selfish bastard

aznboi9

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Here Be Monsters

BS Detector

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I know I’d be choked if I asked a friend to help me move and he said “sure”, but only if I change the oil in his car. (I would not be choked, on the other hand, if he said sure, and maybe after the move we can change the oil in his car). I’d also be choked if after the move he announced that since he had help me move, I owed him an oil change that must be delivered next Saturday at 10:00 a.m.
I totally agree. It s not so much what you say but how you say it. Some might ask, "What's the difference" but some see a huge difference. I guess you and fall into the latter group.
 

BS Detector

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I’m assuming that VV would come to the assistance of a friend if asked to do so in a conventional sence (i.e.: cut his hair; make a casserole if he had guests coming over and needed to feed them; help with decorating ideas for a new apartment; file his income tax return; or change the oil in his car) if she had the knowledge and ability to do so.
I think she would have too. I think that we have to keep in mind that women see sex (blowjobs included unless you are an ex-president) differently than guys, even SP's I think).
 

SexyBoy

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How about V day is it a day to give from the heart or about sex?

I think it is about both and that material items should not play a huge role.
 

BS Detector

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How about V day is it a day to give from the heart or about sex?
Are you differentiating between making love and having sex?

If 'yes', I agree it is about bot.
If 'no', then I think it is about romance
 

totravel

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Called up a friend the other day for help hanging a chandelier. While he was over he told me he was going to make a cover for my electrical panel as well. Um, okay i said..a little confused with his random generosity. Anyway, he comes back the next day, screws the panel in & asks for a bj. :eek: I told him no but i'll gladly pay. He got all bent outta shape & left pouting. What is up with that?! Is that the sperm retention disorder that Vanessa Kelly talks about..the male version of pms?

When i help someone out or give a gift it's absolutely altruistic. Has nothing to do with obligation, ego or self interest. I think most women are like this as well..we are born to nurture (and shop:)) whereas men..scoring seems to be a major pre-occupation.

What does the perb gallery think? With V-day fast approaching, will you be gifting from the heart or the heads?
I agree that he should have been clear in his motives/expectations at the outset.
When he said he would make an electrical panel cover was when VV should have asked him (since by her own admission she was "confused with his random generosity") what said additional work was worth.
It went beyond her original request to simply hang a chandelier, which involved only the use of his time and tools.

Another issue here is VV taking issue with his BJ request.
From his point of view he likely thought she would be glad to give him that instead of cash (assuming he knows the business she's in) and she sounds annoyed that he trivialized her work.

What was value of the work he did versus the value of the BJ?
 

BS Detector

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How about V day
I think that material items should not play a huge role.
Totally agree. Add Christmas to that list too.
 

SexyBoy

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Are you differentiating between making love and having sex?

If 'yes', I agree it is about bot.
If 'no', then I think it is about romance
I wasn't differentiating between making love or sex.

Is there a real differance between the two?

Who really can have just sex over and over again with no emotion?
 

BS Detector

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When he said he would make an electrical panel cover was when VV should have asked him (since by her own admission she was "confused with his random generosity") what said additional work was worth.
I don't think she should be blamed for not asking as it sounded like he offered but I'm sure she will from this point forward ask next time someone offers do to her a "favour."
 

BS Detector

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BS Detector

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I wasn't differentiating between making love or sex.

Is there a real difference between the two?

Who really can have just sex over and over again with no emotion?
To answer that, I'd be guilty of hijacking this thread lol.
 

chilli

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Jul 25, 2005
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I would never call a friend a "selfish bastard".

Poor guy.

Who needs friends like you??????
 
P

perbertt

I would never call a friend a "selfish bastard".

Poor guy.

Who needs friends like you??????
I guess you have demonstrated here many times that you have no scruple.

You would ask Mother Theresa on her death bed to blow you if she was the only female around.
 

SexyBoy

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I guess you have demonstrated here many times that you have no scruple.

You would ask Mother Theresa on her death bed to blow you if she was the only female around.
 

