Question for anyone trying to retire from the hobby...
- Thread starter sandm
- Start date
Somebody has to say it.
Personally, I take more than a little offence to your posting here, because you're comparing me and my peers to heroin & crack cocaine, in effect. I don't like that. I don't like your assumption that I ruin lives. I made the choice to do this work initially because I was going to lose my home and I had no income, and jobs in my field of training & expertise were not available to me. I had to make the choice to leave conventional options behind, and go from a 9 to 5 for not much more than minimum wage to sexwork. Making that choice has allowed me to keep my home, and it has opened my eyes to a whole new world I never would have experienced, & it has brought some truly amazing people into my life...but there have been some amazing people leave it too, for whatever reason. Of course if people make the individual choice that they will no longer pay for sex, that is their decision, and of course, I wish them well. If, though, they decided they wanted to start recruiting other of my clients to quit by, say, joining a review forum where clients gather to discuss their 'hobby' and offering a way out? It would piss me off. It does piss me off.
Or did you have a plan to 'help exploited sex workers change their lives too!' once their clients have reformed? What you are talking about is "ending demand" by encouraging clients to quit. Have the courage of your convictions to say so.
You want honesty? Here's a little. Your encouraging people to see sexwork as something they should WANT to quit is HARMFUL to those of us who choose to do it. It smacks of abolition: end demand, and the supply will disappear.
Personally, I take more than a little offence to your posting here, because you're comparing me and my peers to heroin & crack cocaine, in effect. I don't like that. I don't like your assumption that I ruin lives. I made the choice to do this work initially because I was going to lose my home and I had no income, and jobs in my field of training & expertise were not available to me. I had to make the choice to leave conventional options behind, and go from a 9 to 5 for not much more than minimum wage to sexwork. Making that choice has allowed me to keep my home, and it has opened my eyes to a whole new world I never would have experienced, & it has brought some truly amazing people into my life...but there have been some amazing people leave it too, for whatever reason. Of course if people make the individual choice that they will no longer pay for sex, that is their decision, and of course, I wish them well. If, though, they decided they wanted to start recruiting other of my clients to quit by, say, joining a review forum where clients gather to discuss their 'hobby' and offering a way out? It would piss me off. It does piss me off.
Or did you have a plan to 'help exploited sex workers change their lives too!' once their clients have reformed? What you are talking about is "ending demand" by encouraging clients to quit. Have the courage of your convictions to say so.
If you are not... as you have stated... a therapist of any significant kind... why on earth would you already be presuming to think you are the person that those who may 'wish to quit the habit' <hehe> should seek out?
Messing with a persons brain, and I *am* speaking as a therapist...so hehe.... is NOT something one should do unless they are specifically trained/qualified.. and working with addictions... doesn't qualify... behaviour modification....?? that scares me, as again, who or what could have possibly given you the right to decide not only that you are a person who can do this (again, no actual qualifications or such things).. but that you *should*........
There are therapies/qualified folk and programs out there for sex addictions already, managed by qualified and professionally adept people.... perhaps it may be best to leave that sort of thing to those who are qualified.....as you had mentioned, you would simply be deferring people to them anyway.....
sorry for perhaps coming off harsh, but it is serious business messing about inside a persons psychie
Ohh my..... the *actual* education/experience is not 'perceived'.... it is something you have stated... that you are NOT qualified...... and therefore, should NOT, at all.. even be contemplating messing about with a brain or how it works.
Unless you *are* a qualified researcher.... and/or a *qualified* therapist... you should not be doing this.. the ramifications of doing so could cause irreparable damage to those that *may* seek help with this sort of thing.. but again, there are tons of addiction programs out there designed for sex addictions of almost any type.. I know, as I have actually referred a few people to them... none of them.. btw.. were what everyone terms a 'hobbyist' so hehe just sayin.....
If you are more knowledgeable, as you have also stated.. in the finance end of things.. maybe stick to doing the books.... safer.. both for your own career and the mental/emotional health of those you may truly wish to 'help'....
.......so I presume you've seen his ass, is it worth getting on ? If it is, don't be greedy....share.
To be fair his (let's say "he"... still unclear this is certain) topic headline addresses people who want to quit, rather than saying people should want to quit. There are a few users here who have expressed a desire to quit, so in theory I guess he was addressing them. And to them if there was a competent additional resource available, more power to them (literally).
I agree he does not encourage confidence in his qualifications. And I do agree there are already resources for "sex addiction" so it is a bit of an open question what he could possibly add. I kinda got the impression that he will try to seek out educated resources to construct the thing (whether agenda or bias driven or not, who knows), and act as producer of the video. So again to be fair the producer isn't the writer and probably isn't the one you ultimately need to have all the credentials.
Still, whatever. There's been much more judgmental threads than this.
I agree with the general premise of this topic because I have been doing my own self realization about my own addictive traits. I certainly would not seek out the OP for his/her opinion on the subject. The topic is quite timely for me.
Not a fan of these sort of dog piles but I am more interested in hearing other people's opinion on the subject rather than bashing the OP.
I recently found this five and a half minute video on addictions. It is highly watchable and changed my view on what addictions are all about and how to get rid of them. It's about drugs, but aplies to other addictions as well.
It's called: Everything We Think We Know About Addictions Is Wrong.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg
It's called: Everything We Think We Know About Addictions Is Wrong.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg
shure give me a way I can walk up to an atractive sober 18 to 24 year old atractive women and tell her I would like to have a blow job and vaginal sex with her with a condome on and the olny thing i would need is the condome and the lube . Then i will stop using escorts
Good luck with that the whole life coaching self help market is over flooded with people who basicly have no practicle skills that socity can use like being a plumber or electrican for example so they decide to become a life coach or an adicttion therapist.
