One for the Ladies, LOL of the day

[Riza]

Here is one for the ladies. Its easy to bitch and complain about things that happen in our industry but I thought it would be more fun to laugh about it instead. We constantly get guys texting, calling and emails and have to shake our head about some of the requests, complaints and rants we get. Thought this would be a good way to lightheartedly joke about :eyebrows: Short, sweet, to the point and without the distraction of signatures.

I'll start.

My min 30 min rate does not mean three guys can split it 3 ways and get 10 minutes each. They just couldn't understand the concept that its not acceptable ROFLMFAO (Have to give them a A for trying)

 

[Riza]

"It's my birthday, do I get a discount" Same guy every month sends the same message.........

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

"Hi Erica..do you give discounts for young hung & good looking guys?"

 

[wilde]

I had a regular told me that one of her dates came 10 mins into a 30 mins appt and asked for a 2/3 refund as MSOG was not available for 30 mins appt.

 

[sybian]

I once asked if we weighed myself with her own bathroom scale, and after an hour with her, wasn't 1/2 a pound lighter...Would I get a discount because she hadn't done her job to the fullest of her capabilities.
She knew me well and knew I was just joking, so she replied..."Cowboy ,...If your a half pound lighter when we are done,....The rate will be double. If I am a half pound heavier when we are done....You'll be hearing from me, ANNND... my Lawyer, 9 months from now"

 

[EuroSZabina]

" I'm tall, dark and handsome so can get a better deal?" Lol

 

[sybian]

I always....I mean,...ALWAYS, get asked if I'm a Cop....Even by other Police Officers.
I get the head nod ,by the RCMP when I walk into Tim Hortons.
So I'm with a fine looking young Lady that I make an appointment with ,and she says.."Hmmmmm...You look like Vice" And I don't know what that is...A vice is something that sits next to my horse shoeing Anvil, and I say.."You mean Police?"..She says "Yah" ..in a very sarcastic way.
I said "I'm curious...Why would you say that?"..She said "Well it's your short hair cut, and the way you carry yourself"
So I said...."As for how I carry myself , I come from a hard and simple life...And the short hair helps me identify the wood ticks crawling up the back of my head...Which is why I carry myself this way..I think I may have one in my groin area as we speak"

The appointment didn't go as I had planned.

 

[MissingOne]

I always....I mean,...ALWAYS, get asked if I'm a Cop....

When I was younger, during my clean-cut phase, professional ladies would usually ask if I was a cop, and gay guys would frequently try to pick me up at the beaches on English Bay.

Now that I am, ahem, a "senior", neither of these things happens to me. Life is, in some ways, simpler.

 

[hornygandalf]

I'm too short to be a cop, and I don't like short hair... though some of it seems to have been disappearing on top, so no danger of me being suspected of being one

 

[@Felicity]

"What is your 'unlimited pops' rate?"

Because all ladies have an 'unlimited pops' rate.

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

How much you charges is 4 bj?

 

[sybian]

Well now Miss Erica....He may have Rancher Fingers, and a small keyboard...Or maybe not.

 

[Lo-ki]

Can I still get the weekend special on Thursday...???