Porn Pet Peeves

[dexi]

I think most porn viewers are getting pretty tired of fake tits and massive amounts of ink & piercings (or maybe not, after all somebody must like these things), but here's a few less obvious ones for me:

• Close-ups of guys asses while they're plowin' away. Ack.
• Guys eating pussy. I really hate seeing this. And most porn directors don't know how to block/shoot it; you end up with the dude with his head off to one side and his face all screwed up. Nasty. Does anyone really need to see any more footage of Hershel Savage with his tongue stuck out? A chick eating pussy? Totally different story.
• Spitting. When did this become erotic? A chick giving a nice wet BJ is one thing, but what's with the guy spitting or drooling big long ropes of saliva into the chick's mouth? I've even noticed this lately in so-called "couples" porn. Blech. This belongs in fetish stuff IMO.

 

[shawn]

My biggest pet peeve is right before the "money shot" we get a close up of the the guys face. Not the most attractive thing to see while on manual transmision.

 

[wolverine]

She's completely naked except for shoes/runners/socks.
Bad lighting...too little or too much.
Touch-ups that remove freckles.
No variety in facial expressions (see: Raven Riley).
If it's a vid clip of a solo girl, I don't want to hear the photographer's voice nor any cheesy music.

 

[Lefty]

porn no-no's

I hate the spitting too. On both sides.
I also don't like things that are obviously only in the shoot to degrade the woman. That's not erotic. Face slapping etc.
Some of the "f%^k her face until she barfs" stuff is gross.

 

[yogi]

Any kind of spitting, especially extending a long horizontal spit stream between mouth & cock. Who & when was it decided that this is erotic?! Ick.
Slapping the dick repeatedly on her body.
Any sound other than original. Don't wanna hear crappy music or dubbed sounds! If I wanna hear music I'll turn on the radio.
Misleading labels. Saying something is "all Asian" when it's more like 20%. Will never rent or buy Geisha Dreams dvds because of this.
Excessive makeup, tatoos, piercings.
Women who are obviously in their 30's done up to look like Japanese schoolgirls, pigtails, uniform, & all.
Fake tits.

 

[OrientalJenni]

A few years ago a friend and I purchased a porn movie at the local video store. The cover looked awesome, but when we put it in the VCR that was a whole other story! There was no sound at all, the background music was some California radio station with two guys talking about politics! I watch a porn to hear and see what is going on, not to listen to politics while some chick is masturbating.

When a porn does not live up to it's cover, that is my biggest pet Peeve.

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

She's completely naked except for shoes/runners/socks.
Bad lighting...too little or too much.
Touch-ups that remove freckles.
No variety in facial expressions (see: Raven Riley).
If it's a vid clip of a solo girl, I don't want to hear the photographer's voice nor any cheesy music.

Sorry if I am hi-jacking this thread but Wolvy that sig you got there
is absolutely friggin hilarious.LMFAO !!!!

No better way to describe the pure frustration of a piece of shit
pooter problem !!! Beauty !!

Okay, back to the thread now.

.............QM'r

 

[Dakota Wood]

Anal to oral. Bad is when she is getting anal, turns around and does oral on him. Worse is a threesome scene when he pulls out of girl number one's butt and gets oral from girl number 2. Ack!

The bad dubbing is annoying. How can she be saying "oh yes, oh yes" when her mouth is closed or full of dick?

Obvious off screen direction. She looks to the right, appears to be listening to someone, sometimes even nods her head or says okay, then proceeds to start fondling her previously ignored nipples at a furious pace for no apparent reason.

 

[hitrack]

I used to complain when renting pr0n was like 2 bucks more than the regular movies.

Now with the internet I can download full movies till my dik falls off!!! Since it's free it don't matter to me.

 

[georgebushmoron]

Anal to oral. Bad is when she is getting anal, turns around and does oral on him. Worse is a threesome scene when he pulls out of girl number one's butt and gets oral from girl number 2. Ack!

Gee that's funny... I thought it was one of the best parts! Especially when girl #1 squeezes the splooge out of her butt into the waiting mouth of girl #2.

But what I miss most is the silk kerchiefs all the ladies used to wear in 70's porn, along with blue eyeshadow and stiletto heels while getting fucked. I especially liked the girls with the real torpedo tits. If an SP would dress like that for me, I'll bring along my Afro wig and tape on a droopy mustache and pretend I'm John Holmes.

 

[chiefwiggum]

When a lady with huge tits is involved, but the scene contains little, if any action or footage of them.

I also get turned off by some of the more demeaning, exploitative stuff - spitting, cock slapping, excessive hair pulling or hitting.

 

[ace85]

Gee that's funny... I thought it was one of the best parts! Especially when girl #1 squeezes the splooge out of her butt into the waiting mouth of girl #2.

But what I miss most is the silk kerchiefs all the ladies used to wear in 70's porn, along with blue eyeshadow and stiletto heels while getting fucked. I especially liked the girls with the real torpedo tits. If an SP would dress like that for me, I'll bring along my Afro wig and tape on a droopy mustache and pretend I'm John Holmes.