The olny reson this behavior is seen as a problem in my opion is becase it is not socally aceptible and the reson for that has to do with money .
there are a lot of people who make money off of men who date women in the hopes of having sex with them.
a church like any institution is a busness and part of the way churches make money. Is by getting people to sign a contract called a marrage certificate. That alows the people who sign it the privlege of having sex with eachother . Our goverment and countless other industrys make money off of the traditional pattern of trying to find a person to date, . Takeing them out on a date or several dates .in the hopes that you might have sex with them . Heres another interesting fact about marrage and dateing The idea of a diamond engagement ring is not a religous traditon . It is in fact a marketing campaign Started In 1938, by the diamond cartel De Beers.
Now the dateing and marrage industry looks like it is trying to go after married peoples income . By promoteing "Date Nights" for married women to quote help keep the marrage together . I have herd to some of the storys about "date nights" from some of the married women I work with . For all intesive purposes the husband could have just given his wife his credit card and stayed home. The wives talk about how good the lobster was at the restrant they went to things like that and which high priced resterant or play they are going to go to on there next "date night" .
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Interesting. Thank you for sharing that. I suspect there is another layer to this that isn't explained in the video, whereby there are a few people who genuinely do get addicted, but I may be wrong about this.
Okay, I will overlook the issues around "speling."
This comment does raise the question as to what you think all these people should be doing given that so many jobs have been off-shored to cheaper locations.
If they all became electricians or plumbers, that would result in a massive oversupply in those areas and a collapse in income for many. There seems to be an unwarranted judgement in here.
And I believe there are specific training and skills needed to become an addictions therapist, so I wouldn't dismiss that.
What should they be doing... or should woman stop having babies 'cause there aren't enough jobs for people? Just curious...
Yes, there certainly have been more judgemental threads; undoubtedly they would piss me off too.! I didn't address the qualifications issue either, but I will say this. I spent 20+ years working in education. I also spent a lot of years attending 12 Step meetings religiously. When I decided I had to quit drinking, I went to the experts in alcoholism. I've had a lot of therapy, including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy & Brief Narrative Therapy, always under the care of an expert. I've studied the merits & results of both in an educational setting as well as advanced coursework at the Master's level in both quantitative & qualitative research methodology in the social sciences at an acclaimed Canadian university, and I know a thing or two about long term planning, curriculum development & online learning as well. I'm sure that there may be resources around for those for whom sex addiction is very real.
I'm NOT sure this is the right forum to promote the agenda.
Your opinions are your own and you are entitled to them.shure give me a way I can walk up to an atractive sober 18 to 24 year old atractive women and tell her I would like to have a blow job and vaginal sex with her with a condome on and the olny thing i would need is the condome and the lube . Then i will stop using escorts
Good luck with that the whole life coaching self help market is over flooded with people who basicly have no practicle skills that socity can use like being a plumber or electrican for example so they decide to become a life coach or an adicttion therapist.
The olny reson this behavior is seen as a problem in my opion is becase it is not socally aceptible and the reson for that has to do with money .
there are a lot of people who make money off of men who date women in the hopes of having sex with them.
a church like any institution is a busness and part of the way churches make money. Is by getting people to sign a contract called a marrage certificate. That alows the people who sign it the privlege of having sex with eachother . Our goverment and countless other industrys make money off of the traditional pattern of trying to find a person to date, . Takeing them out on a date or several dates .in the hopes that you might have sex with them . Heres another interesting fact about marrage and dateing The idea of a diamond engagement ring is not a religous traditon . It is in fact a marketing campaign Started In 1938, by the diamond cartel De Beers.
Now the dateing and marrage industry looks like it is trying to go after married peoples income . By promoteing "Date Nights" for married women to quote help keep the marrage together . I have herd to some of the storys about "date nights" from some of the married women I work with . For all intesive purposes the husband could have just given his wife his credit card and stayed home. The wives talk about how good the lobster was at the restrant they went to things like that and which high priced resterant or play they are going to go to on there next "date night" .
Having said that, your stated views on marriage and money are REALLY fucking distorted.
The marriage and dating "industries" go after people's incomes? FFS, name me a commercial enterprise that doesn't.
People get married for the privilege of having sex? Wake up buddy- maybe only in the Amish world. The rest of us have sex regardless.
Date nights? So what if the wife raves on about the lobster, or a great wine, and the next high priced restaurant- if you were married you would understand that that is all part of it.
The husband should just give wifey his credit card and stay home? Again, so what? Sometimes that's a great idea- wife and friends have an excellent time while hubby maybe just relaxes at home with a cocktail and a game on the TV. The money in a married relationship is communal anyway in my opinion, regardless of which partner makes what income.
You come across as quite naive and inexperienced, and in fact if you were ever married I'm sure your cheap ass would get dumped in a hurry.
We all see SPs for a huge variety of reasons- you say that for you it's about getting blown by sober attractive 18-24 year olds with no questions asked- and good for you - all the power to you
Hey, If you want to stop. Stop - simple. Too many programs around designed to "cure" supposed addictions. What happened to personal responsibility. Really not sure why anyone would want to quit unless it's a money situation and that should take care of itself - hard to buy company when your broke?.
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Larry Storch
This is basically what this is all about. An online course. Perhaps cobbled together with some info from forums such as this and sprinkled with an easy 12 step program. A simple way to make a few bucks.