Mr Blonde

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well you know what they say. if someone makes you an electrical cover and demands a blow job in payment, you refuse and never see him again....it was probably worth it. ;)

but seriously though. i'll assume the guy is a tradesman, and that's how they work. i've done restorations on cars in exchange for my kitchen being remodeled, rebuilt a motor in exchange for a hot water heater, etc. there are tradesman out there who have built and or remodeled their entire homes solely on exchanging jobs in their field of specialty. it's an ethical thing, and like everything else in the world one bad apple spoils the whole damn bunch. if he's like some other bad apples i've met, later on in the day he was bitching about it (and getting empathy too) in a pub somewhere.

all things considered, friend or not the guy is a douche bag. and it sounds cold, but with what i do, i don't even do work for friends or family any more. in any capacity. the trouble just isn't worth it. i'll forward it off to a colleague, and pick up part of the bill myself if i have to. just so i don't have to deal with the bullshit that will someday be involved.

try not to take it so hard, i suspect it's a business thing. and he's probably out a couple of bucks for what he did for you, but in all honesty he didn't go about it in the classiest of ways. and had he been forward enough to actually let you know that he wanted his knob slobbed in exchange for what he did for you, i doubt that would have gone over any better. would it?

business is business, and friendship is friendship. if i have friends or family that need a couch moved, or help setting up a tv, or something that doesn't pertain to what i do to make my living, i'll have absolutely NO problem helping them out. when it's all said and done i'm glad just being able to help them out and getting to spend a bit of time with them. anything after that is a bonus.
 

Bartdude

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I guess you have demonstrated here many times that you have no scruple.

You would ask Mother Theresa on her death bed to blow you if she was the only female around.
Here's a thought....

 

BS Detector

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i don't even do work for friends or family any more. in any capacity. the trouble just isn't worth it. i'll forward it off to a colleague, and pick up part of the bill myself if i have to. just so i don't have to deal with the bullshit that will someday be involved.
I know a lot of people wh feel that way. Usually it is because, as you said, someday there will be some bullshit arise. It may break again (to be expected over time, but they blame you), expect even more next time and make you feel guilty if you don't etc etc. You're right, it just is not worth it sometimes.
 

SeekSteadyRegSP

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Feb 9, 2005
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what I’ve been trying to understand about the escort business for a very, very long time. When we visit an escort, the transaction is pretty simple in our mind. We give her money and she gives us sex. We leave feeling that we’ve taken nothing from her but her time. Is that true from her perspective or does she feel that she’s given us more, perhaps much more, than her time?

Your perceptions are a little off here:

What the escort "gives us" (er, rents us) amounts to HER Vulnerability. You do not have to have raunchy, sometimes-satisfying sex with her when you've hired her for an hour or a night. You only do so because it represents a finished product or a completed task of a sort in her mind.

Were your perceptions anywhere near accurate, working girls would have menus on the backs of their blouses, a la McDonalds:

BJ $80
HJ $65
Round the world $200
Half N Half $200
Greek $300
Golden Shower $400

Add $49 for PSE
Add $49 for GFE
Combo Meal includes PSE and GFE for just $80 extra

Then, upon payment, you would get the most impersonal, mechanical sex you could ever imagine.





So, with this in mind, Very Veronica:

(a) Called up a friend (asking) for help
(b) Agreed (with "Okay") to his (confusing) random generosity
(c) Continues to scold him for his having made himself vulnerable in front of her


When someone has an obscure tax question, he/she doesn't hesitate to phone his tax accountant friend.

When someone has electrical problems at home, he first contacts his friend who is an electrician for consultation or suggestions.

When someone tears a much-liked piece of clothing, he consults a friend who is a seamstress.

Yes, Veronica, we know what the definitions of friendship are, but exactly what do you give to this circle of friendship if your particular vocation is off-limits to your friends?

Until such time as when your guy friend forces your head into his lap, instead of "asking", it is time to be a better friend and stop berating him both in person ("he got all bent out of shape and left pouting") AND on a freaking internet message board !!!

When you are a tax accountant, you are sure to be deluged by requests from true friends for tiny tidbits of tax advice with no immediate expectation of remuneration. The friend who is rebuffed by a tax accountant has NOT made himself as vulnerable as did the friend who was rebuffed by VeryVeronica. She has and continues to insult him a great deal with this thread.

It is a safe bet that he would not have been "asking" you for sexual favors had you been an electrician, a librarian, or a welder, and although you cleverly didn't disclose it, we're all quite convinced that your friend *knows* what you do for a living.

Nobody anywhere could suggest that you were "obligated" to suck this guy's dick, but you have demonstrated that your response to him has been inappropriate from the first moment.
 

belair

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Your perceptions are a little off here

Nobody anywhere could suggest that you were "obligated" to suck this guy's dick, but you have demonstrated that your response to him has been inappropriate from the first moment.
She offered money, how is that inappropriate?
 
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