You are so right, if my hubby would ask that question from me, I would be divorce from him the next day....
Possible midlife crisis? What do ido?
- Thread starter Team110
- Start date
My advise to you.... if you love your wife .... and she loves you..... don't even think about it ....obviously there is something missing in your life..... but I have doubts that pooning is your answer.....
Too many things can go wrong in your relationship.... you said she loves you..? Well if somebody knows you well it will be her.... seeing an SP.... when you come back home.... she will read you like a book. .... and trust me.... women are very smart...
As for depression. ... had some issues in the past which were insanely depressing ..... when I met with my doctor
He told me..... try to resolve any and every issue 1 at the time.... and if you can't manage it..... I will prescribe you anti depressive medication ......
That was almost 10 years ago.... and now I have never needed any medication ..... my issues were resolved and feel free....
The hard part...... look inside your heart and soul....and don't lie to yourself... and unearth what are the real.issues are. ...
You may be surprised to find out truly what is the cause of it all......
An SP may not be what you need ......
Just my 2 cents....
Too many things can go wrong in your relationship.... you said she loves you..? Well if somebody knows you well it will be her.... seeing an SP.... when you come back home.... she will read you like a book. .... and trust me.... women are very smart...
As for depression. ... had some issues in the past which were insanely depressing ..... when I met with my doctor
He told me..... try to resolve any and every issue 1 at the time.... and if you can't manage it..... I will prescribe you anti depressive medication ......
That was almost 10 years ago.... and now I have never needed any medication ..... my issues were resolved and feel free....
The hard part...... look inside your heart and soul....and don't lie to yourself... and unearth what are the real.issues are. ...
You may be surprised to find out truly what is the cause of it all......
An SP may not be what you need ......
Just my 2 cents....
I went thru a mid life crisis 2 years ago when i turned 50,my wife went thru menapause and was no longer into sex,none at all.I loved my wife and 3 kids and my life but was missing a huge part of life,sex.You dont realize how important it is tell its gone and i made the choice to start pooning.There was a lot of guilt and there still is but what happened is our marriage got better,i was no longer pressuring her for sex and she is more relaxed and i am happier.I know everyones experience is different but this is my 2 cents worth,good luck with your choice.
But at 50 your kids would be nearly grown and out the door? Were as at 40 they're still young and dependant on both parents. Happens so many times during break ups when kids are used as pawns.
Peter Drucker once said that mid-life crisis was probably more about boredom than crisis.
Work hard to get somewhere and when you have achieved it, most people ask themselves. Is this it?
Easy to loose that spark that makes everything fun and exciting in terms of experiencing this great big world out there.
Suspect it is better to always be looking forward vs backwards, i.e. future focused opposed to historical focused
Well Team 110, I'm gonna tell you what I would do....cause that's how I think!
Go out and do it, stop thinking about the "what if's" and get it out of your system
My life would be pretty boring and wouldnt be in this biz if, I always thought of the "what if's "
You are way to young to be calling it a midlife crises, you just need a good Fuck!
Best of luck!
Go out and do it, stop thinking about the "what if's" and get it out of your system
My life would be pretty boring and wouldnt be in this biz if, I always thought of the "what if's "
You are way to young to be calling it a midlife crises, you just need a good Fuck!
Best of luck!
Haha! Gerri you're awesome! So glad I met you!
Do I need to make an appointment with Dr. Gerri?
Considering the average male lives to 82 I'd say he's bang on for a mid life crisis. Seriously, I wouldn't take any advice from us here on the board. You'd probably find much more valuable advice from a marriage councillor. Maybe have a heart to heart with your wife? Probably wouldn't mention the whole wanting to have sex with escorts thing. But at the end of the day, you're a grown man, a little confused but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Best of luck to you, I wish I had what you have in all honesty.
I agree. I've been doing a lot of reflecting and reading a lot of stories of broken marriages due to the husbands so called mid life crisis. In so many cases the husbands have thrown away everything that is good in their life and regret having done what they've done only to ask forgiveness and to repair the damage. It really is just an matter of making the right choice.
Haven't read this thread as a whole but.....I'm in the same thought wave as sybian on this, and couldn't agree more :thumb:
To the O.P......Ask yourself this question as you look into a mirror. --- " How much does your family mean to you and, could you handle it, if and when it all collapses and the potential of losing it all? And....how will you feel when you see your wife and family soon after leaving the lady you've just done the deed with?
One who has a miserable relationship, won't give a fuck and won't be bothered by it. But in your case........????
I'm not in your situation so it's easy for me but...... Just things to consider.
If you really care about your spouse, and you no issues in your relationship, I'd suggest you really think long and ard about it. Don't do something to ruin that, because chances are you won't be able you won't be able to fix things.
I'm in a more complicated situation with my spouse. I'm no longer in love with her, but I still care about her as a person and wouldn't want to hurt her. We just don't understand each other and have very little in common with one another. I have kids too, so yeah, it complicates the matter even more.
Like many have said, talk to a professional about your situation and really get a clear understanding of things before you decide what to do next.
I'm in a more complicated situation with my spouse. I'm no longer in love with her, but I still care about her as a person and wouldn't want to hurt her. We just don't understand each other and have very little in common with one another. I have kids too, so yeah, it complicates the matter even more.
Like many have said, talk to a professional about your situation and really get a clear understanding of things before you decide what to do next.
Almost everyone has chimed in about talking to a professional about your current situation.
I couldn't agree more, but perhaps you should step back, and have a talk with yourself first.
Then....When the timing and the mood is right for BOTH of you..Have a serious chat with your partner.
She has given you her emotional trust, and a son...In my opinion, you may owe her ,at the very least, a chance to discuss where both of you stand inside of your marriage.
Although I'm not in your situation, and we here don't know the whole story...I do wish you well.
I couldn't agree more, but perhaps you should step back, and have a talk with yourself first.
Then....When the timing and the mood is right for BOTH of you..Have a serious chat with your partner.
She has given you her emotional trust, and a son...In my opinion, you may owe her ,at the very least, a chance to discuss where both of you stand inside of your marriage.
Although I'm not in your situation, and we here don't know the whole story...I do wish you well.
Well said....... Mid life crisis.... is what society wants to call it ....I agree... when you get married ..and then have kids ...house and everything that goes with it ...... of course during that time and until the kids can fly on their own..... you can't afford that hot sports car ....or motorcycle...... getting either or....is simply having sacraficed 20 or 30 years to be able to finally enjoy it.... as badger said.... search within yourself.... don't deny any feelings and you will find your answer .... no need to get someone else to find a reason or excuse and plant it in your head. ..
Find your own reasons......
Not sure if you want any advice from an over 70 guy but I will make it short.
Don't do this. Don't tell your wife you want other women. Don't upset her trust or love for you. Instead find a way to renew the flame. If you lose her and you family the pain goes on for a long time. Unless you prefer to lose her? There is not a lot of quality women out there but there are lot who will tell you what you want to hear and take your money. And smile as they glide away from you.
You think you might try this without your wife knowing? Will you don't sound like you know much about disease, others seeing you, explaining where all the money went etc. Give wife a disease, or one of her friends catches you and you will destroy all you have built up.
Make a difference in your choice. You are getting a lot of good advice that way. Do it. Forget your issue and concentrate on what you have
Don't do this. Don't tell your wife you want other women. Don't upset her trust or love for you. Instead find a way to renew the flame. If you lose her and you family the pain goes on for a long time. Unless you prefer to lose her? There is not a lot of quality women out there but there are lot who will tell you what you want to hear and take your money. And smile as they glide away from you.
You think you might try this without your wife knowing? Will you don't sound like you know much about disease, others seeing you, explaining where all the money went etc. Give wife a disease, or one of her friends catches you and you will destroy all you have built up.
Make a difference in your choice. You are getting a lot of good advice that way. Do it. Forget your issue and concentrate on what you have
This guy wrote back to saying he had met a woman (SP?) She convinced him not to do this but instead he felt sorry for her being a single mother so gave money and is taking her shopping. This gal saw a vulnerable guy and is capitalizing on it. Some body wake him up
What can ya do. Some people just have to learn the hard way. Maybe he took her to Dollarama
Well it's all true over a large part of your married life where one partners aren't really partners but one or both having issues with control or life etc. There are very successful marriages with both partners being partners. Somewhere later in life older people seem to come to depend on one another so much that all this sex and competition crap gets replaced with the issue of staying alive and comfortable some how. So if it's clear at a younger age the relationship isn't for you then clear out. But if is and you mess around anyways you are likely to be the loser. Whatever. This is one of those place where no one ever figures it out as everyone is so different
Despite all the precautions your wife will probably know the second you walk in the door. Woman have built in radar about these things.Considering the price you could pay I would say don't even consider it and a lot of guys on the board would seem to concur. Use the money you would spend to do something with your family and don't become one of us fools.
I feel in a similar boat to the OP. I decided to go thru with seeing some SPs. I don't completely regret it, as I feel I chose MOSTLY wisely (saving $$ for a better experience more often than not, avoiding BP/CL altogether, seeing someone when I traveled, etc). But I do sometimes think: Damn, if I hadn't seen those ladies, I could have a new SUP board or new bike!
Why did I make the choice I made when the potential repercussions were so severe and life is, actually, quite good right now? I don't completely know myself, but part of it I think was the thrill in keeping it secretive, avoiding detection. We all take some risky decisions, whether going down a steep hill on bike/skis, taking a slightly larger wave, etc. The potential for life-altering injury exists all around. So I felt this was an extension of that - I'm never going to be the guy going in the backwoods or BASE jump, but seeing an SP provides its own thrill and sharpens the mind.
Other posters have provided pretty sound advice, I think - if I were to do it over, I would probably skip some of the SPs I saw and buy that toy I've wanted
And I would talk through more about how I was feeling on the midlife crisis front with my wife. I think the better idea is to talk through that feeling that something is missing, and see where that conversation goes.
Why did I make the choice I made when the potential repercussions were so severe and life is, actually, quite good right now? I don't completely know myself, but part of it I think was the thrill in keeping it secretive, avoiding detection. We all take some risky decisions, whether going down a steep hill on bike/skis, taking a slightly larger wave, etc. The potential for life-altering injury exists all around. So I felt this was an extension of that - I'm never going to be the guy going in the backwoods or BASE jump, but seeing an SP provides its own thrill and sharpens the mind.
Other posters have provided pretty sound advice, I think - if I were to do it over, I would probably skip some of the SPs I saw and buy that toy I've wanted
And I would talk through more about how I was feeling on the midlife crisis front with my wife. I think the better idea is to talk through that feeling that something is missing, and see where that conversation goes.