SPs: Why and how did you become an SP and how have your attitudes changed over time?

[HankQuinlan]

The original poster (judging from this and other posts) seems to have an unhealthly fixation on the motives of women in this industry. I suspect that he posts in order to get off on any communication he can with sps. He doesn't seem interested in answers that don't confirm to his notion of proper "discussion." I believe that responding in the way he wishes is simply feeding the troll.

 

[*emmanuelle]

People like Jupiter are the reason that escort attitudes change over time, specifically in the sense that we tend to get a lot more "guarded" or even standoffish. The general attitide that escorts get "jaded" over time, seems to assume that the action of becoming jaded is out of the escorts' control (in other words, she is "getting jaded by the industry" against her will) What is more often the case is that the escort makes a conscious decision to become more reserved, in order to discourage the actions of people like Jupiter. It is not an involuntary jadedness, it is calculated.

As has been made evident in the first post of this thread, the more "open" you are as an escort, the more BS you have to put up with. One of the biggest challenges in this line of work is establishing and maintaining a delicate balance beween friendliness and wariness.

 

[mimi]

Well, I had a regular client push a boundary.

It was a very small boundary, but, important to me. Because we have slowly become accustomed to one another, I felt it would be impolite to show my disappointment. I was raised with good manners, and, I did not want to hurt his feelings.

I have withdrawn, now, when we have sessions, because, I do not trust him anymore. I believe he has an agenda of breaking down barriers and getting too close to me. I don't look forward to seeing him and make excuses not to.

If he were to show up at my work my stomach would clench...I know exactly the feeling...I would be worried about his stability, and his rationality, and I would agree to go to coffee just to get him away from my co-workers in case he began to speak loudly and say things that were inappropriate. I would be pleasant, and keep the conversation light. I would be uncomfortable returning to the office where people are sure to ask "So, where do you know that fellow from?".

 

[Thatotherguy]

This industry is all about boundaries. If an SP invites you to show up at her "legit" job, that's fine. It's happened to me. She was in a commission sales job in electronics, and there was some stuff I was going to buy anyway, so she asked if I would come buy it from her. I said hey, why not. The point is, I showed up at her job, but I was invited. There have been a couple of times when SPs have let slip personal details about their other jobs, or about where they live. In one case I even thought that she was hinting that I should come by. There's a boundary, though, and without an explicit invitation to cross that boundary, you simply do not cross it. End of story.

 

[Thatotherguy]

The thread was for SP's.........why do all you dudes need to chime in?

Because we don't trust the intentions of the OP.

 

[Thatotherguy]

hmmmmm.......IC

Read IslandGuy's posts (as well as a few others in this thread). The OP started a different thread talking about how he had showed up uninvited at an SP's day job, and pressured her into going for coffee with him. He seems to be the type of person who enjoys pushing SPs (probably other people too) outside of their comfort zone, and this thread seems like it's likely just a way of doing that.

 

[Thatotherguy]

Gotcha.....I now see what you're sayin. Thank you!

No problem, despite appearances to the contrary, I'm here to help!

 

[MissJasmine]

One of the biggest challenges in this line of work is establishing and maintaining a delicate balance beween friendliness and wariness.

There's a boundary, though, and without an explicit invitation to cross that boundary, you simply do not cross it. End of story.

Good points. I'm afraid that ladies who need absolute secrecy about their jobs (yes they are 100% entitled to it) are the ones who end up getting bullied around by unfavorable clients. For example, SPs who do not report stalking or even violence out of fear of being found out...

For me the turning point in this industry was when I decided to unblur my face and open up to my friends and family about my job. Appearing on the cover of the Province in PVC and making cops blush at airport security were also part of my "coming out of the closet" process

I have few fears about my work and plan to stay around until I feel either disinterested sexually or financially in what I do.

 

[mimi]

Hey Miss Jasmine, you kinda look like Catherine Zeta Jones in that pic

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

FSD, you did not see the original post.. I did.
I understand IG's anger towards the op.

I think he's stated enough however. One cannot change the mind of a other who can only see his own perspective.

There is a possibility that the op may open his eyes and see more about himself and be more aware of how his actions are perceived.

