References

[Bigfella2599]

Apologies if this has been discussed before. I did a search and didn't find much.

I"ve noticed a lot of providers want references from other providers. I'm wondering if there are too many times to go to the well so to speak. I have some agencies and providers I can use, but how many times is too many? I would love to hear from everybody on here, independent's and agencies alike. Is constantly handing out references annoying? Thanks.

 

[lukom]

The whole references thing is a bit of a Grey area, cause how does one "start" seeing sex workers if each of them require a reference, and for those who require references they expect other girls to take the risk with a newcomer so they don't have to? Then, what happens if the provider who's giving the reference isn't right in the head and either ignores the request, gives a bad reference, or covers for her pimp by lying and giving a good reference so he can go do harm? Wouldn't it just be safer to provide some type of legal verification with deposit or something?

 

[vanperb]

My rule of thumb is that for each provider I ask for a reference, I see them at least once before I ask for another one.
It seems kind of rude to be asking the same provider for a reference and then not seeing them afterwards... over and over again.

Also before you give out a provider's/agency info ASK THEM. It's the same as a job interview. Give them a heads up, tell them who to expect an inquiry from, tell them when you'll be sending it out, and remind them who you are. Afterwards, send them a thanks, a tip, or schedule some soon with them as a thanks.

Be a decent considerate human being.

 

[westwoody]

Wouldn't it just be safer to provide some type of legal verification with deposit or something?

No.
Having a driver’s license or money is no measure of your character or guarantee of your behaviour.

 

[steverino]

I am fine with ladies asking for references, but for me it is not worth the hassle so I will go elsewhere.

 

[Bridge]

I don't see anything wrong with asking for references as it does provide valuable third party information about character. I'm actually surprised they aren't asked for more often as they can provide a great deal of useful written or "word of mouth" information.

 

[lukom]

No.
Having a driver’s license or money is no measure of your character or guarantee of your behaviour.

It doesn't, but where does one get a reference if they don't do this often enough? And why is it that another sp who took a chance on a newbie should be expected to give a reference and potentially lose a regular client?

 

[westwoody]

give a reference and potentially lose a regular client?

Any woman who is confident, professional and serious about her business has no issue giving referrals.

It's not about poaching clients, it's about supporting each other.

 

[vanperb]

Any woman who is confident, professional and serious about her business has no issue giving referrals.

It's not about poaching clients, it's about supporting each other.

On one level. Yes. Peers should support peers. Especially in an industry like this. But sadly it's not been unheard of to send a malicious reference, or recommend a malicious client. You have to vet your peers too.

 

[lukom]

On one level. Yes. Peers should support peers. Especially in an industry like this. But sadly it's not been unheard of to send a malicious reference, or recommend a malicious client. You have to vet your peers too.

This. And the other problem with expecting references is that it can promote hobbyist culture. Guys might go around seeing multiple ladies just to get enough names to use as references for the sake of seeing the one lady they've been interested in seeing.

 

[Ame123]

Because most people are decent people

 

[Big_Guy_Rye]

It's all about circles, I suppose.

My guess, is such a practice is reserved to those who operate in certain tightly-knit network bubbles within their own echelon. For the client, who has a certain elegant taste for the provider he chooses, I'm sure most of the providers in that bracket of service all talk to each other, and give the low-down on who's who in the yuppie, corporate, suit n' tie world they exclusively cater to. I'd imagine in the "1% world" that circle would be rather small.. ....as opposed to the blue-collar average joe's, who's tastes are not as refined, but on occasion if they save enough pennies to meet the rates of such a VIP girl just to feel like a king for a night. Then the problem of getting a reference gets tricky, because how often does that average joe get VIP girls like that on a regular basis? To get known as a client with a rep, for better or worse?

The Joe probably spent most of his 'pooning career' lurking around 104 Ave for back-alley BJs; and it's not like the ladies there are deep-seeded in the VIP circles to be an authority for a reference. They'd say "Joe? Oh yeah, he's the guy driving that 1990s sedan with the busted headlight, I remember him! Yeah, i guess he was an okay guy... Afterward, offered breath-mints from the center console of his car, while he shuffled around to zip up his pants. I reached in to get one, but pulled out a month-old McDonald french fry instead; ate it anyways, cuz I was hungry, but I did wind up finding those breath-mints."

 

[Bigfella2599]

My rule of thumb is that for each provider I ask for a reference, I see them at least once before I ask for another one.
It seems kind of rude to be asking the same provider for a reference and then not seeing them afterwards... over and over again.

