You gotta love life, just when you get over one storm you end up in another!! If you guys had a choice between your girlfriend (or boyfriend depending on your situation of course) or your bestfriend, who would you choose? The thing is they get along but his gf has been really cold towards mine and for NO reason....and well I have to make a choice: my girlfriend or my bestfriend. My bestfriend is getting married next year, and I can see myself marrying my gf in the future. I know this is a personal choice but this is rough! On one hand I have my girlfriend whom, dare I say, love....and on the other hand I have my boy, like a younger bro. I want to confront his gf and ask her why the f@ck are you making my life a living Hell, causing the near breakup fights between my gf and I (and yes, given that I am writing this she and I just had one) but I have a feeling she'll deny any such thing to save face. THIS REALLY SUCKS!!!!
Need Advice! PLEASE! Tough Tough Choice!!
- Thread starter Rolls Royce
- Start date
Time for you to get some good advise....
Sounds like your best friend is marrying a real bitch.
The time to help your friend is now.
Tell him to get out of that relationship and not marry that girl.
Any girl that would do that to a guy's best friend is TROUBLE, and only will cause him heartache and pain AFTER they get married and he's STUCK.
You can quote me 100% on this....
She will drive a wedge between him and any relationship he has with any other person - because she's jealous and insecure and wants him all to herself. Sounds cute for now.... but it's a receipe for disaster.
The sad part is it's not you making the choice between bro's and hoes - it's your friend... and he's not making the right one.
Sounds like your best friend is marrying a real bitch.
The time to help your friend is now.
Tell him to get out of that relationship and not marry that girl.
Any girl that would do that to a guy's best friend is TROUBLE, and only will cause him heartache and pain AFTER they get married and he's STUCK.
You can quote me 100% on this....
She will drive a wedge between him and any relationship he has with any other person - because she's jealous and insecure and wants him all to herself. Sounds cute for now.... but it's a receipe for disaster.
The sad part is it's not you making the choice between bro's and hoes - it's your friend... and he's not making the right one.
Cadman your right on that part, this is exactly what has happened in my relationship with my SO. Slowly but surely friends don't call or visit anymore, and next thing you know she controls YOUR life, there no there anymore to support you, she has total control over you. Whatever friends you now have are usually hers.
So RollsRoyce what I would suggest, is have a PowWow all four of you, no alcohol beverages involved and talk it out.
All this may stem from some idiotic event that happened way back and someone is holding a grudge.
Sit the kittens down and explain to them, as much as you love them, you value your friendship equally, and if they can't understand that, well my friend sorry to say this but you need to move on away from that relationship, before it gets any worst than what it is now.
My 2 cents
P...................................
just a thought, but perhaps your friend's gf knows some information about your gf that you don't. Perhaps your friend's gf doesn't like the way she treats you? or perhaps she's seen or heard of your gf being >gasp< unfaithful? People rarely hate another person or treat them like shit for "no good reason". Perhaps talking with your friend's gf in an unthreating way might yield you some helpful information.
I can see ...
There is only one way to solve this . the girls have to have a bitch fight, get all the shit out in the open. Then when it it is all over you and your bro. are going to have to go at it also .. it the right thing to do over a girl .. THen when your done .. if you all are not the best of friend .. then its is good that you know now that it would never have lasted.
Putting it in context I have know best friend s .or a girl friend .. but is nice to here of those that do.. good luck.
There is only one way to solve this . the girls have to have a bitch fight, get all the shit out in the open. Then when it it is all over you and your bro. are going to have to go at it also .. it the right thing to do over a girl .. THen when your done .. if you all are not the best of friend .. then its is good that you know now that it would never have lasted.
Putting it in context I have know best friend s .or a girl friend .. but is nice to here of those that do.. good luck.
Am I missing something here?
The original question doesn't make any sense at all to me. Basically, are you saying that you can't marry anyone and keep your friend unless your respective partners get along? if that were the case, you'd be single forever That getting-along condition doesn't evern work for families and in-laws. Tell them you plan to be guy friends with this guy after you get married, getting together to do guy stuff and leave the women out of it when you get together. If they don't agree to that, dump one or more of the women. If they're mature and really care, they would agree to you guys staying best friends and them staying out of the way of your friendship. If, on the other hand, that's not possible, then the bro's before ho's rule doesn't apply here. Because the decisions really being made by his ho. Not by him. You'd be applying "his ho before your ho." Which of course would be wroing. IF its impossible just to keep them apart, go for your girlfriend as it sounds like his fiance is dysfunctional and its just a matter of time before you bf realizes is.
