Question for all SPs

[damienofthenigh]

I realize this question is a little more personal, but i'm extremely curious to find out the answers,it effects my life dirrectly.

How many of you have boyfriends or husbands that know the details of what you do...or are they just told of a different ocupation completly?

I totally appreciate any feedback it means a lot to me.

Thanks Ladies

 

[Extreme April]

I am married, with five kids (all my biological children with my husband) Been with him now for over 18 years.
We discussed this before I entered into this business.

As long as he doesnt see the clients or have to meet them, then he is cool with it. He likes to hear details of the sessions, because it is a turn on for him.
He says that as long as he doesnt have to worry about me running off with anyone, then he is ok.
I just laugh and tell him, why would I want to start over again....it has taken me years to mold him to my liking....why would I want another 18 years to start all over again with someone new.
When I get shifts where there is mostly bjs or hjs, then I am so worked up when he picks me up afterwards, that I am practically raping the poor guy on the way home....of course he loves this

Thats my situation. Honesty to me is the best way to be. No lies to cover up and it will only make this person really angry with you for being dishonest.

I guess if you truly love someone, you dont want to lie to them cause you dont want to lose them for being dishonest.

love and laughs
April

 

[melissa.in.abby]

Obviously, My husband knows what I do to. I am new to it, but we have always had a open-type of relationship, which involves the sharing of fantasies, and swinging (all though it has been a long time since we have had some group sex!). I absolutely love it when my husband is all hard and excited for someone else it gets me so aroused!!!! He likes watching me s*ck and f*ck to ;-)

 

[Annalise Lane]

I tell everyone I date on the first date - that gives them time to decide if I'm the girl for him without lies. Most gentleman are not ok with it.

The way I see it is - I am taking another person's health in my hands, I take that responsiblity seriously.

 

[susi]

That is the right way to do it definately. Especially since I'm sure many sps don't use the same level of protection if any with guys in thier private life. A guy definately deserves to know a girl is an sp before he makes a choice about having sex with her. I'm sure that many guys would not feel too safe having sex with an sp.

once again, cast as the vector of disease!!

an sp know's more about safe sex than some square girl you might pick up in a bar.

many guys obviously do feel safe having sex with an sp- just look at this board-

i am always honest with men i meet however and agree openness is the best policy-

you have made some pretty big assumptions about how sp's interact with their SO's-

people always assume we can't find a man or somehow are different then "regular women" or that men would not want us if they knew what we do for work- i have never been "alone" and most of my partners were grateful to be with a woman who understands their needs sexually-

you are so "sure" you know how we live- you are dead wrong son!!!

love susieXXXO

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I tell everyone I date on the first date - that gives them time to decide if I'm the girl for him without lies. Most gentleman are not ok with it.

The way I see it is - I am taking another person's health in my hands, I take that responsiblity seriously.

Well that must be quite the ice breaker..lol

 

[smackyo]

once again, cast as the vector of disease!!

an sp know's more about safe sex than some square girl you might pick up in a bar.

many guys obviously do feel safe having sex with an sp- just look at this board-

i am always honest with men i meet however and agree openness is the best policy-

you have made some pretty big assumptions about how sp's interact with their SO's-

people always assume we can't find a man or somehow are different then "regular women" or that men would not want us if they knew what we do for work- i have never been "alone" and most of my partners were grateful to be with a woman who understands their needs sexually-

you are so "sure" you know how we live- you are dead wrong son!!!

love susieXXXO

i'm not sure thats quite what he was getting at, but maybe it was. i don't know cause i didn't say it but i can see how you would have interpreted it the way you did. its good that you found someone that loves you and wants to be with you and is alright with your choice in work.

if i can add my two cents, based on a recent experience. if i was casually seeing someone and being an sp is what they did for a living and i really cared about that person like i did then for the time being it wouldn't be too big an issue. but once it got a little more serious then there is no way i'd be cool with it and the relationship could not go forward if she continued. pretty sure most guys feel this way.

however and i don't mean this sarcastically at all, its good for you that you found one that doesn't but i really doubt that guys like him are the majority.

 

[melissa.in.abby]

however and i don't mean this sarcastically at all, its good for you that you found one that doesn't but i really doubt that guys like him are the majority.

