Thanks darling! I always keep myself safe, and the number one way I do that is: Make rules, then don't make exceptions to them.
xox
Ms Erica
Racism versus Preference: Hatemail
- Thread starter Ms Erica Phoenix
- Start date
xox
Ms Erica
I kind of did, didn't I?
ound:I would give him a cookie if he could a) pronounce Eritrea, let alone find it on a map; b) tell me where some of the many languages spoken include Peshtun, Urdu, Arabic and Punjabi, c) remove his cranium from where it has become unfortunately embedded neck deep in his rectal cavity!
I did, didn't I? :clap2: So ironic: I was bullied at school in grade 3 for having a 'Paki' friend and being a Paki-lover, because of my French/Tamil friend! They had her surrounded; they kept taunting them to show them her monkey tail. shouted at them, and I screamed at them after they pushed me down so they would leave her alone...t (This was 1972 or so...) Then I went home crying and asked my mom what that word meant. Oh, and lezzie, because they called us THAT too.
I also think it is more responsible and mature thing to do to state that information right up front rather than refusing to return calls, or emails, or take bookings, just in the same way that everyone who comes to see me knows that I am not trying to pass myself as a transsexual porn star, or anything other than 100% Erica...I really do enjoy spending time with people and making them feel good about themselves in a way that both of us (OR ALL THREE OF US FOR THAT MATTER!) can thoroughly enjoy!
Kisses
xoox
Ms Erica
I don't know... Seems like a lot of people to eliminate right off the bat. I doubt you know anywhere near 25% of Surrey. lol
South Asia= India, Pakistan, Srilanka, Maldives, Bangladesh etc
South "East" Asian- China, Malaysia etc etc
Great reply Erica. It shows what a real educated response looks like. Kuddos to you for everything you have done for the South Asian community. I see a lot of Caucasian ladies at South Asian festivals and they don't feel out of place because they have literally grownup in that culture. Some of my Caucasian friends have more sarees and suits than I do!
You are an amazing person for all the amazing you have done in the past and continuing to do so. Only South Asian ladies aren't the only ones allowed to put NO EI clients on their ads. Everyone has their own personal reasons. I know of a lady who has an African boyfriend and will not see other Africans due to discretionary purposes and because her boyfriend felt uncomfortable with the idea of it- not because she is racist. You don't have to explain to pricks like that but you know what? Once in a while its necessary. He needed to hear that response. The saddest thing is someone who writes an email out of such anger and ignorance will not be able to digest what you wrote. As it was said before if I choose to not associate with you thats personal its not prejudice.
You are an amazing person for all the amazing you have done in the past and continuing to do so. Only South Asian ladies aren't the only ones allowed to put NO EI clients on their ads. Everyone has their own personal reasons. I know of a lady who has an African boyfriend and will not see other Africans due to discretionary purposes and because her boyfriend felt uncomfortable with the idea of it- not because she is racist. You don't have to explain to pricks like that but you know what? Once in a while its necessary. He needed to hear that response. The saddest thing is someone who writes an email out of such anger and ignorance will not be able to digest what you wrote. As it was said before if I choose to not associate with you thats personal its not prejudice.
First I want to say that I am 100% supportive of Ms. Erica's right to be selective, without even needing to justify her selectivity.
That said I got into a debate with a friend of mine about this and I'm trying to come up with a good answer to his rebuttal. He accused me of a double standard because a couple months ago there was a couple in the BBC News who were running a bed and breakfast and they didn't want to allow gay couples to stay with them. I said then that if they couldn't do business without discriminating then they shouldn't have gone into that business. He asks why the same argument does not apply? I said that sexual service was more personal and he countered that letting people into your home is personal, maybe not as intensely personal but on the other hand you have to deal with it longer.
He suggests that if the sex trade were completely decriminalized it should be subject to the same anti-discrimination laws as any business. I'd argue that businesses can and do discriminate... doctors, lawyers, dentists, etc. get to be selective about who they take on without having to justify it. To which he says "then why not bed and breakfast owners"?
The best I can come up with is that sexual service requires a connection as part of the service whereas in a bed and breakfast, even if they're in your personal space, interaction is not part of the service you're paying for. Since it's a personal thing to decide just how personal one's home is vs. one's body, it's a delicate distinction though.
Maybe I'm wrong and the bed and breakfast owners should have the same right to selectivity.
Thoughts?
That said I got into a debate with a friend of mine about this and I'm trying to come up with a good answer to his rebuttal. He accused me of a double standard because a couple months ago there was a couple in the BBC News who were running a bed and breakfast and they didn't want to allow gay couples to stay with them. I said then that if they couldn't do business without discriminating then they shouldn't have gone into that business. He asks why the same argument does not apply? I said that sexual service was more personal and he countered that letting people into your home is personal, maybe not as intensely personal but on the other hand you have to deal with it longer.
