Need Some Advice from other SP's on dating

[gigolojake]

OK...this is a serious post.

It will sound strange to many, but for about a year I've really wanted to date. Totally separate from being a male SP, I would like to meet someone. However, I'm also not a liar.

So when I meet someone, I tell them what I do and usually, they aren't impressed.

I've tried being upfront on certain web sites and I do get response, but 98% of the replies are much like a female SP would get if she posted the same thing. They either want a free ride or they just aren't what I'm looking for.

My question is... have any of you SP's faced this? I expect guys to take the news differently than women...I'm not naive, but any tips on breaking the news? Ideas on segments of the female population that would be more receptive to a male SP?

Heck...do you even date? Should I bother trying?

I'll take any and all advice, although I am sure I'll get replies from guys wondering what my problem is

 

[gigolojake]

That's nice to know...

Thanks Alize!

Knowing I'm not alone is cool.

I don't think it's me..... my clients all want to date me...yikes!!!!

It would be nice to be able to be completely open with someone....tell them my real name even ;-)

Jake

 

[aznboi9]

Maybe you can try dating SPs.

 

[Leigh]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I can't imagine you could make a living servicing women, so I'd worry about the men

 

[gigolojake]

Some good advice everyone

Some follow up information:

1. Yes, I have tried dating SP's. As you can see, most feel they shouldn't while they are in the biz so there are not many to get to know in that way.

2. I have been an SP for about 10 years. You can make a living at it, but not maintain quality. A male SP is not like a female one ... obviously. So, I refuse to chemically enhance my performance and instead I never see more than one client a day and I rarely see more than 3 per week. My donation is roughly the same as most of the women and I have a lot of regulars. Being in the business for this long helps build that up. It is most definitely NOT what most men think or fantasize that it is.

3. My real motivation is perhaps just as much to have a friend as much as a relationship. In my personal life, no one knows what I do, and in my SP life, my relationships are all professional. So, having someone I can be honest with and who will not be judgemental would be cool. Strangely, those just happen to be great qualities for a relationship

 

[Euro_SZabina]

When I started SPing I decided to do it short and painless and never date anybody while I work

I am not sure even if you date somebody and you are an SP, whether its possible to stay professional. I can see now not for me.... my feelings just would play crazy and I consider myself as reasonable German girl...

For some reason I am pretty sure it wouldn't be for me. I could forgive everything even if I love him and he sees SPs great so far I could go, but I am sure I would suffer if I were in love or sort of...

And I would suffer to perform my job... so SPing and dating is not for me.. I guess I am not professional enough.

Heidi Heisss

Exactly !!!! Some people can do it, I tried in my first year then I just totally blocked out the possibility of dating.
Wasn't for me.

And I would suffer to perform my job... so SPing and dating is not for me.. I guess I am not professional enough.

Heidi Heisss

I agree with you 100% , I didn't want to mix the 2 together either, however it doesn't mean that you are not professional.

 

[CCDeville]

Dating

I think the best angle is to find someone who has a bit of a cuckolding fetish themselves, then break the news to them. If it actually turns them on to think of you with other women, it has a better chance of working out than if they are just trying to ignore the fact of what you do for a living. It's worked for me anyways

 

[MissSunisa]

Sadly, maybe this is the bargain you get for your work...
A very 'open minded' SP is your best bet. I imagine most other monogamous women will feel unhappy that you are with other women...unless you quit.

 

[babygurl]

It's like anything Jake, I'm sure there is a segment of the girls who would date you and a HUGE segment of them who won't. I think it will be very difficult for you to date until you retire. Making good money, living the life as you do, comes with some difficulties and this is one of them. Good Luck.

I have to agree with Hubba... I was an SP for about a year, if not longer and found it very difficult to date. I was living with a buddy when I first started and then me and him decided to start seeing eachother... although he knew what I did it made things very hard and we struggled a lot in our relationship. Eventually we broke up since he tried to make me quit etc... Point of the story is that even if u meet someone that thinks they can handle the situation, chances are that they really think thy can change u into getting a 'normal' job to keep them. It would be hard for anyone to not think about it.

My suggestion is that if u enjoy ur line of work then wait until u retire to get into a realtionship but, if ur really into finding someone, then maybe dont tell them and once u see the relationship moving forward quit SPing. Im not say u should lie to someone but its not worth putting urself through unnecessary drama if things arent going anywhere anyways... ya know?

Hopfully I helped.... GOOD LUCK!

 

[Aerts]

3. My real motivation is perhaps just as much to have a friend as much as a relationship. In my personal life, no one knows what I do, and in my SP life, my relationships are all professional. So, having someone I can be honest with and who will not be judgemental would be cool. Strangely, those just happen to be great qualities for a relationship

What do you tell people you do for work then? Hotdog vendor?

 

[gigolojake]

I see a theme...

I appreciate everyone's comments. It is starting to sound like the theme is that if I don't find just the right woman, I'll need to quit.

Ironically, I don't think there is a "shelf life" for me. As I get older I actually find myself appealing to even more clients than before.

Since I don't rely on this for my living, I also own a legitimate business. I have many motivations for being an SP and the money is cool, but not the whole reason. So, giving it up, though a possibility, would be hard to do when the reasons I do it aren't income related.

At any rate, it is a very difficult question for me. "BabyGurl" offers the advice of waiting to break the news, or simply quiting if I find the right one, but frankly, that still feels "wrong" to me. The past is the past and I don't know if a future relationship needs to know, but while I am in SP, I'm really driven to being very honest in this area. No one gets hurt if I'm honest....someone might if I'm not.

Another SP might be the way to go, but that's not up to me. I don't want to use this board to "troll" the SP dating market I'd be happy to meet any SP for a cup of java and a chat. It would be refreshing to have some personal time with no secrets.

