Post your silly limmericks here

[williewheeler]

I'll start this off with an oldie:

There once was a man from Boston,
who drove around town in his Austin.

There was room for his ass, and a gallon of gas,
but his balls hung out and he lost 'em!

Here's one from some years ago made up by myself and some fellow employees about our boss (and his renoknowned stinginess). My apologies ahead of time to anyone who happens to have the same name....

There once was a man whose name was Gord Baker.
He oft wiped his ass with a piece of brown paper.

Now the paper was thin, and oh, his finger slipped in,
and then what a mess Mr. Baker was in!!!!

ok, your turn....

 

[hitrack]

There once was a man from Nantucket who had a dick so long he could suck it, he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!!


Not really a Limmerick, but more like something you would find in a fortune cookie: He who goes to bed with itchy asshole, wakes up with smelly finger.

 

[Hit Man]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two and a half
You think they went up there for water?

 

[Hit Man]

Vanman, nice rack.

 

[Hit Man]

There once was an SP named Alex
Who traded her business for free sex
The line got so long, each holding his dong
She had to go back to the fee sex.

 

[Oldfart]

A lady once had an arrair,
With a fellow all covered with hair.
When he put on his hat,
She realised that,
She'd been laid by Smoky the bear.

 

[naughtygirl]

There once was a Dr Strangelove
Whose head is somewhat up above
He likes to mindfuck
and play the duck,
He's even been known to give naughtygirls a shove

 

[naughtygirl]

Ava offered up a treaty,
and guaranteed my saftey,
But then she laughs and sends kisses to the doc,
makes me think this whole treaty is a mock.
I still got my eye on you Ava sweetie

 

[Silver Surfer]

I can't compare to Meg but:

There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made out of brass
When they'd rattle together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning would shoot out of his ass.

 

[naughtygirl]

Ok Now Meg's on the attack,
to keep all the violators back.
Remember to be nice Doc,
Who's the one who sucks your cock?
It's not always wise to run with the pack

 

[naughtygirl]

Why don't you bring you birthday tush to me,
So you can be the one to see,
What it's really like to beg,
trust me it will be worse than losing a leg.
But that's what you get for being so pushy

 

[naughtygirl]

He says oh yes please
I like pussy.
Let me lick the juices,
to the beat of the music,
Oh don't stop till you hear the screams of pure sexuality

 

[Jimbo]

My back aches, my penis is sore
I simply can't fuck any more
I'm covered with sweat
You haven't come yet
Migawd! it's a quarter to four.

While mother is soundly asleep
His sister invites him to creep
To her bed where they screw
From eleven 'til two
It's domestic, familiar, and cheap!

 

[rickoshadows]

There was a young woman from Thrace
Whose corset would no longer lace
Said her mother "dear Nellie
There's more in your belly
Than ever went in through your face.

rickoshadows

 

[iberidin]

When the weather is hot and sticky
It's not time for dunkin' dickie
When the pumpkins on the vine,
Then it's dickie dunkin time!!

 

[williewheeler]

Thanks to all for your posts, I thoroughly enjoyed them. I'm glad I started this thread.

There once was a gimp named Willie
who thought to post a limmerick silly.
The responses thoroughly read,
with little regard to time instead,
but now he is off to his (empty) bed.

'nite all!