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Question - your usual routine?

Dave in Phoenix

Active member
Jul 6, 2002
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Phoenix AZ
www.sexworkcanada.com
Question someone PM'd me after my trip reports to Victoria
Sorry it took to long to reply:

Question - your usual routine?
hi Dave,
I enjoyed reading your reviews this past week. I don't have many opportunities to see service providers so I rely a lot on other people's accounts. In one of you posts you mentioned your "routine". I'm always looking for new ways to keep my time with women, in general, fresh and exciting. Could you share what it is that your routine involves?

Dave says:
Interesting question. I don't want a session to seem just mechanical by a "routine" but I do find my own personal routine which isn't fixed but can vary with provider, at least helpful. Communications is also important so that the provider knows what types of sex/intimacy you desire in a session. In my experience, most providers appreciate knowing what you enjoy rather than just taking control and assuming you like what most others do.

I also feel that it is just being efficient with time to have a "routine" you enjoy to know how to fit what you enjoy the most in an 1 hour session. Without trying to make it sound too mechanical I am happy to share my usual routine which may help others with ideas. Take would you like, add what you want and delete what you don't want to do.

I am also very open in that I have different interests than perhaps the "normal" customer. Especially since I don't care much for oral sex either on me or DATY on the provider. I usually tell them that up front which most appreciate. I say I enjoy doing some nice massage on them and skip the typical oral part of most providers session. I usually joke that I've met women who only know how to put a condom on me by having it in their mouth and putting on me orally. I may say that is fine, I don't dislike oral sex, it just doesn't do much for me vs more full body contact sex.

I start off with the provider, nude preferred, on her stomach and I do some muscle relaxing massage on her back, neck, shoulders. Often I get especially in nude-reverse body rub gals in Ontario, "gee you know what your doing" within the first 30 seconds.

I encourage guys to learn some good basic massage skills. I have the advantage that I've been professionally trained in Esalen, have taught couples massage workshops, hosted massage rooms at swing clubs and conventions etc. It is a great way to get a gal comfortable with you and your touch. I combine some real muscle work with more caring sensual Esalen type strokes but never do anything directly sexual. I've also been told my zillions of gals that I have nice soft hands - have no idea why - just lucky to have soft hands and it seems nice touch. I don't want to come across as "Gods gift to women" but simply encourage others to learn the type of massage and sensual but non sexual touch that most women enjoy the most.

While on their stomach's I also do some fairly deep butt (gluteus maximus muscle) massage totally non sexual but often gets good response since rarely have done to them and many don't know how nice can feel. Then briefly on back of legs with some soft flowing strokes.

I then ask if they want to turn over. They are usually very relaxed and comfortable by this time. And I get a great deal of pleasure massaging, touching, caressing an attractive, women's body in a nice way. I am turned off by large BBW women, which I simply admit as a personal preference. I prefer medium to slender providers, especially tall, although that isn't as important as slim to medium builds.

On their backs I usually ask if they like their face massaged. About 90% of women do. Others have face issues and don't. If they say they enjoy I love to massage and caringly caress face, massage temples etc. I also do some deeper muscle work on usually tight necks etc.

I like to next massage the pectoral muscles (that hold up the breasts). I often get great response since rarely get massaged and feels good. Most guys just want to go for the breasts and grope and grab many providers tell me. Next I do nice breast massage, kneading the way that is actually beneficial in moving toxins out lymph nodes (Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center even supports breast massage to help prevent or help breast cancer). I very much enjoy massaging nice natural breasts as long as not too big.

Next I usually massage down the arms and do a nice hand massage - another technique that often gets great response. My ending is a upward stretch position and side stroking that is typical Esalen stroke but far easier to do on a massage table than a bed.

On both front and back, I do very brief massage on legs and some long flowing full body strokes typical of Esalen. If I am doing massage at home on a massage table I usually also do foot massage. But with limited time and while it feels great to the receiver, I'm prefer doing other body parts and don't take the time.

After the front I do more with my own body contact on the gal, and gently move them more to a side position (usually can most gently move them that way) and transition to a side-by-side cuddle position. Usually get great response and do continuing massage combined with more sensual stroking, caressing and cuddling.

