New provider looking for advice

[Katie]

Hi everyone,

I have a question for the group at large. I'll try to keep this post as short as possible, apologies in advance if it rambles on too long.

I am a very new independent provider only been at it very part time and only for a few weeks. Just over a week ago I was contacted by a guy that was to become my first client. He seemed very nice and was agreeable to the verification process I asked him to go through so we made a date to meet at his home (I've been told that is not wise either, but I'm learning). He confirmed the night before and the day of, which didn't bother me.

We met and had a good time he was a nice guy, was very shy and very complimentary towards me. He explained he had been married for 18 years was recently single and this was his first time with a provider. I told him it was truthfully my first appointment as well. A couple of small warning signs to me during our first meeting and directly after. During our date he asked me if he could marry me or if he looked after me would I consider staying with him? Not wanting to get too deep into such a chat I just smiled laughed and said No.

Our time finished I went on my way and later thanked him for making my first time comfortable he was a gentlemen and it was appreciated. He responded with a glowing review which I really appreciated. He also said in that email I should just marry him and get it over with, and to drop him a line if I'm ever in his area. I politely declined his offers.

A week passed and he contacted me asking if I could meet that evening. I explained to him as it says on my website I am rarely, almost never available on short notice. I have a full time job and have limited time to meet. He understood and asked about meeting sometime later in the week. This was on a Tuesday evening. I replied saying Thursday at 3 PM was the only time I could get away, he said this was fine. We both confirmed that Thursday at 3 PM was fine and if anything changed for either of us to let the other know.

Wednesday he emailed asking if I could bring a bikini, I asked if he had a colour or style in mind? He wrote back asking me if I could send him pics of me in the bikinis so he could pick the one he wanted. I politely explained I don't send pics. He said ok then if you have a black or white one either would do. We again confirmed for Thursday at 3 PM and if anything changes to let each other know.

Thursday morning came I put aside a black and a white bikini and I went about my normal business.

Now here is where I got freaked out, opinions really wanted here.

At 11:20am he emailed asking if we were still on for 3 PM, as I was busy I didn't see or reply to his email. 20 minutes later he emailed again repeating the same question. 15 minutes after the second email I got another email from him, this time saying he thinks his email is not receiving, only sending and he sent his phone number asking me to text to confirm.

I don't have a phone yet for this so have only been communicating in email and I'm not comfortable with the idea of texting from my personal phone number and 3 emails in such a short time when I had already confirmed the night before was coming across as too aggressive.

10 minutes later the fourth email came, this time saying he is letting me know 3 PM still works and he left his phone number again so I can call/text to confirm.

At this point I had enough and I emailed him saying that I had received all of his emails but as I've explained to him in the past I have a full time job, as such I can't just sit and answer emails all day. More so when the last night and the night before we both confirmed the time and place and we would reach out IF the plan changed for some reason. So his 4 emails in under an hour combined with the other comments (marry me, stay with me, drop me a line when in town) made me uncomfortable and I was cancelling the appointment with him and that I was not comfortable continuing to have him as a client.

His final email in reply basically said he has no idea where this is coming from, he just changed phone providers and didn't think his email was working and he wanted to confirm. A few other things about he didn't mean to ask for pics and he was really looking forward to seeing me etc...

But my point of view was nothing had changed at all so I don't know why confirming four times 3 hours before our date was needed. I never had a problem receiving his emails in the past and I always replied when I could, I just don't live on my email. He also had another email he had originally contacted me with so if he was concerned about his email not working he could've used the original email he contacted me with.

He seemed like a nice guy but I just got a feeling I might have been getting involved with someone too recently divorced that was clinging onto our "relationship" as being more than it was. Plus I have heard stories about guys trying to "save" new girls in the biz, so that crossed my mind as well. I don't want to make mistakes but I realize it's important I feel safe and comfortable in all situations.

Side note. I have met a few guys since him and none of them has exhibited this type of behaviour. Everyone seems very nice and respectful and my overall experience as a services provider has been pretty positive.

Rant over, thanks for anyone that made it to the end and please let me know your thoughts. I'm hoping you can offer opinions on if I made a wise choice or if I jumped the gun due to being too new to all of this.

