Respect, kind goes a long way

[ChromeGasCap]

How is a personal preference 'disrespect'?

We're not talking about building a shed here. Sex is very personal even when it's someone's profession.

I would assume most instances of YMMV are related to things like hygiene, sobriety, and attitude more than simply age, ethnicity or attractiveness.

And even if it was about building a shed, someone acting like an entitled asshole who started off by trying to get a discount on your services would probably result in a whole lot of YMMV regarding when and how that shed was built.

A sense of entitlement doesn't entitle anyone to anything except an ass-kicking or banishment.

It is either a business or it is not!
If a client tries to barter, perhaps it is not professional to discuss with other clients, who then come here to complain on the SPs behalf.
Even I do not like being bartered, but it is something I can expect to happen, and it would never be acceptable to discuss with others.
As far as YMMV, for the most part is completely subjective, and perhaps I was incorrect in in my previous assertions.
YMMV is far to vague, as it is reasonable to disqualify BBBJ because the client has an odour, but in this scenario I wouldn't call it YMMV, it would be you stink and she not going to do it as a result.
As far as SEX being personal, I would have to say as I have already, that this is non-conventional. The services received from many clients perspectives, are personal, however, it would take a whole lot of convincing to agree on the other way around.
Nothing personal, its just business!! Ive heard it said many times, even in this business. The ladies would like every client to believe that it is personal for them the SP, when in fact it is just business.

 

[Pumped]

It is either a business or it is not!
If a client tries to barter, perhaps it is not professional to discuss with other clients, who then come here to complain on the SPs behalf.
Even I do not like being bartered, but it is something I can expect to happen, and it would never be acceptable to discuss with others.
As far as YMMV, for the most part is completely subjective, and perhaps I was incorrect in in my previous assertions.
YMMV is far to vague, as it is reasonable to disqualify BBBJ because the client has an odour, but in this scenario I wouldn't call it YMMV, it would be you stink and she not going to do it as a result.
As far as SEX being personal, I would have to say as I have already, that this is non-conventional. The services received from many clients perspectives, are personal, however, it would take a whole lot of convincing to agree on the other way around.
Nothing personal, its just business!! Ive heard it said many times, even in this business. The ladies would like every client to believe that it is personal for them the SP, when in fact it is just business.

Whether sex in sex-work is non-conventional or not, it is still vastly more personal than building a shed or buying tires etc.

And it is much more than 'just a business' when it is that personal.

No one likes rejection, and perhaps YMMV represents that for you. But everyone, particularly and especially, women, has the right to their own body and to make decisions that favour that autonomy and integrity.

Anyone who sees sex-work as simply a 'business' is really demonstrating why it can be so difficult, challenging and damaging to the people working in it because it simply dehumanizes them to being nothing but a commodity, which they are not.

 

[ChromeGasCap]

Whether sex in sex-work is non-conventional or not, it is still vastly more personal than building a shed or buying tires etc.

And it is much more than 'just a business' when it is that personal.

No one likes rejection, and perhaps YMMV represents that for you. But everyone, particularly and especially, women, has the right to their own body and to make decisions that favour that autonomy and integrity.

Anyone who sees sex-work as simply a 'business' is really demonstrating why it can be so difficult, challenging and damaging to the people working in it because it simply dehumanizes them to being nothing but a commodity, which they are not.

I am not trying to get you worked up, I am simply having conversation and stating facts as I see them.
I have even said that my YMMV statements from earlier were incorrect. I have never discounted your statements.
I am even starting to believe that perhaps I have been wrong all along, and Sex has always been transactional. ( why the hell would any man get married then? )
Any Client who believes completely that this is a personal arrangement and NOT business, sets him/herself to be taken advantage of, including blackmail.
It is not the SPs that are the commodities, it is the SEX or intimacy itself. The intimacy aspect is all built on fantasy, as are most marriages.

 

[rinamood]

I am even starting to believe that perhaps I have been wrong all along, and Sex has always been transactional. ( why the hell would any man get married then? )

Marriage has always been for control and a sense of stability. It's very much rooted in monogamy and a sense of ownership of one another to battle insecurities people get. It's too often a paper-based emotional bandaid, but it provides some legal benefits and is useful for those sharing children. It's very glamourized with a whole $$$ industry behind such affairs.

YMMV is the space for opportunity in which an SP could like someone more and be more cozy, comfy, and willing to try different things. That's the space where this type of transactional relationship grows, through repeated visits, efforts, trust, and at least some enjoyment (I can't speak for others, so I'm using "some" here). It's really fun and is a happy, positive thing for me 🥰

Ofc, like you said, some people can be nitpicky and be constantly looking for reasons to not provide service... maybe don't give your patronage to such parties if you've already put in the efforts to be at your best, and are still denied what's standard of their service. You already know that though. It sucks, but some people are simply uncomfortable and won't be able to hold space for the more cheery YMMV I talk about.

