Accept the difference of opinions and protect yours.
Stephanie/CLM is, and has been, pre-occupied with some pretty serious family concerns the last little while to post here. She has asked me to relay this, I warn you it is lengthy but to say her intentions are misunderstood would be an understatement. Regardless of what and how she posts, her objectives remain the same, to find harmony between SPs and the people who use their services in the most respectable and safest way possible. Everyone has their role, now is not the time to destroy one of the few people lending an unsolicited hand. She even cut a trip short to come to the aid of a SP assaulted by a client.
The goal of harmony can be achieved, you just need to give her some positive (no references to her character) feedback. We've all heard a rumour or two about her and speculation of industry related transgressions but how does one remain in business if those offenses were or could be substantiated. The most alarming being the latest of dust-ups where SPs actually lied and gossip'd to disprove her credibility. Ladies, don't hate the player, hate the game.
My closing argument. Most of the posts deemed counterproductive have been authored by people, all of whom made my point of the initial thread /post . This is a long post and I’m not going to apologize for it. Consider that a warning.
I had received an email from a concerned pooner (no names no gossip as long as they don’t acknowledge it by posting) in regards that the latest in posts/threads I’ve participated in, that they may be chipping away at my compassionate and seemingly fragile nature. Despite having been provocative by a manner of exploiting a weakness, I’ve learned tremendously in the period of freedom since I had started a thread upon my return from the PERB penalty box. I’ve grown armor where you can say anything based on personal opinion without it stinging me. What you say or think out loud, even behind my back, just doesn’t matter to me anymore. I can’t stop it from happening. As one SP referred to their impenetrable shell as a Teflon G-String, I now sport one. I list the instances in where I’ve grown to be more a little more impermeable to criticism, whether public or behind my back.
1) I was sending an email with an attachment to a few SPs out of courtesy alerting them that I would, at some point, post the attachment on PERB. My intention was to sort out some inconsistencies made public at which my chance to defend myself was no longer available. Not being one to gossip despite many claims, I waited out my suspension and responded to a post using Word. I sent it off and got a response accusing me in a breach of discretion protocol. I responded accordingly to my knowledge inviting the SP to provide more detail on the violation while protecting their source except my request to explore/investigate the allegation was rubbed off without proof. No one can say that I didn’t want to learn more from my infraction to prevent anything for the sort from occurring again in the future but when the other party is unwilling to provide more evidence, what’s a person in my position supposed to do or think?
I wouldn’t be surprised that what I’ve been accused of doing is used to smear me in return, and it probably has been done. I’m thinking “harassment”would likely be uttered. You be the judge:
I send an email, returned with a prickly allegation. I responded to the best of my recollection of events leading up the day the email sent and get a rather immature response and a “grey area” connotation. “Harassment” written all over that one. I discontinue responding after 1 volley when the mother lode of all realizations and my involvement in this industry, hits me, I just don’t care what crap you have to say about me anymore.
2) In the past few years, maybe 4 years, I’ve been implicated in industry misconduct/impropriety such as “outting SPs/Clients”, malicious rumour spreading, theft and assault. These allegations have had their theories all of which none had evidence to prove I’ve committed the crime but then again there was no way to prove I wasn’t the culprit. I’ve learned early embarking this industry that you can’t stop people from talking...and you are nothing unless you are talked about. So I guess I’ve inadvertently become someone of influence all by the hands and tongues of a few resentful people looking for some kind of excitement in their dull lives or to peg me as the shining scapegoat . Really, I’m absolutely flattered that some of you feel that I hold/pull the strings to the industry but the industry is controlled as a collective of SPs and pooners. One person doesn’t dominate nor is domination my goal. How does an SP dominate an entire industry? Honestly.
3) I’m also willing to accept that this is a new age, with people not wanting to take any responsibility for their actions and would rather pin it on another, which leads to me to figure out that most of the business sabotage on an SP is perpetrated by someone close to them and not from some person who has had a few (random) meetings or no meetings at all. Keep a watchful eye, ladies. That close confidante could very well be your enemy incognito. A wolf in sheeps clothing. Plant a seed to figure out where that leak is coming from instead of pointing your finger in m direction.