Just like women like me, who enjoy their husband being with other women isn't the norm

 

[susi]

i'm not sure thats quite what he was getting at, but maybe it was. i don't know cause i didn't say it but i can see how you would have interpreted it the way you did. its good that you found someone that loves you and wants to be with you and is alright with your choice in work.

if i can add my two cents, based on a recent experience. if i was casually seeing someone and being an sp is what they did for a living and i really cared about that person like i did then for the time being it wouldn't be too big an issue. but once it got a little more serious then there is no way i'd be cool with it and the relationship could not go forward if she continued. pretty sure most guys feel this way.

however and i don't mean this sarcastically at all, its good for you that you found one that doesn't but i really doubt that guys like him are the majority.

i didn't say"one"- i said all- i am 40 and i'm sure it's clear i have had more than one lover in my life- i am also still friends with all of them and care about them all- just as they care about me-

if you like her so much- why ask her to change? trust me that's a recipe for disaster-why is it that men need to own you- or keep you for themselves?
why is sex work seen as cheating? what a strange hypocritical world we live in where a guy on an escort review board would feel that way?

"i love you for who you are, but you have to change"

the two things contradict each other- can't we except people for who they are?
love susieXXXO

 

[smackyo]

i didn't say"one"- i said all- i am 40 and i'm sure it's clear i have had more than one lover in my life- i am also still friends with all of them and care about them all- just as they care about me-

if you like her so much- why ask her to change? trust me that's a recipe for disaster-why is it that men need to own you- or keep you for themselves?
why is sex work seen as cheating? what a strange hypocritical world we live in where a guy on an escort review board would feel that way?

"i love you for who you are, but you have to change"

the two things contradict each other- can't we except people for who they are?
love susieXXXO

when i'm in a relationship, this hobby falls by the way side. besides i really don't think i'm trying to own anyone so please don't put those words in my mouth. i will say that when i am with someone i would like that person and the intimacy we share to be special for me without having to worry about us running into some dude on the street that she fucked for work.

it goes both ways, if i loved her then i would understand that she did do this for work and since i have been an active participant in this "hobby" there is no way i would pass judgment on her because it would be like you said, hypocritical to do so. however for the relationship to go forward that profession would have to end. its a two way street you know? if she loved me she would understand that i was uncomfortable with it and would find something else to do instead of take the easy money.

once two people are in a relationship all it ever seems to be is women asking men to change for them so i really don't think asking your serious girlfriend/wife to stop fucking other men for money is too much to ask. also you brought up a good point in saying "i love you for who you are." that is true you can love someone for who they are and not what they do for a living. who a person is inside and what they do for a living are not always but usually two very different things.

lets also keep in mind that the playing field is not 100% level. a woman can pretty much go out and get laid whenever she wants, whereas even the best looking guy has to work at it and strikes out from time to time. the only way it could really be even is if the woman is an sp and the dude is porn star, and there ya go, match made in heaven.

 

[susi]

You are extremely defensive and make a lot of your own assumptions.:

how's that? you didn't think what you said was presumptuous... but my opinion is? all righty then....
i don't think i have ever been extreme on this board about anything, if what i said upset you... sorry but i am entitled to share how i feel.

 

[kalel]

.

"i love you for who you are, but you have to change"

the two things contradict each other- can't we except people for who they are?
love susieXXXO

i suppose it would make more sense to say "i love you conditionally". i beleive all love is somewhat conditional, what those conditions are, is up to the individuals involved. ie. if you find out your partner is a bisexual rapist/axe murderer, i think that's a condition you'd like to change.

me personally, i'm pretty close minded. i like to beleive that when i'm with somebody (in a relationship) i'm the only one on her mind or body. so if she was an sp it wouldn't work. now if i'm just hooking up or going for casual companionship she can do whoever she wants, as long as she's clean when she's back with me.

 

[melissa.in.abby]

lets also keep in mind that the playing field is not 100% level. a woman can pretty much go out and get laid whenever she wants, whereas even the best looking guy has to work at it and strikes out from time to time.

