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The Lord came to Noah, in Canada, in the year
2004.The earth was wicked and over-populated. The Lord instructed Noah to build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.
"Here's the blueprint", said the Lord "Hurry.... in
six months I start the unending rain for 40 days and
40 nights."
Six months later the rain started. The Lord looked
down and saw Noah weeping in his flooded yard....
and no ark. "Noah", He roared, "Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "Things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that Ihave violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and the height limitation being exceeded. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then Transport Canada and the Department of Highways and Hydro wanted a bond posted for the future
costs of moving power, trolley and other overhead
obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I argued the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of this. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. No go!I gathered the animals, but then I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was inhumane to put so many animals in so confined a space.
Environment Canada decided that I could not build
the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. The trades union wants me to hire only
Union trades-people with Ark building experience
To make matters worse, the Canada Revenue Agency seized all my assets,claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally as well as with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to
shine. A rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder."You mean you're not going to destroy the world?" he asked.
"No", said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it"
The Lord came to Noah, in Canada, in the year
2004.The earth was wicked and over-populated. The Lord instructed Noah to build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.
"Here's the blueprint", said the Lord "Hurry.... in
six months I start the unending rain for 40 days and
40 nights."
Six months later the rain started. The Lord looked
down and saw Noah weeping in his flooded yard....
and no ark. "Noah", He roared, "Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "Things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that Ihave violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and the height limitation being exceeded. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then Transport Canada and the Department of Highways and Hydro wanted a bond posted for the future
costs of moving power, trolley and other overhead
obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I argued the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of this. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. No go!I gathered the animals, but then I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was inhumane to put so many animals in so confined a space.
Environment Canada decided that I could not build
the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. The trades union wants me to hire only
Union trades-people with Ark building experience
To make matters worse, the Canada Revenue Agency seized all my assets,claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally as well as with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to
shine. A rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder."You mean you're not going to destroy the world?" he asked.
"No", said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it"
