What's the deal with roadside memorials? I see them everywhere now. Usually after some death a group of teenagers gathers at the site and when the media arrives they are met with hostility so the kids can "be allowed to mourn." Huh? If you want to grieve in private then do it somewhere in private. I saw a clip on TV about a woman who's memorial in Nanaimo - which included layered landscape ties and a cross embedded in concrete - all upset because someone had dismantled it and she used to go there to talk to her daughter. WTF? Isn't her daughter buried somewhere she can go talk to her? This is the location she died in a horrible car crash accident. Why would the mother even want to go near that location let alone make it a permanent memorial?
Roadside Memorials
- Thread starter Cock Throppled
- Start date
I totally agree. Never understand why people want to show up at the spot of their loved ones death. At least at a grave site you don't immediatly get reminded of the violent (crash or shooting) death.Cock Throppled said:
people are just attention-whores who are too stupid
to admit their 'loved-one' was a drunken moron so they make
a big production hoping no one scrutinizes the moron too closely.
First sign the 'loved one' was a moron: they have a roadside memorial.
Second sign is that every one says 's/he was a good kid!'
Third, low-life uncle/step-father/brother (usually the same guy)
gets his mug on TV asking for privacy, donations and more air time.
Fourth, guy in number 3 is arrested when Crimebusters realizes
the drunken pedophile has 6 outstanding warrants.
Fifth, group of normally apathetic teens, whose last outing
was knocking down little old ladies for kicks, stands around
memorial smoking pot and glaring at camera while secretly hoping
to be 'discovered' and become 'famous'.
And while I am certain that some good kid did die somewhere,
it seems those families manage to handle the situation with
dignity and respect, not like some impromtu circus.
to admit their 'loved-one' was a drunken moron so they make
a big production hoping no one scrutinizes the moron too closely.
First sign the 'loved one' was a moron: they have a roadside memorial.
Second sign is that every one says 's/he was a good kid!'
Third, low-life uncle/step-father/brother (usually the same guy)
gets his mug on TV asking for privacy, donations and more air time.
Fourth, guy in number 3 is arrested when Crimebusters realizes
the drunken pedophile has 6 outstanding warrants.
Fifth, group of normally apathetic teens, whose last outing
was knocking down little old ladies for kicks, stands around
memorial smoking pot and glaring at camera while secretly hoping
to be 'discovered' and become 'famous'.
And while I am certain that some good kid did die somewhere,
it seems those families manage to handle the situation with
dignity and respect, not like some impromtu circus.
Its a touchy issue and I can sort of see the families position having some sort of tribute. That said, the problem is most of these shrines end up as a distraction to other motorists and present a clear hazard. Sure its tragic that you lost your son, daughter, wife, husband, etc. but I don't think its appropriate to erect a 6 foot tall teddy bear, pictures or wilted flowers.
If a family wants to have something outside (other then a tombstone) many funeral homes offer a "memory tree". These are trees dedicated to a loved one that the family can visit for many generations WITHOUT impacting someone else.
The Rick Sonnenberg situation is a little different. One, he was killed in the line of duty so there are extenuating circumstances. Second, where his memorial is placed on the side of Deerfoot Trail is very much out of the way and doesn't present a distraction to passing motorists. Finally, its regularly maintained by his family and colleagues in a reserved and tidy fashion.
If a family wants to have something outside (other then a tombstone) many funeral homes offer a "memory tree". These are trees dedicated to a loved one that the family can visit for many generations WITHOUT impacting someone else.
The Rick Sonnenberg situation is a little different. One, he was killed in the line of duty so there are extenuating circumstances. Second, where his memorial is placed on the side of Deerfoot Trail is very much out of the way and doesn't present a distraction to passing motorists. Finally, its regularly maintained by his family and colleagues in a reserved and tidy fashion.
did you read the last paragraph of my post?tonguetied said:
as for 'insensitive', have you seen some of these 'memorials'?
One that sticks in my mind is the kid with a learner's permit
who was drunk, speeding, rolled into a ditch and killed two
girls who were riding with him ... big memorial to the moron.
The other was some drunken moron rolled his car and parts
(automotive and body) ended up in some old lady's front yard ...
so the moron's friends and family stuck a memorial in her
yard and were out there day and night disturbing her
peace and quiet (not to mention that she was constantly
reminded of the carnage she witnessed in her front yard!)
At the same time, a nice 'memorial' at a local school that
was put together by a mother who lost her child is vandalized
by those lovely teens you say 'don't cause trouble'!
Another memorial was recently vandalized when low-life's
dug the plaques out of benches set-up for people to reflect
and remember people they had lost.
I am all for reasonable 'tributes' but not some of the
trailer trash moron memorials that are common these days.
Interesting article on the subject
I still find it a great wake up when traveling in Montana (which is known for its shitty roads) when coming on a dangerous stretch of road with a collection of crosses.
