The Porn Dude

Reviews

shawn

New member
Aug 24, 2002
95
0
0
What if they reviewed us?

It was a pretty slow day, when I got a call. He said "Hey baby how much?" I told him $150 for a 1/2 hr and $230 for the hr. He said, wow does your pussy fart stars and stripes? I can get 5 sessions for the same price on Kingsway.

I should have hung on him right then, but It was slow and I had to pay the rent. We negotiated $180.00 for the hr, I gave him my address and told him to be here at 2pm. I had a appointment that I needed to to at 5pm. My buzzer rang at 4pm and I buzzed him in. I was waiting and waiting and wondering what was taking so long. I looked outside and saw that he was knocking on my neighbors door. I quickly opened the door and told him he had the wrong place and told him to come inside quickly.

In the light, he was not the best site in the world. He was bald and overweight and I could tell he was either drunk or very stoned with decaying teeth and very bad breath. I said "just relax honey" and gave him a hug and I almost passed out caus he just stunk of BO. I politely asked him if he wanted to take a shower and he said "naw I just took one". We went into the bedroom and he grabbed my breast hard and said Ya like that don't ya doll? I winced and pretended to like it. I took off his pants and saw 3 inch fully erect penis covered by as much hair as a chia pet.

I went down on him if I thought his armpits smelled bad, his groin could have curdled milk ewwww. I tried to not notice the disgusting puss filled pimple he had on his ass.

He was saying suck it baby, what is my name, what is my name. I wanted to say that I forgot your name already. I then put a condom on him, and after he grunted and threw a few strokes he blew his load. I told him he was a great lover and gave him a big kiss and told him to call me soon. I must be the best actress in the world

L 2
A 0
S 1

That review was made up obviously, I'm sure providers have some interesting stories of their own. Care to share?
 

shak

New member
Apr 4, 2004
524
0
0
shawn said:
What if they reviewed us?

It was a pretty slow day, when I got a call. He said "Hey baby how much?" I told him $150 for a 1/2 hr and $230 for the hr. He said, wow does your pussy fart stars and stripes? I can get 5 sessions for the same price on Kingsway.

I should have hung on him right then, but It was slow and I had to pay the rent. We negotiated $180.00 for the hr, I gave him my address and told him to be here at 2pm. I had a appointment that I needed to to at 5pm. My buzzer rang at 4pm and I buzzed him in. I was waiting and waiting and wondering what was taking so long. I looked outside and saw that he was knocking on my neighbors door. I quickly opened the door and told him he had the wrong place and told him to come inside quickly.

In the light, he was not the best site in the world. He was bald and overweight and I could tell he was either drunk or very stoned with decaying teeth and very bad breath. I said "just relax honey" and gave him a hug and I almost passed out caus he just stunk of BO. I politely asked him if he wanted to take a shower and he said "naw I just took one". We went into the bedroom and he grabbed my breast hard and said Ya like that don't ya doll? I winced and pretended to like it. I took off his pants and saw 3 inch fully erect penis covered by as much hair as a chia pet.

I went down on him if I thought his armpits smelled bad, his groin could have curdled milk ewwww. I tried to not notice the disgusting puss filled pimple he had on his ass.

He was saying suck it baby, what is my name, what is my name. I wanted to say that I forgot your name already. I then put a condom on him, and after he grunted and threw a few strokes he blew his load. I told him he was a great lover and gave him a big kiss and told him to call me soon. I must be the best actress in the world

L 2
A 0
S 1

That review was made up obviously, I'm sure providers have some interesting stories of their own. Care to share?
thats some funny shit
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
3,127
2
0
55
Seattle
Damn good post Shawn!
 

Verb

Well-known member
Oct 20, 2003
1,300
43
48
SprINGFiELD
shawn said:
What if they reviewed us?

It was a pretty slow day, when I got a call. He said "Hey baby how much?" I told him $150 for a 1/2 hr and $230 for the hr. He said, wow does your pussy fart stars and stripes? I can get 5 sessions for the same price on Kingsway.