Also before you give out a provider's/agency info ASK THEM. It's the same as a job interview. Give them a heads up, tell them who to expect an inquiry from, tell them when you'll be sending it out, and remind them who you are. Afterwards, send them a thanks, a tip, or schedule some soon with them as a thanks.

Be a decent considerate human being.

This feels like the best way to go. I understand why they ask for references. It’s like with an agency you have visited a few times, the provider is usually pretty at ease right from the start.

I also have really no interest in providing any sort of ID, so just trying to navigate around that.
Thanks!

 

[Persephone Grace]

I’m actually iffy on references as clients will act differently with every girl. I definitely don’t want my name attached to a client who was amazing with me but then was horrible to the provider I gave an ok too. References aren’t a sure fire way to know who you are dealing with

 

[YYC]

I get why ladies ask for and want references but as Persephone says, it's weird because just because you get along great with A doesn't mean you'll click with B.

I had a weird experience once that showed this. I didn't click with a lady at all and she told the gal who did her bookings and admin that she wouldn't give me a reference or see me again. I found this out when I contacted the admin who worked as an admin for another lady I was trying to book with and found out this other lady wouldn't see me. Fast forward a couple of months and I'm at an orgy (because we should all go to at least one orgy in our lives), invited by a provider I had seen seven or eight times and find myself on the communal bed playing with the first lady who didn't want to see me again, the second lady who wouldn't see me on the lack of reference, AND the admin lady who was just along for the fun of it. It was all very weird. And afterward, they all told me what a great guy I was. I mean wtf?

 

[lukom]

My problem presently is this. I haven't seen many ladies since covid. Two of my ATF's who ive kept in touch with and still see stopped advertising right at the start of covid, and are retired from taking new clients. They're out of the loop and while it would not only be awkward in to ask them to be references I don't think any openly active SP's would accept them as valid references even though these are presently the ladies who know me best. In addition to that, throughout the years there's been a rapport established, we've exchanged gifts on holidays. I share a birthday month with another so she's treated me and in turn I've given her expensive gifts. The same lady in particular and I have also hung out (her idea). They might share such information with a potential sp looking for a reference and it could set a false expectation (for example). More recently I did a couple of TOFTFT sessions, and while I enjoyed my time I haven't gone back to see them and have opted for my ATF's once again. So none of these ladies would probably be seen as ideal references. To top it off there's also an elitist mentality that even if I was to get the ladies who are actively advertising to be references they may not be seen as credible due to the fact that they're in the $300 or less price range and the ladies charging $400+ may not value what they have to say.

 

[vanperb]

My problem presently is this. I haven't seen many ladies since covid. Two of my ATF's who ive kept in touch with and still see stopped advertising right at the start of covid, and are retired from taking new clients. They're out of the loop and while it would not only be awkward in to ask them to be references I don't think any openly active SP's would accept them as valid references even though these are presently the ladies who know me best. In addition to that, throughout the years there's been a rapport established, we've exchanged gifts on holidays. I share a birthday month with another so she's treated me and in turn I've given her expensive gifts. The same lady in particular and I have also hung out (her idea). They might share such information with a potential sp looking for a reference and it could set a false expectation (for example). More recently I did a couple of TOFTFT sessions, and while I enjoyed my time I haven't gone back to see them and have opted for my ATF's once again. So none of these ladies would probably be seen as ideal references. To top it off there's also an elitist mentality that even if I was to get the ladies who are actively advertising to be references they may not be seen as credible due to the fact that they're in the $300 or less price range and the ladies charging $400+ may not value what they have to say.

It doesn't sound like you have a problem. You don't sound interested in the ladies that require references, and they're not interested seeing you without references. Win-win.

 

[lukom]

It doesn't sound like you have a problem. You don't sound interested in the ladies that require references, and they're not interested seeing you without references. Win-win.

Not presently, but that could change.

 

[SolidSnake]

What are references for? Passport renewals and job interviews (and not until right before they hire you.)

Ladies who don't work for Service Canada or not looking to hire, why don't you give us YOUR references from other SPs, just to be fair? We don't want last minute cancellations or get robbed either. And those who want to see IDs, please show us yours first.

 

[Equity Market investor]

Great point!!

I’m actually iffy on references as clients will act differently with every girl. I definitely don’t want my name attached to a client who was amazing with me but then was horrible to the provider I gave an ok too. References aren’t a sure fire way to know who you are dealing with