Post Relationship Advise / Feedback

[scubasamm]

Hey all - hope you can give me your straight up opinion. So last december, I walked into a retail store and received help from a cute young lady. She was the same ethnicity and we chatted a bit. She was younger than me by about 18 years (I am in my early 50s), so I was hesitant in moving too fast. In any event, I left for a vacation in late december and when I came back, I visited her and asked her out - for which she agreed. I took her to a fancy restaurant and we agreed to meet again. Soon after we were dating and I told her specifically that because of my age and career demands, I was not interested in anything serious and that would never change. She agreed that personal time was important but then wanted to meet every day and by february she wanted to go for a 3 day getaway to the island. Each time we go out, she wanted to be wined and dined, costing 200+ each time AND she would get blizzed on alcohol. So much so, that one time the server refused to serve her anymore drinks. During this time, she never paid for anything or offered to and I helped her career by paying for and helping with several certifications she was dreaming of since arriving in Canada. Towards the end, she said "that I wasn't feeling it" and that I caused her emotional grief. Its over now, but I cant help but feel resentment towards her and the belief that I was simply a sugar daddy. For fucks sakes, if I wanted to be a daddy, I would get a hot 20 year old and have real fun. What are your thoughts?

 

[Miss Hunter]

 

[Theguyfromvictoria]

Sounds like her ‘not feeling it’ was the best thing that could have happened to you.
Does it suck ? Are your feeling hurt?
Damn right it does and the are.
But from an outsiders perspective it’s good she’s gone. Hopefully you had some fun while it lasted though!

Now go find someone who deserves and appreciates your love and affection

I wish you luck !

 

[scubasamm]

Sounds like her ‘not feeling it’ was the best thing that could have happened to you.
Does it suck ? Are your feeling hurt?
Damn right it does and the are.
But from an outsiders perspective it’s good she’s gone. Hopefully you had some fun while it lasted though!

Now go find someone who deserves and appreciates your love and affection

I wish you luck !

Thanks Friend!

 

[Miss Hunter]

But you say you initially told her you wanted to keep it casual and that would never change.

so what did you expect to happen, really? It seems to me both of you treated it like a transactional relationship.

 

[Riza]

Soon after we were dating and I told her specifically that because of my age and career demands, I was not interested in anything serious and that would never change.

That's that women call a "dead end relationship" Most women at some point of their life is looking for the long term relationship. Short term might fit the need for awhile but at some time you realize you are just wasting your time and youth and its time to move on. Been in that situation myself and just kept hoping it would change into something more over time. Hope is a funny thing and will make you wait it out longer than you should. At some point reality kicks in and its time to move on. Probably best for both parties.

 

[maniacalone]

Hey all - hope you can give me your straight up opinion. So last december, I walked into a retail store and received help from a cute young lady. She was the same ethnicity and we chatted a bit. She was younger than me by about 18 years (I am in my early 50s), so I was hesitant in moving too fast. In any event, I left for a vacation in late december and when I came back, I visited her and asked her out - for which she agreed. I took her to a fancy restaurant and we agreed to meet again. Soon after we were dating and I told her specifically that because of my age and career demands, I was not interested in anything serious and that would never change. She agreed that personal time was important but then wanted to meet every day and by february she wanted to go for a 3 day getaway to the island. Each time we go out, she wanted to be wined and dined, costing 200+ each time AND she would get blizzed on alcohol. So much so, that one time the server refused to serve her anymore drinks. During this time, she never paid for anything or offered to and I helped her career by paying for and helping with several certifications she was dreaming of since arriving in Canada. Towards the end, she said "that I wasn't feeling it" and that I caused her emotional grief. Its over now, but I cant help but feel resentment towards her and the belief that I was simply a sugar daddy. For fucks sakes, if I wanted to be a daddy, I would get a hot 20 year old and have real fun. What are your thoughts?

As long as you got laid after every date, based on the costs, no harm, no foul.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

You started off by taking her to a fancy restaurant. Buddy, THAT set the tone. You being 50's she being mid 30's, she may have had her bio clock ticking away at a pretty heavy beat and that got missed. But if she was just using you to pay for her nice meals and to feed her alcohol passion, that's a whole different thing.

From where I stand you have been used. And you sound like a nice chap. So good that she is gone. Find a gal who appreciates who you are and what you bring to the table. Oh, and of course make every intention known to her that you want this to be sexual even if it is to be 'casual'. Best of luck to you and enjoy the new search!!

 

[Miss Hunter]

If all you want is casual sex, best to just stick with pay as you go.

 

[Miss Hunter]

There's nothing wrong with casual sex, god knows I've had a lot in my past. But when things are kept casual with no emotional commitment, an expiry date is inevitable.

