Pigeons

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

Fucking pigeons.
I can't seem to get the damn things to stay off my deck. That's deck with an 'e'.
Any ideas? Serious ideas. Ideas that can actually solve this problem?
I'd prefer to not poison them. But...

 

[thehaggler]

dont poison them if you do you it ruins the flavour

 

[Randy Whorewald]

Try a very careful placement of cashews, walnuts, unsalted peanuts and roasted almonds. It is preferable that they be placed together is one clean ceramic dish, beside which you might place a small dish of fresh water. The dishes can be decorated with small flowers if you wish, but this is not essential. Make certain you replenish the nuts and water on a daily basis for about two weeks ... and voila, you will see ... the pigeons will be gone.

Eaten / sppoked by the squirrels!!

 

[Sweetiepie]

Fucking pigeons.
I can't seem to get the damn things to stay off my deck. That's deck with an 'e'.

Sorry, I would have all kinds of ideas for you if it was with an "i". But with an "e", I'm stumped.

 

[n2supersymmetry]

a 40 of Jack Daniels, bb guns and whole lot of ammo. YEEEHAAAWWWW!

 

[50 Mile Radius]

Fucking pigeons.
I can't seem to get the damn things to stay off my deck. That's deck with an 'e'.
Any ideas? Serious ideas. Ideas that can actually solve this problem?
I'd prefer to not poison them. But...

Maybe you could reason with them?

 

[Maury Beniowski]

A couple of fake owls mounted overhead nearby usually takes care of the problem. Fake snakes also work...

Eventually though, they do wise up.

One surefire method is to take up falconry. They'll be gone for good then... Guaranteed!

 

[shuffle]

Fucking pigeons.
I can't seem to get the damn things to stay off my deck. That's deck with an 'e'.
Any ideas? Serious ideas. Ideas that can actually solve this problem?
I'd prefer to not poison them. But...

Maybe you can turn that dildo your wife wants you to buy into an owl?
Sorry, couldn't resist!

Shuffle

 

[Randy Whorewald]

When I was a kid we used to catch then sell (live) pigeons to the local Chinese restaurant on Kingwsay. It probably went into chicken chow mein.

 

[Sexy BBW]

a 40 of Jack Daniels, bb guns and whole lot of ammo. YEEEHAAAWWWW!

hahha like your sense of humor

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

Paintball guns would be a blast too !

If you miss the pigeons you just have to carefully listen
for the cursing and swearing somewhere down below.


............QM'r

 

[georgebushmoron]

When I was a kid I used to kill carpenter ants as they walked on the wooden fence in our yard. I would leave the carcasses on the fence. After a number of carcasses lying about the carpenter ants would detect it and tell all the others, and the stream of ants stopped.

Perhaps the same would happen if you had a few pigeon carcasses lying about. It would be gross, but they might never come back (I heard that although birds are dumb, they have good memories). I think its true that when an animal sees dead ones of its own species, they take it as a big danger warning.

 

[maverick73]

When I was a kid I used to kill carpenter ants as they walked on the wooden fence in our yard. I would leave the carcasses on the fence. After a number of carcasses lying about the carpenter ants would detect it and tell all the others, and the stream of ants stopped.

It's funny how nature "learns" eh? There is a rose tree in my driveway that grew inward... and a couple times it scratched the back right of my car as I backed out... so I proceeded to cut all the stems that protruded into the driveway... it would keep growing back and I would keep cutting... well, 1 year later... it's learned it's lesson... it started growing the other way now... that'll learn ya you stupid plant!!!!!

 

[Cock Throppled]

The plastic owls will work, but they have to be moved every so often or the birds will learn they are fake. Re-position them every week or so and it should do the trick. A few silver streamers work, too I hear. They sell them commercially to keep birds away from crops. Any movement deters them so wagging your dick at the deck will not only keep the pigeons away, but also most of your neighbours.

 

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

Update.

Well, I decided to go a different way altogether. I'm approaching this situation from another angle since yesterday, when I noticed the pigeons were actually nesting in one of our large planters. There was an egg. I scared away the mother and there it was. A lone egg.
Well.
This changed everything. It was now a family thing. The pigeons have begun muscling in on my turf. Just assuming that this is now their fuckin' home! Like shitting all over my deck up to this point hasn't been enough disrespect in itself? Fuckers. This is now personal. So, I decide to go mafia-style and off the kid. There's mom, on the next building over, maybe 20 feet away.I picked up the egg and threw it at her. (I missed). Maybe now they'll get the fuckin' message!

A little footnote to the above: The mom later came back and sat where the egg had been. I went out to scare her away, and she wouldn't budge. Like she didn't care if I just killed her or not. Just sat there and stared right at me. So I started beatin' at her with a stick...

 

[stryker]

A little footnote to the above: The mom later came back and sat where the egg had been. I went out to scare her away, and she wouldn't budge. Like she didn't care if I just killed her or not. Just sat there and stared right at me. So I started beatin' at her with a stick...

K,,ya took care of one of them,,what about the rest?They still shitting?

 

[georgebushmoron]

There's mom, on the next building over, maybe 20 feet away.I picked up the egg and threw it at her. (I missed). Maybe now they'll get the fuckin' message!

A little footnote to the above: The mom later came back and sat where the egg had been. I went out to scare her away, and she wouldn't budge. Like she didn't care if I just killed her or not. Just sat there and stared right at me. So I started beatin' at her with a stick...

Well she instinctively came back to incubate the egg some more, even in it's absence. They'll sit there for the period that it takes for the egg to normally hatch. Birds are known to do that.

Maybe next time you should set up a barbeque near the nest and crack open and fry some chicken eggs. Maybe she'll get the hint. Or if not, place the nest in your neighbor's yard.

 

[Maury Beniowski]

Well, I decided to go a different way altogether. I'm approaching this situation from another angle since yesterday, when I noticed the pigeons were actually nesting in one of our large planters. There was an egg. I scared away the mother and there it was. A lone egg.
Well.
This changed everything. It was now a family thing. The pigeons have begun muscling in on my turf. Just assuming that this is now their fuckin' home! Like shitting all over my deck up to this point hasn't been enough disrespect in itself? Fuckers. This is now personal. So, I decide to go mafia-style and off the kid. There's mom, on the next building over, maybe 20 feet away.I picked up the egg and threw it at her. (I missed). Maybe now they'll get the fuckin' message!

A little footnote to the above: The mom later came back and sat where the egg had been. I went out to scare her away, and she wouldn't budge. Like she didn't care if I just killed her or not. Just sat there and stared right at me. So I started beatin' at her with a stick...

Awwww, now that's a nice story...

I almost cried when I read it.

But I didn't!