The original question doesn't make any sense at all to me. Basically, are you saying that you can't marry anyone and keep your friend unless your respective partners get along? if that were the case, you'd be single forever That getting-along condition doesn't evern work for families and in-laws. Tell them you plan to be guy friends with this guy after you get married, getting together to do guy stuff and leave the women out of it when you get together. If they don't agree to that, dump one or more of the women. If they're mature and really care, they would agree to you guys staying best friends and them staying out of the way of your friendship. If, on the other hand, that's not possible, then the bro's before ho's rule doesn't apply here. Because the decisions really being made by his ho. Not by him. You'd be applying "his ho before your ho." Which of course would be wroing. IF its impossible just to keep them apart, go for your girlfriend as it sounds like his fiance is dysfunctional and its just a matter of time before you bf realizes is.
doesn't matter
In the end everyone changes as time goes on...there may be a time when you an the bf don't get along.
Think about life with kids too, are you're families going to be close enough that the kids will be together? That can pose a problem.
Marrage changes things regardless and in the process sometime you lose family let alone friends. Better to lose friends then family though.
Its really a tough call, but if the gf is to be the mother of my kids....the choice is much more simple.
In the end everyone changes as time goes on...there may be a time when you an the bf don't get along.
Think about life with kids too, are you're families going to be close enough that the kids will be together? That can pose a problem.
Marrage changes things regardless and in the process sometime you lose family let alone friends. Better to lose friends then family though.
Its really a tough call, but if the gf is to be the mother of my kids....the choice is much more simple.
More to the saga....
Hi All,
First of I don't know how and where to begin thanking all of you who responded. Basically, I thought it best to ask my fellow Perberts than my friends, well because all my friends are intermingled. I thought 3rd party advice from you guys would be the best bet, that way everything stays impartial.... I should clarify more things:
1. I was there when my bestfriend and his girlfriend first started going out, so she really has NO problem with me, in fact she saw me as an older brother figure. She was sooooo keen on meeting my gf and when they met blam! instant hate!
2. The moment my gf and my bestfriend's gf hugged each other, I swear I saw an anti-spark flash between the two.
3. While I would ideally like to keep the girls apart, as many of you have suggested, he is getting married to her next year, and being his #1 bro I'm the best man. What this translates into is that my gf considers our relationship as one, and me being in the presence of her "enemy" is being disrespectful and unloyal to my gf.
4. I've offered to talk to his gf and ask her flatly "what's your problem" but my gf won't allow me to do that saying that his gf will simply say "nothing at all, there is no problem"
5. Just to give you guys an idea of the bad blood, his gf got a mutual acquaintance she "didn't like at all" flowers on that stranger's Bday! My gf has never even gotten a Bday wish? Talk about hate!!
6. As my bf and I get married how will our kids play together, especially if their moms can't stand each other? This type of thing is different for family situations....mainly because you have no choice with family.
Hope that clears a few things....
Hi All,
First of I don't know how and where to begin thanking all of you who responded. Basically, I thought it best to ask my fellow Perberts than my friends, well because all my friends are intermingled. I thought 3rd party advice from you guys would be the best bet, that way everything stays impartial.... I should clarify more things:
1. I was there when my bestfriend and his girlfriend first started going out, so she really has NO problem with me, in fact she saw me as an older brother figure. She was sooooo keen on meeting my gf and when they met blam! instant hate!
2. The moment my gf and my bestfriend's gf hugged each other, I swear I saw an anti-spark flash between the two.
3. While I would ideally like to keep the girls apart, as many of you have suggested, he is getting married to her next year, and being his #1 bro I'm the best man. What this translates into is that my gf considers our relationship as one, and me being in the presence of her "enemy" is being disrespectful and unloyal to my gf.
4. I've offered to talk to his gf and ask her flatly "what's your problem" but my gf won't allow me to do that saying that his gf will simply say "nothing at all, there is no problem"
5. Just to give you guys an idea of the bad blood, his gf got a mutual acquaintance she "didn't like at all" flowers on that stranger's Bday! My gf has never even gotten a Bday wish? Talk about hate!!
6. As my bf and I get married how will our kids play together, especially if their moms can't stand each other? This type of thing is different for family situations....mainly because you have no choice with family.
Hope that clears a few things....
