Porn Pet Peeves
- Thread starter dexi
- Start date
Oh ... well ... that's okay then. I don't know what was more amazing, the loads he shot, or that helmet of a hairstyle he had.hifisex said:
I don't like it when I see more cocks then pussies!
2 girls and a guy is kewl....2 guyz and 1 girl ain't...
2 girls and a guy is kewl....2 guyz and 1 girl ain't...
When the girl doesn't take her panties off but just pulls them to the side and the guy starts plowing her. Take 5 fucking seconds and remove your underwear.
add to my list:
anything "faked" ie. cumshot turns into Jergen's lotion.
the horrible "o face" by the guy. Can't believe I forgot this. Can't simpleminded porn peddlers find a better way to bridge the editing gap between him banging away at her to pullin' the goalie for ten minutes to produce the yogurt shot? Seriously, looks like the dude is passing a stone.
DP's - yes, seriously. Once the novelty of this freakshow act wears off, it's a pretty lame display. Since there's 3 people instead of 2, there's no rhythm to the fucking; one guy is jackhammering away while the other is just trying not to pop out. It's a seriously boring thing to watch.
And speaking of that, why is that porn fucking has very little to do with rhythm and all about the guy banging away at a hundred miles an hour? Didn't anyone teach these guys that the secret to fucking isn't just how fast you can do it?
anything "faked" ie. cumshot turns into Jergen's lotion.
the horrible "o face" by the guy. Can't believe I forgot this. Can't simpleminded porn peddlers find a better way to bridge the editing gap between him banging away at her to pullin' the goalie for ten minutes to produce the yogurt shot? Seriously, looks like the dude is passing a stone.
DP's - yes, seriously. Once the novelty of this freakshow act wears off, it's a pretty lame display. Since there's 3 people instead of 2, there's no rhythm to the fucking; one guy is jackhammering away while the other is just trying not to pop out. It's a seriously boring thing to watch.
And speaking of that, why is that porn fucking has very little to do with rhythm and all about the guy banging away at a hundred miles an hour? Didn't anyone teach these guys that the secret to fucking isn't just how fast you can do it?
I'm with you on that. Especially when the other ones semi soft dick does pop out. That 20 seconds when all movement stops so he can stuff it back in is really hot....or not.dexi said:
What I hate about porn is that in so many ways it's unrealistic. They show a guy plowing a chic and then they'll loop the clip so it looks like he's drillin her for an hour.
I like scenes that are more natural. Not like when a guy walks in to see a girl that he apprantly doesn't know then they cut to the part where they're suddenlly both naked goin at it. I'd really like to see some kind of realisim in a porn flick. (to some degree anyways)
I like scenes that are more natural. Not like when a guy walks in to see a girl that he apprantly doesn't know then they cut to the part where they're suddenlly both naked goin at it. I'd really like to see some kind of realisim in a porn flick. (to some degree anyways)
I like the scenes when the guy pulls out and cums on the girl's face (or whatever), and he looks like he has just run out of cum, then a scene is spliced in where you see this whole bucket load of what looks like cum splash onto the girl.
I can just imagine the porn guys doing it:
1. OK "CUT"... good one Steve, you came lots.
2. Thanks boss!
3. Ok go sit down and get fluffed... hey Harry got the Cream of Wheat ready?
4. Yah I just got it outta the microwave, here it is in the plastic bowl
5. Ok boy put both hands on it and get ready to toss it onto her face, make sure you don't cross this line or the camera will see the bowl
6. Sure I know, boss, I didn't finish college for nuthin!
7. Atta boy... ok camera, 3, 2, 1, roll'em
8. Swoooosh splat!!! OooOooOoooooh babeee I looooOoove yer cum so taaaassteee glub glub glub
9. OK "CUT". Good one Destiny! You're gonna be a Hollywood Star one day just like that blonde bitch whats-her-name Trampy or something, I promise!
10. Thanks boss, tee hee!
I can just imagine the porn guys doing it:
1. OK "CUT"... good one Steve, you came lots.
2. Thanks boss!
3. Ok go sit down and get fluffed... hey Harry got the Cream of Wheat ready?
4. Yah I just got it outta the microwave, here it is in the plastic bowl
5. Ok boy put both hands on it and get ready to toss it onto her face, make sure you don't cross this line or the camera will see the bowl
6. Sure I know, boss, I didn't finish college for nuthin!
7. Atta boy... ok camera, 3, 2, 1, roll'em
8. Swoooosh splat!!! OooOooOoooooh babeee I looooOoove yer cum so taaaassteee glub glub glub
9. OK "CUT". Good one Destiny! You're gonna be a Hollywood Star one day just like that blonde bitch whats-her-name Trampy or something, I promise!
10. Thanks boss, tee hee!
Good one.dexi said:
And that can also be applicable to the girls performing BJs, especially the ones going at it like a woodpecker poking a hole in a tree trunk. Many of us hate receiving BJs like that in real life, so why would anyone think that's a turn-on to watch?