4) You have to respect the difference of opinions. Those that have contrasting views and post them can't speak for those that either agree with me or look for help from me. It was their choice to come to me. I don’t solicit myself as the “super hero-ho”.Those claiming of my shoving opinions down throats only for them pointing out one by one on a different tangent of my misdeeds only shows that they are guilty of doing exactly what they are accusing me of. We all know, or should know, even without the literal sense, I don’t force anyone to think or do anything. It's just an opinion, what you do with it is your choice.
Again I’m flattered to be considered someone with powers of persuasion stronger than the average person, yvan eht nioj, but it’s just much easier for me just to talk straight. Yvan eht nioj.
5) I have come to realize that any association with me might harm an SPs business or social standing with colleagues. Hey Wait a sec, I guess some of those folks are two faced hypocrites, too or they are just afraid to face up to their “leader”. I believed the latter more than the former but after recent weeks, not anymore. I’ve come to the conclusion that the desire to help one another cleverly disguises the need to look out for oneself. The “do whatever it takes” to make it look like one is giving feedback but only offering up poison in exchange.
Gilmore-I am truly sorry about posting about the “no-show”. The specifics of where that detail was found wasn’t given to me. All I was told that it was what you posted in the lounge and not which one. What makes matters worse is that the SP who emailed your frustration to me also posted in this thread. In case you have any ideas of who that might be based on responses in this thread and peg the wrong person, she had a good command of spelling. I don’t go to that forum because if you don’t think a certain way you, the demerit/promotion system can determine your credibility fate, at least that’s the impression I, and many others, get. I also don’t have the password to that place anymore after my last post, I had a friend change it for me. I know it’s difficult to believe me at this time, but I would never expose an SP or client like that, none at all. My career would be toast and not thriving like it is. Even in this post and others like this, I’ve kept names out. Specifically this post, after the public were made aware of the participants of a conflict, I still haven’t addressed the subjects by name because it’s just not right in my eyes as it serves as an example of what can happen to anyone, perpetrated by anyone.
2) Gilmore, I accept your challenge(s) however I fail to see where the parallel is in regards to my thread. It does tickle me that my dry, robotic posts drove you and others crazy enough to post what ever it is you call them. You make mention that my reputation is waning...but it’s through your eyes. You cannot speak for everyone. Respect the difference of opinion and you will come to understand that every SP has a good chance of succeeding in this industry. Not everyone wants a spinner, a Caucasian girl, a Safe GFE provider, etc. And not every SP has it all figured out like you and doesn’t require/want help from a colleague. Besides, this little online sparring match we’re having creates more business for both of us. People will fall, and have fallen, over our teetering victim/bully posts.
3) Understand that every single SP is not in every pooners eye. How do I know? In the last 2 years, most of my guests have been members of PERB who seldom or don’t post at all. A wall flower isn’t necessarily the most treasured kind of SP. I’m not interested in those who have read my posts and have decided to cross me off their list, that’s their problem. I am available for those who have decided to look at the threads I’ve participated in, look past the words stripped of what gives those words emotional value when communicated in this medium, pick up the phone and call. And of those that have had their interest piqued, even after years of contributing or sitting as a silent but observant member, I guess my posts served as some form of textual/verbal foreplay. Either way, I’m happy. Believe me, I appreciate your concern for my reputation but the result on whether or not it’s suffering is my ringing phone...it’s chime is always welcome with a (prospective) client or SP at the other end.
When all of you start to engage in constructive debate on how to make this industry safer for EVERYONE with feedback and to respect the difference in attitudes, both refraining from making personal jabs, it is then that I will seek out your opinion. Until then, all subsequent posts here not concerning with the acceptance of expressing ones reflections however contrary to your own, are deemed, you guessed it, yvan eht nioj,
COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.