He suggests that if the sex trade were completely decriminalized it should be subject to the same anti-discrimination laws as any business. I'd argue that businesses can and do discriminate... doctors, lawyers, dentists, etc. get to be selective about who they take on without having to justify it. To which he says "then why not bed and breakfast owners"?
The best I can come up with is that sexual service requires a connection as part of the service whereas in a bed and breakfast, even if they're in your personal space, interaction is not part of the service you're paying for. Since it's a personal thing to decide just how personal one's home is vs. one's body, it's a delicate distinction though.
Maybe I'm wrong and the bed and breakfast owners should have the same right to selectivity.
Thoughts?
I'm on your side on this, but I think you're saying the same thing he did in your second paragraph.
On the first point, I argue they're different too, but he maintains that if you can decide for whom something personal to you (your body or your home) is on the menu in one case, why not the other?
Edit: you know what? I don't feel like getting in trouble for posting someone else's opinion. I've given him the link and he can make his own argument here if he wants to. I will say that I don't think he's saying you shouldn't have a choice but rather that others should also. I'm not sure anyone here really cares what the policies of a B&B are and whether they're fair, so I probably shouldn't have hijacked the thread at all. My apologies.
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Sometimes I wonder if the men do these things just in HOPES of receiving a response.
its your body and you can see whoever you want
when you single out a race of people that you do not want to see you label yourself as a racist
just because you 'explain' why you don't want to see that race of people it does not diminish the display of racism, and it is ok for you to select you who want to see based on race, and if you do you are a racist
what you are trying to say is you do not want to see a GROUP of people who you may have other contact with who happen to be prominently from a certain race. Your chosen method and language does not allow for people from that race who you would never have opportunity to meet (they live elsewhere for example) to see you because of their race.
This is common in our country - for people to justify racist views through elaborate explanations.
Your explanation does show your openness to the race your do not want to see and it also shows how you chose not to take the effort to use language that more precisely explains what you are trying to achieve. Your are obviously intelligent so I would put it down to a moment of laziness that may have been supported by an attitude of "why do I have to go to that length to show I am not a racist when I know I am not one . . ." happens all the time in this wonderful land
and its your body and you can see who you want - and that makes you neither a racist nor a non-racist. It is your choice of "selection method" and language to explain that that makes you seem a racist
when you single out a race of people that you do not want to see you label yourself as a racist
just because you 'explain' why you don't want to see that race of people it does not diminish the display of racism, and it is ok for you to select you who want to see based on race, and if you do you are a racist
what you are trying to say is you do not want to see a GROUP of people who you may have other contact with who happen to be prominently from a certain race. Your chosen method and language does not allow for people from that race who you would never have opportunity to meet (they live elsewhere for example) to see you because of their race.
This is common in our country - for people to justify racist views through elaborate explanations.
Your explanation does show your openness to the race your do not want to see and it also shows how you chose not to take the effort to use language that more precisely explains what you are trying to achieve. Your are obviously intelligent so I would put it down to a moment of laziness that may have been supported by an attitude of "why do I have to go to that length to show I am not a racist when I know I am not one . . ." happens all the time in this wonderful land
and its your body and you can see who you want - and that makes you neither a racist nor a non-racist. It is your choice of "selection method" and language to explain that that makes you seem a racist
You should see the hateful comment I received when I told someone that I didn't offer a half-hour session.
It comes with the territory, and is only worth an ignore. I think you're spending way too much time and energy on this issue, Miss Erica. Ohm........................
It comes with the territory, and is only worth an ignore. I think you're spending way too much time and energy on this issue, Miss Erica. Ohm........................
Bed and Breakfast, and other such services are not intimate, so prejudice is just that: prejudice. If they merchant is not comfortable is irrelevant, since their personal comfort is not involved. There is no physical contact with the client.
When intimacy is involved, the rules change.
For example, if you are riding on a bus it is reasonable to expect people to accept others being within their space, but it ceases to be reasonable to expect people to accept it when there is physical contact involved.
When that happens you have to respect people's sensitivities about that contact, no matter what their motive or what you believe is their motive.
What if the example was a massage therapist instead of a B&B? I ask because I've thought about that a lot, and it really seems like a grey area to me. On the one hand, people should have a right to not be discriminated against and get their massages (after all, like me they could have an old injury that requires regular massages in order to live a normal life), but on the other hand those massage therapists have to really get in there with physical contact and work it out. I could never do a job like that because I just know there would be some cases in which I'd be totally uncomfortable with touching a client like that, and I don't know if I'd be legally allowed to refuse service.