I gradually transition to being a bit more sexual but not by fingering her. When she was on her stomach I also do some work on a sexual spot on her back. I want to keep a few secrets.. although I've talked about it before. There is a pressure point that few people realize how sexual it is for most men and women. It is well known in Tantra, but if your not into Hindu goddess beliefs, it is physically where there are many sexual nerve endings. I work this a bit more in the side cuddle position, holding her body close, squeezing gently etc. I often get very great response at this point.

I very much enjoy this transition time especially if getting a great intimacy response from the provider. With a friend can spend hours at this stage. But with a hour time limit I typically am now about 20-30 minutes into the session and what I call the first awkward moment. I enjoy but want to be in her sexually also. I usually say something like, "would you like to put a condom on me?". The downside is it breaks the intimacy since she may have to get up or reach over to get the condom, but usually get obvious agreement.

I like to have her start out on top. Here my routine gets less "routine" and more into body negociating and what she likes to do and if I detect she is being truly sexually stimulated (not just acting) or not. I prefer slow but she may go into fast mode. My favorite on bottom position however is with her lying totally on top of me inserted so have full body contact, can stoke and caress her and using PC muscle can move penis sensually in her with an occasional more thrusting move. With a women who has strong PC muscles and realizes what your doing, it can be a wonderful dance like body movements with both enjoying the PC stimulation.

At some point in this I usually make by 2nd "odd Dave" confession (first being about skipping the usual oral sex). The fact is I rarely orgasm from sex and often can go on for a very long time. I usually say I very much enjoy sex but that cumming isn't my goal, since rarely do and has nothing to do with her. Try and communicate if they are enjoying the sex and do cum, relax enjoy the ride, don't worry about me, I do enjoy and seek to overcome any idea its their job to get me off, since that isn't my goal since just won't happen. I am not trying to hold back, I simply last very long. It is actually kind of an advantage since I can enjoy sexuality long time. I do cum via masturbation but just not intercourse.

I had an interesting experience in Toronto with an escort that after my "confession", told me she rarely cums and she appreciated knowing she can just relax and enjoy sensual sex. But as the session continued she seemed to be getting more and more sexually stimulated. She thrusted very fast sex on top, and seemed to be getting very intense.

Then her cell phone rang (driver call) and she yelled "DAMM!" After the call she told me it was the first time for a long time that she was almost to the point of climax when the phone rang and she hadn't orgasmed in like a year. Being able to relax and enjoy not just with a goal of getting me off, helped her enjoy the sex more herself not having to feel guilty about "doing her job" to get me off.

Depending on time and situation, I usually like some time in the man on top and missionary position. I have a 2nd "secret technique" that many women say they very much enjoy but rarely experience which is very full body contact with me on top which providers a great deal of G spot stimulation. Since I'm heavy (215lbs and 6-2) the position puts a lot of weight on the women, I am careful and am sure they are comfortable. Ironically it seems some of the smallest petite women have no problem and some larger women have more problem with all the weight. To my pleasant surprise I did cum in this position with a provider in Victoria. That is rare but it provides a great deal of stimulation to both the male and female if she can stand the weight of the man.

Continued part 2
 

Dave in Phoenix

Active member
Jul 6, 2002
196
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28
Phoenix AZ
www.sexworkcanada.com
Continued Part 2

Continued from part 1

I've noted some women that don't cum easily from sex are very stimulated and can more easily cum from the doggie position. I have a hard time doing it however, since it strains my back. On the edge of the bed is better. I would like to experiment using Liberator shapes see http://www.libchrist.com/Liberator.html I first heard about it from Sue Johanson's sex education program while in Canada. She is known as "the Sex Lady" in Canada. She says about Liberator Shapes "on our Hot Stuff Hibachi of Love, this product rates four sizzling briquets" On her List of Top 10 Sex Toys, she says, "The possibilities are endless and your mother in law will never guess what they are really for." There is also a bondage version of the shapes. I have a set but cant exactly take them to Canada and have been too busy when in Phoenix to experiment with them.

Since I'm a well aged old guy, I often get questions about Viagara especially since I'm so long lasting at my advanced age :( It doesn't seem to make much difference either regarding orgasms or staying power. I usually take half a pill just for "insurance". But if I don't doesn't seem much different except... if there is an interruption.

