Sexism at the border - I'm sorry but this is despicable!!

Miss*Bijou

Sexy Troublemaker
Nov 9, 2006
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You don't even have to actually be a working girl to be denied entry for being one. Don't even bring condoms with you either! What bullshit. It doesn't get any more stupid than that. I haven't been to (or through) US customs since 2001 and this doesn't make me want to change that any time soon!




Sexism at the border: A personal account

BY CLAY NIKIFORUK | APRIL 1, 2013


What do you do when you're detained by powerful officials, everything you say is presumed deceptive, arbitrary "evidence" is held against you, and you're treated like a moral deviant? And what if its 2013, you're a woman, and the "evidence" is that you possess condoms?

It happened three times in two weeks -- being detained by U.S. border officials on my way to or through the States.

First I was held by Vermont border guards for two hours in the middle of the night on my way to visit Nashville. They searched my bags at least five times. I could not help but notice how often my lingerie and “sexy underwear” were mentioned, how often the condoms they found were looked upon scathingly, and how most of the four male officers’ questions pertained to both. I was baffled as to why this was any of their business and unsure of what their objective was, other than fondling lady’s undergarments. In the end, having nothing to go on, they gave me a limited stay visa of two weeks and let me go – at 3am in the middle of nowhere. I missed my bus and my plane, had to pay for a $90 taxi to the nearest airport and then book a new flight the next morning.

The next time it happened was two weeks later in Montreal's airport. After scanning my passport, without being asked a single question, I was immediately led to a back waiting room. When I was summoned into an office, the officer cut to the chase: "How much is he paying you to go on this trip?" He was referring to the man I was travelling with.

Confused, I just stared back at him for a few beats.

"N-nothing?"

The next question was whether this man was married or not. The answer, unfortunately for me, was yes. He asked whether I was planning on sharing a hotel bed with this man. I'm not one to sugar coat things and decided that now would not be a particularly good time to be found lying. Again, I answered yes. Righteous, the officer demanded what exactly I was doing in a bed with a married man.

"That's actually none of your business."

I had kicked the hornet's nest. Inflamed, he raised his voice at me that it was his business and that adultery was a crime in America -- a crime that he could deny me entry for. He made me tell him my partner's name and date of birth and threatened to detain him, too. I pointed out that we would be in Miami for a total of forty minutes to catch our next flight to Aruba; hardly enough time to run to our gate, let alone commit adultery. The next thing I knew he was searching my bags, pulling out condoms and waving them in my face.

"I could have you charged with being a working girl! The proof is right here!"

All I could do is shake my head. This can't be real.

"This is absurd," I murmured. But he was on a roll.

"You want me to call his wife? I'll tell her!"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"She knows."

He stormed off again, leaving me shaking. When he finally emerged from an office, he held my passport and tickets in hand. He told me he was letting me go "this time" because I had told the truth. But that I was an educated woman and should change my life to reflect that. I blinked at him.

"What?"

He looked at me meaningfully and repeated himself. I nodded, eyes downcast as if I was taking his moralizing into serious consideration, and took my documents. I was afraid that he would change his mind otherwise. Later, after a very short internet search, I found that adultery isn’t illegal in Florida, and even if I had been paid for the trip, mixing sexual and non-sexual activities constitutes a relationship and therefore makes any money exchanged a very legal gift under the law. Traveling together to Aruba to get away from cold Montreal, I would think, signals a non-sexual activity.

A few days in the sun later, it was time to face the same routine but in the Aruban airport. Again, I would be spending all of an hour in Miami’s international airport and then carrying on to my home in Montreal. This time I had left the condoms behind. But it was too late – there was a detailed profile of me, in which my nefarious condom-carrying behaviour was noted. Again, I was told to sit and wait for further questioning.

I watched as my entire flight's passengers whizzed through customs in front of me. I was shaking. By the time someone got around to questioning me, I was told my flight was leaving.

I was detained, yelled at, patted down, fingerprinted, interrogated, searched, moved from room to room and person to person without food, water or being told what was going on for what seemed like forever. Just as I thought they were tiring of me and going to refuse me entry but at least let me back into Aruba, a ‘Bad Cop’ type took me to a distant, isolated office and yelled at me that I was full of shit. He had found information online that in the last couple of years I had been modelling and acting. This, he concluded, was special code for sex work, and I was never going to enter the U.S.A. ever again. I tried not to laugh and cry at the same time. I told him I'm currently writing a book on the sociology of sexual assault.

"Are you looking to be sexually assaulted?"

I blinked at him. I couldn't breathe.

"Was that meant to be funny?"

"No, it wasn't."

"Ah, no. I'm definitely not."

"Well, it sure seems like you are."

"... How so?"

He wouldn't elaborate.

