Need help ..premature ejaculation is ruining my sex life :(

[Fox1302]

Hi,

I first want to say how great is to have this type of forum in place, where we all can learn and share experiences.

I have a small problem which I've been dealing with for past decade and would appreciate an opinion from a professional or other members who might have dealt with this type of issue before.

I simply get excited too much too quickly, and I can't contol it . You could say that I've mastered a technique of a quick sex, maybe too much.

Sometimes, it can happen that only after couple of seconds during the intercourse I'm done. I was able to slow down this occurance by having a couple of glasses of wine before an intercourse, which I guess lowers down my sensitivity, but not for long.

The good thing is that after I'm done I recover quickly and I'm ready for action again (within 10-15min). The second erection last a bit longer but still not what it used to be.

The funny thing is that when I was in my early 20ties, it was quite the opposite. I was able to go for 15-20min rides easily. Since my 30ties, 3 min rides are more common once I'm in.

I read about some techniques to work on this but it didn't work for me (masturbating and then stopping just before the end and then repeating).

This issue is really serious for me as I am not able to enjoy the sex as before. I like to try different things in bed, and ladies consider me quite playful so this issue really bothers me. I even started avoiding sex to avoid this whole "embarressment". And I do like the sex very much, and I'm well equpped for that.
The quick ejaculations don't give me a chance for a full enoyment and creativity any more. I'm one of those guys that like to satisfy their ladies first, before getting their own piece of heaven I do know how to pleasure women by other means and techniques but I miss the long sweaty "rides"

First, I was wondering if there is a medical explanation for this (how come I was a long rider when I was younger and now I react as a collage student).

Second, any practical advices from the guys that overcame this issue in the past?

I am a healthy guy, in a good shape, quite active in sports and other activities.

Thank you!
Fox

 

[Health Nurse]

Hi,

I first want to say how great is to have this type of forum in place, where we all can learn and share experiences.

I have a small problem which I've been dealing with for past decade and would appreciate an opinion from a professional or other members who might have dealt with this type of issue before.

I simply get excited too much too quickly, and I can't contol it . You could say that I've mastered a technique of a quick sex, maybe too much.

Sometimes, it can happen that only after couple of seconds during the intercourse I'm done. I was able to slow down this occurance by having a couple of glasses of wine before an intercourse, which I guess lowers down my sensitivity, but not for long.

The good thing is that after I'm done I recover quickly and I'm ready for action again (within 10-15min). The second erection last a bit longer but still not what it used to be.

The funny thing is that when I was in my early 20ties, it was quite the opposite. I was able to go for 15-20min rides easily. Since my 30ties, 3 min rides are more common once I'm in.

I read about some techniques to work on this but it didn't work for me (masturbating and then stopping just before the end and then repeating).

This issue is really serious for me as I am not able to enjoy the sex as before. I like to try different things in bed, and ladies consider me quite playful so this issue really bothers me. I even started avoiding sex to avoid this whole "embarressment". And I do like the sex very much, and I'm well equpped for that.
The quick ejaculations don't give me a chance for a full enoyment and creativity any more. I'm one of those guys that like to satisfy their ladies first, before getting their own piece of heaven I do know how to pleasure women by other means and techniques but I miss the long sweaty "rides"

First, I was wondering if there is a medical explanation for this (how come I was a long rider when I was younger and now I react as a collage student).

Second, any practical advices from the guys that overcame this issue in the past?

I am a healthy guy, in a good shape, quite active in sports and other activities.

Thank you!
Fox

Hi Fox

This is not my area of expertise, but I can give you some information about premature ejaculation (PE) and some people you could see that specialize with this.

Premature ejaculation is a common concern for men.

I thought it would be good to start off with some information about what is an average time for a man to ejaculate. I was able to find some research in the journal of sexual medicine from 2005. In this one article they studied 500 couples from 5 countries to see what the men's intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) was. This is the time from when the penis first enters the vagina to when he ejaculates inside the vagina. The couples used stopwatches to time this.

The median IELT was 5.4 minutes. The median result means the middle result e.g. If you had 500 times from the couples and put them in order from fastest to slowest the 250 person would be 5.4 minutes. The range was from 0.55-44.1 minutes. It seems that the majority of the men were in the 3-7min period. The median IELT decreased with age, from 6.5 minutes in the 18-30 years group to 4.3 minutes in the group older than 51 years.

Dr Bernie Zilbergeld (a well known sex therapist) likes to point out that sex problems are normal and typical for most men at least some of the time. He also points out that ejaculation problems can be devastating to a man's life, as some men think it better to go without love and without sex than to be humiliated.

There isn't a specific time that is associated with PE it really depends on the man and his partner. If the man comes quickly and it is not a concern to him or his partner, it is not a problem. PE is only seen as a problem when the man consistently come's more quickly than he or his partners want. It seems that the real issue is about voluntary control of the ejaculatory process rather than the time taken.

The good news is that sex therapist report a 80% to 90% success rate for men who had followed a program with a sex therapist.

From what you have written it sounds like PE is really affecting your sex life. I would suggest that you connect up with a sex counsellor/therapist that specializes in this area.

Here is a link with information on connecting up with a sex counsellor/therapist.
http://healthnurse.wordpress.com/fa...0-chatting-with-a-sex-counselor-or-therapist/

If you do not want to see a sex counselor/therapist you could always get a book that has a detailed program in it. I would recommend Dr Bernie Zilbergeld book “The new male sexuality” it has a great program in it and is available from the Vancouver library.

Here is a link to a website for more information on PE.
http://www.aboutmen.ca/health-areas.../penis-health/sexual-health/rapid-ejaculation

HN
www.healthnurse.wordpress.com
www.stiresource.com
www.bccdc.ca

 

[Fox1302]

HN,

Thank you very much for your very useful inputs.
I'll definatelly contact a sex therapist and try to find the book that you recommended.

Do you know of any sex therapist in Ottawa area who specialized in PE related issues?

Thank you!
Fox