The interruption problem first occurred on my 40th birthday - wonderful girlfriend had great sensual time planned. All went well until she asked me to change some music and I had to get up and find a different tape etc. I went flat and it took a long time to re inflate. Since then has happened other times and that is what Viagara mainly prevents. For exempla when I'm in nice sensual massage mode, which I very much enjoy its more caring and loving for the moment than sexual. Just massaging even a beautiful naked body isn't that sexual for me. If I had been sexually aroused before, than go into more massage mode without Viagara may be hard to get back to sexual. That is typical as we age from my research. Also with us "older men" when some of us ejaculate its more a ooze out than spirt to hit the ceiling like supposedly with the young studs. As men we just have to accept and adjust to aging. We all age ..at the same rate.. we are just starting the trip down the age alley at different points based on when we are born!

Depending on the time factor or if with a female friend I enjoy ending a session, or spending a long time cuddling, maybe talking in various spoon positions.

I am very open in sharing ideas and my experiences and hope such sharing of ideas might be helpful to some others. I am exploring if there is interest workshops (in Phoenix and even Canada possibly) on some of the intimate sensual/sexuality ideas I have developed over the years but need time and the right female partner/s to make it happen. I have trademarked the name "LoveTouch" in the U.S. and have a domain www.lovetouch.info (.com etc already taken but not the trade name).
 

Herb_The_Perb

Senior Member
Jan 4, 2005
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Far South of the Border
Dave, what a great pair of posts!
Thanks for being so open and informative.
Massaging a woman lovingly for her own benefit is one of the great pleasures and privileges of life.

I've watched the Esalen massage video several times and taken detailed notes, but it sounds as though your system is even better. (Maybe they were holding back some information? -- They did make a questionable business decision to shoot the tape with the massagers clothed and the clients draped, which is not really the authentic practice. They thought this would open up a wider market for them.)

Have you ever considered making a massage video/DVD that demonstrates your abilities and methods, and selling it to people who are serious about improving their therapeutic/sensuous massage skills? IMO, that would be a valuable resource for many members of the community. There's a PERBian in Vancouver who's also gifted with his hands, just as you are. Maybe the two of you could collaborate.
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
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Great post Dave!

I agree that massaging a woman during a session is a good idea, provided you are able to keep it to strictly massage. When I have taken the time to do this, I get much better GFE as a result either in the current session or the next one. If I sense that the provider is not going to have good massage techniques, I'd just rather massage her instead. It's a good way to get into the session and can set the mood right for her.
 

Dave in Phoenix

Active member
Jul 6, 2002
196
26
28
Phoenix AZ
www.sexworkcanada.com
georgebushmoran
Exactly it really sets the tone for a great GFE session.

Herb_The_Perb
The problem I have with the video other than having to not be nude so can be sold on famly sites and bookstores, is too much of the New Age/Tantra hocus pocus (with all due respect just my view). My goal of LoveTouch is not to have to use Hindu religious beliefs (such as Tantra) as an excuse to enjoy caring, sensual and sexual techniques.

Yes I have thought of a video, just need the right production folks and female partner to do with with. Or, workshops where can discuss live. Would like to include female on male techniques also. And other men with other techniques to share.

There seem to be a lot of guys and gals in Victoria good with their hands (must be something in the water). If you can let me know who you have in mind, would like to know for future reference. If don't want public can PM or e-mail me at dave@davephx.com
 

Herb_The_Perb

Senior Member
Jan 4, 2005
2,008
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Far South of the Border
Dave in Phoenix said:
There seem to be a lot of guys and gals in Victoria good with their hands (must be something in the water). If you can let me know who you have in mind, would like to know for future reference. If don't want public can PM or e-mail me at dave@davephx.com
The guy I have in mind is in Vancouver, not Victoria.
I'll email him to see if he's willing to be identified to you, and then I'll let you know.

I really didn't notice any tantra in the Esalen tape -- new age stuff, yes, but that's to be expected since they helped invent the whole thing. I wouldn't dismiss it, sine it helped create a sexual and consciousness revolution that we are all benefitting from. Eastern religions such as tantra and taoism celebrate sex, while conventional christianity tends to repress it.
 
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