Hey dude - that is not our fault - genetics... LOL

That's why I became an SP, and my husband is very pleased to be with me

 

[trackstar]

how's that? you didn't think what you said was presumptuous... but my opinion is? all righty then....
i don't think i have ever been extreme on this board about anything, if what i said upset you... sorry but i am entitled to share how i feel.

Nah, you've been nothing but informative, fun and the cause of several of my hard-ons

 

[susi]

Nah, you've been nothing but informative, fun and the cause of several of my hard-ons

thanks cutie!!
lost my voice partying after the fight!!!
got into lots of trouble!

love susieXXXO

 

[Annalise Lane]

That is the right way to do it definitely. Especially since I'm sure many sps don't use the same level of protection if any with guys in their private life. A guy definitely deserves to know a girl is an sp before he makes a choice about having sex with her. I'm sure that many guys would not feel too safe having sex with an sp.

I've been dating on and off since I started this naughtiness, mostly off because men really dont get the whole hooker job. They stand in judgement the second they hear the words. What they dont understand, there is a big difference in getting paid to have sex, and wanting to have sex. This is my new delivery line, and it's been working for the casual lovers.

Personally, I dont think I'd want someone to be okay with this occupation on a long term basis. But dating without a deep emotional connection (for now) it works half the time, where it only worked 10-20% of the time before my new delivery line.

"We are regular woman, we just happen to do this for a living." This is what I tell most of my callers, which puts alot of them at ease. I really think sometimes men who part-take in this hobby forget it. The ones who understand this as 'truth' usually end up being great visitors, and repeats.

Well that must be quite the ice breaker..lol

It has ended a nice date at the appitizers, and put others into coffee in the park at 2am. Every relationship has a defining moment - I just speed things along. Seperating the men from the boys !!

 

[smackyo]

Hey dude - that is not our fault - genetics... LOL

That's why I became an SP, and my husband is very pleased to be with me

never said it was anyone's fault, and don't worry i know you mean your post in jest. i'm just saying that this seems to be a classic example of people having their cake and eating it to.

some of these ladies want their men to be committed and not cheat on them yet they can fuck whoever and its alright because its "work", and lets not even mention that many of these guys they see have wives that would not be alright with their actions. relationships are give and take and you obviously have a very healthy one with your husband and thats great, the both of you have an understanding.

what i'm trying to say is that i'm not trying to change anyone, but in any relationship both parties do eventually make certain changes in their lifestyles. if i was with a girl and this is what she did for a living then before it got serious she would have to realize that i'm not alright with it once we are committed and she would do something else if she loved me. once you are in a relationship its no longer about "i" its about "us" and continuing to do something if the other is very uncomfortable with it is somewhat self serving and inconsiderate.

to hear susi talk about it you'd think that selling her body is all she could do for a living when there is a lot more out there that wouldn't upset a potential life mate. now lets say years pass and we want to spice things up a bit by swinging or fucking someone else. thats totally fine, its a choice that you have both come to together and you trust one another to do the right thing.

 

[moi]

Only a select few of my personal friends know what I do because after Chantel died, they knew she was an SP and kind of figured it out with my night time comings and goings.

Anyone I date does NOT know. I dated a guy for a year and when I was working at Penthouse, he wanted to drive me to work so I told him to drop me off at Sobey's cos i was getting food for everyone lol. We broke up (no sex) and he still doesnt know to this day.

I usually have another part time job as a cover, right now, waitressing, so I don't have to explain the late hours. Sometimes they ask where I get my money from, I say I get tipped well or it's from my parents.

I don't have a second apartment nor a second cell phone yet so I don't have to explain that. The condoms and lube I hide.

I only ever had one lover who knew. He was from my game and is a stereotypical gamer who is really sheltered. Even though I told him I was an SP and worked at an MP he didn't know we had sex because once he asked me. "Do any of the girls ever have sex there if they like the client?" I gave him the weirdest look and hugged him for being so naive lol.

 

[BJhunter]

as long as she sucks good cock, that's all that matters!

 

[melissa.in.abby]

Honesty is overrated.

I have been wondering that myself, sometimes the fear of what our SO might think keeps us in check. I noticed this in my bff's relationship which is secretive but there is nothing bad going on? harmless flirts... yadayada