Porn and good sex?

[godfather_77]

I had a conversation with a couple of girl friends of mine about porn and sex. They argued that porn has the potential to ruin sex for couples because men start to buy into the extended, multipostion, acrobatic sex thats is typical in porn movies. I can see their point but only to the extent that it might effect the younger less experienced boys/men and hopefully as we grow older we redefine what good sex means. This conversation got me thinking about escorts and their clients. I know that some SP provide PSE experience so that kind of answers my quetsion to a certain extent, but I am wondering as SP's, how do you define good sex, and has trying to live up to the porn "standard" by both you and the client adversely affected your experience of sex professionally and personally (if you choose to disclose )?

 

[sonoman]

While it's fun once in awhile, there are much more fun ways to fuck.

Do share.

 

[mimi]

The only other thing that bothers me about porn, I mean aside from the fact that it bores me, is that men try to imitate things they see, like licking their fingers and trying to put them in ones pussy....or shoving their hands up the pussy, ouch...fingernails...

Porn tends to look rough and does not stimulate the erotic centres of my brain. I found watching Howard Stern trying to coerce Carmen Electra onto that vibrating bench more stimulating than watching the video of the young girl trying to deep throat that fellow, while his hands were shoving her head down and her eyes were bulging.

Perhaps I am too emotionally connected to the sexual act to use critical thinking in an effective way and I am horribly swayed by stereotypes I have formed over my lifetime, but, I think porn is a 'man' thing.

 

[godfather_77]

The only other thing that bothers me about porn, I mean aside from the fact that it bores me, is that men try to imitate things they see, like licking their fingers and trying to put them in ones pussy....or shoving their hands up the pussy, ouch...fingernails...

Porn tends to look rough and does not stimulate the erotic centres of my brain. I found watching Howard Stern trying to coerce Carmen Electra onto that vibrating bench more stimulating than watching the video of the young girl trying to deep throat that fellow, while his hands were shoving her head down and her eyes were bulging.

Perhaps I am too emotionally connected to the sexual act to use critical thinking in an effective way and I am horribly swayed by stereotypes I have formed over my lifetime, but, I think porn is a 'man' thing.

Mimi that is what I was getting at in my quetsion about what guys and girls do because they think that is what is "expected" and/or will make a woman/man exited.

 

[mimi]

Definitely my own perspective...I enjoy soft porn, but, there has to be a plot, and the acting has to be good. Cerebral sex is important too. Being coerced, conquered, that sort of electric sex that involves a battle of wills, I find to be the best...in porn the women are so compliant, even when they are pretending to protest.

When I think about all the opinions I have heard from average women regarding porn I think the largest complaint is that this media never portrays the closeness, or is it romance? that can accompany great sex....that sex is not just about fantastic orgasms or pointy things going into holes...so for these women romance...believing you are the only hole the pointy thing is going into...is important.

I worked at a sex shop for years and quizzed every man or woman who came through the door about their opinions on the products they used and about sex in general. I could've put a table and a pot of coffee on, as folks were only too interested in sharing.

Out of all the women I questioned about having a man use his fingers in her pussy, only one said she enjoyed it. The general complaint about this was that men are too rough, their fingernails, or hangnails, would scratch and that the pussy felt sore after sex. Why didn't they tell the guy? I asked. "Oh, I dunno, I didn't want to make him feel bad" was generally the answer.

It is a pity that we do not feel able to communicate with each other and this chasm between the sexes exists.

 

[Thatotherguy]

Out of all the women I questioned about having a man use his fingers in her pussy, only one said she enjoyed it. The general complaint about this was that men are too rough, their fingernails, or hangnails, would scratch and that the pussy felt sore after sex. Why didn't they tell the guy? I asked. "Oh, I dunno, I didn't want to make him feel bad" was generally the answer.

See that's interesting, because I have an ex who could only cum if I used my fingers inside her for g-spot stimulation - it always got her incredibly wet, and sometimes even made her squirt. What's the general opinion of the women on here? Is using fingers in your pussy something you like or not?

 

[mimi]

Exactly Nina! And guiding someones hand and showing what you like is very stimulating! All the women I spoke with (and I think a lot of women come into a sex shop looking for alternatives and aids) when quizzed further, described the fellow as curling his fingers while pushing them into the vagina, so fingernails are scraping over the skin. I have had this happen too, so I stop and reshape the fingers and guide until it feels good, but, a lot of women are shy about their bodies. I sold a lot of finger booties, the kind with soft ridges. I tried one on myself and found it REALLY lovely.

The pads of fingers feel good rubbing against the G spot...I like fingers better than tongues as the pressure is firmer, but, when I was working through the agencies and doing 3-6 calls an evening I found I couldn't take the time to express these things and I had to save my pussy or I would wear out! (I am tired so I am babbling!)

BTW Nina, I didn't think anyone remembered the "Happy Hooker". I read that one in my teens....it had a very interesting influence on my life.

 

[Claptix]

I actually do think porn has the potentail for negative effects on what is viewed as intimacy. I wonder about kids who are now seeing hardcore porn on the net at a very early age and that it starts to represent what they think making love is about.

Before modern pornography, I wonder how many men went around asking women to let them cum on their face,

I used to enjoy pornography but i do not anymore. I do NOT think it should be regulated more than it is. But I do think that is may pose some societal dangers.

JC

 

[Thatotherguy]

All the women I spoke with (and I think a lot of women come into a sex shop looking for alternatives and aids) when quizzed further, described the fellow as curling his fingers while pushing them into the vagina, so fingernails are scraping over the skin.

Why the hell would the guy do that? Sheesh, no wonder the girls didn't like it... The guys were doing it all wrong!

As a guy, I always give the fingernails a tight trim that day before an encounter. I also use all the surfaces of the hand: the backs of the fingers & hand, curled knuckles, palm, thumb, edge of hand as well as the finger tips. Different shapes & textures yield different sensations. I also recognize that the lady's mood, wants & comfort levels are different at different times and so only penetrate with fingers when invited.

+1

 

[mimi]

yeah I get that feeling these days too....I discovered porn, quite by accident, on my nephews computer...I was checking out the cool movies he downloads and the title was pretty innocent..something Asian, I thought it was a karate movie. NOT!!

Anyway, he is 17, I did not tell his mom, but, I do worry about the influence it might have on his relationships...will he be frustrated if he gets rejected for trying to simulate what he sees? Sounds like an unlikely situation, except, I have experienced that in a relationship...

I remember really funny porn films when I was...mmmm...younger, like, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. There was always comedy and great laughs in the story, and then the fair maiden got shagged

For a while in the nineties I noticed (in the business) a shift in fantasies toward very young women. This seemed to go hand in hand with customers who used cocaine on a grand scale. It seemed that the impotence caused by the coke-use accelerated the desire to do more weird shit to gratify their lust....so they liked stories about pre-pubescent girls....this drove my duo partner crazy as she had little girls of her own....

Anyway, I have no contact with drug users anymore so I do not know if this is still the case, that drug use creates a shift in perception and creates unnatural desires in otherwise normal people...I could be blowing feathers out my nose here!

Kudos on the nail clipping...I am a fair person with sensitive very light pink skin, and I get a rash so quickly from any rough movements....I asked my doctor once when I was young "Do women eventual get callouses down there? So it doesn't hurt anymore?" He thought that was funny. I was serious!

 

[letitrock]

For me good sex is all about intention to please each other and to revel in the lust.. be it hard core or intensely slow and sensual. Eye contact and connection is a must no matter what style of sex you're having.

Perfect description of what good sex is