Sex for money (and the damage to the spirit): Musings of an sp

[SPinVic]

Massagegirl I totally respect what you have said, as well as everyone else. You have made choices based on what you are comfortable with. That is great. I feel for the people in this world that do things to themselves that hurt their heart and soul. As for the nature of this business, well, we all sell ourselves every day. In my day job, my boss pays me to provide a service, using my education and experience and in the night time, I am paid to provide a service using my "education and experience" Either way I am paid to do my job.

I love being intimate with a man. It would feel odd for me to not kiss and be completely together. For me to have all those restrictions would make this job unbareable for me. You have to be realistic about the difference between lust and love. You can have lust, you can have love and if you are very lucky you can have both.

Bottom line is to know your own restrictions and work within them. Enjoy what you do, whether you are a brick layer, doctor or escort etc.....

 

[Morrigan]

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for their feedback and opinions on the interview. Secondly, I would like to point out that, no, I don't really care if anyone knows it was me or not. Thirdly, I think most of you are taking this far too seriously. Ringo Wilde e-mailed me and asked me several questions which I answered honestly. Not all of the Q & As made it into the column and most of what did has been edited. I have never had a problem speaking my truth, but it seems that alot of people have a problem with me doing it. I told Ringo that I didn't care one way or the other if he put my alias in with the column. He opted not to. Now, the inevitable explanitory process (I'm sure some of you are wanting one). I do like my job. I have never said otherwise. I don't deny that it has negative effects on my wellbeing from time to time, but those are not often. And usually a direct result of a bad date or rude phone call. I get a few jerk offs who seem to have nothing better to do than leave rude messages on my phone and try to get me to rise into a screaming match whilst antagonizing me verbally. Whoever you are, karma will kick your ass and all I have to do is sit back and enjoy. Those whom I don't really want to spend my time with are the ones who are rude, intoxicated, domineering men who we all come across now and then. Being with guys like that makes my day hard. Anyone in the service biz knows what I'm talking about. But I don't let a few assholes ruin the whole kit-and-kaboodle. That's called being unfair, and there can be alot said about me, but being dishonest or unfair ain't it. I do see alot of men who have wedding bands on their left hands, and yes, it does make me wonder about the overall integrity of modern marriage (statistics don't help much either) but I have never said that I am bitter and hateful. Those are things some of you inferred. Its disheartening, and makes me go hmmmm but it will never stop me from loving or being loved. I am not that weak hearted/spirited. Massagegirl did a great job of explaining some things. Morals play a huge part in being an SP. I have strong beliefs and morals and try my best to uphold them. Sometimes I feel like I am crossing my own figurative line, and then I have to work through it until I feel like I have reached a balance once more. Everyone needs to find the balance between what they have and what they want, what they are and who they want to be, sorrow and joy. Life is all about balance, and sometimes we lose our equilibrium for a moment or two. There's nothing wrong with that. Think what you will about what I have to say. I have never expected everyone to agree with it. People just aren't wired that way. And as for it affecting my buisiness.... I'm not worried. Why? Because I can't control that. I never worry about that which I have no control over. So if what I have to say makes you not want to see me, that's fine, I hope your experiences with other ladies are good ones. And if what I have to say only intrigues you further, fine. We can have a nice chat about whatever you want. That's the one danger with me.... you ask a question, and you're gonna get the answer. Might not be the one you're lookin' for, but you're gonna get it anyhow.....
So be careful what you ask

 

[spaceghost]

That's the one danger with me.... you ask a question, and you're gonna get the answer. Might not be the one you're lookin' for, but you're gonna get it anyhow....

Hey Panny... Is Hipster a doofus or what?

 

[HoweeMeeker]

OMIGOD

I don't cheat.

I don't value sex above a relationship, far from it. I could spin you a long and sad tale of unrequited love and noble self sacrifice, all without a happy ending... but really, no one wants to hear it.

I would love to have love. I do not demand physical perfection, or even great physical beauty. I don't have strict religious, financial, or ethnic requirements. In crude terms, I'm not "picky"

I have female friends, so I don't think I am a total scumbag with a venemous personality.

Perhaps I'm ugly.

Perhaps I'm poor.

Perhaps I just don't smell right.

I am not what women want in a mate, whatever it is that may be.

I go to escorts because I cannot live and remain sane without some warmth, some touch, some soft caress and whisper in the dark. I go to escorts because I will not lie to someone and lead them on simply for that. I go to escorts because I can salvage my sanity and preserve some small shred of personal honour.

I go to escorts knowing they would not bother with me if they were not being paid. I know they find me no more desirable or attractive than does any other woman.

I know that some of them seem uncomfortable, indeed repulsed. I know that some of them later list all the things they do not want to see in a client, and their list describes me. I know that this is the last thing I want, to cause other's discomfort, and it hurts me greatly.

I know that good or bad, after I leave eventually the realization will resurface that I am a man that must pay for the illusion of affection. That I am somehow, in some way , so unworthy of a woman's love that I must pay strangers to pretend they like me.

And the bitter ashes of that corrode even the strongest soul.

Wow. Deep and very sad to read. I thought it was about getting laid when one was between girlfriends and didn't want the head games or ties of a relationship. Another scenario is that it is too much effort to get dressed, out to a club/outing and put in the paperwork. Perhaps you meet someone nice, perhaps you just meet a good bone jump but it is hit/miss which is fine if you are in a gambling mood but getting laid without any baggage is sometimes very good for clearing the head.