Amen to that! What hapened to the regular stuff? not that I am not adventurous, SP's are SP's, not porn stars. It gets overwhelming when all you have are e-mails that are"can I spit on you?" "Can I slap your face?". If I want to be humiliated, I can think of way better. This I do well enough on my own, I don't need help. 
1. Bj's where all the action is with her hand on the shaft and she basically holds her mouth around the head, or worse - near the head.
2. Bruises and (yuck) big pimples or sores on the women.
3. Huge, fake tits that never move no matter how much action is taking place.
4. Spitting - a reallly bad trend.
5. A different movie spliced into the one you're watching. I've seen this a few times where it might be the same actors, but all the sound, lighting and even hair styles change or I recognize the scene from another movie.
6. Women who seem to not be enjoying what they are doing, or even look in pain or frightened.
7. Violent wrenching or twisting nipples. I've yet to meet a woman who enjoys this.
8. Catching the sound guy or camerman in a mirror or corner of a shot.
9. Porn where the camera guy keeps filming his own dick.
2. Bruises and (yuck) big pimples or sores on the women.
3. Huge, fake tits that never move no matter how much action is taking place.
4. Spitting - a reallly bad trend.
5. A different movie spliced into the one you're watching. I've seen this a few times where it might be the same actors, but all the sound, lighting and even hair styles change or I recognize the scene from another movie.
6. Women who seem to not be enjoying what they are doing, or even look in pain or frightened.
7. Violent wrenching or twisting nipples. I've yet to meet a woman who enjoys this.
8. Catching the sound guy or camerman in a mirror or corner of a shot.
9. Porn where the camera guy keeps filming his own dick.
My pet peeves are seeing a girl take 2 dicks in her mouth...this means one is touching the other...not on (well, in gay porn I guess)....the other pet peeve is when there is no expression on the chick's face. #1 pet peeve is non nasty porn...why make soft porn?....I can imagine that shit myself...I want to see a 19 yo girl gang banged and given 20 loads on her face and in her mouth with a smile!
A good site is cumonherface.com
A good site is cumonherface.com
My peeves:
15-minute blowjobs. Y'know, it's just not that interesting to watch a chick bob her head up and down constantly, occasionally licking things, maybe juggling the boys, but then going back to bobbing up and down, up and down... I mean, you can only do about three camera angles out of that deal, and it ain't that exciting to watch for that long.
Come to think, anything that spends a large amount of time playing with a single body part just doesn't cut it. I've got this one DVD that I assume is supposed to be "big-boob" oriented, where there's one scene that features the dude playing with her breasts for a good ten minutes. And she's going "Ooh, that's nice. Play with my tits." and Never SHUTS UP.
Stupid dialogue. One of my pieces has the lovely line: "Oh, yeah, suck the demons out of me!" Uh... *mute*
15-minute blowjobs. Y'know, it's just not that interesting to watch a chick bob her head up and down constantly, occasionally licking things, maybe juggling the boys, but then going back to bobbing up and down, up and down... I mean, you can only do about three camera angles out of that deal, and it ain't that exciting to watch for that long.
Come to think, anything that spends a large amount of time playing with a single body part just doesn't cut it. I've got this one DVD that I assume is supposed to be "big-boob" oriented, where there's one scene that features the dude playing with her breasts for a good ten minutes. And she's going "Ooh, that's nice. Play with my tits." and Never SHUTS UP.
Stupid dialogue. One of my pieces has the lovely line: "Oh, yeah, suck the demons out of me!" Uh... *mute*
I hate it when the guy tries to give a facial, but completely misses firing into the horizon.
Also when he does splash the girl, the girl violently jerks away or winces when the jet hits her. C'mon, you're a professional. Take a facial professionally with lips slightly ajar and face angled slightly with the head immobile. Then give him a loving post-cum blowjob cleanup while looking at the camera or at him. I hate it when the camera shows her bolting afterwards to get a kleenex.
Also when he does splash the girl, the girl violently jerks away or winces when the jet hits her. C'mon, you're a professional. Take a facial professionally with lips slightly ajar and face angled slightly with the head immobile. Then give him a loving post-cum blowjob cleanup while looking at the camera or at him. I hate it when the camera shows her bolting afterwards to get a kleenex.
my sentiments exactly. i hate all that shit. your in porn for fuck sakes, you gotta expect to have some cum in your mouth or even swallow some.PoorGuy said:
i hate the chicks like the really hot ones from like vivid and shit like that, that consider themselves too good to take one on the kisser in the mouth. booooooooooooooooooooooooo to all of them.
You'd be a fan of the hilariously titled "No Cum Dodging Allowed" series, which specifically answers your concerns.PoorGuy said:
I also hate sputtery, non-existent cumshots. If the meatwhistle can't produce a load, its owner should see a dietician. Obviously not everyone can be Peter North, but the Tony Tedeschi's of the porn world should be on the bench.
