Question for the ladies?

[pervirgin]

Is it possible for an Sp to retire completely from work once they find someone they are in love with? The reason i ask, I'm dating one the the more famous sp's. But have a regular job and know there isn't anyway i can compete with the money she is making. I didn't start off as client or have i ever been, but knew what she was when i met her. I do not have a problem with what she does. I love her and nothing will change my feeling. I know that the money is what keeps women doing this kind of work.

At what point do i give up and say "if you love me maybe it's time to do something else"? Or do i take steps back and leave her alone until she quits? Ladies need your help on this one. I am starting to think she loves the work more then our relationship.

 

[oblomov]

I don't beleive in advices. Every situation is unique.

 

[pervirgin]

Thanks for all your opinions, i think its all about attention and maybe she's never been completely honest with her feelings to begin with. I know plenty of men who have dated and even married working girls. So the old adage you can't turn a ho into a house wife is not true. I was always taught when you love someone it's unconditionally, through good and bad times. I am moving on and wish her nothing but the best. I hope when the rest of you ladies fine someone that loves and accepts you for you. Chose love, money can't buy happiness only purse and shoes. You can not sell companionship all your life. She just lost the only person who actually loved her for her, and not for how good she makes you feel for an hour.

 

[hugedman]

I might just put in my 2 cents as well.

I think as long as you are the last man that she's going to bed with, then it's worth to pursue the relationship - don't even talk about her past, it's not something you need to dwell on, but to look ahead to the future where you both will build upon. If not, then you might just move on...

All the best, bud

 

[athaire]

Well I might be generalizing it seems there are 2 types of SP's that exist. The first are those that actually respect a male that's willing to step outside the comfort zone and date someone in the sex trade. The second are those that really don't understand that they really have issues with males. Males become incredibly disposible to them..much like a BIC lighter to a smoker. They place HUGE expectations on their dudes BUT are simply unable to place those same limits on themselves. And often in the end, a $300 dollar date is more important than their relationship with those males willing to invest in them. Because to them men are disposible.

Just a thought dude.

Interesting food for thought Dood......

 

[athaire]

There are a lot of people in this world, mostly men, who sacrifice their personal lives for high paying jobs. I think it's unfair to pass that judgement onto the ladies in this industry when it applies to a huge segment of society.

Well said badbone....Not everyone in the world needs to get married....in fact, less people should.

So true.......

 

[susi]

if you really love some one why would you try to change them? i think it's sad that people can't understnad that we can work and love....

being an sp doesn't mean you should have to "appreciate the men willing to invest in us"....it makes it sound like we should be so greatful a man would love us at all that we should change who we are to show our humble gratitude.

i also don't think its fair to say we fall into 2 groups, those who will subserviently change and appreciate the man who "saved us" or money grubbing gold diggers.....

why is it hard to believe we can love and work? i have alot of love to share and love many of the men i have known. yes i work for money but that doesn't make some kind of greed machine incapable of feeling...?

any man entering a relationship with an sp should do so in the spirit of acceptance. if you love her, why ask her to change? is love not when we embrace another soul? why does job matter?

in my opinion asking her to change is a reflection of your on fear of being sexually inadequate.not that you are, that is not what i am saying, just that your own fears are dictating this discussion.

any man i have ever dated/married/fucked for fun have understood and accepted who i am. some men have walked away, confused when i outed myself as an sp. i just chalk that up to fear once again and a lack of understanding of the way sp's live. i always think to myself "oh well, it wouldn't have worked anyway" when they walk away and am greatful to have not wasted my time.

it takes a strong and confident man to love a sex worker. i have known many who can do it and not try to change us.

ask yourself, why is this an issue? is it what she does? the fact she makes more money? fear of loss?

just sayin, try to accept her and support her no matter what she decides.

love susieXXXO

 

[pervirgin]

Thanks for all your thoughts and opinions. They have opened my eyes.

When I fell in love, there was no if ands or buts. I wanted to retire immediately.

Everyone is different, but I just knew I could not do my job with the level of passion and connection I was accustomed to providing. I knew if I continued to work, which was an option, it would diminish my ability to give my all to my true love. This is who I am, and I respect that other ladies in this business are not me, and are able to juggle both worlds perfectly.

The fact my man did not ask me to leave the business was one of the reasons I fell even deeper in love with him.

Thanks Nina, you have the best opinion and the one i was looking to hear. I never gave her a choice, what good would that be? I am sure she will do whats best in her heart.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

try looking at it this way

you are the CEO of some fortune 500 company, raking in 4 million a year not counting even bigger bonuses

you fall in love with a smart gorgeous young woman with two kids from a previous marriage. she's been through this before and knows that your job doesn't make for the kind of mate she and her kids need. she wants you to go to the next level, marriage, but she insists that you quit your job in order to do so

do you quit your job?

except for the financial details, what you are hoping for is a lot like what the fictional milf above is hoping for

 

[hugedman]

My question for the ladies here is what would they do if the situation had been reversed

 

[Holly Taylor]

I know several escorts who are married or in serious relationships and are perfectly happy doing both. Why assume that she should stop, or that she would want to stop? If she doesn't like her work, that's one thing...but if you're open to the idea of a non-monagamous relationship, then working and marriage are entirely possible to pursue at the same time.

