisses
Then gave me a lame BJ, worse than my Mrs
Then she lay down on her back
And I sank in her jungle crack
As soon as I came I grabbed my clothing pieces.
When the clumsiest deed I’ve ever experienced was done
She asked if I wanted her to walk me down
She left the blaring music on for the day
I could hear the music far down the hallway
An experience I’ll not forget in Vancouver downtown
Outside she gave me a hug and said
I’m welcome any time to join her in bed
Sure, lady, good luck, I muttered to myself
I quickly turned around to flee as far away as to Guelf
I kicked my own shin, angry with myself with a face beet red.
An angry dog on sidewalk suddenly barked and whined
I was startled and woke up from the sleepy dream of mine
“Thodi, you okay?” mumbled Mrs. Wifey, half asleep
“I’m ok,” I said, thanking god, it was only a dream in my sleep
Or, was it? The question made me feel like a swine.