 

[meaghanmcleodDELETED]

Always listen to your gut. If you miss an opportunity, oh well. However, if you ignore it, it could be a big mistake. Most want a same day confirmation - so, maybe in the future, set a specific time on when final confirmation will be made.

 

[*emmanuelle]

Having a full time job and trying to be a service provider at the same time can be exhausting! Side note: I’ve always found it funny how the main role of being an escort is actually secretarial / administration stuff (definitely not what I signed up for!)

Going through piles of emails/texts/private messages/phone calls and trying to figure out which guys are legitimate, polite, sane clients can be a really daunting task, especially in the beginning.

As you become more experienced, you’ll start to recognize red flags that help you easily exclude time wasters, creeps, and jerks. You’ll also learn to make fast, executive decisions on whether or not to accept (and keep) somebody as a client.

Here’s the thing about those decisions though: YOU WON’T ALWAYS BE RIGHT. When you’re corresponding with dozens of (relative) strangers in a day, you might accidentally misjudge somebody. I estimate that my inbox has a 1:6 ratio of nice, normal clients to weirdo time wasters. With those kinds of odds, I tend to be a pretty heavy-handed with my rejections. Unfortunately, that might mean accidentally excluding a perfectly good guy every once in a while. However, you CAN'T spend your time micro-analyzing every situation, trying to decide whether you did the “right” thing or not. There just isn’t time for that.

Good luck!!

 

[Cock Throppled]

You did the right thing.

This client sounds like he was getting way too emotionally attached.

Encouraging him would only make things worse.

 

[apl16]

You seem to be on the right track. Good luck!

 

[helloim]

Yea, he's clingy. Do you post on Leolist?

 

[ramblingboy]

I think you made the right call.
He would become a problem one way or the other you may as well deal with it right away.
Who needs the hassle?

 

[UhOh]

If this guy wants to marry after one visit I can't imagine what he wants after two.
Maybe just tell your next clients that you are already married

 

[SFMIKE]

In all fairness to the ladies in red, who among us might consider this long post to be unpaid advertising? I cannot be the only one.

 

[Katie]

Hey everyone,

WOW, thank you all so much for the feedback I was hoping for a couple of replies and was hopeful the overall view would be I made the right call. But I didn't imagine so many of you would take time out to help a newbie, my sincere thanks. Some great and funny advice and I will take it all to heart for the future.

@Emmy, I sent you a private message but wanted to also acknowledge in public how nice it was of you to take time out and give me the insight you did. I see your point no sense in worrying about what's done. I had no idea the ratio of normal to not so normal was so high, again great info to keep in mind going forward.

I am very encouraged with how helpful everyone has been so far and I am feeling much better about my handling of things as I learn the ropes.

Thank again.

YDC

P.S. - @SFMIKE - As mentioned in PM I have ordered up an advertising package and am waiting for it to be activated. It was never my intention to step on any toes. Thanks for your vigilance in looking out for the "ladies in red" :hug:

 

[EuroSZabina]

Brings me back nice memories with one of my regular when I was very new in the business, he asked me to merry him too.
All I could do is laugh away, he looked serious yet goofy bending down on his knees asking the question after I opened the door. We always had a great time over the years.

Good luck to you in the business, never forget one thing, never retire for anybody until you can support yourself, don't give up on your independency for anything. Ever !!!

 

[SFMIKE]

My sincere apologies to YDC. I suggested that her writing might be seen as unpaid adverting. Well, in a span of perhaps one hour, she has gotten some great advice from some of the ladies in red ,and she will soon be in "RED". I am looking forward to seeing her name in red, but more importantly, I feel she is off to a very good start. May you have a long and successful career, for as long as you wish.

Again, mea maxima culpa, And, best of luck

 

[Katie]

Hey Mike,

Well an apology was not needed, I know you were sincere in your concerns, it's none the less much appreciated.

Thanks for the well wishes.