I'll elaborate on the family comment. In a healthy family where people love each other, they compromise if the in-laws don't get along for whatever reason. Are your bf and gf compromising in any way here? If he's unwilling to get involved and help you work on the two gf's, then I question whether he really is enough of a 'bro' to sacrifice your 'ho' for. It just really bothers me to think you might be dumping a gf because of his dysfunctional gf. It wouldn't be right that she'd have to approve of any future wife for you. If she's controlling him, fine, but don't let her control you through him, too.
I agree with hubbahubba and sweetiepie. Mature people find a way to make it work, without having to dump one for the other.
I find it interesting that you are having a hard time with this.
I wonder if your guy friend is having the same problem. Is he considering dumping his significant other for you? Somehow i doubt it. So do what he does. If your friendship is strong enough, it'll work out. It just won't be the same as before but things change.
I find it interesting that you are having a hard time with this.
I wonder if your guy friend is having the same problem. Is he considering dumping his significant other for you? Somehow i doubt it. So do what he does. If your friendship is strong enough, it'll work out. It just won't be the same as before but things change.
keepin mind...
Not everyone is going to get along with everyone...accept that and move on. Just because the gf's don't get along, doesn't mean that you have to get ulsers over it. IF your gf says you can't see your bf..THEN you have a problem.
As for the wedding, don't insist that your gf has to go too. Respect her feelings and she'll respect your's hopefully.
Not everyone is going to get along with everyone...accept that and move on. Just because the gf's don't get along, doesn't mean that you have to get ulsers over it. IF your gf says you can't see your bf..THEN you have a problem.
As for the wedding, don't insist that your gf has to go too. Respect her feelings and she'll respect your's hopefully.
Respectfully tell your friend that his girlfriend must wrestle yours in an all holds allowed chocolate light pudding fight.
1. It tells your friend and his girlfriend you are being considerate to his girlfriends needs.
1a She gets a chance at getting rid of your girlfriend
1b Your friends girl gets some stress relief
1c They get less calories*
2. See offer 5
3. You're other friends can practice their photography or you can practice your reality sex vibe again. BONUS!
4. Offer an Hawaiian vacation to the winner and her beau courtesy of the losing winners boyfriend. In addition, get them to pick out three bikinis before hand to use throughout three rounds. The winner gets her 3 bikinis as part of the prize package and the loser after all is said and done gets a nice swag bag of the pudding bikinis she's worn.
5. You can actually talk to your friend, his girlfriend and yours. If they don't make it work, don't hang out together dumbass. Take time with the best friend only if you must.
6. Personally, I want to know why she hates your girl so much heh heh
ntn
*Calorie light pudding If licking is indeed allowed
1. It tells your friend and his girlfriend you are being considerate to his girlfriends needs.
1a She gets a chance at getting rid of your girlfriend
1b Your friends girl gets some stress relief
1c They get less calories*
2. See offer 5
3. You're other friends can practice their photography or you can practice your reality sex vibe again. BONUS!
4. Offer an Hawaiian vacation to the winner and her beau courtesy of the losing winners boyfriend. In addition, get them to pick out three bikinis before hand to use throughout three rounds. The winner gets her 3 bikinis as part of the prize package and the loser after all is said and done gets a nice swag bag of the pudding bikinis she's worn.
5. You can actually talk to your friend, his girlfriend and yours. If they don't make it work, don't hang out together dumbass. Take time with the best friend only if you must.
6. Personally, I want to know why she hates your girl so much heh heh
ntn
*Calorie light pudding If licking is indeed allowed
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...now there's some good advice from the Nickster. I was thinking along the same lines. Why not swap partners for a night and have a good humpfest, then everyone will love everyone? The girls could even do a lesbo scene, and you boys could do a......... couple jugs of pale ale!
Now seriously, I have lived pretty much the exact same thing! My BF's GF is a control freak that wears the pants in the house, tosses guilt around like mother superior, is an egomaniac, and ALWAYS makes controversy every time we've gotten together. Finally, my GF and I said 'nough drama! So the BF is welcome any time and I slide out with him periodically to continue our healthy relationship, but the GF is relegated to 'small doses' events, like a movie or concert where everyone pretty much just sits and watches and doesn't have to listen to bitch rants. As two couples we've drifted apart, but my sincere friendship with my bro will never falter even if our clans don't hang together. I am happy for him that he loves her and has someone to share his life with. I am also happy I don't have to put up with her anymore than I choose to. Life is about choices and consequences, for better or worse (oops, sliding into nuptials there).
Good luck with it.