Reading the above made me wonder, how many of you are that sad? Quite depressing actually. Thought about getting a dog? (SERIOUSLY!).

 

[wolverine]

Re: OMIGOD

Reading the above made me wonder, how many of you are that sad? Quite depressing actually.

Start another topic or poll on this. The answers may surprise you.

 

[brianwarner]

Sex is a sporting activity 90% of the time. The best SPs are the ones who do it for the love of sporting, and money 2nd. Many get sex and intimacy mixed up. You don't need sex to make love.

 

[yoniluvrca]

The Destruction of a Soul

Can a Soul really be destroyed? I used to think so but now I am not so sure. I guess it depends upon how you see the Soul. As a thing that you possess certainly it can appear to be splintered by the day to day occurrences of a life. A shift of perspective though and you become that which is apparently splintered-or rather you become the splinter which is a part of the whole. Souls are holographic in nature-meaning each part contains the whole. We are all of us splintered only in that we do not always see that we are part of the whole-it is a limited perspective from which we have been taught to live. Jesus, Mohammed, the Buddha, Lao Tzu, Socrates, Gurdieff and others have known this absolutely and have tried to teach the rest of us with varying degrees of success.

On a practical level I would say that anyone who is doing anything that they know is somehow out of alignment with who there are-only in that moment-is destroying some part of themselves. And there is nothing really wrong with this except that it does not feel very nice-and in some cases causes extreme pain. To M I would say that you are not responsible for the choices made by the men who pay you to have sex. You are only responsible for the choices that you make. And ultimately you are not even responsible for those-just see that they are happening and ask yourself if you can not be more in alignment with what you know in your heart.

It is a much easier way to live.

YL

 

[steve austin]

This was an excellent statement:

In If you're spending a couple of hundred dollars on a sp and find that in return she truly loves her job, chances are you're in Thailand or Mexico. If you're spending a couple hundred in North America, you're kidding yourself if you think that she "loves" it. I don't think this interview should come as any big surprise.

Compare mangoes with pine cones. There, you have it.

 

[brianwarner]

yoniluvrca:
"Can a Soul really be destroyed? I used to think so but now I am not so sure"

Consider this: the soul exists. The inner conscience is an element of the soul. Creativity is another element of the soul. There are other elements. The existence of the soul is a sign of the existence of a higher order of life, some would say, the existance of a supreme being and creator. Many know their soul by sensing their inner conscience. Others know their soul in the practice of making music. The soul is not destroyed. Instead, your rational self, which exists primarily in this world, separates itself from the soul. Those who commit heinous crimes, such as the murder of children, have their rational selves separated from their souls. They have no ability to touch their conscience. The rational self is the primary identifier in all beings of flesh and blood. It is the "I AM" of self. It is the "I EXIST TO SURVIVE, AND SURVIVE TO EXIST" of self. It is the "I MUST REGENERATE" in the procreation of self. It seeks the maximum gains for the minimum effort. It ultimately identifies everything around you as objects to serve these purposes. You may allow your rational self to severe the connection to the soul. Some do it through drugs, alcohol, and other forms of disorientation. Others do it by focussing on the needs of the rational self above all else. Yet others do it by seeking evil.

Those who claim that they partake in paid sex and it is hurting their "souls" or "spirits" have it partly right, but they are confused. They refer to the inability to trust, etc. They are not destroying part of themselves, but instead are destroying the connection to their own souls. Strengthen the connection to your soul, and thus perceive paid intimacy differently. That's my advice.

 

[HoweeMeeker]

Wow, really sad!

I don't cheat.

I don't value sex above a relationship, far from it. I could spin you a long and sad tale of unrequited love and noble self sacrifice, all without a happy ending... but really, no one wants to hear it.

I would love to have love. I do not demand physical perfection, or even great physical beauty. I don't have strict religious, financial, or ethnic requirements. In crude terms, I'm not "picky"

I have female friends, so I don't think I am a total scumbag with a venemous personality.

Perhaps I'm ugly.

Perhaps I'm poor.

Perhaps I just don't smell right.

I am not what women want in a mate, whatever it is that may be.

I go to escorts because I cannot live and remain sane without some warmth, some touch, some soft caress and whisper in the dark. I go to escorts because I will not lie to someone and lead them on simply for that. I go to escorts because I can salvage my sanity and preserve some small shred of personal honour.

I go to escorts knowing they would not bother with me if they were not being paid. I know they find me no more desirable or attractive than does any other woman.

I know that some of them seem uncomfortable, indeed repulsed. I know that some of them later list all the things they do not want to see in a client, and their list describes me. I know that this is the last thing I want, to cause other's discomfort, and it hurts me greatly.

I know that good or bad, after I leave eventually the realization will resurface that I am a man that must pay for the illusion of affection. That I am somehow, in some way , so unworthy of a woman's love that I must pay strangers to pretend they like me.

And the bitter ashes of that corrode even the strongest soul.

I thought it was about getting laid between girlfriends to avoid relationship baggage. Your post is REALLY sad. I never stopped to think of it from people with that perception on life.

 

[HoweeMeeker]

Re: Re: OMIGOD

Start another topic or poll on this. The answers may surprise you.

I would find it too depressing. I suspect there are WAY more sad people out there than I would care to guess at. First rule for sad people should be - through away the keyboard for a few months and get acquainted with real world. Just a theory.