Take care

My sincere apologies to YDC. I suggested that her writing might be seen as unpaid adverting. Well, in a span of perhaps one hour, she has gotten some great advice from some of the ladies in red ,and she will soon be in "RED". I am looking forward to seeing her name in red, but more importantly, I feel she is off to a very good start. May you have a long and successful career, for as long as you wish.

Again, mea maxima culpa, And, best of luck

 

[resercher]

Hi everyone,

I have a question for the group at large. I'll try to keep this post as short as possible, apologies in advance if it rambles on too long.

I am a very new independent provider only been at it very part time and only for a few weeks. Just over a week ago I was contacted by a guy that was to become my first client. He seemed very nice and was agreeable to the verification process I asked him to go through so we made a date to meet at his home (I've been told that is not wise either, but I'm learning). He confirmed the night before and the day of, which didn't bother me.

We met and had a good time he was a nice guy, was very shy and very complimentary towards me. He explained he had been married for 18 years was recently single and this was his first time with a provider. I told him it was truthfully my first appointment as well. A couple of small warning signs to me during our first meeting and directly after. During our date he asked me if he could marry me or if he looked after me would I consider staying with him? Not wanting to get too deep into such a chat I just smiled laughed and said No.

Our time finished I went on my way and later thanked him for making my first time comfortable he was a gentlemen and it was appreciated. He responded with a glowing review which I really appreciated. He also said in that email I should just marry him and get it over with, and to drop him a line if I'm ever in his area. I politely declined his offers.

A week passed and he contacted me asking if I could meet that evening. I explained to him as it says on my website I am rarely, almost never available on short notice. I have a full time job and have limited time to meet. He understood and asked about meeting sometime later in the week. This was on a Tuesday evening. I replied saying Thursday at 3 PM was the only time I could get away, he said this was fine. We both confirmed that Thursday at 3 PM was fine and if anything changed for either of us to let the other know.

Wednesday he emailed asking if I could bring a bikini, I asked if he had a colour or style in mind? He wrote back asking me if I could send him pics of me in the bikinis so he could pick the one he wanted. I politely explained I don't send pics. He said ok then if you have a black or white one either would do. We again confirmed for Thursday at 3 PM and if anything changes to let each other know.

Thursday morning came I put aside a black and a white bikini and I went about my normal business.

Now here is where I got freaked out, opinions really wanted here.

At 11:20am he emailed asking if we were still on for 3 PM, as I was busy I didn't see or reply to his email. 20 minutes later he emailed again repeating the same question. 15 minutes after the second email I got another email from him, this time saying he thinks his email is not receiving, only sending and he sent his phone number asking me to text to confirm.

I don't have a phone yet for this so have only been communicating in email and I'm not comfortable with the idea of texting from my personal phone number and 3 emails in such a short time when I had already confirmed the night before was coming across as too aggressive.

10 minutes later the fourth email came, this time saying he is letting me know 3 PM still works and he left his phone number again so I can call/text to confirm.

At this point I had enough and I emailed him saying that I had received all of his emails but as I've explained to him in the past I have a full time job, as such I can't just sit and answer emails all day. More so when the last night and the night before we both confirmed the time and place and we would reach out IF the plan changed for some reason. So his 4 emails in under an hour combined with the other comments (marry me, stay with me, drop me a line when in town) made me uncomfortable and I was cancelling the appointment with him and that I was not comfortable continuing to have him as a client.

His final email in reply basically said he has no idea where this is coming from, he just changed phone providers and didn't think his email was working and he wanted to confirm. A few other things about he didn't mean to ask for pics and he was really looking forward to seeing me etc...

But my point of view was nothing had changed at all so I don't know why confirming four times 3 hours before our date was needed. I never had a problem receiving his emails in the past and I always replied when I could, I just don't live on my email. He also had another email he had originally contacted me with so if he was concerned about his email not working he could've used the original email he contacted me with.

He seemed like a nice guy but I just got a feeling I might have been getting involved with someone too recently divorced that was clinging onto our "relationship" as being more than it was. Plus I have heard stories about guys trying to "save" new girls in the biz, so that crossed my mind as well. I don't want to make mistakes but I realize it's important I feel safe and comfortable in all situations.