I still find it a great wake up when traveling in Montana (which is known for its shitty roads) when coming on a dangerous stretch of road with a collection of crosses.
If the families need some way to come to terms with their loss I don't have a problem with it as long as it doesn't endanger any other lives. However I do think these memorials should have an expiration date or else as they proliferate and accumulate they'll become clutter and an eyesore. The family should have to get a permit (for free or a nominal fee) allowing them to set up the memorial for a specified period of time say 3 or 4 months after which time they have to take it down and put it on their own property otherwise it will be removed and discarded.
I remember some roads in Mexico where there seemed to be hundreds of roadside memorials, seeing that many reminders of death is depressing and distracting.
I remember some roads in Mexico where there seemed to be hundreds of roadside memorials, seeing that many reminders of death is depressing and distracting.
Reminds me of this new furor over the Gibson's to Sechelt highway that is going on.
"How many more deaths need to occur before the government does something".
The news report then goes on to show all the roadside memorials. Then, of course, they briefly mention how the people died.
* Speeding
* Jaywalking
* Speeding again
What's the government supposed to do? Install speed bumps on the highway?
The people want the government to lower the speed limit which doesn't make sense because the people killed were killed by excessive speed (ie. people who disregard the speed limit).
"How many more deaths need to occur before the government does something".
The news report then goes on to show all the roadside memorials. Then, of course, they briefly mention how the people died.
* Speeding
* Jaywalking
* Speeding again
What's the government supposed to do? Install speed bumps on the highway?
The people want the government to lower the speed limit which doesn't make sense because the people killed were killed by excessive speed (ie. people who disregard the speed limit).
I have Some Friends that were killed on the highway and I think about them everytime i see there cross. Its also a bit of a wake up call to drive responsible and drive safe
every friend i have lost (except one who died of AIDS) hasBYSON said:
been due to a motor vehicle accident ... many involving alcohol
and speeding.
I don't mind a few flowers for a couple of days, but I think permanent memorials are dumb. Usually they aren't maintained and look messy after a week, but even when they are kept up why make the site of the death a memorial? In Surrey a guy ran four stop signs while drunk before a truck broadsided him at the fifth and killed him. Asswipe was lucky he didn't kill anybody else, but guess what,"He was just trying to get his life turned around..."and a memorial was set up. WTF? If I had a friend or family member killed somewhere I'd do everything to avoid going near the place for quite a while.
twoblues said:
RIGHT ON!!! Nobody takes responsibility for their OWN actions any more its just ridiculous!!! Not less then ano hour ago I helped a youg girl out of a vehicle that she flipped on her side. The icy patch was between 50 - 75 long on a straight stretch with bare pavement on both ends. She wasn't hurt but the cab rested in between 2 large trees a few feet either way and she would not be here today. She had to slow down for the 90 degree corner just before, and given the distance she skidded - she must have really been acccelerating when she hit the ice, add a lack of experience and that what you get. She was pretty sweet though.
That WAS the original reason for the crosses. I saw them in the US years ago and it was placed there by the state to serve as a reminder. In BC here these people THINK they have the right to place them on public property - weird.BYSON said:
I agree. While I do feel for the families involved, I agree that the shrines are a distraction. All someone needs to do is lose their focus while gazing at the tribute and next thing you know there'll be a 2nd one being setup.
gravitas said:
Well I have to agree about the distraction part and also the attention whores.
Around Shell and Cambie(Richmond), 2 kids were racing and one kid got the pole and was killed instantly.
They started a Memorial for the kid and there was like 80 of them there the next day and was creating huge traffic as some of them were in the middle of the street mourning.
I say FUCK that shit. If my friend was killed due to racing, I am not going to the crash site to mourn for him. Why would I want to be reminded of the foolish things he did?
Honestly....I wish everyone kept the mourning in the Cemetery as that is the place to do it. And don't forget that some of the mourning place where they plant the flowers are private property. Think of the owners before doing anything like that as it can depreciate someones property as well.
arggggggg.....Why the hell am I writing all this stuff.....I barely ever come on the public forum.
Around Shell and Cambie(Richmond), 2 kids were racing and one kid got the pole and was killed instantly.
They started a Memorial for the kid and there was like 80 of them there the next day and was creating huge traffic as some of them were in the middle of the street mourning.
I say FUCK that shit. If my friend was killed due to racing, I am not going to the crash site to mourn for him. Why would I want to be reminded of the foolish things he did?
Honestly....I wish everyone kept the mourning in the Cemetery as that is the place to do it. And don't forget that some of the mourning place where they plant the flowers are private property. Think of the owners before doing anything like that as it can depreciate someones property as well.
arggggggg.....Why the hell am I writing all this stuff.....I barely ever come on the public forum.
Pretty sad alright. Looks like the husband and brother in law are the culprits here.rat_fink said:
