I found PERB when I moved to Vancouver and was contemplating seeing an SP, and although I have yet not indulged, I check in with PERB frequently because I really enjoy your discussions on a variety of subjects. I have a dilemma that I am sure you guys can help me out with. I met a girl before Christmas at the gym and we have been seeing each other since then. My problem is I think she might be a SP, she told me she is a marketing consultant and works from home, but she has a very strange schedule, absolutely hates it when I drop by without calling and seems to have a lot of cell phones. She and I both have graduate degrees, and while I am paying off my student loans (reason I moved to Vancouver, my company classifies Canada as “overseas” thus better salary) she seems to spend at will. Are there some telltale signs I should look for? I looked at some web sites the Buy&Sell, Georgia Straight, etc. Any help would be appreciated.
Need Help ASAP
- Thread starter redknight
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hmmmmm...you could post her cell #, but then again she could have a dedicated cell # just for SP'ing.
Doesn't like it when you just drop by, does she ever drop by at your place. I hate when shit seems like it's turning into a 1 way street.
There is a bunch of ways to tell and the exact same ways could be other shit all together.
Seems like shits taken a turn in a wrong direction if you have to ask your self this about a would be GF.
Maybe stake out her place and see what kinda people come and go, obviously this won't work if she lives in an apartment.
Doesn't like it when you just drop by, does she ever drop by at your place. I hate when shit seems like it's turning into a 1 way street.
There is a bunch of ways to tell and the exact same ways could be other shit all together.
Seems like shits taken a turn in a wrong direction if you have to ask your self this about a would be GF.
Maybe stake out her place and see what kinda people come and go, obviously this won't work if she lives in an apartment.
Thanks for your input. She drops by my apartment, even when I am not there (gave her a key) and I don't care. If I ask her she will probably be pissed, and is not something I can do as it's just a feeling,she has tons and tons of lingerie, and dresses that are not quite appropriate for business and a whole lot of things that might be totally innocent or not.
needless to say you don't have to post her address, but maybe if it's a house, part of town, stores or restaurants near by, parks, etc.... if she's a SP there is a good as any chance someone on here's fukked her.
or just give it time, sooner or later the cat will be let out of the bag.
or just give it time, sooner or later the cat will be let out of the bag.
I gotta tell ya, if someone I found interesting had lots of lingerie I'd want to check out every last item in her wardrobe. In other words if this woman has a high degree of sexual energy why not just enjoy yourself and not take the whole thing too seriously? Course that's easy for me to say.redknight said:
I would suggest you come right out and ask her. What's the worst that can happen? You will find out the truth and then its up to you to accept it or not.
Other than an over-abundance of condoms, or sex toys laying around, I think you've hit all the tell-tale signs...redknight said:
Could I get a ladies opinion?
I think the best thing is to ask her, however, is there a way I can broach the subject so as not to insult her and if I am wrong not sabotage the relationship? We get along great and have a great time together, sex is brilliant and we share the same general outlook on life, so I really would appreciate any suggestions.
I think the best thing is to ask her, however, is there a way I can broach the subject so as not to insult her and if I am wrong not sabotage the relationship? We get along great and have a great time together, sex is brilliant and we share the same general outlook on life, so I really would appreciate any suggestions.
RK,
I do have a suggestion on how to find out without asking her. The only problem is whether or not I feel comfortable mentioning it, and quite frankly, I do not.
SP's rely upon confidentiality. Anybody on this board who suggests a valid method of finding out without her knowing, is violating that confidentiality.
The question that you need to ask yourself is, what would you do about it if you found out that she was?
Those people who have suggested that you should just ask her, may be right. Perhaps a way to bring up the subject is to wait until the topic of sex for money comes up, like in a TV show or a newspaper article. Ask her opinion of what she thinks about it, then give her yours. If her opinion is pro-escort, ask her if she could ever do something like it. You might crack a joke about the number of cellphones that she has. Tell her that if you ever dated a girl who was in the trade, that you would really like to know about it.
I gotta tell you though, be honest about it. Don't tell her that you would be O.K. with it just to try and coerce an answer out of her.
No offense, but I'm adamantly against any perber giving you tips on how to find out covertly. Good luck.
BB
I do have a suggestion on how to find out without asking her. The only problem is whether or not I feel comfortable mentioning it, and quite frankly, I do not.