 

[ChromeGasCap]

I'm not saying that great experiences can not be had. SPs can even have positive feelings about a client.
An SP is not going to be there when life happens for the client, unlike how real friends would be there. In these situations an SP is not your friend, they will however relieve some of your stress for a fee.
Let's call it what it is... a business.

 

[Harmony-bc]

I block people who try to barter. No further communication necessary after that. I understand that it’s in some people’s culture. But they can learn from the next person not to do that. I find it disrespectful and I don’t want disrespectful clients or friends in my life. I’ll ask them to leave if they try to do that if they show up. I’m not desperate for money. Thank gawd.

As for getting naked and rolling around with someone, I always deliver what i say I’m going to deliver. If I’m so uncomfortable with somebody I can’t be nice, we wouldn’t be naked. As for certain services always double check somebody is offering what you’re looking for before heading on over. Don’t show up smelly and trying to paw a person the second you walk in either. We’re just human beings over here.

It’s a business for sure. It is a business involving human bodies tho with human feelings. I’m not a robot.

Just tryna make a dollar outa 15c (Tupac reference for those who don’t know)

 

[blakealridge]

It’s absolutely so brilliant that men have set the bar so low that baseline respect is seen as a phenomenon

 

[carvesg]

It’s absolutely so brilliant that men have set the bar so low that baseline respect is seen as a phenomenon

Some men....

 

[lukom]

As far as YMMV, if I were doing this as a business, this would be unacceptable.

In terms of running a business that too can be YMMV. You might be an electrician for example who gets a call from a client looking for a seemingly straight forward job that requires changing a flushmount and two kitchen outlets. You give the client a $400 price, knowing what the items and supplies cost, including the time it takes to do the job and cause you've also done a similar job on another floor for the same building.You then show up, and discover the ceiling is much higher than anticipated, so you need to get a different ladder than what you keep on hand with you. You discover that the outlets needing to be replaced need to be GFCI as theyre too close to running water. You then discover the unit has no electric panel access and need to make a request to the building management to have access to the electric room. The request cant be made that day cause its a weekend and you wasted an entire day of your time due to a client not doing their bare minimum of communicating things like needing GFCI outlet or that they dont have a panel in their unit, and needing to arrange access to the electric room with their building before scheduling you. As an elrctrician youll still invoice the client for your time, and likely add additional charges to the services as youre changing outlets that need gfci instead of regular outlets. The client may be unhappy, perhaps they'll pay you for your time that day and call up another electrician out of spite, perhaps they'll find someone cheaper even but they'll know what to communicate to the next guy and will have made the prior arrangements with their building manager for the next guy.

 

[lukom]

I think its ok to haggle in some scenarios so to speak.. however it should always be done up front. if you agree over text/email ect to a price and then show up and try to change your offer or know their prices and wait until you are in person to try and lowball something as insane as $45 that is pathetic. but I've had providers who when we first met I paid full price, and later agreed to more regular encounters at a deep discount. wont get into details but I was well taken care of. and she had a weekly guarantee with someone she was comfortable with.

Haggling is classless. Don't haggle. Ever.
If they don't have their rates posted, you can ask if longer sessions are an option and if they charge differently for long sessions. Of course, you'd do that if you're genuinely interested in doing something longer.

 

[Harmony-bc]

I think in some cultures haggling is expected and encouraged and then those people get here and it’s not. I have a friend with a landscaping business in surrey and some of his clients will haggle and then he shows up and they feed him and tip him in other ways and he ends up with long term clients and all their friends as clients. He hates it tho. But if he didn’t allow haggling he wouldn’t be as busy.

But for my business involving human bodies and human feelings, it just makes me feel like a meat market. I’m looking for clients that think of me as someone they might connect with. A good time yes. But a good time with real people.

meh to the bargain hunters. So gross. Look elsewhere

 

[Harmony-bc]

I’ve also had clients who see me and then have said I’ve seen you a few times now, can you do this at this rate and then I’ve lost them as clients. Negotiating over my body is just ick. I did that lots in various places I’ve worked. I’m so over that lol. If I offer anybody a deal ever it’s 100% my idea. I’m not insulted when people negotiate, I just know they’re not my people.

 

[blakealridge]

Some men....

The standard for men has been set by men whether it is some men or most men or just a few men or all men doesn’t matter, that’s the standard that seems to be there. Also, it’s literally brilliant, I wish I didn’t have to try.

 

[VanCityNewb]

The standard for men has been set by men whether it is some men or most men or just a few men or all men doesn’t matter, that’s the standard that seems to be there. Also, it’s literally brilliant, I wish I didn’t have to try.

And yet, here you are.

 

[carvesg]

The standard for men has been set by men whether it is some men or most men or just a few men or all men doesn’t matter, that’s the standard that seems to be there. Also, it’s literally brilliant, I wish I didn’t have to try.

