Never Say To A Cop

[Massagegirl]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney? (I don't get this one.)

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes
look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

[Gonzofiend]

Hi MG,

I believe the Andy or Barney crack pertains to the old tv series "Mayberry RFD". Is that what they called it? Way before my time but I've seen some reruns. Anyway, it's Andy Taylor and Barney Fife from that show, at least that is my best guess.

Gonzo

 

[butthead]

Andy Griffith Show

They were Andy and Barney from the Andy Griffith Show. Mayberry was the town which the shoe was based. The actors were Andy - Andy Griffith (recently of Matlock fame), Barney - Don Knotts (remember Mr. Furley of Three's Company?), little Ronnie Howard; now Ron Howard, a renowned Producer (starred as Richie Cunningham on Happy Days).

 

[hitrack]

No check stops in Van last xmas or at all lately, hope I don't jinx anything, but I'm lovin it. Really botch up the cruisin.

When I do hit the ol check stop I keep my answers short as a mo-fo.

All you ever have to say, in this order is.....NO NO YES, and your done.

 

[Dakota Wood]

Never say to a cop...

Hey! You look just like the guy in the picture on my Booty Call's night table!

 

[nowayjose]

A friend of mine who gave up drinking always tells them, You're about 10 years too late. Usually gets a smile or laugh.