I was with the U.S. officials for six hours. After two more hours put through the wringer with Aruban immigration, I was finally let go back into Aruba. I was told that if I even so much as approached the U.S. border again without a waiver I would be banned from the country for five years. My partner and I, both shaken, had to book a new flight to Canada that didn’t pass through the U.S. (approximately $900) and a hotel for an extra two days until that flight.

For me, carrying my own condoms (in purses, wallets, camera bags; everywhere) is a routine act towards safer sex. For someone else with the power to not only deny passage but judge, moralize and intimidate, it has become enough evidence to put a woman through hell. My story has brought a number of women out of the woodwork stating that they have had similar experiences.

Whether border guards are copying police in New York and their condoms-as-evidence-of-prostitution model, or are simply so stuck in their gender stereotyping that a woman with condoms can’t be a good person (“We’ve been told that there’s nothing good about you,” said one Aruban official), I’m also not sure.

I do know I won’t be travelling for some time, until my name is cleared. Or until the puritanical, power-tripping, slut-shaming witch hunt is over. I won’t hold my breath for either.



http://rabble.ca/news/2013/04/sexism-border-personal-account
 

Miss*Bijou

Sexy Troublemaker
Nov 9, 2006
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I have had zero problem with US Border Officers and I absolutely love going to the US. If you think going through Canadian Customs is a treat, you're fooling yourself.
Oh I wasn't aware you were a woman. Well if you crossed the border carrying condoms without any problem, you are either a very lucky woman or..... a man!

Lol all joking aside, I'm happy for you that you've had no problem but what does that have to do with these women's experiences? Because you personally (and as a man) haven't had any problem then it doesn't matter what others have experienced??

And I havent heard this sort of story about Canadian border Officers but can guarantee you I'd be just as pissed off at them if I heard the same type of story about them.
 

Miss*Bijou

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Nov 9, 2006
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I don't wanna argue with you but I will just say...The Americans have always been easier to deal with than the Canadians (since they got guns). Come into YVR and get asked the same stupid questions by 3 different customs agents after you've already gone through customs and then get back to me. YVR is over kill central now but we all just have to grin and suck it up. It is what it is and nothing we can do about it.

PS....what was in the story shouldn't happen to any lady but border guards have a lot of power and if you get an idiot, you get an idiot. It's luck of the draw.
Well, no actually it's not one idiot. It's several of them, a detailed record flagging her as a prostitute so that she gets to be pulled aside, accused of being a prostitute I wonder what happened to her travel partner while she was held for hours? Can't know for sure but it sure doesn't sound like he got the same humiliation, intimidation, threats and treatment. Who knows, maybe he got accused of being a gigolo with a couple of winks and a pat on the back.

Anyway, thanks for not getting it. Maybe they should start performing virginity tests too.

I'm glad we are in agreement that of course it shouldn't happen to anyone, that's the whole point. Just because border guards have a lot of power doesn't mean we need to accept it without condemning it.
 

badbadboy

Well-known member
Nov 2, 2006
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Plenty of red flags for the Immigration officials with the US. Buy your condoms locally and buy some new lingerie locally too. Remove any emails or pics from your phone that could be incriminating and state your only purpose of travel is tourism. Never say you are meeting a married man at a hotel while on travel. That just upsets the BillyBobs of the USA. Use common sense and be as plain jane as possible.

I have been in the secondary inspection three times. Twice while on business and once while going to Vegas. On business they had no right and finally admitted as such since I had a work visa and then I was going to Vegas I declared all the cash on hand with me and that made them ask more questions. I was eventually let go but rather than risk confiscation, I admitted I had more than $10K on my person.

Remember these are postal employees with weapons and they can be incredible assholes if given the chance.
 

Miss*Bijou

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Nov 9, 2006
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Plenty of red flags for the Immigration officials with the US. Buy your condoms locally and buy some new lingerie locally too. Remove any emails or pics from your phone that could be incriminating and state your only purpose of travel is tourism. Never say you are meeting a married man at a hotel while on travel. That just upsets the BillyBobs of the USA. Use common sense and be as plain jane as possible.

I have been in the secondary inspection three times. Twice while on business and once while going to Vegas. On business they had no right and finally admitted as such since I had a work visa and then I was going to Vegas I declared all the cash on hand with me and that made them ask more questions. I was eventually let go but rather than risk confiscation, I admitted I had more than $10K on my person.

Remember these are postal employees with weapons and they can be incredible assholes if given the chance.

But she's not even a working girl. Should the Canadian government put all this travel advice on their website, airlines tell their female passengers to leave all condoms and lingerie in Canada and to lie about the identity of their travel partner unless they have a marriage certificate with both of their names on it? What about 2 men travelling together, say one older, possibly married, potentially well off and the other one young and gay. If the younger one had condoms in his suitcase, do you suppose he would get the same treatment this woman did?

