SP's and marriage...Feedback?

[cruiser]

One topic that I haven't seen much discussion on is sp's who have married their dates....or men who have found out that their SO was a SP in a previous life.

It got me thinking...if a guy marrys a sp, he would have a woman with lots of worldly experience, is generally good looking, is good in bed and can take care of all of his needs.

I am wondering if this happens....do sp's ever marry "straight" guys...most sp's that I've ever talk to don't want nothing beyond a "professional" relationship. Would they ever settle down? What do they do with their lives after they "retire"?
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On the other hand, have their been men out their who have found the girl of their dreams, get ready to marry them, and then find out about a past "life"...do sp's usually hide their past? How have straight men reacted after finding out that the nice innocent woman they had was actually a SP in a previous life?

Two topics for discussion.

 

[Maxwell]

My guess is that most SP's marry once they leave the business and that it is rare but probably not unheard of that a clinet would marry an SP that he has seen.

I also guess that neither of these group would share this information with anybody.

 

[sevenofnine]

i have wondered,
it seems most men in this are happily married, if well there is such a thing for some one who poons.
anyway we can claim to be happily married.
do we poon at the expense of the ladies happiness,
i have never met a lady who is any kind of stable healthy relationship

 

[Mona_Ramone]

i have never met a lady who is any kind of stable healthy relationship

ANY lady at all?!

 

[cruiser]

Interesting Feedback.

As a guy, would you want to marry a SP...to put it another way, would an SP go out with a "client" on a regular date...would she ever let her guard down so that someone could get to know her for who she really is, her life history, etc.

As a girl, how long can you keep your guard up without letting someone get into your psyche and having feelings for them?

What about it ladies?

 

[jill]

I met my boyfriend

My boyfriend was my client first, even though I was warned never to get involved with a client lol. It just kinda happened. We had good chemistry and then a great relationship for three years (yes healthy and stable).
He understood that buisness was just that, not personal. I was always honest with him.
But out of consideration and confidental reasons, I did not discuss my sessions or clients with him.(I don't think he would have like to hear these things either)
Unfortunately circumstances in our life have now lead up to a rocky break up, but it was not due to that fact that I am a sp.
Would I ever have a relationship with a another client no, I think he was one of a kind in this way.
But I would definately let who ever comes into my life now, know that I am in the buisness.
I always beleived in honesty no matter what the consequences.

 

[87112]

I dont understand the hang up with seeing a client outside of the SP/client relationship. Look at the rest of the way people hook up and guess what? The odds are pretty similar in the fail/success rate. You cannot control fate and how you meet the one. Who cares how you meet as long as its the one for you.

 

[kalel]

.

I dont understand the hang up with seeing a client outside of the SP/client relationship.

i suppose it's to do with keeping your guard up. i like to bring that guard down several years ago i dated a few sp's and some even left the business to make it work - i just couldn't get past their past. now i still go on dates with some (very few) but it's more like sharing a meal or another activity after the session cuz both of us still have the desire to go eat, watch a movie, go workout , or whatever. but neither of us is trying to pursue an exclusive relationship out of it. i guess the point is that if you simply try to get an sp to go out because you're trying to do the rare thing it can be done, but 1) it's not likely, and 2) you're doing it for the wrong reason. with that said it's easy to find guys who wanna "rescue her" from this line of work or guys who are attracted to their sp's because they say and do the right things during a session. both need a wake up call.

 

[Big Dog Striker]

Whenever I come across this topic, the first thing that comes to my mind is the richest member of the Beatles and former Saudi Billionaire and arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi, they did have something in common.

 

[mimi]

hm...an sp friend of mine told me one of her clients was interested in her romantically and wanted a relationship. He was very well off...but, she said to me "Why would I marry a man who sees escorts? He will eventually just screw around on me"

So, perhaps it works both ways...

 

[Im Cuming]

Interesting thread................

IMHO, I think the answer to the question is quite simple. As long as both people are absolutely committed to making it work, any relationship can flourish, regardless of whether the person is an SP or a client. However, IMHO, there are some issues that might complicate matters down the road.


