So tyrone james, u been married for 15 years but u and ur wife are not having sex. I read about couples married for 10 years and longer and don't get much sex, just as u described. IMO a sex free marraige would be a friendship. I'm gonna give u some free advice here but if it doesn't work out, not my responsibility. Why don't u and ur wife try talking about fantasies u 2 have about each other or positions u wanna try out? Try appreciating each other and maybe just have a talk about your sex life. Askmen.com. Menshealth.com. Go to these 2 sites they may help u out. Another thing u should try is do non-sexual activities such as walks, working out together, bowling, ice skating etc. This may bring u closer together.
So just what are YOU paying for?
- Thread starter maroonedsailor
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King, It is nice for you to suggest all of these very reasonable things but I've been down this path for a long time and done it all. Every relationship is a complex thing and there are many factors in the background that I only discuss in private settings. Here's one of many examples. . ... When I went through clinical depression her response, "I'm not responsible for your happiness". IMO that's like telling a drowning person they should have taken swimming lessons. In the last year I haven't heard / read anything new that we haven't tried / discussed many times before and it's always me trying her activities never the other way around. I really do mean never.
I have already learned a tremendous amount and made some major decisions. One of the things that wasn't unexpected. . ... the vast majority of my time I spent simply talking during my first and second session.
Damn now I have to read through 10 pages to see if there were any other responses directed at myself.
This was very much about self discovery more than anything else and it was a whole lot more fun than paying a therapist, which I've also done. From my first two sessions with the same lady it was far far easier for me than I ever expected and perhaps that's giving credit to the person I saw. I'm not sure if the reasons were meds related or psychological, the actual sexual activity was limited and most of my time was spent talking. There are various reasons in my background that make relationships with women difficult for myself. . ..
So right now I'm paying for self discovery and some sort of "therapy" in removing obstacles to all ways in which I relate and interact with women.
So right now I'm paying for self discovery and some sort of "therapy" in removing obstacles to all ways in which I relate and interact with women.
My answers try to consider some things not repeated over and over again, yet still very important!
(a) selection (were there but one girl out there, and a line around the lower mainland to fuck her, there wouldn't be much beyond the appeal of the sexual release (done to the sound of the next guy pounding at the door)
(b) consent (a woman agreeing to sex is among the more enchanting experiences of life - and because money and sex/love are so seldom calibrated to one another, it's easy to downplay that pure money purchased that agreement)
(c) an outlook (in a girl) which is used to playing-through bouts of self-consciousness, and who will conduct herself as a confident, purposeful sexual companion for the agreed-upon time period.
(by the way, sometimes that last part translates to "rushed, solely for the money")
There is just something so different about offsetting her lack of will/desire for having sex with me with the money she charges to do so, and then spending time in the company of a woman during which the air is not heavy with the uncertainty about whether or not we'll be having sex before the night is through. To pick up a working girl in my car and then drive off toward a rented motel room brings with it an environment wherein both sides reasonably expect how their time will be shared. (that unlike the time after even some of the more successful social dates, where 'negotiation' is always prominent in the air)