Thank you HubbaHubba for playing matchmaker. I think it's appropriate after these suggestions to date an SP that I do NOT approach anyone....only fair I think.

Great advice everyone. I appreciate you taking the time to type at me. Any insight is welcome.

 

[gigolojake]

Now, now...

Nina...I'd love to hear from you. Would you PM me?

 

[kidstone]

I think you need to keep dating. It's hard for everyone and sometimes we just settle for someone who doesn't like us the way we are and wants to change us. But I believe that if you stick at it long enough, date a variety of women, look in different social areas of your life, eventually you're going to meet one who is cool with you just the way you are.

But it's tough, it takes a lot of energy and a lot of time, and you get really depressed. However it's not hopeless, not everyone wants a conventional relationship and for someone out there you're the guy she's always wanted.

 

[gigolojake]

Nina, we would appreciate a full review of the date if it happens.

You'll have to wait for the .... 3rd date, yep...the 3rd date for "that" kind of review ;-)

 

[Inamorato]

Some follow up information:

1. Yes, I have tried dating SP's. As you can see, most feel they shouldn't while they are in the biz so there are not many to get to know in that way.

3. My real motivation is perhaps just as much to have a friend as much as a relationship. In my personal life, no one knows what I do, and in my SP life, my relationships are all professional. So, having someone I can be honest with and who will not be judgemental would be cool. Strangely, those just happen to be great qualities for a relationship

It's a tough dynamic, when both people are SPs

I have dated a few SPs now, and it is your best option as far as having a fun night on the town, and being open about your career. The problem is, when the relationship gets more serious, feelings are sure to emerge on one side or the other, and then the situation becomes more complex.

I've learned to enjoy dating, but keep things casual. There's no way I would try to be in a committed relationship while working in the industry.

2. I have been an SP for about 10 years. You can make a living at it, but not maintain quality. A male SP is not like a female one ... obviously. Being in the business for this long helps build that up. It is most definitely NOT what most men think or fantasize that it is.

It took me about 6 months of part-time escorting to build up a client base that allowed me to give up my 9-5 job. And even now I still do some driving for girls, to supplement the income. It's all about the repeat clients in our field, and very few guys can make it work...however, for those of us who can, it beats the hell outta sitting at a desk all day!

 

[naughtygirl]

I'm just a little curious and off topic...What is it like to be a male SP? I'd be interested to hear the flip side to it.

As for the dating, sadly I would agree that this biz and dating don't work. I met my SO a few months before a retired..It was hell working and then at the end of the day comforting someone for their insecurities. It is probably hell on the other end thinking who your SO might be sucking or fucking. After over 4 years in the relationship and most of that being retired, my past as an escort is still thrown in my face. I think true acceptance is a really hard thing to find being in this biz or even after you leave the biz. Maybe I just met the wrong guy though, perhaps it is out there, I still like to think so even though it's not a part of my current relationship.

Anyways Good luck gigalojake, this biz can be isolating..I understand where you're coming from just wanting a friend or partner you don't have to pretend to be what you're not, or change to suit them.

 

[Inamorato]

I'm just a little curious and off topic...What is it like to be a male SP? I'd be interested to hear the flip side to it.

thats a common question...and theres no quick answer.
Probably better discussed over a bottle of wine, than in an online forum.

Great, now it sounds like I'm cruising for a date too

It is completely different than it is for the Ladies though,
far fewer clients around, but I think the clients are more likely to repeat when they receive great service, unlike many Male Hobbyists who are off to see the next girl on their list.
Also, the experience we provide has to be exceptional, because Women don't need to pay for sex, they pay to be Pampered in every sense of the word and to have an experience that the average guy cannot, or, is rarely willing to provide, intimately, personally and even spiritually.
The clients vary from Divorcees who are not quite ready to date again, but need some attention, to Married Ladies who need a little extra, to young, single, attractive Women who are tired of being let down by the men they meet, and want to ensure their needs are met.

 

[naughtygirl]

thats a common question...and theres no quick answer.
Probably better discussed over a bottle of wine, than in an online forum.

Great, now it sounds like I'm cruising for a date too

It is completely different than it is for the Ladies though,
far fewer clients around, but I think the clients are more likely to repeat when they receive great service, unlike many Male Hobbyists who are off to see the next girl on their list.
Also, the experience we provide has to be exceptional, because Women don't need to pay for sex, they pay to be Pampered in every sense of the word and to have an experience that the average guy cannot, or, is rarely willing to provide, intimately, personally and even spiritually.
The clients vary from Divorcees who are not quite ready to date again, but need some attention, to Married Ladies who need a little extra, to young, single, attractive Women who are tired of being let down by the men they meet, and want to ensure their needs are met.

Interesting, thank you for your upfront answer Oh and BTW the word pampered is sure to get attention from the ladies. It would be intriguing to know more as I am a curious cat..but as you said it's hard to have a dialogue as such on an open forum.

 

[naughtygirl]

I think I will go have a peek a boo....Will satisfy more of my curiosity

 

[Owudoin]

The biggest thing to keep in mind is people are inherently possesive at least on some level. Even though they may be cool with what you do, and say that the fact that you're with these other women/couples is hot...there will be some chance of jealousy coming to the surface. It's tough to compare stories about how your day was..."hi honey how was your day at work?" "Well dear, I had a client that booked me to have sex with his wife because he wanted to watch her have sex with another man as an anniversary present to her....how about you?" Somehow when she tells you about the problems with the printer at work or the traffic...it just ain't going to be the same after a while. Then again, she might get a huge kick out of it...the "naughtiness" of it all. Maybe she'll love the fact that she's the one that gets to have the "real" you. It's sort of like dating a superhero. As goofy as that sounds...she just gets to see your secret identity.