The average woman could very easily do all of these things. Afterall she's going to the US, not Saudi Arabia. Well I hope you will all explain to your sisters, friends, cousins, mothers and female colleagues how not to get flagged and denied entry to the US for being prostitutes!
 

bcneil

I am from BC
Aug 24, 2007
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You sure like to be condescending.
She got you!

The whole point of this thread is so MB can lash out at any man who dare reply, since how do you know? Your not a woman.
Yet she is the expert, even though she hasn't crossed the border herself in 12 years. When she was 18.
Considering the site is 99% male, seems trollish.

I personally, even though I am male, have had zero problems entering the states, 200 plus times and counting.
 
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87112

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
3,692
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*&^%
I am a USA citizen and even with a Nexus card get called in for questioning. Honestly does not work, I tell them I just want to get away by myself for a day or two and they ask Why? Like being by yourself is a serious offense, so now I lie. Works better anything but saying you want peace by yourself and a long drive from Seattle.

Oh yeah my lie is I am visiting a old college friend.
 
Apr 13, 2009
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As despicable as this is, what was described here is not a sexual discrimination problem, it's an abuse of authority problem. I've had the same thing happen to me many times with the American gestapo (customs, border patrol). And I'm an American (male) living in the US close enough to see the border from my home. I cross all the time, so I'm well aware of the procedures and well aware of what to say and not to say. Yet I have personally received the same type of abuse more than once and have many friends who also have had these problems. It's just the excuses for the abuse that change. I often wonder if the border nazis have any idea of how much hatred there is toward them among the common, law abiding, descent citizens in border towns such as Blaine, Sumas, Lynden, etc. The local nickname for the Peace Arch Crossing is "Checkpoint Charlie". One person who shares this hatred is even a retired policeman, so he should be part of the "brotherhood". Yet he has suffered the same abuse and hates them as much as anyone does. I have never in my life seen the hatred toward any law enforcement authorities anywhere that I have seen toward the border people. Even when I lived in Los Angeles for many years, the Los Angeles street gangs didn't hate the LAPD as much as descent law abiding citizens in Washington border towns hate the American customs and border patrol agents.

Believe me, there was NOTHING ok with what happened to this lady. But it is not a women's only issue. It is an issue of abuse of power toward all people.
 

ThisEndUp

mort à l'entente
Their country, their laws, their rules

She's obviously on their radar for something, hell maybe she posts blogs or other rants on the internet???

Of course there could have been other issues at the border, seen a lot of "entitiled" or "superior" people and others with an "attitude" and still others with a "victim mentality", "trouble with authority" or a hate on for men ;)

Amazing how mouthy they get, there are rules, either follow them or don't bother going
 

visiting

Active member
Oct 23, 2005
999
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right behind you!
I don't agree with Hunka, when I return into Canada I feel like it's a picnic compared to the USA. In the USA they can lie to you, not so in Canada, There have been many cases of entrapment.---> (click here for link to info.)

I travel a fair amount, and rarely have issues with customs agents, but find when traveling by car, the US agents are way more agreesive, and they have lied to me a few times, never been an issue at an airport. Canadian customs, I have never lied to me, and yes they have searched me a few times.

Honda....
For me, Nexus is much faster, has saved me hours! But I do admit in the USA it doesn't work as well, as there is a new program every few months, now those on the global entry or some other list don't have to take thier belt & shoes off, and they have a special line... But coming back into Canada it's awesome!!! Heck you can even use the Nexus card for Canadian flights. (priority screening, at some of the major airports)


I guess I just look so dam honest compared to all you fuckers that have problems with customs on either side..:peace:
 

Miss*Bijou

Sexy Troublemaker
Nov 9, 2006
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You sure like to be condescending.
It's called sarcasm. I don't know where you got condescending from.

Condescending:
Acting in a way that betrays a feeling of patronizing superiority.


What would I have a feeling of patronizing superiority about? It has nothing to do with feeling superior or patronizing, it has to do with feeling frustrated that whenever I post something I don't think anyone could possibly not agree with because it's so obvious, I'm shocked when that is what actually happens. Actually, it's a mix of frustration and being upset by the total indifference, or what feels like indifference. I think it is so uncool.

But as I said in that last paragraph, I am glad we agree. So why are we arguing? - is what I am confused about. Instead of coming out and posting a reply that sympathized with the woman, or with women in general for being subjected to this kind of despicable shit, you responded with a dismissal of the whole thing because you've "never had a problem" therefore it's not as bad and Canadian officers are much worse.

What do you expect me to respond to that? Oh, you're right, since you've never had a problem then this woman and others who've received the same treatment don't know what the hell they're talking about and it's the Canadian border guards they should be complaining about - even if she clearly didn't report having any problems when she returned on either one of her trips -


What in fact appeared patronizing was your dismissal of the blatantly sexist and totally unacceptable misogyny of government officials because it doesn't affect you. Is it truly impossible for any of you to realize and understand how that sort of attitude can appear?


