PERB Daty Contest:
Franklyhuge: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Daty contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Perbians) that the
Daty wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have
free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
DATY # 1 - MIA'S MANIAC MONSTER PUSSY
VANMAN -- A little too heavy on the clamato. Amusing kick.
HIFI -- Nice, smooth clamato flavor. very mild.
Franklyhuge -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Perbians are crazy.
DATY # 2 - ARIEL'S AFTERBURNER PUSSY
VANMAN -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
HIFI -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more pubes to be taken
seriously.
Franklyhuge -- Keep this out of the reach of children.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people (50 mile and Marvin!) who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.
They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
DATY # 3 - FIONA'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN PUSSY ...
VANMAN -- Excellent firehouse pussy. Great kick.
HIFI -- A bit salty, good use of pubes.
Franklyhuge -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. The barmaid pounded me on the back, now
my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from
all of the beer.
DATY # 4 - BEYONCE'S BLACK MAGIC...
VANMAN -- Black pussy with almost no spice.
Disappointing.
HIFI -- Hint of lime ... Good for killing the fishy taste.
Franklyhuge -- I felt something scraping across my tongue,
but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.
That 300-LB woman is
starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is pussy an
aphrodisiac?
DATY # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
VANMAN -- Meaty, strong pussy. Cute pubes freshly groomed,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
HIFI -- Pussy looked like shredded beef, could use more clamato. Must
admit the curled pubes make a strong statement.
Franklyhuge -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
pussy had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning
my lips off.
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming.
Screw those rednecks.
DATY # 6 - VERY VERONICA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
VANMAN -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety vagina.
Good balance of spices and pubes.
HIFI -- The best yet. Aggressive use of pubes, lubes, and
garlic.
Superb.
Franklyhuge -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that Sally. I can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a
snow cone.
DATY # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION SNATCH...
VANMAN -- A mediocre pussyi with too much reliance on cute pubes.
HIFI -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
pussy juice at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Franklyhuge -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with pussy juice, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing it's too painful.
Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just
suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
DATY # 8 - BIG TRICIA'S TOENAIL CURLING PUSSY...
VANMAN -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend pussy. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
HIFI -- This final entry is a good, balanced pussy. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the pussy owner down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot pussyi?
Franklyhuge - No Report
Franklyhuge: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Daty contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Perbians) that the
Daty wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have
free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
DATY # 1 - MIA'S MANIAC MONSTER PUSSY
VANMAN -- A little too heavy on the clamato. Amusing kick.
HIFI -- Nice, smooth clamato flavor. very mild.
Franklyhuge -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Perbians are crazy.
DATY # 2 - ARIEL'S AFTERBURNER PUSSY
VANMAN -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
HIFI -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more pubes to be taken
seriously.
Franklyhuge -- Keep this out of the reach of children.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people (50 mile and Marvin!) who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.
They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
DATY # 3 - FIONA'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN PUSSY ...
VANMAN -- Excellent firehouse pussy. Great kick.
HIFI -- A bit salty, good use of pubes.
Franklyhuge -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. The barmaid pounded me on the back, now
my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from
all of the beer.
DATY # 4 - BEYONCE'S BLACK MAGIC...
VANMAN -- Black pussy with almost no spice.
Disappointing.
HIFI -- Hint of lime ... Good for killing the fishy taste.
Franklyhuge -- I felt something scraping across my tongue,
but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.
That 300-LB woman is
starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is pussy an
aphrodisiac?
DATY # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
VANMAN -- Meaty, strong pussy. Cute pubes freshly groomed,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
HIFI -- Pussy looked like shredded beef, could use more clamato. Must
admit the curled pubes make a strong statement.
Franklyhuge -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
pussy had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning
my lips off.
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming.
Screw those rednecks.
DATY # 6 - VERY VERONICA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
VANMAN -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety vagina.
Good balance of spices and pubes.
HIFI -- The best yet. Aggressive use of pubes, lubes, and
garlic.
Superb.
Franklyhuge -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that Sally. I can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a
snow cone.
DATY # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION SNATCH...
VANMAN -- A mediocre pussyi with too much reliance on cute pubes.
HIFI -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
pussy juice at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Franklyhuge -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with pussy juice, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing it's too painful.
Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just
suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
DATY # 8 - BIG TRICIA'S TOENAIL CURLING PUSSY...
VANMAN -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend pussy. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
HIFI -- This final entry is a good, balanced pussy. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the pussy owner down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot pussyi?
Franklyhuge - No Report