 

[susi]

Whose trying to change you? Or save you? I talk to a handful of dudes on this site that date SP's and I hear a VERY common refrain from them. The expectations put on them are much higher than the expectations the SP's put on themselves. One of the most common i hear is "I don't want you to poon". Um, sorry, you're an SP for a living and you take issue with your guy paying for sex? That's totally hypocritical . If you're going to let dudes fuck you for a living, then as the BF of a SP why shouldn't he have the right to engage in casual NON emotional sex? Or how about the simple requests like "no overnights" or "dont' fuck my friends". Yet, when your dudes best friends calls you and has a roll of greens in his hand suddenly you forget the agreement. That's not us changing you or saving you. It's guys asking for SIMPLE limits on certain things yet it always seems like it's too much to ask.

The reality of all relationships is that people do make changes to who they are. Single males live much differently than they do when they pair up and share a place. While it might be OK for a dude to get shitfaced and play XBOX 10 hours a day as a single guy he's not going to do that when he's living with his SO. People adjust their schedules & they're way of living for their SO's (both sexes do it).

Most guys with the balls to date SP's accept what they do for a living. They don't have a problem with it. But they might want you to curtail things like overnights or not fucking their best friend or Dad. In return perhaps they'll stop pooning or invest their time as your security guy or your driver or do your photo's, etc, etc, etc.

Sorry Susi. Relationships are a 2 way street. Each person gives and takes a bit. That's not control that's respect. The line to decide what is control and respect is between two people. I don't think that saying "please don't fuck my best friend" is too much to ask. Yet, it seems when the roll of greens is in front of the SP's eyes...to many times they just can't refuse.

who is asking you not to poon? who is screwing your dad and best friend? c'mon dood...sorry if you got burned but it seems your comments are related to a specific event but not really reflective of the majority.

you're right, relationships are a 2 way street. i have never asked monogamy from an SO and never fucked any of their dads... you make a good point though that every situation/relationship is different and sp's and their SO's alike will have different expectations.

i just was a little struck by the assumptions being made here and wanted to comment is all.

love susie

 

[athaire]

Relationships are a 2 way street. Each person gives and takes a bit. That's not control that's respect.

Word.......

 

[wilde]

You can't win buddy. If you ask her to quit, some will say you don't love her enough to accept her for what she is. If she refuses to quit, some will say she doesn't love you enough to respect your feelings for her. Just do what your heart tells you, if you can't get over her line of work then walk away before you are in too deep (emotionally). Forcing the issue will only increase the resentment in the relationship.

 

[letsplay7625]

Would your man have stayed with you and have been able to take it to the next level if you did?

I would not have been interested in him at all if I knew he was totally fine with me staying in the business indefinitely. I'm a hardcore, dyed in the wool romantic who is monogamous and so is he.

I know many people in polyamourous relationships who seem happy and can manage their relationships just fine. My past experiences taught me that it's just not right for me. I want to give my all to my mate and know sharing my mojo with others would take away from what I can give him. My notion of the big love I always wanted means giving everything I have to my man.

Lol
Just noticed I posted this on my bfs handle.

Xoxo
Nina

 

[Adriana✿]

Two years ago I deleted my perb account, cell phone, took down my website and got a job in the field I went to college for, for him.


I like working, having lots of free time; but I love him more. but we/ME were/are not ready to get married and have kids, yet. He comes from a strict religious background and its hard for him to accept me, my past. It was such a struggle, I gave up and signed up to Perb again LOL. But Love chooses you! LOL He is waiting for me, I know he is. He still calls and hangs up on my work line, to check if I'm still hooking. I will always love him But I'm just not ready to settle down. In a year or two, I think I will be ready and will find him. And if not, it was a good ride and I look forward to someone accepting of my past.

 

[pervirgin]

Wow, you think you were the ONLY person who loved her for who she is? That is a pretty bold statement. I would suggest that if you truly loved her for who she is... knowing full well her line of work when you got involved with her, would indicate maybe you didn't truly love her at all. Not all women do this because they make good money. Sure that part is nice, but there are other benefits. Like being your own boss. Not having people in the regular work force, co-worker's or employer's treat you like shit. Not working long crazy hours for no pay because you are salaried. Not having any time to spend with friends or family, or any flexibility in your work schedule.... there are a lot of pros to working in the industry so long as you are doing it because it makes you happy. If this makes her happy, then you should be happy for her.

I was already with my common law husband for over 10 years before I asked him if I could do this. He loves me and trusts me and gave me his blessing. He admitted it was hard in the beginning, but now he is used to it. I can share my day with him.... to some extent LOL! And he loves that I don't come home complaining about my day at work like I did when in the office, that I am home to cook dinner for my family, that I am home together with my family in the mornings, instead of running to catch the bus at 6 am..... there are a lot of benefits that make my life, his life, and our family life in general much happier....

I am speaking out on the history and background she has told me from her own mouth. I love her very much and always will. I am not giving her any ultimatums because i will take a piece of her before i take none. It was a question i wanted some opinions on didn't mean to put your panties in a bunch. lol.