But I wonder if that reaction (or lack of) is due to it being someone you don't personally know. What if it was your sister/girlfriend/friend? Is that what you guys would say to her after she was done telling you her upsetting experience? "I've never had any problem at the US border, it's the Canadians that are really bad - trust me." Can you picture the look she would give you? (It would not be a very friendly one - trust me. LOL)


To me, it just seems like an example that is so blatant and obvious that I assumed anyone, man or woman, could only be disgusted and incensed by this. And that while men could not personally relate because that would never happen to them, they would be angered partly because they realized that would never happen to them (hello, privilege) and because they could immediately imagine women they care about in their own lives being incredibly upset and angry about the same happening to them. Apparently I was totally wrong about that and instead the response was a mix of dismissing the whole thing and absolving the US border police because 1) you have never had any problems, specifically problems receiving sexist treatment etc. 2) it was only one idiot - which was clearly not the case as this involved several different officers, in 3 separate locations.


I find it frustrating that you do not see the irony of your comment essentially dismissing the whole thing because you can't relate to it personally. Considering it would or could never happen to you because it is something that is only done to women. Can you not understand how that might be perceived?
 

Miss*Bijou

Sexy Troublemaker
Nov 9, 2006
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I'm a woman and I agree with this statement. US customs are better for US citizens, and Canadian customs for Canadian citizens.

As far as this being sexism? Reaching. Solicitation is a crime in 49 states (and only legal in parts of the 50th), and a conviction priority, so therefore it's one of the things they're told to look for. It's also working illegally and if you've paid attention to 'Murica you KNOW how they feels about illegal workers - whether it's Mexicans selling oranges or Canadian working girls spreading their legs. Illegal work is still illegal work.

Does it suck it happens to be women? But guess what, this profession is mostly women. So yes. We will be targeted when we cross international borders where we violate the law. If you don't enjoy it, then you have the right to stay in your own country and not go into one where you do not like the rules.

Are you kidding me?
She's not a working girl and broke no law. WTF.

How could you even say it's not sexist? How would you define sexist then?
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
4,101
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your GF's panties
As a single male traveller to Thailand I've experienced similar harassment returning to Canada.

I've been subject to lengthy interrogation & search sessions 4 times after arrival at Vancouver airport, and one interrogation session near the boarding depot on my way out.

Fortunately a few of the people in uniform were females, kinda hot, & the price was right. I didn't inquire into BB services.

L 7.5
A 0.0
S 0.0
 

Popoff

Member
Apr 5, 2011
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Playing the devils advocate here.

We are only hearing one side of the story. This girl seems to consistently have problems with crossing the border.
Traveling to or though the US is not a right.

She's not a working girl
How does the border guard know this?
 

badbadboy

Well-known member
Nov 2, 2006
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But she's not even a working girl. Should the Canadian government put all this travel advice on their website, airlines tell their female passengers to leave all condoms and lingerie in Canada and to lie about the identity of their travel partner unless they have a marriage certificate with both of their names on it? What about 2 men travelling together, say one older, possibly married, potentially well off and the other one young and gay. If the younger one had condoms in his suitcase, do you suppose he would get the same treatment this woman did?

The average woman could very easily do all of these things. Afterall she's going to the US, not Saudi Arabia. Well I hope you will all explain to your sisters, friends, cousins, mothers and female colleagues how not to get flagged and denied entry to the US for being prostitutes!
You might not like it but that is the way it is.

I had a GF who came down to Seattle to spend the w/e with me. She had her toys and condoms with her and got the same treatment. She spent six hours in secondary inspection being grilled over it.

She was not a SP.

Go ahead fight the system and get in arguments with people here. You won't change jack shit. That is the way it is.
 

vancity_cowboy

hard riding member
Jan 27, 2008
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on yer ignore list
not saying anything about the writer, BUT... any story written under the dateline April 1, is, in my opinion, VERY suspect... just sayin' :)
 

the old maxx50

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Dec 22, 2010
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If you are single ...male or female there is always a chance of geting questioned by custom
If you are a family or elderly its usually a walk through

At least that how it was 20 something years ago the ladt time i traveled out side Canada
I realy hsve very little intrest to go to any other country alone
And condidering the girls i like are sexy single and 25 to 30 yrs younger
We would def get stopped if we admited tobe traveling compnions .
As for yhe rest i am taking notes
NO cell phones at least notwith any pictures friend numbers
Buy my condoms where i stay and leave them there
And dont take to much bagage
 

the old maxx50

New member
Dec 22, 2010
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And the best tjinh is just dont travel to the US
Take direct flights from Canada to where you want to go
and pay the exster
 
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