Side note. I have met a few guys since him and none of them has exhibited this type of behaviour. Everyone seems very nice and respectful and my overall experience as a services provider has been pretty positive.

Rant over, thanks for anyone that made it to the end and please let me know your thoughts. I'm hoping you can offer opinions on if I made a wise choice or if I jumped the gun due to being too new to all of this.

Thought this thread was about giving you advertising advice my advice on that would be put your hourly rates in your ad however .

Man is a delusional stalker from what you say It sounds like this person wants to use you replace his wife of 18 years I would have cut off contact at the marriage proposal .
There probably was a good reason his wife left him .

Some of the sp who have dealt with this might have better advice but here are some idea's

1 automatic reply email.
I would set up sort of automatic reply email with your hours you want to work etc in it . Some sp have a booking calendar on there websight . Though I would not book anything with this man


2 high security bump key proof locks.
I would change the locks where you live to some sort of high security bump key proof lock. Nothing you could get at your average hardware store I would go to a locksmith . These are locks that it is very hard to open with a bump key Usual break in tool used and they also have keys that can not be duplicated without your consent.





3 separate cell phone for escort work
when you do get a phone. I would Buy a cell phone that you Olney use for your escort work . That way he can not use reverse look up to find out where you live. Take self defense classes etc

here is some info on stalkers for you .



http://www.self-defense-mind-body-spirit.com/stalker.html


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...201605/the-7-types-stalkers-and-how-spot-them


http://jec.unm.edu/education/online-training/stalking-tutorial/categories-of-stalking


sorry you ran into this type of person but it is i guess a hazard of the job . Good luck .

 

[felixthecat]

Our time finished I went on my way and later thanked him for making my first time comfortable he was a gentlemen and it was appreciated.

Contacting clients like that is a nice gesture and must be an effective way of keeping good ones. You may want to use it selectively though. This particular client didn't need any more leading on, given your initial concern.

With all respect to Hatrick, "no wonder his wife split on him" comment is way too harsh. It's normal that young beautiful ladies make men dumb, at least temporarily. After a 18-year monogamy / maybe a dry spell, the emotional high from GFE can be enormous. It's a new and delicate situation for the guy.

That's not to say it was wrong to dump him. Even on the first date, if you feel the marriage proposal was serious, you can make the call it was too much. Spamming you with messages was bad enough too.

Confirmations on the day are useful, for first few times until you know the person is reliable. Even if you have no doubts it's on, the other person may be not sure or forget what day it is or mix up their calendar. You could say in advance when you'd confirm (in the morning, or shortly before the meeting), so it's done on your terms and not increasing effort much.

I have to commend you on handling of a tricky situation and for looking for feedback. It's nice you explained the guy the reasons of your decision, so he has a chance to learn and hopefully become a good client for somebody else.

Unrelated advice, get a business name, something that sounds like first + last name or adjective + name. Generic names don't work well because people couldn't search for reviews. Also names should be longer than 3 characters for search to work here.

 

[Aellyn Rose]

Hi everyone,

I have a question for the group at large. [...]
Rant over, thanks for anyone that made it to the end and please let me know your thoughts. I'm hoping you can offer opinions on if I made a wise choice or if I jumped the gun due to being too new to all of this.

Couple things you will also learn in addition to trusting your gut...
One, you don't need to repeat yourself. If someone is stepping all over something you have stated once, maybe twice, that's when it's time to move on to clients who have more respect for you.
Two, the only situation you would allow a relationship with a client to cause you stress on your own time is if they have high, specific expectations and you're preparing yourself mentally and going over the scenario. Especially if you have another source of income - which should always be the case - you don't need to put yourself through that, just wait for another gentleman to show up who will be wonderful to you.

 

[Katie]

I've met guys like him over and over again after the divorce they are whining how their wife left them and nothing they did was at fault. They worked and worked and couldn't make her happy, it's all her fault blah blah blah, I felt sorry for them at first. Once I got to know them you could see what control freaks they were and how inept they would do things I could only imagine how the wife could put up with his shit for so long. Ever so needy they would seize on anything that came their way only to create another disaster. That's the same vibe I got from YDC's post, only a real loser would slobber all over himself asking the first SP to marry him then freak out and stalk her with texts. She made the right call and I stand by my observation, the older I get the less tolerant I've become to idiots and their bullshit!