SP's rely upon confidentiality. Anybody on this board who suggests a valid method of finding out without her knowing, is violating that confidentiality.
The question that you need to ask yourself is, what would you do about it if you found out that she was?
Those people who have suggested that you should just ask her, may be right. Perhaps a way to bring up the subject is to wait until the topic of sex for money comes up, like in a TV show or a newspaper article. Ask her opinion of what she thinks about it, then give her yours. If her opinion is pro-escort, ask her if she could ever do something like it. You might crack a joke about the number of cellphones that she has. Tell her that if you ever dated a girl who was in the trade, that you would really like to know about it.
I gotta tell you though, be honest about it. Don't tell her that you would be O.K. with it just to try and coerce an answer out of her.
No offense, but I'm adamantly against any perber giving you tips on how to find out covertly. Good luck.
BB
Do the typical paranoid BF things...
...call every SP in town and see if you recognize her voice...
...sit outside her apartment and wait to see if strange guys buzz her place...
...go thru her shit in her apt. when she's in the can, look for condoms, sex toys, lube and shit that you aint ever used with her...
...go thru her list of received calls on her cell(s) when she's in the shower, write them all down, then call the numbers and ask the people on the other end if they frequent hookers...
...hope this helps...
...call every SP in town and see if you recognize her voice...
...sit outside her apartment and wait to see if strange guys buzz her place...
...go thru her shit in her apt. when she's in the can, look for condoms, sex toys, lube and shit that you aint ever used with her...
...go thru her list of received calls on her cell(s) when she's in the shower, write them all down, then call the numbers and ask the people on the other end if they frequent hookers...
...hope this helps...
RK,
I thought about this just a little more. Keep in mind that no matter how you approach the topic, she may not admit to it even if she is an SP. How does she know what your reaction is going to be?
You've only been seeing her for a couple of months, and she might have it in her head that she would never want any of her boyfriends/husbands to ever know.
I did go out with an SP once, although she never told me that she was one. I didn't have conclusive evidence, but there were just too many ducks in a row to ignore, including some peculiar things that her family told me. I didn't tell her family my suspiscions, nor did I tell my "SP" girlfriend about them. The way I looked at it, we weren't in a serious relationship so it didn't matter at that point. She was her own person, and she could do what she wanted. If the relationship had gotten serious, I would have confronted her with what I knew, just so that we could get it into the clear. It would be horrible going through a relationship with such a secret, but I was willing to accept it if it was true.
BB
I thought about this just a little more. Keep in mind that no matter how you approach the topic, she may not admit to it even if she is an SP. How does she know what your reaction is going to be?
You've only been seeing her for a couple of months, and she might have it in her head that she would never want any of her boyfriends/husbands to ever know.
I did go out with an SP once, although she never told me that she was one. I didn't have conclusive evidence, but there were just too many ducks in a row to ignore, including some peculiar things that her family told me. I didn't tell her family my suspiscions, nor did I tell my "SP" girlfriend about them. The way I looked at it, we weren't in a serious relationship so it didn't matter at that point. She was her own person, and she could do what she wanted. If the relationship had gotten serious, I would have confronted her with what I knew, just so that we could get it into the clear. It would be horrible going through a relationship with such a secret, but I was willing to accept it if it was true.
BB
Trust is not to be given away. It should always be earned. Furthermore, just as it can be earned, it can be lost and not regained.sheik yerbouti said:
If you are in a relationship with a person who exhibits extraordinarily suspicious behaviour, it warrants face-to-face questioning. If the person is forthcoming and shows you some evidence, rather than demanding that they be trusted and nothing more, then the person has not earned your trust.
A girl who is a prostitute (or "SP") is one who is having sex with other men. This should immediately be disclosed to her partner, as it is a serious matter of infidelity. If you ask her directly whether or not she is a Service Provider, and you provide evidence for your suspicions, and she says no without providing evidence to the contrary, then you have every right to not be trustful. Evidence provided with questioning must be countered with opposite evidence of the same gravity with the answer. Simple denial is not enough in the face of evidence to the contrary.
Tell her that you reserve the right to investigate if you feel that she has not provided sufficient evidence to counter yours. Then even if she accuses you of spying, she has been forewarned.