The guys who do use these services might be more inclined for the "quick fix" in the future out of habit or convenience. This hobby has the potential of becoming very addictive, which is why I have
chosen not to participate as regularly as some others might; otherwise I wouldn't mind indulging every second day (I did 3 in one day back in August and I wanted more the next day. Big mistake.) The last thing I want is to be in a position with my future partner where I'm struggling to be faithful. Not gonna happen.....

(Please don't take this as a judgmental comment. I'm only speaking for myself and others who may be in a similar position. )

The issue of jealousy is another one. You might have the guy initially accept his gf or wife being an SP only to regret it down the road.

Having said that, I think it's important that your friend, Miss Mimi, not clump all the guys on here in the same category. I hope I'm not just speaking for myself when I say that I am actually more content with a monogamous lifestyle where I could spoil just one woman.

Why am I on here then? Well, life often throws curve balls and plans don't go accordingly for a certain period of time.

IMHO, I think if there is any minute interest from both parties, it should always be worth a shot. Crazier things happen in the world; this is a much more minor issue.


(I'm reading this over and its not making too much sense to me. I don't know if its because my head is paining me a lot or if it really doesn't flow. I extend my apologies if its confusing.)


Topper

Totally makes sense, Well said! I must say i personally agree with you.

 

[kalel]

When I'm having a session with a lady, I try my best to have fun and to build a fun rapport with her but, at the same time, I do not like to reveal too much about myself to her--at least, not quite yet.

spermie,

you're speaking from the heart and not about donairs, so i'm not gonna slam anything you said. actually it makes alot of sense and you're not far off from my ventures when seeing sp's. but for completely different reasons. i imagine you've lost some close loved ones which keeps you from trying again, and i hope you do find somebody that makes you happy again.

 

[melissa.in.abby]

hm...an sp friend of mine told me one of her clients was interested in her romantically and wanted a relationship. He was very well off...but, she said to me "Why would I marry a man who sees escorts? He will eventually just screw around on me"

So, perhaps it works both ways...

I have a client that I think would make a great husband! He isn't rich, and he isn't a super hottie but he is stable and kind, what more could a gal want! (I am already happily married though )

 

[blazejowski]

I'm a different sort of beast, I suppose. Or maybe not.

When I'm having a session with a lady, I try my best to have fun and to build a fun rapport with her but, at the same time, I do not like to reveal too much about myself to her--at least, not quite yet.

I have not known genuine happiness in a long time and I feel, regrettably, that maybe I never can or will find genuine happiness with My Special Someone, if She is out there at all.

I want to have fun with the lady with whom I'm having the session but I do realize that the entire time together is a fantasy. It is also reality, yes, because she is physically with me and she is there doing things to me and with me but it is a fantasy nonetheless because if I end up liking her very much and "connecting" and "clicking" with her, I become far too afraid.

I become afraid simply because when the fantasy ends, I'm back in my own real lonely world.

All of us have heard the age-old cliche that it is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I'm beginning to suspect that, for me anyways, it may be better for me not to have loved at all than to have loved and lost.

I am not talking about falling in love with my lady of the hour. No. I am not talking about that.

What I am talking about is that I am scared of making that emotional connection only to find, later on, that things must end.

Am I making sense?

Yes? No?

Maybe?

I love too much and I fall in love too easily and I do not want to end up being "left behind". I do not want to wake up one day and find out that the person--or persons or people--I care about are gone from my life.

I suppose I try to protect myself from hurt by trying, deliberately, to distance myself emotionally from people. When these people are gone from my life, then the pain I feel due to their absence is not as unbearable.

So sad, really.

Man, take away the punctuation, capitalization, and good grammar, and you got yourself a sevenofnine post right there....



Just kidding, spermie... I agree with a lot of the stuff you posted...

 

[CaraClementine]

Musings...

Someday, I hope to be married... not for a t least 4 years though.
I have no desire to be in a relationship at all, right now.

When I am ready, I will be out of the business - as I am into monogamy. Hopefully, my future husband is too! lol I'm certain that my future husband/relationship will be a non-client... and completely alien to the world of professional companionship.

