Dear fellow pooners, sp's, and moderators,
I am a mid-twenties asian male. I was out of my first serious relationship of about a year, and we've ended it approximately 4 months ago. I was devestated until this very day. I've started pooning around in late 2006, purely from the lack of a relationship in my life and the the lack of intimacy. Also, you cannot just jerk off everyday, as being a young male with raging harmones. I have pooned maybe a couple times during that relationship, as I tried to be the most loyal and faithful bf that I could be. I really respected her and loved her. Our sex life in the past was good, conventional and passionate, but nothing too PSE. I really enjoyed the bond that we shared on the bed, and the experience was so deep that it etches on my mind almost everyday. I also believe that the fact despite my pooning habits, I do have quite traditional values in terms of relationships, marriage. I really did forsee that she was the one, and we could be building a future together, and I saw myself wanting to marry her in the future. Yes, I am quite traditional in that aspect. I have no cheated on her with another girl, despite I pooned a couple of times during that one-year relationship.
After our relationship ended, I've pooned about 5-6 times in that 4 month span, not because that I was super horny at the moment, but because I was extremely sad and needed comfort and intimacy, and I do hope to find that temporary bond with an SP, simular to a pain killer would do. Those times I've pooned, the only images in my head were the past experience having sex with my ex-gf, and the sweet times we've been together. After the session, I would always feel very down and sad. The breakup was a devestatng blow to my life, as I've been in depression in almost every day of those 4 months. I could not concentrate on school or work, and my overall morale has been very low in almost all aspects in life. I still contact my ex once in a while, but she treats me coldly although we are still supposedly as normal friends. I tried very hard in order to revive our relationship but she was quite firm about it. I feel that she's treating me coldly and very distant, even as a friend.
I tried to move on and forget about her, but it's extremely difficult. I do not know if I should scarely be a friend of her, or just end all ties with her completely in our lives. It's been very difficult as I keep thinking of her everyday. It is even more difficult to share these things with my friends, first being that I do not have much friends, and typically guys to guys don't share these kind of emotional type of thing. I have female friends, but obviously I do not want to share with them about pooning and such. I basically have no one to talk to but to share it here on the boards. There has been extremely depressed days where I have even had images of suicide, but just a thought. I do not know what to do, and how to get out of this hell hole.
Do I seek counselling, or see a psychiatrist? Does anyone have any information where I could seek help with these issues? Anyone could share what I could do right now to ease the pain and just live a normal live, without sadness and depression?
Thank you all for your time and inputs.
-Jizz Machine
I am a mid-twenties asian male. I was out of my first serious relationship of about a year, and we've ended it approximately 4 months ago. I was devestated until this very day. I've started pooning around in late 2006, purely from the lack of a relationship in my life and the the lack of intimacy. Also, you cannot just jerk off everyday, as being a young male with raging harmones. I have pooned maybe a couple times during that relationship, as I tried to be the most loyal and faithful bf that I could be. I really respected her and loved her. Our sex life in the past was good, conventional and passionate, but nothing too PSE. I really enjoyed the bond that we shared on the bed, and the experience was so deep that it etches on my mind almost everyday. I also believe that the fact despite my pooning habits, I do have quite traditional values in terms of relationships, marriage. I really did forsee that she was the one, and we could be building a future together, and I saw myself wanting to marry her in the future. Yes, I am quite traditional in that aspect. I have no cheated on her with another girl, despite I pooned a couple of times during that one-year relationship.
After our relationship ended, I've pooned about 5-6 times in that 4 month span, not because that I was super horny at the moment, but because I was extremely sad and needed comfort and intimacy, and I do hope to find that temporary bond with an SP, simular to a pain killer would do. Those times I've pooned, the only images in my head were the past experience having sex with my ex-gf, and the sweet times we've been together. After the session, I would always feel very down and sad. The breakup was a devestatng blow to my life, as I've been in depression in almost every day of those 4 months. I could not concentrate on school or work, and my overall morale has been very low in almost all aspects in life. I still contact my ex once in a while, but she treats me coldly although we are still supposedly as normal friends. I tried very hard in order to revive our relationship but she was quite firm about it. I feel that she's treating me coldly and very distant, even as a friend.
I tried to move on and forget about her, but it's extremely difficult. I do not know if I should scarely be a friend of her, or just end all ties with her completely in our lives. It's been very difficult as I keep thinking of her everyday. It is even more difficult to share these things with my friends, first being that I do not have much friends, and typically guys to guys don't share these kind of emotional type of thing. I have female friends, but obviously I do not want to share with them about pooning and such. I basically have no one to talk to but to share it here on the boards. There has been extremely depressed days where I have even had images of suicide, but just a thought. I do not know what to do, and how to get out of this hell hole.
Do I seek counselling, or see a psychiatrist? Does anyone have any information where I could seek help with these issues? Anyone could share what I could do right now to ease the pain and just live a normal live, without sadness and depression?
Thank you all for your time and inputs.
-Jizz Machine
