Question for the group...

[stargazer]

After Dufferin`s thread I feel great and seeing the response he received, it made me think about getting some input from the group. As I`m not usually one to open up to people, please be gentle.

Last October, a relationship I was in ended. This person was The one. As far as I was concerned, it was going to be life happily ever after. Obviously it wasn`t to be. Since the breakup, I`ve found it very difficult to get back on my feet again. Even 5 months later, this is affecting me in more ways than I want to admit and I can honestly say I`ve never been hurt like this before.

My question for everyone is this:

What do you do to mend a broken heart? How do you get over someone who you thought would be and wanted to be the rest of your life? And, most importantly...how do you stop the hurt?

I look forward to your responses.

 

[spaceghost]

I once read somewhere that it will take you, easily, three months for each year of time you were together for you to get over it.

I tend to agree with that from personal experience.

 

[Ophelia Black]

Breathe deeply, rent a buttload of the goofiest movies ever (Adam Sandler is a great start) and take up that great hobby/form of recreation/night class you've always been threatening to do but never quite got around to.

You need new experiences, fun, and memories that do not include your ex, and you probably need to meet a few new people as well.

And also? Do one daring, crazy, ridiculous thing you've always chickened out on before - you'll be great, and your confidence will soar!

Hope you feel better...

 

[drromance]

Yes, time and patience, and take note here friend, this may happen again!!! so, now you can be a potentail "wise man".. so, all is not lost.

 

[WC Drifter]

Never turn away.

Always leave the door open.

Forgive.

Lovers CAN be friends and the only part that is lost is the deep passion, intimacy and sex of an SO. If they were truly "the one" or "one of the few" then you will not lose as much as you could gain with this approach.

Finally, understand that usually the next one is better than the first because you know more what you want and what you cannot accept in a person. Meeting the next will be ecstasy.

 

[SPinVic]

Grendleaxe you are a wise man! I could not have said it better.....

 

[BS Detector]

Remember

- the good times that you DID have (rather than focus on the ones you won't have).
- that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all
- everything everyone has said so far in this thread.

 

[Hipster Doofus]

What do you do to mend a broken heart? How do you get over someone who you thought would be and wanted to be the rest of your life?

You could always hire a bunch of hookers!

You might not feel better but all your friends will think you're having a great time!

 

[stargazer]

Thank you all for your input. Leave it to Hipster to play on my fantasies

This has definately been a challenging period for me and I find that expressing it has made it someone easier. Thanks for indulging me.

 

[Hit Man]

When this happened to me about five years ago, the hardest thing was that I had lost my best friend. I suspect you feel the same way. It took me six months just to get out of counciling. What I did learn was that losing someone like that is like dealing with the death of someone like that. They're just gone and there's nothing you can do about it. Think about the stages you go through after an event like death. Denial, then anger, then sorrow, then healing. At five months you're still in the cusp of anger and sorrow. Give it more time and control your thoughts. You'll heal. Good luck.

 

[stargazer]

Thanks

Again, I appreciate all your responses and your input...thank you!