selfish bastard

[Very Veronica]

Called up a friend the other day for help hanging a chandelier. While he was over he told me he was going to make a cover for my electrical panel as well. Um, okay i said..a little confused with his random generosity. Anyway, he comes back the next day, screws the panel in & asks for a bj. I told him no but i'll gladly pay. He got all bent outta shape & left pouting. What is up with that?! Is that the sperm retention disorder that Vanessa Kelly talks about..the male version of pms?

When i help someone out or give a gift it's absolutely altruistic. Has nothing to do with obligation, ego or self interest. I think most women are like this as well..we are born to nurture (and shop) whereas men..scoring seems to be a major pre-occupation.

What does the perb gallery think? With V-day fast approaching, will you be gifting from the heart or the heads?

 

[SexyBoy]

Called up a friend the other day for help hanging a chandelier. While he was over he told me he was going to make a cover for my electrical panel

That selfish bastard where does he get off hanging a chandelier and making you a electrical panel!

People these days.

What does the perb gallery think? With V-day fast approaching, will you be gifting from the heart or the heads?

V-day is about romance it really isn't about gifts (unless you work for Hallmark). I think you are confused with Christmas, birthdays, or the way life should be in general.

 

[sales]

Veronica

I know for myself, my friends know me to give gifts from the heart. Now if I only had someone to give a gift to on V-Day.

 

[uncleg]

Does he do that kind of thing for a living, hang chandeliers, etc.? If he does then, tit for tat. You asked him for something that he usually gets paid for, he asked you for something you usually get paid for. Fair is fair.
The cover for the electrical panel he offered, so no, nothing owed there, nor should anything be asked for or expected.

I have found over the years that asking a "friend" for a favour/help with something that he/she makes a living at can be more trouble then it's worth. True, there are situations where barter works, but is it worth it. Maybe your buddy read some of the offers made by some of the SP's on this board. Services traded, fix my car, I fix your sperm retention, etc. and he thought why not try.

 

[KYG]

If he wanted a simple bj from you, why not? He did some stuff for ya and if he knows what you do, who cares?

 

[d_Duck55]

He probably figured: an hour working on the electrical system, a 5 minutes BJ = we are even.

But seems odd for a "Friend" to ask for a BJ instead of maybe "buy me lunch someday" or something friendly like that.

 

[SexyBoy]

He probably figured: an hour working on the electrical system, a 5 minutes BJ = we are even.

But seems odd for a "Friend" to ask for a BJ instead of maybe "buy me lunch someday" or something friendly like that.

With VV would you want BJ or lunch?

 

[Krustee]

Well based on the multitude of responses that say you should have just given him a quickie I guess that is not what you were expecting.

My question, before giving my 2 cents, would be what is the history of the relationship & what is his occupation?

 

[the_shogun]

well i'll be honest i would probably think the same thing if i had a friend who i knew was an escort. but the difference between him and me is that i wouldn't act on my impulse because of the title "FRIEND" it means a lot to me, i would never betray it.

however, if my "friend" offered a sexual favour.....when in greece....! (yah sure you can take that as a pun if you want)

 

[Bartdude]

Get on your knees.

 

[SexyBoy]

We are guys sex isn't work for us......

He would have been a selfish bastard if he didn't want to give his sperm to VV!

 

[chilli]

You called him asking him for a favor?

It would be different if he offered... but you asked.

You should have given him the blow job.

Why are women so uptight about sex? And why do women
always ask men favors expecting to do nothing in return.

You used him.

Selfish Bitch.

 

[maxx50]

Being kind and consider it is a free bee

If I offer to do something for any of the girls i know . then i am doing it because i want to and i appreciate their friend ship. Even if they ask me ti do something for them . If it not inconvenient .. or going to cost me that much .. I am happy to do it,
Admittedly some times it turns out to be more then i bargained for but I still try to get it done .. because then i said i would
I am not expecting some sexual favor.. I trust them to do the same for me.. and if their friend ship is genuine they will find some small way to let me know that they are grateful.
. I do the same for anyone i know.

