My wife left me ...

[Randy Whorewald]

My wifeleft me... I don't understand women! After our last kid was born, shetold mewe hadto cut back on expenses, and that I had to give up drinking beer. Iwas not a big drinker; maybe a 12 pack on weekends-- Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from shopping, the receipt said$45 on makeup. "Wait a minute," I said, "I've given up beerand you haven't given up anything!"
"I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"I don't think she'll be back!

 

[hitrack]

 

[richmann]

Beer is Better Than Women because ....

You can enjoy a beer all night long.

Beer stains wash out.

You don't have to wine and dine beer.

A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

Beer is never late.

A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

Hangovers go away.

Beer labels come off without a fight.

When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.

Beer never has a headache.

After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

A beer goes down easy.

You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

You can share beer with your friends.

You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

Beer is always wet.

You can have a beer in public.

A beer doesn't care when you come.

A frigid beer is a good beer.

You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

A beer is always satisfying.

A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

A beer does not come with in-laws.

No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

Beer won't drive you to drink.

You can shoot a beer.

A beer chaser is easier to catch.

Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

 

[dick slap]

Classic Richmann, classic