I hope so, because no matter how sweet or nice I found him, or any of my clients, I would have hated having him show up at my work, and giving out my personal family details here.

I am quite sure if you spoke to his provider privately- her feelings about his actions would be quite different than he thinks.
Friend stay friends when they respect boundaries.


This person has pushed them from every angle.

Fair enough..but I still stand by there being a general trend on this site towards name calling, lack of respect etc. But perhaps in this guys particular case he deserves to be called to task, as you're correct, I never did see the orginal post. Most who did appear to be quite offended by it, and IG seems like an intelligent and well balanced individual so I'll just sit back and read.

 

[island-guy]

Fair enough..but I still stand by there being a general trend on this site towards name calling, lack of respect etc. But perhaps in this guys particular case he deserves to be called to task, as you're correct, I never did see the orginal post. Most who did appear to be quite offended by it, and IG seems like an intelligent and well balanced individual so I'll just sit back and read.

In the context of the original deleted thread and his previous posts, which are still around if you want to check them out, this guy clearly has some major boundry issues and feels that the rules about things like SP sexual restrictions, discretion and intruding on an SP's private life just don't apply to him.

He has made several posts in the past that go something like this, of course he thinks that he is being 'clever' and not blindingly obvious about what he is trying to do (I'll paraphrase):

"Hey, I saw this SP before and now she is no longer answering my calls or calling me back. I know that she is still seeing other clients, so I cannot accept that she no longer wants to deal with me. Is there anyone who has any personal information about her that I can use to try to impose myself on her against her wishes?"

Or

"I saw this SP a while ago and she really was firm about certain restrictions with me and didn't let me break them even though I tried, but then I read a review about her and saw that she let some other guy do the things that she wouldn't let me do. I will have to go see her again and make her do those things with me this time"

Then in the original version of this thread he mentions both "Pushing Past" an SP's restrictions despite her "resistance" and showing up at her place of non-sp work after she retired from being an SP uninvited because he wanted to go out for coffee with her. He also posted enough personal information about her that it wouldn't take more than a minimal effort of perhaps 30 minutes for someone to figure out which SP she was and her real name and place of non-SP work. He later stated that he has always been "very discreet".

He also clearly has a superiority complex in that he cannot conceive of his ideas or actions being incorrect. He thinks that his actions are actually OK and that everyone just is too dumb to see how OK his actions actually are. He does not care at all about the opinions of others and posts threads and questions like this merely for the attention and/or to manipulate others.

Let's see, what else...

Oh yes, when confronted with the idea that forcing specific sexual activities that are not wanted on a girl (an SP in this case) is actually sexual assault, his response was that I was being "politically correct" and he actually called ME a "Liberal".

Anyone who thinks that I am a liberal is clearly delusional and off their medications. Clearly his idea of a "liberal" is anyone who thinks that women should have the vote. Makes me wonder if he was raised in a country where women are non-human chattel and kept under veils, that would be the only possible way that his behaviour could actually be a cultural brain-washing thing and not a severe untreated mental illness.

 

[MissJasmine]

Hey Miss Jasmine, you kinda look like Catherine Zeta Jones in that pic

Thanks I used to get that almost daily when my hair was short and "Chicago" came out.

I can completely relate to Cuteangie's comments. Respect yourself and others with respect you. In the beginning all of us have to deal with the "undesirables" because we don't know any better.

Thanks goodness they account for a very small percentage of prospective clients or I would have left this business long ago.

I've been told by clients who have seen me since day one that my demeanor is more relaxed than before.

 

[juniper]

Island Guy-- I just read your thread. The problem is that you cannot back up what you wrote. Anyone who wishes can return to my previous posts and view for themselves. You overdramatize and falsify. I think you are in need of a job or some kind of worthwhile work. Your efforts at propaganda may convince some but I am aware that if your latest post isn't a deliberate attempt at misinforming then you are otherwise delusional.

 

[juniper]

Thank you, Angie, for replying to my original questions. As a result of your reply and those of Jessica's, Kim's and Holly's, I have managed to learn something about SPs and, in a larger sense, something about vocational choices made by all people.