Stephanie/CLM is, and has been, pre-occupied with some pretty serious family concerns the last little while to post here. She has asked me to relay this, I warn you it is lengthy but to say her intentions are misunderstood would be an understatement. Regardless of what and how she posts, her objectives remain the same, to find harmony between SPs and the people who use their services in the most respectable and safest way possible. Everyone has their role, now is not the time to destroy one of the few people lending an unsolicited hand. She even cut a trip short to come to the aid of a SP assaulted by a client.
The goal of harmony can be achieved, you just need to give her some positive (no references to her character) feedback. We've all heard a rumour or two about her and speculation of industry related transgressions but how does one remain in business if those offenses were or could be substantiated. The most alarming being the latest of dust-ups where SPs actually lied and gossip'd to disprove her credibility. Ladies, don't hate the player, hate the game.
My closing argument. Most of the posts deemed counterproductive have been authored by people, all of whom made my point of the initial thread /post . This is a long post and I’m not going to apologize for it. Consider that a warning.
I had received an email from a concerned pooner (no names no gossip as long as they don’t acknowledge it by posting) in regards that the latest in posts/threads I’ve participated in, that they may be chipping away at my compassionate and seemingly fragile nature. Despite having been provocative by a manner of exploiting a weakness, I’ve learned tremendously in the period of freedom since I had started a thread upon my return from the PERB penalty box. I’ve grown armor where you can say anything based on personal opinion without it stinging me. What you say or think out loud, even behind my back, just doesn’t matter to me anymore. I can’t stop it from happening. As one SP referred to their impenetrable shell as a Teflon G-String, I now sport one. I list the instances in where I’ve grown to be more a little more impermeable to criticism, whether public or behind my back.
1) I was sending an email with an attachment to a few SPs out of courtesy alerting them that I would, at some point, post the attachment on PERB. My intention was to sort out some inconsistencies made public at which my chance to defend myself was no longer available. Not being one to gossip despite many claims, I waited out my suspension and responded to a post using Word. I sent it off and got a response accusing me in a breach of discretion protocol. I responded accordingly to my knowledge inviting the SP to provide more detail on the violation while protecting their source except my request to explore/investigate the allegation was rubbed off without proof. No one can say that I didn’t want to learn more from my infraction to prevent anything for the sort from occurring again in the future but when the other party is unwilling to provide more evidence, what’s a person in my position supposed to do or think?
I wouldn’t be surprised that what I’ve been accused of doing is used to smear me in return, and it probably has been done. I’m thinking “harassment”would likely be uttered. You be the judge:
I send an email, returned with a prickly allegation. I responded to the best of my recollection of events leading up the day the email sent and get a rather immature response and a “grey area” connotation. “Harassment” written all over that one. I discontinue responding after 1 volley when the mother lode of all realizations and my involvement in this industry, hits me, I just don’t care what crap you have to say about me anymore.
2) In the past few years, maybe 4 years, I’ve been implicated in industry misconduct/impropriety such as “outting SPs/Clients”, malicious rumour spreading, theft and assault. These allegations have had their theories all of which none had evidence to prove I’ve committed the crime but then again there was no way to prove I wasn’t the culprit. I’ve learned early embarking this industry that you can’t stop people from talking...and you are nothing unless you are talked about. So I guess I’ve inadvertently become someone of influence all by the hands and tongues of a few resentful people looking for some kind of excitement in their dull lives or to peg me as the shining scapegoat . Really, I’m absolutely flattered that some of you feel that I hold/pull the strings to the industry but the industry is controlled as a collective of SPs and pooners. One person doesn’t dominate nor is domination my goal. How does an SP dominate an entire industry? Honestly.
3) I’m also willing to accept that this is a new age, with people not wanting to take any responsibility for their actions and would rather pin it on another, which leads to me to figure out that most of the business sabotage on an SP is perpetrated by someone close to them and not from some person who has had a few (random) meetings or no meetings at all. Keep a watchful eye, ladies. That close confidante could very well be your enemy incognito. A wolf in sheeps clothing. Plant a seed to figure out where that leak is coming from instead of pointing your finger in m direction.