You met her just before xmas and she already has keys to your place ? Big no no in my opinion ..... why trust her so quick when you know very little about her. In addition as common courtesy she should've given you a pair of her keys regardless of the fact that she "works" or hos from home. Ask for a pair and see what her reaction would be, I bet you she'll tear a strip off your candyass! LOL
All jokes aside the fact that your feel the way you do is good enough reason to kick her ass to the curb. You dont need the aggravation of having to worry about who is sticking his dick in your GF's orifices when you're not with her. I bet you she's reading this right now and laughing her ass off at your naivety.
? Big no no in my opinion ..... why trust her so quick when you know very little about her. In addition as common courtesy she should've given you a pair of her keys regardless of the fact that she "works" or hos from home. Ask for a pair and see what her reaction would be, I bet you she'll tear a strip off your candyass! LOLAll jokes aside the fact that your feel the way you do is good enough reason to kick her ass to the curb. You dont need the aggravation of having to worry about who is sticking his dick in your GF's orifices when you're not with her. I bet you she's reading this right now and laughing her ass off at your naivety.
I agree with you that she's not working out of home if there is a doorman.Massagegirl said:If she has a doorman, then she is certainly not an SP from home! That kind of traffic attracts notice but can be gotten away with only if there's no one watching the front door. In this case the doorman would/could gossip with the night doorman, and either or may be friends with the manager or a member of the strata council if it's a condo. She wouldn't be there long before asked to cease and desist by her strata council or manager.
She doesn't work for an agency, with traffic problems over there she would have do a 6-8 hour shift, not be on call, most bookings are on short notice.
She could do live shows on the webcam, that would explain the lingerai, the dresses, the hating it when you drop by (i hate that too though) and the weird hours...? Maybe. Best case scenario.
That leaves outcalls. If she does, good news is she's not working that much...as in 1 or 2 a day max, I'd say. Maybe less. Viable outcalls are not that common unless it's for a big agency who gets a high volume of calls.
I don't necessarily believe she's a Marketing Consultant either though. Try mentioning you have a friend looking to hire a Marketing Consultant and see what she says. If she doesn't want the job for whatever reason, ask if she can recommend someone. Ask her what does a Marketing Consultant do anyway? (Then PM me as I'm curious too, lol.)
Have you ever asked why she has so many cell phones? Do they all work or are they possibly old ones she upgraded? Being an SP doesn't mean you have any need for multiple phones....unless she's a phone lady for multiple agencies/girls that is. Do they ring while you're there and does she answer? You're in the green if that's the answer.
I have to agree with what someone else said and that's enjoy what you have before you lose it. Compatible people don't come along every day so don't f*ck it up! Maybe she is doing it to pay off hideous student loans, and didn't expect to meet someone special...?
if you really have to know, drop hints like "I knew a girl who got in such debt that she started working as an escort, boy she had the funniest stories!" Then when things get serious say something along the lines of "I'm falling for you but I feel like there is something you're not telling me, things just don't add up, but it must just be me because you're such a wonderful person. I'm sorry I said anything" Then walk away with your shoulders hunched, head down and let her think on it a day or 2. Either way she will broach the subject again, either to question you or talk about your doubts or to confide in you. Keep an open mind and watch your body language whatever she says, don't shout or get angry or she'll say "just kidding" and you'll be back to square one except she won't return your calls.
Good luck (and don't f*ck it up.)
MG
I disagree that she may not be a marketing consultant.
Reasons:
I do commercial diving and ROV operation. That takes me out of town at a moments notice. I have Vonage and Cell Phone accounts to allow me to control phone costs. (it's cheaper to have a second cell than it is to pay the long distance on a 604 phone when you're in 613)
I also do a fair amount of political work during elections. I always use a pay and talk phone during an election. I don't want people that got my cell number during the election contacting me afterwards. The people that need to know, know my permanent numbers.
I tried to have an relationship with a marketing consultant. Didn't work. I began to wonder how we had ever met because we were never in the same place at the same time.
I would hate having a curious sally check my computer. (In fact my computer is set up to stop that kind of thing) The reason is; I very often have client information that is highly confidential. Both the diving and the political activity involve information that shouldn't be shared or leaked.
I think his girlfriend has already realized that he is a curious george and she doesn't trust him to not leak information on the campaigns she is working on. How many people would have loved to know what IBM was doing in 1982? I can think of a great many other marketing campaigns that would be compromised if information was leaked.