 

[erotic_exotica]

I'm shocked

I can't even believe what I'm reading......you guys got to be kidding me.
Since when do we ask for sexual favor's in return for a good deed?
Yes, she asked him for the favor and Yes, he did more in return (of his own free will) but I'm sure that had she have known that the only reason he was doing it was to get some action in return then perhapes she might have found someone else to HELP out a friend.

Over the summer my guy friend's relationship broke up and he asked me if I could come over and help with the yard/garden one weekend and of course I said sure! I wasn't expecting any money for it. I just wanted to help a friend. He did however cook me dinner after and we sat in the garden drinking wine for the rest of the night. NEVER ONCE did I expect him to go down on me for payment. Thats sick and competely immature.

 

[perbertt]

VV, the guy is not your friend. He is a dirtbag.

 

[LoveEmAll]

He Never Was a Friend

VV,

Based on what you described, the guy sounds like he never was a friend. What kind of “friend” asks for a BJ, after offering unsolicited help?!

I suspect the guy thought this thing up AFTER he made his “generous” offer to you i.e. while he was working on the electrical plate, he got a bright idea, “maybe I’ll get a BJ out of this.” Again, that’s not a friend.

And when he suggested the BJ to you, he was all built up by then, ready to get his reward. And when you declined, he blew up because his build-up had no outlet, so-to-speak.

Your story makes me think about the potential fuzziness of our relationships in this pooning world, i.e. “client” versus “friend” versus “client-friend.” If this guy was a past-present client, it sometimes makes for unclear boundaries.

Friendship is more than a transaction. However, your guy sees only transaction with you. My suggestion: take him off your “friend” list and chalk this up as a cheap lesson. You’ve saved yourself the time and effort of developing a stronger bond with someone who wouldn’t have been much of a “friend” anyway.

 

[Nickthenoob]

Most women I've met are pseudo altruistic. Much like guys but a more advanced version.

You're "friend" couldn't see past the equality of you both and knows of this particular career of yours. i think Krustee is right in that there may be more to this.

 

[threepeat]

Called up a friend the other day for help hanging a chandelier. While he was over he told me he was going to make a cover for my electrical panel as well. Um, okay i said..a little confused with his random generosity. Anyway, he comes back the next day, screws the panel in & asks for a bj. I told him no but i'll gladly pay. He got all bent outta shape & left pouting. What is up with that?! Is that the sperm retention disorder that Vanessa Kelly talks about..the male version of pms?

When i help someone out or give a gift it's absolutely altruistic. Has nothing to do with obligation, ego or self interest. I think most women are like this as well..we are born to nurture (and shop) whereas men..scoring seems to be a major pre-occupation.

What does the perb gallery think? With V-day fast approaching, will you be gifting from the heart or the heads?

Since your friend seemed to want this to be a business transaction, I would have insisted he take fair payment for his services and sent him away. That way you don't owe the guy anything.

Here's another question though: are you upset he asked for payment or are you upset he asked for a BJ? If you are upset about the BJ, what if you paid him say, $200, and he turned around, gave it back to you, and said, "ok, how about that BJ?" He was probably trying to eliminate that step, which is part of how the male mind works, IMHO. If you are more upset that he asked for anything at all, you need to rethink your friendship.

As an aside, I knew an SP who told me she fucked her hairdresser in the back room of his salon, and walked out with $500 of hair care products. She loved it. She said "it was like the old days when they used to trade chickens."

 

[Ghostwheel1969]

He was probably trying to eliminate that step, which is part of how the male mind works, IMHO.

I'm not going to argue that point, if we're talking in general, but hell, it's saddening.

Ghostwheel

 

[threepeat]

I'm not going to argue that point, if we're talking in general, but hell, it's saddening.

Ghostwheel

True. I didn't say the guy wasn't being a dink, but I meant that he may not see the difference between getting paid in $$$ and getting paid in service.

Talking more generally, I do think it is in the problem-solving nature of men to try and eliminate steps in a process. Doesn't mean that we get it right...