Hi there, I have to admit at first I thought maybe you were being too hard on the guy but truth is I was probably being too soft being new and all. I realize one little thing I didn't make clear was he asked me to marry him during our date but then a second time when he emailed me after. At the time I guess I was thinking oh he's funny type thing, but when I add that to all the other things he did and said I am feeling like I dodged a bullet. The advice from the group here has been amazing and I really appreciate the other SP's that have made it really clear to me there is no sense in worrying about it, a good one might slip through the cracks but it's better to be safe than sorry.

 

[VancityDivas]

Hi there, I have to admit at first I thought maybe you were being too hard on the guy but truth is I was probably being too soft being new and all. I realize one little thing I didn't make clear was he asked me to marry him during our date but then a second time when he emailed me after. At the time I guess I was thinking oh he's funny type thing, but when I add that to all the other things he did and said I am feeling like I dodged a bullet. The advice from the group here has been amazing and I really appreciate the other SP's that have made it really clear to me there is no sense in worrying about it, a good one might slip through the cracks but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Very right
Sounds like you've gotten a lot of feedback already but also you are well equipped to handle yourself - which is vastly more important!

There's a lot of extremely respectful, genuine and caring people who you will connect with but at the same time and even larger crowd of less than desirable people who will make you rethink the industry... my advice is to keep screening and stick to your gut feeling in tricky situations as it's best to in cases where you're quite uncertain like this.

All in all this comes with good and bad so as long as you're comfortable and happy with your decisions it makes a world of difference.

There are many women who need to do this as they can't do anything else and quite frankly are the fast food joints of this industry - you just never want to end up in that place.

You have a career and do this part time and are what a courtesan should be so you are doing things right in my opinion !

Cheers,

 

[SeekSteadyRegSP]

Well doesn't fate throw us curve balls now and then. I just got myself a new webpage and ads etc, all set up and ready to roll. Met a couple of nice new clients and boom my career got cut short. By choice of course, I had some serious heart to heart talks with a very close friend of mine and we both realized that we want to take a stab at a regular type relationship. I didn't see it coming, he and I just sort of fell into it, but it feels right for both of us. He is well aware of my SP activities but with my regular job and now a full time relationship I just don't have the time or interest to continue as an SP.

It was great meeting all the people here I talked with, they have all been so nice and supportive of me and I wish you all the best.

I also wanted to mention that my domain yourdiscreetcompanion.com has been passed on to a friend of mine. She's a good friend and I feel comfortable in allowing her to take over the site, just wanted to give a heads up to those that had contacted me via the site that any further exchanges will be going to her. I hope you all will give her as warm a welcome as you did for me.

Thanks again everyone and good luck to one and all.

Katie

Well didn't Katie's escort career flash like a meteor across the PERB sky?


Surely she is just one of those ultra-hot young women who are sought-after by society on every level, and escorting was just the briefest pause in her usual routine before she accepted a better offer.


I sense that Katie was always sincere, and that some of her departure is "fate", yet the longevity of her escorting life certainly wasn't much.

In fact, katie might be one of those who left escorting in much the same condition she knew upon arrival... hopefully she just needed the quick cash during that short window of time, and nothing more.

 

[sevenofnine]

my two cents.

follow your gut, your instincts.
don't really trust anyone to much, especially clients. I repeat especially clients.

its funny, I have been with my sp for going on 12 years, and tell her that from time to time. don't trust us guys, that includes me, we want freebies special privileges blah blah blah, we think we know whats best for you,

in truth only you know whats best for you, listen to everything, but make up your own mind.

meet a lady or two in this hobby, and ask them, someone who has been around awhile. don't listen to the trolls on this board when they critical, or get a swelled head from all the white nights who don't have any balls to say it like it is.


but yes the guy sounded a bit weird more then just nervous a little bit strange. and feel free to tell any guy to hit the road. a newbi or some one who has been around for ever. you don't need anyone's permission honey or any ones ok either.