As I plan on being retired when I enter into marriage/a relationship, it is doubtful he will be a client. I have met some pretty awesome clients though... who were good looking, or wonderful people. In an ideal world, my future suitor would be ok with my past... but in reality, few men can handle it. I think I will be forced to have to lie about my past - and this will be difficult, as I have been in and out of the industry for so long.

 

[athaire]

I'm a different sort of beast, I suppose. Or maybe not.

When I'm having a session with a lady, I try my best to have fun and to build a fun rapport with her but, at the same time, I do not like to reveal too much about myself to her--at least, not quite yet.

I have not known genuine happiness in a long time and I feel, regrettably, that maybe I never can or will find genuine happiness with My Special Someone, if She is out there at all.

I want to have fun with the lady with whom I'm having the session but I do realize that the entire time together is a fantasy. It is also reality, yes, because she is physically with me and she is there doing things to me and with me but it is a fantasy nonetheless because if I end up liking her very much and "connecting" and "clicking" with her, I become far too afraid.

I become afraid simply because when the fantasy ends, I'm back in my own real lonely world.

All of us have heard the age-old cliche that it is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I'm beginning to suspect that, for me anyways, it may be better for me not to have loved at all than to have loved and lost.

I am not talking about falling in love with my lady of the hour. No. I am not talking about that.

What I am talking about is that I am scared of making that emotional connection only to find, later on, that things must end.

Am I making sense?

Yes? No?

Maybe?

I love too much and I fall in love too easily and I do not want to end up being "left behind". I do not want to wake up one day and find out that the person--or persons or people--I care about are gone from my life.

I suppose I try to protect myself from hurt by trying, deliberately, to distance myself emotionally from people. When these people are gone from my life, then the pain I feel due to their absence is not as unbearable.

So sad, really.

Great post......your not alone.....

 

[HankQuinlan]

Someday, I hope to be married... not for a t least 4 years though.
I have no desire to be in a relationship at all, right now.

When I am ready, I will be out of the business - as I am into monogamy. Hopefully, my future husband is too! lol I'm certain that my future husband/relationship will be a non-client... and completely alien to the world of professional companionship.

As I plan on being retired when I enter into marriage/a relationship, it is doubtful he will be a client. I have met some pretty awesome clients though... who were good looking, or wonderful people. In an ideal world, my future suitor would be ok with my past... but in reality, few men can handle it. I think I will be forced to have to lie about my past - and this will be difficult, as I have been in and out of the industry for so long.

You will never be able to be sure that your future husband is "completely alien to the world of professional companionship." Everybody lies about something.

I know very few men that I suspect haven't at least been to a massage parlour for a happy ending, but I do know a couple that I am pretty sure have not....and one of them is a pretty nice guy by any standard.

 

[CaraClementine]

You will never be able to be sure that your future husband is "completely alien to the world of professional companionship." Everybody lies about something.

I know very few men that I suspect haven't at least been to a massage parlour for a happy ending, but I do know a couple that I am pretty sure have not....and one of them is a pretty nice guy by any standard.

Yes - you are absolutely right! I do think it depends on where you live, also. I suspect the rate of those that seek out the services of a professional is higher here in Vancouver, than in Victoria for instance. People make more money here in Vancouver, than on the island (higher cost of living here, too though.. Victoria is on the rise, thought too). I lived on the island a long time, and there were times in my life when I was not an SP, and no one had a clue. It seemed to me, that professional companionship is more accepted here in Vancouver.

If my future husband is someone who has paid for personal services, then he would more likely to be accepting of my world, than someone who has never paid. Marriage is about sharing yourself... and although there will be some things unsaid - you should be able to share most things. My involvement in the escort industry would be a pretty big secret I would rather not have to keep!

 

[87112]

My only dating/relationship with a SP ending up with me being cheated on for months. I gave faith to her that this industry would not taint her to be wild at heart more than a non working girl but I was wrong. Found out by her roommate.

 

[melissa.in.abby]

My only dating/relationship with a SP ending up with me being cheated on for months. I gave faith to her that this industry would not taint her to be wild at heart more than a non working girl but I was wrong. Found out by her roommate.

I have to say this industry has the opposite effect on me

I was a bit a wild child.... yawn.... lol