 

[kc124]

Hey all - hope you can give me your straight up opinion. So last december, I walked into a retail store and received help from a cute young lady. She was the same ethnicity and we chatted a bit. She was younger than me by about 18 years (I am in my early 50s), so I was hesitant in moving too fast. In any event, I left for a vacation in late december and when I came back, I visited her and asked her out - for which she agreed. I took her to a fancy restaurant and we agreed to meet again. Soon after we were dating and I told her specifically that because of my age and career demands, I was not interested in anything serious and that would never change. She agreed that personal time was important but then wanted to meet every day and by february she wanted to go for a 3 day getaway to the island. Each time we go out, she wanted to be wined and dined, costing 200+ each time AND she would get blizzed on alcohol. So much so, that one time the server refused to serve her anymore drinks. During this time, she never paid for anything or offered to and I helped her career by paying for and helping with several certifications she was dreaming of since arriving in Canada. Towards the end, she said "that I wasn't feeling it" and that I caused her emotional grief. Its over now, but I cant help but feel resentment towards her and the belief that I was simply a sugar daddy. For fucks sakes, if I wanted to be a daddy, I would get a hot 20 year old and have real fun. What are your thoughts?

Why are you resenting her? If you get laid after every date, its a lot cheaper than looking for escort. $200 for a meal, but you are getting multiple hours, and 2 person meal, so is like $100 per dinner and play session!

 

[Real Sonny Burnett]

Take the loss and move on.

 

[nwtl]

It's all about your perspective. Yes, perhaps she was never interested in you as a person but more interested in your spending power. I can see that could create resentment towards her if you felt she just used you, but then again, perhaps if you wanted to keep it very casual, you did have fun during these dates and got your money's worth? Only you can decide that. Ideally of course, I would've wanted even a casual relationship to be about two people liking each other, not about the wallet, but I'm sure if this bothered you too much, you could see hints of it in her behaviour even before it all ended, so perhaps it wasn't all that bad, it ran its course and now you're happy it's over, great.

 

[PierreCoeur]

I am sorry but when I read your post, I can't get past your feelings of resentment.

You initiated this "arrangement" and set the initial rules. Treated her to fancy restaurants and likely bought her expensive gifts. You set-up a sugar baby relation and now you are complaining and claiming you were used ?

Sorry Chap but you aren't going to get sympathy from me. You were 18 years more wiser than her and if her getting drunk at restaurants didn't bother you enough the first few times it happened, why did you continue enabling her and help her if you didn't buy into the Sugar Daddy role you set-up.

Now you are whining that you could have had a hot 20 year old, if you wanted to be a sugar daddy? You were a Sugar Daddy by virtue of your setting it up that way. Being resentful and looking for sympathy on an escort review board is kind of pathetic.

 

[theimp]

That's that women call a "dead end relationship" Most women at some point of their life is looking for the long term relationship. Short term might fit the need for awhile but at some time you realize you are just wasting your time and youth and its time to move on. Been in that situation myself and just kept hoping it would change into something more over time. Hope is a funny thing and will make you wait it out longer than you should. At some point reality kicks in and its time to move on. Probably best for both parties.

This happens to me, quite frequently. I am always completely, open and honest, about my intentions, wants, desires and needs yet, at some point, the lady will expect more. I always remind them of my limitations and expectations, but it makes no difference. People want what they want and nothing can change that. Makes me feel guilty, sometimes, even though I am being honest and even, chivalrous.

 

[angry anderson]

Hey all - hope you can give me your straight up opinion. So last december, I walked into a retail store and received help from a cute young lady. She was the same ethnicity and we chatted a bit. She was younger than me by about 18 years (I am in my early 50s), so I was hesitant in moving too fast. In any event, I left for a vacation in late december and when I came back, I visited her and asked her out - for which she agreed. I took her to a fancy restaurant and we agreed to meet again. Soon after we were dating and I told her specifically that because of my age and career demands, I was not interested in anything serious and that would never change. She agreed that personal time was important but then wanted to meet every day and by february she wanted to go for a 3 day getaway to the island. Each time we go out, she wanted to be wined and dined, costing 200+ each time AND she would get blizzed on alcohol. So much so, that one time the server refused to serve her anymore drinks. During this time, she never paid for anything or offered to and I helped her career by paying for and helping with several certifications she was dreaming of since arriving in Canada. Towards the end, she said "that I wasn't feeling it" and that I caused her emotional grief. Its over now, but I cant help but feel resentment towards her and the belief that I was simply a sugar daddy. For fucks sakes, if I wanted to be a daddy, I would get a hot 20 year old and have real fun. What are your thoughts?

Irish?

 

[scubasamm]

Irish?

Close...Persian!!??

 

[angry anderson]

Close...Persian!!??

LOL. Didn't know Persian girls had so many Irish traits...

 

[scubasamm]

LOL. Didn't know Persian girls had so many Irish traits...

??

 

[scubasamm]

thanks everyone for all the feedback - really appreciate it!!