4) You have to respect the difference of opinions. Those that have contrasting views and post them can't speak for those that either agree with me or look for help from me. It was their choice to come to me. I don’t solicit myself as the “super hero-ho”.Those claiming of my shoving opinions down throats only for them pointing out one by one on a different tangent of my misdeeds only shows that they are guilty of doing exactly what they are accusing me of. We all know, or should know, even without the literal sense, I don’t force anyone to think or do anything. It's just an opinion, what you do with it is your choice.
Again I’m flattered to be considered someone with powers of persuasion stronger than the average person, yvan eht nioj, but it’s just much easier for me just to talk straight. Yvan eht nioj.
5) I have come to realize that any association with me might harm an SPs business or social standing with colleagues. Hey Wait a sec, I guess some of those folks are two faced hypocrites, too or they are just afraid to face up to their “leader”. I believed the latter more than the former but after recent weeks, not anymore. I’ve come to the conclusion that the desire to help one another cleverly disguises the need to look out for oneself. The “do whatever it takes” to make it look like one is giving feedback but only offering up poison in exchange.
Gilmore-I am truly sorry about posting about the “no-show”. The specifics of where that detail was found wasn’t given to me. All I was told that it was what you posted in the lounge and not which one. What makes matters worse is that the SP who emailed your frustration to me also posted in this thread. In case you have any ideas of who that might be based on responses in this thread and peg the wrong person, she had a good command of spelling. I don’t go to that forum because if you don’t think a certain way you, the demerit/promotion system can determine your credibility fate, at least that’s the impression I, and many others, get. I also don’t have the password to that place anymore after my last post, I had a friend change it for me. I know it’s difficult to believe me at this time, but I would never expose an SP or client like that, none at all. My career would be toast and not thriving like it is. Even in this post and others like this, I’ve kept names out. Specifically this post, after the public were made aware of the participants of a conflict, I still haven’t addressed the subjects by name because it’s just not right in my eyes as it serves as an example of what can happen to anyone, perpetrated by anyone.
2) Gilmore, I accept your challenge(s) however I fail to see where the parallel is in regards to my thread. It does tickle me that my dry, robotic posts drove you and others crazy enough to post what ever it is you call them. You make mention that my reputation is waning...but it’s through your eyes. You cannot speak for everyone. Respect the difference of opinion and you will come to understand that every SP has a good chance of succeeding in this industry. Not everyone wants a spinner, a Caucasian girl, a Safe GFE provider, etc. And not every SP has it all figured out like you and doesn’t require/want help from a colleague. Besides, this little online sparring match we’re having creates more business for both of us. People will fall, and have fallen, over our teetering victim/bully posts.
3) Understand that every single SP is not in every pooners eye. How do I know? In the last 2 years, most of my guests have been members of PERB who seldom or don’t post at all. A wall flower isn’t necessarily the most treasured kind of SP. I’m not interested in those who have read my posts and have decided to cross me off their list, that’s their problem. I am available for those who have decided to look at the threads I’ve participated in, look past the words stripped of what gives those words emotional value when communicated in this medium, pick up the phone and call. And of those that have had their interest piqued, even after years of contributing or sitting as a silent but observant member, I guess my posts served as some form of textual/verbal foreplay. Either way, I’m happy. Believe me, I appreciate your concern for my reputation but the result on whether or not it’s suffering is my ringing phone...it’s chime is always welcome with a (prospective) client or SP at the other end.
When all of you start to engage in constructive debate on how to make this industry safer for EVERYONE with feedback and to respect the difference in attitudes, both refraining from making personal jabs, it is then that I will seek out your opinion. Until then, all subsequent posts here not concerning with the acceptance of expressing ones reflections however contrary to your own, are deemed, you guessed it, yvan eht nioj,
COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.
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