Now we all not you would need to do A LOT of pretending to be JOHN Holmes.

 

[logsplitter]

I hate the part during the flic that follows a full nude of the lady where she is shown later with some clothes still on. The old cut and splice game to make 10 min of fun into 30 minutes of play makes me feel ripped off.

I also agree that anything ass hole to mouth is really disgusting.

I like the movies that show real women with real tits. If they are bigger tits then that is even better. It is hard not to feel bad for some of the ladies sporting those big hard falsies.

 

[niteowl]

Spitting
ATM (tasty)
sloppy bj
guys keeping shoes on
guys keeping sunglasses on
women keeping heels on
women wearing heels
videos with 'lesbians' in the title when they're not
(ie you see them doing guy/girl scenes)
women in pigtails
women wearing those god awful platforms
women with major makeup
guy/girl lick each other like ice cream cones
music is in the foreground
girls in the 'young' videos when obviously they are not
Girls pass of as 'young' with pig/pony tails and bobby socks and runners

 

[georgebushmoron]

I love really bad porn, which have these things:

1. Girls who wear pink or neon platforms or stilleto heels during sex, complete with dumb little bobby socks.
2. Girls who wear leg warmers during sex.
3. Guys who keep on their dress shoes with socks.
4. Cut scenes of guys faces just before coming, complete with sweat and all kinds of weird facial contortions that just make you break out laughing or throw up. Looks like the guy is taking a serious dump.
5. Guys who wear fake mustaches
6. An anal scene when the guy comes out and there's brown stuff and corn stuck to his dick, oops! Then he tries to ATM and the girl simply refuses! That's funny.
7. After anal, she farts by mistake.
8. The camera man mistakenly starts focussing on the pimples on his or her butt.
9. Scenes of obviously uninterested cunnilingus by the guy. He just sticks his tongue out and moves his head up and down like its total torture.
10. Girls who say really stupid things during sex, like "You're the King, the King!!!".
11. Anal gape shots where he/she pulls the girl's ass cheeks wide open, the camera looks in for a long time. Gee, what's up there? Gee, what's up there? Gee, what's up there? Oh look she had leafy green vegetables for lunch!

 

[dirtydan]

I think most porn viewers are getting pretty tired of fake tits and massive amounts of ink & piercings (or maybe not, after all somebody must like these things), but here's a few less obvious ones for me:

• Close-ups of guys asses while they're plowin' away. Ack.

• 
  
  It's just a different angle to see his dick in her pussy.
  
  

  [*]Guys eating pussy. I really hate seeing this. And most porn directors don't know how to block/shoot it; you end up with the dude with his head off to one side and his face all screwed up. Nasty. Does anyone really need to see any more footage of Hershel Savage with his tongue stuck out? A chick eating pussy? Totally different story.

  While it isn't a money shot, I like seeing a chick get eaten out by a guy or girl.
  
  

  [*]Spitting. When did this become erotic? A chick giving a nice wet BJ is one thing, but what's with the guy spitting or drooling big long ropes of saliva into the chick's mouth? I've even noticed this lately in so-called "couples" porn. Blech. This belongs in fetish stuff IMO.

Spitting into some one's mouth, I can't see the purpose in that. On her pussy, okay. The only stuff in her mouth should be his cum after the money shot.

One thing that really grosses me out is a woman taking it in the ass and then giving the guy a BJ with no cover. ICK!

 

[pokemon]

My dislikes

-huge fake plastic tits (ie Rebecca Lord of the early 80's - give me the original Amber Lynn or Traci Adams any day)
-spitting into mouths and orifices
-Spraying cum over a woman's face - I get grossed out over bukkake (sp?)
-Golden showers

 

[wolverine]

Sorry if I am hi-jacking this thread but Wolvy that sig you got there
is absolutely friggin hilarious.LMFAO !!!!

No better way to describe the pure frustration of a piece of shit
pooter problem !!! Beauty !!

I think it's more indicative of the PERBerts who argue about politics in the Lounge!

-large difference in the performers, don't need to see some geriatric fucking an 18 yr old

Especially since that's likely the majority of the pooner/SP appointments!

 

[Osiris]

Turn Offs:

1. when the pillow covers don't match the bed sheets
2. tan lines that show the guy wears a thong
3. swearing by the guy when he cums - FU******************KKKKKKKK
4. elevator music soundtracks
5. embedded advertising, like when Peter North reaches for a Maximum pill
6. recently and badly shaved privates - all pink and sore looking
7. close-ups that let you see out her nostrils through her anus
8. ugly guys or girls, especially out of shape ones
9. when the titles aren't colour coordinated
10. THX Dolby Surround of the squishy sounds while he's pounding her

 

[funkymunky]

-ANYTHING with Peter North

HFS

What the hell problem you got with North? At least before he grew old.