I should have hung on him right then, but It was slow and I had to pay the rent. We negotiated $180.00 for the hr, I gave him my address and told him to be here at 2pm. I had a appointment that I needed to to at 5pm. My buzzer rang at 4pm and I buzzed him in. I was waiting and waiting and wondering what was taking so long. I looked outside and saw that he was knocking on my neighbors door. I quickly opened the door and told him he had the wrong place and told him to come inside quickly.

In the light, he was not the best site in the world. He was bald and overweight and I could tell he was either drunk or very stoned with decaying teeth and very bad breath. I said "just relax honey" and gave him a hug and I almost passed out caus he just stunk of BO. I politely asked him if he wanted to take a shower and he said "naw I just took one". We went into the bedroom and he grabbed my breast hard and said Ya like that don't ya doll? I winced and pretended to like it. I took off his pants and saw 3 inch fully erect penis covered by as much hair as a chia pet.

I went down on him if I thought his armpits smelled bad, his groin could have curdled milk ewwww. I tried to not notice the disgusting puss filled pimple he had on his ass.

He was saying suck it baby, what is my name, what is my name. I wanted to say that I forgot your name already. I then put a condom on him, and after he grunted and threw a few strokes he blew his load. I told him he was a great lover and gave him a big kiss and told him to call me soon. I must be the best actress in the world

L 2
A 0
S 1

That review was made up obviously, I'm sure providers have some interesting stories of their own. Care to share?
Geez...I hope that not yourself you are writing about..... :D
 

FuZzYknUckLeS

Monkey Abuser
May 11, 2005
2,212
0
0
Schmocation
shawn said:
What if they reviewed us?...
Well, they don't. And this pseudo-review that you have made up, is it a reflection of yourself? 'Cause it sure as shit wouldn't be a review of me.
Honestly, I think this perception of men that visit SP's as being balding, middle-aged sewer rats is utter bullshit, and posting crap like this doesn't help matters. Granted they likely do get the occasional loser, but I think that is the exception. But then again, I could be wrong. Perhaps a poll is in order: "How much of a smelly, balding, middle-aged loser are you?".
 

shawn

New member
Aug 24, 2002
95
0
0
Relax dude, I'm just having a little fun :cool: This is done toungue and cheek only
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
3,127
2
0
55
Seattle
I think that an SP is not attracted at all to most pooners they see.
 

travel guy

New member
Apr 10, 2004
169
0
0
FuZzYknUckLeS said:
Well, they don't.
Don't kid yourself. There's definately some sort of backchannel pooner reviews. I've recently been with a provider who mentioned that she was free to rearrange her schedule to accomodate me because after "looking up" a new client that she had previously scheduled, she realized he's a complete ass.

Didn't ask where she looked this up because a) I'm sure she wouldn't tell me b) I don't care. I suspect I have glowing reviews :D
 

maverick73

Banned
Feb 2, 2005
2,289
0
0
Spinnerville, BC
shawn said:
Relax dude, I'm just having a little fun :cool: This is done toungue and cheek only
Ok that's some good shit. You're the current front runner for my Marvelous Musing of the week. I'll let you know Friday if you win.
 

yogi

New member
Nov 19, 2003
314
0
0
A Blue State Out West
I'll bet that if you showed people two group photos, one of randomly selected pooners, the other from the random general population of guys, no one would be able to tell which group was the pooners.
 

Willie263

Outstanding Member
Oct 29, 2004
80
0
0
In Duh Bushes
Well, I'll take that bet

yogi said:
I'll bet that if you showed people two group photos, one of randomly selected pooners, the other from the random general population of guys, no one would be able to tell which group was the pooners.
I figure if you look for guys with big shit-eating grins on their faces, you have a better than 50-50 chance of picking a pooner. :eek:

Not just from their enjoyment of the poonies (is that a word or did I just make that up?, anyhow, not to be confused with ponies) but their enjoyment of life in general due to additional disposal wealth, and their attitude toward life in general. :) :) :) :)
 
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