I agree totally.
why on earth would you (vind) simply want to cut bait and run if she has issues steming from this type of horrible action? It may take more work to free her of her demons, but in the end, if he loves her, or falls in love with her, is that cost not worth the reward? Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic who believes love can conquer all...
Damion, I think the first thing you need to do, is just listen to her...don't even try and fix things..just be there for her. she's already taken a huge step with you in admitting what has happened in the past...that takes a lot of courage on her part. be thankful for this. TELL her you are thankful for it. Reward her for showing courage in you.
From this point on...you have to ensure you give her no reason to not trust you ... recognize there will be cases in which, for no good reason, she may not believe you ... do your best to alleviate her fears, point out past circumstances where you WERE there for her...trust worthy, all that goodness...
be open, be honest, talk to her, tell her things about you...let her into your life...in your mind...so she understands what makes YOU tick..so she can learn to predict your behaviors...your actions, reactions, etc to situations....this should further her comfort level with you, with the relationship, and help further lessen the burden of trying to repair what some assholes did years ago...(and the mental work she has possibly done to herself since..)
Someone mentioned you need to be a piller for her ... and in a way, for a while, perhaps a LONG while..perhaps, forever, you may have to be. Are you prepared for that? is she worth it to you? if she is ... then don't let the possibility of being her piller forever weigh you done. it won't always feel like she is leaning on you, just when she needs it ... are you strong enough for that? you need to be honest with yourself...it would be really damaging for her to have you there, supporting her, then deciding to abandon ship down the road because it is getting too tough. it isn't an easy road ... in the end, it is all about you and her ... and what future you see for eachother...
anyway, yeah, its a rambling post...but i just couldnt sit back and have advice given of 'run' etc being offered...
-v