As to what I wrote on the original post, I do think it was misinterpreted and probably awkwardly phrased on my part and, yes, I did go too far (unthinkingly) in describing this particular young lady although the whole event occurred about ten years ago and is therefore unlikely to reach her or anyone who might have known her. Her gentle remark stuck with me, however, and, to be quite frank, made quite an impression. Nonetheless, I don't wish to belabour this. I'll try to be more judicious in the future and I do thank (once again) those women who communicated information about themselves and their choices.

 

[juniper]

I don't know what confuses you, Angie. The phrase "vocational choices" refers specifically to becoming an SP and, in some cases, leaving this particular means of earning a living. In a more generalized sense, I was referring to why people might choose to enter or leave any vocation. The term "vocation" refers to a job or a means of earning a living. I hope this clarifies.

 

[nd1]

Beware of stalkers!

why I and how I became an SP is no ones business and Unless you are a trusted client I would not reveal my personal info to you.

So smart of you, Angie!

As this thread unfolded and more information about the original poster became apparent -- thanks to IslandGuy and others -- what seemingly was an innocent and interesting discussion has showed itself to be but an attempt to explore and exploit potential levers that a stalker could pull to blackmail and breach boundaries of the ladies. If a stalker knows why you got in and (have to) stay in, as well as what would end your career, he can threaten to work on the factors that you do not want to see happen to make you do things you might not want to do. Luckily, the ladies who did say anything substantial in the thread are all strong independent ladies unassailable by such despicable tricks -- I sure hope the rest of you would clam up as Angie has wisely so.

Beware of stalkers and Cameron-Hooker-wannabes!

 

[HankQuinlan]

I still feel that this guy is either just a troll or seriously deluded. Responding to his questions only reinforces his behavour.

 

[island-guy]

I still feel that this guy is either just a troll or seriously deluded. Responding to his questions only reinforces his behavour.

Yep, he's creepy

 

[juniper]

Thanks for your clear and very honest response, Miss Lux.

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

nd1 I appreciate your overall concern regarding the 'stalker' issue, truly. I don't really understand, however; Do you believe there is any more of a likelyhood of a woman attracting a 'stalker' in this industry than in any other? If so ...do you have statistics of some kind to back up your belief or is it more a 'gut feeling'? I ask because ...having spent more years in regular industry than some ladies here have been alive, I can honestly say that it is my experienced opinion there is far less 'stalker' material floating around this industry than any other I have ever worked in.

I repeat myself sometimes and I do apologize for that but the clients in this industry are FAR AND ABOVE more respectful, more caring, more honest, more kind than the majority of people in other areas of life. In little over 2 years in the industry I have had a total number of Altercations so tiny I can count them on one hand. Having worked in Retail, Sales, Management, Customer Service and also having owned a business for 14 years ...I speak with knowledge that altercations could occur daily in those other positions ...that does not happen here.

My point ...what you say is sensible and pertains to everyone everywhere, women and men alike. The information you choose to share with a secretary or customer at your office, in my opinion, is far more likely to lead to a 'Fatal Attraction' than when an SP shares information with her clients. IMHO

COMMON SENSE ALWAYS. Everyone. All the time.
Everything in moderation folks ...nd1, you can't expect us (SP's) to 'turn off' human nature and not share things with people we spend intimate time with, that would make intimacy far less ...intimate. IMHO

BunnyHugs
JessicaPRabbit​

So smart of you, Angie!

As this thread unfolded and more information about the original poster became apparent -- thanks to IslandGuy and others -- what seemingly was an innocent and interesting discussion has showed itself to be but an attempt to explore and exploit potential levers that a stalker could pull to blackmail and breach boundaries of the ladies. If a stalker knows why you got in and (have to) stay in, as well as what would end your career, he can threaten to work on the factors that you do not want to see happen to make you do things you might not want to do. Luckily, the ladies who did say anything substantial in the thread are all strong independent ladies unassailable by such despicable tricks -- I sure hope the rest of you would clam up as Angie has wisely so.

Beware of stalkers and Cameron-Hooker-wannabes!