A don't like when people generalize about others and will reply when guys generalize with blanket assumptions covering every ladies on this site . I would hope that you could the same .

I know that your life experience in the industry definitely gives a better insight about the behavior and manners of the average man but it seems that the well behaved men are painted with the same brush even if we can't change the behavior of others . The average Canadian man seems to be quite rude then ... unless I'm misreading something.

 

[lukom]

I think in some cultures haggling is expected and encouraged and then those people get here and it’s not. I have a friend with a landscaping business in surrey and some of his clients will haggle and then he shows up and they feed him and tip him in other ways and he ends up with long term clients and all their friends as clients. He hates it tho. But if he didn’t allow haggling he wouldn’t be as busy.

But for my business involving human bodies and human feelings, it just makes me feel like a meat market. I’m looking for clients that think of me as someone they might connect with. A good time yes. But a good time with real people.

meh to the bargain hunters. So gross. Look elsewhere

I'm going to play devils advocate on that. Cause being that I come from two separate cultures where bargaining or asking for a discount can be the norm I have an understanding even if I don't agree with it.
Bargaining for renovations or landscaping for your home is different. It's cause you are bringing strangers into your property. Your domicile. Tearing walls down to put up new drywall, digging through your weeds, seeing what's there, things you maybe not have been aware of. It's almost a form of being vulnerable. It's also out of necessity. You need to update things every couple decades so that your house doesn't grow mold, wiring doesn't cause a fire, and to keep pests away. Mind you, I'm acknowledging here that home and property ownership is a privilege, but again its where you might live out the remainder of your life. Getting the best deal, be it quality work, or a price you won't regret paying.

Visiting sex workers is a luxury on top of all luxuries. It's not a necessity for anyone. If you are going to pay for a sex worker, you are doing this as a luxury at the expense of the other persons vulnerability. That person gets to decide how much their vulnerability costs. This isn't a necessity for the person paying, so considering if others can fully afford their price shouldn't be the sex workers concern. It's like how some SPs won't do Greek, but they'll make an exception if you offer them an outrageous amount on top of their regular rate. Seen this on a couple of pages.

Negotiating rates on a necessity in your home is different. Perhaps because you can't afford something necessary, but you shoulsnt have to choose between losing your house or trying to get renovated at a rate you can afford. It's not the same negotiating on a luxury of luxuries, like paying sex for from a sex worker. If you're going to buy sex, it better be because you have the money and that you're neglecting your mortgage payments or other bills. And if you're dealing with money issues, don't visit sex workers. Get your finances in check.

 

[80watts]

Ahhh.... Upselling..... the antithesis

 

[rinamood]

Some average, but also a lot of below average/lowest bottom of society, anti-social.

My experience is that men have treated me better in this work compared to personal dates. Guys were so lazy with low efforts, in both themselves and in the date itself. The burden of planning the date myself, maintaining myself (higher cost in time and money to reach the standard I personally feel comfortable with), and also taking on the 50:50 financials were not attractive to me - I'm more traditional than I come off as. I appreciate people who wholeheartedly appreciate my efforts.

I think it may be unusual for men to dig as deep into the emotional psyche of their fellow guy friends or into his personal business past shared interests - that's what I have heard from my buddies at least! Some are pleasant and chill towards men, but really mean and entitled towards women - there are guys who hide this. So it's not strange to be unaware of the shortcomings of friends and acquaintances sometimes. I have to agree that the "Mr. Average" is not as decent as many men believe. So if I come off as strangely positive about my work and my clients, it's with good reason. They are higher quality than Mr. Average even if they might not realize or accept it themselves. I believe that Mr. Average is further down than one might expect 👀

I get to experience overall better treatment, communicate with transparent respect and boundaries, and share in enjoyment with men who genuinely value my time as clients. I've told many clients that working in this industry has helped not only my self-esteem, but also upped my standards for even momentary partners.

 

[Crookedmember]

Painting in broad strokes, I'd guess there are two types of men who visit SPs.

1.) Those who just want to rent an appliance to get themselves off as many times as possible in the allotted time.

2.) Those who want to savour some quality time with a nice woman who isn't their wife, girlfriend or mother.

 

[carvesg]

Some average, but also a lot of below average/lowest bottom of society, anti-social.

Many really nice and respectful guys likely have little interest in seeing escorts or do so only very rarely. Additionally, some of these men may only choose to see escorts who meet specific criteria, such as age, body type, or quality. So, her experiences men is likely to be quite different from those of other providers or non-sex worker women.

You are assuming a lot of character traits of the average pooner . A few years here and discussing with the ladies in the coming years you might change your tune. Unless those prejudices apply to people you personally encounter who are part of the hobby or you are describing yourself....in that case you are justified.

Not my experience so far or the feedback have been getting over the years as most come from all walks of life and are as diverse as the community we live in ... Which includes a small minority of bad apples that take most of the ladies attention, worries and time away from their tasks and business.